Do most men like bubbly women?

[Star Gazer]

Yes, well, I did take her to task for her..inaccurate...description. Perhaps she was feeling resentful...

 

It appears that Ocean_Blue has found a much better description.

 

Okay, but O_B's description isn't Shadow's... Shadow hasn't agreed with it.

[shadowplay]

I disagree. I think generally happy people are who she considers "bubbly."

 

Nope, I never said that.

[Star Gazer]

Why are you being so defensive? She has clearly stated precisely the type of woman she is talking about. She has nothing against happy women, it's the fake vapid ones that prompted her to ask the original question.

 

There is no reason for you to take such a personal shot at Shadow - unless of course she hit a nerve with you.

 

First, please note that she has not agreed with your definition, OB. While your definition may be "much better" in describing "bimbos and airheads" and one that most of us would agree with, she hasn't qualified her definition as far as I can tell.

 

Secondly, yes - she did strike a nerve. Shadow seems incapable of seeing beyond facades, despite her claims otherwise. In even starting this thread, she's blanketly judging women she doesn't even know.

 

Take me, for example. Now, I don't really care what Shadow would think of me IRL. But for those who don't already know... I'm blonde, I have fake boobs, I'm happy and I smile and laugh a lot, and yet despite the "depth" (good or bad) I've proven here, I know that she would label me as some vapid, depth-less bimbo before even having a conversation with me. That's really short-sighted, and a little pompous.

 

Third - not sure what personal shot you're referring to. She said in this thread and others that she's depressed and she's said in tons of threads she has no friends. She's also said in this thread that men "pass her over" to hang around these "bubbly" women. I'm just comparing "her" versus those who are getting the attention.

[Star Gazer]

I just reread what you wrote and it was really nasty and f-cked up. What's your problem? I wasn't personally attacking you; why are you attacking me? Stop being such a bully.

 

You really, really need to calm down. I simply regurgitated your own confessions.

 

You have said in countless posts that you are depressed, sometimes severely so. Right?

 

You have also said in numerous posts that you have no friends beyond your BF and Sean/Doug, right?

 

Maybe there's a correlation between the two? Perhaps instead of putting down an entire group of people, you can LEARN something from them. There's obviously a reason why people you consider to be "deep" would actively choose and seek out "bubbly people" to spend time with, regardless of your definition of the word. That's all I'm saying.

Edited April 7, 2008 by Star Gazer

[Star Gazer]

Nope, I never said that.

 

That's how I read your description.

[shadowplay]

First, please note that she has not agreed with your definition, OB. While your definition may be "much better" in describing "bimbos and airheads" and one that most of us would agree with, she hasn't qualified her definition as far as I can tell.

 

Secondly, yes - she did strike a nerve. Shadow seems incapable of seeing beyond facades, despite her claims otherwise. In even starting this thread, she's blanketly judging women she doesn't even know.

 

Take me, for example. Now, I don't really care what Shadow would think of me IRL. But for those who don't already know... I'm blonde, I have fake boobs, I'm happy and I smile and laugh a lot, and yet despite the "depth" (good or bad) I've proven here, I know that she would label me as some vapid, depth-less bimbo before even having a conversation with me. That's really short-sighted, and a little pompous.

 

Third - not sure what personal shot you're referring to. She said in this thread and others that she's depressed and she's said in tons of threads she has no friends. She's also said in this thread that men "pass her over" to hang around these "bubbly" women. I'm just comparing "her" versus those who are getting the attention.

 

Just because I haven't agreed with her description yet doesn't mean I don't. I do, but I was more distracted by your incendiary comments. Based on your online persona I wouldn't even describe you as bubbly.

 

Where in the world did you get this whole blonde hair, fake boob thing? I never once said anything about being anti-blonde. I have blonde hair myself. You take things too personally and assume stuff is directed at you when it's not.

 

Just because I've admitted to not having friends doesn't make it okay for you to throw it back at me and make me feel bad about it. That was totally uncalled for. I've come here asking for advice about how to make friends and you throw it in my face. How would I like it if I used stuff against you that I know you feel bad about? I won't stoop to that level.

 

I'm really surprised that this thread is inviting such vitriol. I guess this could have all been avoided had I replaced bubbly with "bimbo."

Edited April 7, 2008 by shadowplay

[OpenBook]

I'm really surprised that this thread is inviting such vitriol. I guess this could have all been avoided had I replaced bubbly with "bimbo."

 

Yeah, me too! I don't get it. But I think using "bimbo" might make it worse!

 

As far as men (and what they're attracted to) are concerned, it doesn't matter whether you're an airhead or a rocket scientist. It's all about how you make THEM feel about THEMSELVES. They could care less how smart you are, or how many "shades" you see, or how "deep" or "complex" you are. It's all about them. Sad, but true.

[Star Gazer]

I'm really surprised that this thread is inviting such vitriol.

 

I think you're being a little melodramatic here, Shadow.

[Ocean-Blue]

Star, I refer you to the following excerpts from Shadow's previous posts on this thread.

 

It bothers me because I'm far from bubbly. The fact that I'm depressed doesn't help, but even when I'm happy and confident I'm not bubbly. That's just not me. I can be energetic and passionate, but I still don't see the world in shades of pink. Bubby women seem fake, unreflective and disconnected from reality. They act that way because they get a lot of reinforcement for being cute, and because they're afraid of not being liked if they express a negative sentiment.

 

I'm talking about women who are cloyingly positive and chipper, to the point of denying reality. People like that strike me as depth-less. Why do guys fall all over them? Do they think being around a woman like that will fill their world with sugarplums and fairies, distracting them from the emptiness of their lives? It sounds silly, but bubbliness is almost the antithesis of everything I stand for. I'm drawn to nuance, shades of gray. Being around someone who's bubbly can be as depressing as being around someone who's constantly negative. Sometimes they seem like the saddest people in the world.

 

I find myself resenting these chipper, chatty girls and the guys who kiss their feet. Must I put on a facade of bubbliness to be appreciated by the opposite sex? Is that the way most men think women should be?

 

Well, I'm not attracted to bubbly people. I like people who are balanced -- not too negative or positive. And I disagree that women are attracted to bubbly guys. In fact the only guys I've met who could be termed "bubbly" are usually gay. There's a difference between outgoing and bubbly. One can be outgoing and not bubbly.

 

Maybe we have a different definition of bubbly. I'm talking about women who are NOT complex, deep or reflective, and deny negativity to the point of delusion. Somebody can be passionate, energetic and outgoing but not "bubbly."

 

What I'm trying to get at is there's a happy inbetween. Of course somebody who's depressed is no fun to be around. But I find men are usually attracted to one extreme. Most don't seek out reflective, complex women. They may go for women who are smart but superficial.

 

I'm no more judgmental than other women. I hate cattiness and gossiping.

 

Btw, those bubbly women can be just as gossipy and catty behind closed doors. I know because I've been friends with them. Maybe guys don't see that side.

 

I like high energy and jokiness in people. I wouln't consider that bubbly. I'm thinking of women who are overly positive all the time and deny the complexity in the world. My ex had a crush on this girl who was like that. An example is once she claimed India doesn't have an overpopulation problem. She couldn't be critical of anything.

 

Bubbly women by my definition have no depth. That is what I mean by bubbly. I get the sense we're talking about two different types of people.

 

She chooses to define such vapid creatures as "bubbly", I prefer to call them bimbos. Just a matter of semantics, no? In the end, we all agree that such creatures are boring, predictable and mentally exhausting in their unwavering shallowness.

 

Third - not sure what personal shot you're referring to. She said in this thread and others that she's depressed and she's said in tons of threads she has no friends. She's also said in this thread that men "pass her over" to hang around these "bubbly" women. I'm just comparing "her" versus those who are getting the attention.

 

I just felt it was inappropriate for you to bring Shadow's personal issues into this particular thread. More importantly, I don't see how it is helpful for you to bring it up. You came across as being defensive because you perceive her post as being an attack on your character type.

 

She was venting about women that we all agree we do not like. We just happen to use different terms to label them.

[TheFonz]

All this talk about bubbly has got me wanting champagne. Either that or a airheaded blonde. I can't decide which, so why not both? I kid.

[OpenBook]

She was venting about women that we all agree we do not like. We just happen to use different terms to label them.

 

Bimbos don't bother me at all, as long as they have kind hearts. I've occasionally had bimbo GF's as homey-G's (I'm a straight female) and they were a riot to hang out with!

[Star Gazer]

Star, I refer you to the following excerpts from Shadow's previous posts on this thread.

 

Fair enough. I really didn't see her description the way you've highlighted it though.

 

I just felt it was inappropriate for you to bring Shadow's personal issues into this particular thread. More importantly, I don't see how it is helpful for you to bring it up. You came across as being defensive because you perceive her post as being an attack on your character type.

 

I'm sure I did come across as defensive - I was, because as I saw her comments, she was attacking my character type.

 

But like I said above, if she shares certain facts/issues/problems here on LS, I think it's unreasonable to expect us to ignore those facts when posting about another issue. I found her lack of friends and self-admitted inability to develop friendships highly relevant to this topic which is basically about her anger towards those who exude "bubbliness" and positivity...

[shadowplay]

Get over yourself. I gave you over 100 posts to clarify yourself, and waited 45 minutes after OB's post for you to agree with her before even speaking up.

 

 

 

WTF? Would you like to be the pot, or the kettle?

 

Your little catty comment doesn't bother me, Shadow. You wouldn't have described TBF as bubbly either, right? And yet she would...and she's probably like the Queen of Depth. You just proved my point that you shouldn't judge a person by their "bubbliness" IRL. You have no right to assume that because someone is positive, happy, smiling, upbeat...that they have no depth.

 

 

 

I'll tell you why this is directed at me - because almost everyone I know IRL describes ME as BUBBLY, upbeat, and positive. I AM BUBBLY. I know that if I was talking to a guy friend of yours at a party or something, you'd be thinking "Who is that depthless bubbly bimbo and why does she deserve attention!?!?!" He could tell you why, I could too. But I don't think you really care to know, because you'd have to actually own up to the... depth... of your own negativity.

 

 

 

Again, wasn't trying to make you feel badly about it. But if you share facts here on LS, ya gotta know people are going to pay attention to them to piece together a more complete picture of who you are. You have no friends, and you've admitted you feel incapable of making new friends. There are obviously reasons for those two issues, Shadow. Perhaps your focus on negativity in both your thoughts and your own actions are the reasons why positivity disgusts you so much. I'm not sure. But I really think you ought to give a REAL thought to why people in general, not just men, are drawn to happy/bubbly/positive/upbeat people.

 

You get over yourself. Did you consider the fact that I have a life and don't refresh this thread every five seconds? I was off LS for half an hour. Sorry to burst your bubble.

 

I clarified my definition of "bubbly" several times in this thread before O_B wrote hers, and you still didn't get it: a person who is vapid, fake and positive to the point of delusion.

 

No, I would not describe TFS that way. She strikes me as fiesty, not bubbly. People can have different definitions of a word. This whole thing has turned into a petty argument over semantics.

Edited April 7, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Ocean-Blue]

Bimbos don't bother me at all, as long as they have kind hearts. I've occasionally had bimbo GF's as homey-G's (I'm a straight female) and they were a riot to hang out with!

 

Then I wouldn't consider her a bimbo.

 

At the core of this is a question of fakeness.

 

To me, a bimbo is the epitome of fake sincerity. She lacks depth and soul. She is more interested in her hair colour than in anything else.

 

Also, such women (as I've previously mentioned) make bad friends.

[ahah2322]

Upon reading the original post, i felt so compelled to reply. That said, I've skipped the posts in between so i may be missing out on things. You are being so judgmental and negative and it is so unattractive and unappealing. Why can't bubbly people have depth?

 

If i may say so, i think there is nothing deep/intellectual/cognitive about being depressed and pensive. There is absolutely nothing complex, discerning, keen and profound in being so judgmental.

 

No offence but i hope you really take time off to do some self-reflection. I think it will do you good.

Edited April 7, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Ocean-Blue]

Upon reading the original post, i felt so compelled to reply. That said, I've skipped the posts in between so i may be missing out on things. Shadow, what is wrong with you? You being so judgemental and negative is so unattractive and unappealing. Why can't bubbly people have depth?

 

Oh right, cos only depressed people like you have depth. If i may say so, i think there is nothing deep/intellectual/cognitive about being depressed and pensive. There is absolutely nothing complex, discerning, keen and profound in being so judgemental.

 

This post is so incendiary. I wish you well shadow but you have got to stop being so emotionally-whacked. No offence but i hope you really take time off to do some self-reflection. I think it will do you good.

 

ahah, I suggest you go through the rest of the thread. You may find that she explains what she means when she says "bubbly."

[Storyrider]

I'm wondering if Shadow has a specific (offline) person in mind. That would explain a lot.

 

Also, here are some other points. Some people are just naturally positive and upbeat. We can already see that my 4 yr old is going to be one of those people. She'll say stuff like, "Dad, guess what, we're having cous cous for dinner!!!!!" with this gleeful smile on her face. Anyone who can get that excited about cous cous is bubbly. But she's not fake or an airhead. I wonder how one would tell the difference? Some adults also exhibit a childlike glee at the little things in life.

 

Secondly, there are women out there who have a social persona that is different from their private persona. I don't tend to operate that way, but some women find it useful as a tool. I would hope no self-respecting woman would act stupid to attract men, but some might smile when they don't actually feel like it. I don't necessarily think this means the person is shallow.

 

I put on my "professor" persona when I teach my class. This persona is more outgoing, confident, jokey and bossy than I ever am on a personal level, but I don't view it as fake. It is just a role that I play, a different facet of myself.

[TheFonz]

Secondly, there are women out there who have a social persona that is different from their private persona. I don't tend to operate that way, but some women find it useful as a tool. I would hope no self-respecting woman would act stupid to attract men, but some might smile when they don't actually feel like it. I don't necessarily think this means the person is shallow.

 

I put on my "professor" persona when I teach my class. This persona is more outgoing, confident, jokey and bossy than I ever am on a personal level, but I don't view it as fake. It is just a role that I play, a different facet of myself.

 

 

This is along the lines when I said that you'd be surprised how many people are acting in real life (in public). I think lots of girls act like a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets .

[Florida]

I think I get what you're saying Shadow. You feel like the square peg. You feel that whom you are is inherently against what most men/people look for. It's not really about hating on the bubbly ones, I think it just seems to come out like that as the fall out of your disappointment that the odds are against you.

 

While mostly that is true, because yes most guys do like the positive party type planner who always has fun and is capable of planning many activities to take HIS mind off HIS problems-the truth is more in line with what Storyrider said, guys don't really care about the specifics, but rather, just how the girl makes them feel.

[AlwaysLost]

I think most people no matter where they meet them have an easier time meeting someone "bubbly" or happy (even if they fake it). its just easier to connect to someone happy and loves life. we all have problems and dont always project a bubbly personality but when you are meeting someone for the first time, happy and "bubbly" is easier than someone that projects a personality more "flat".

[Meaplus3]

I consider myself to be very "bubbly", and that's because I feel that way 99% of the time. Does that mean because I am "bubbly" that I have not brain.. not a wit about me..NO! I'm just happy..because I choose to be. Happiness, IMO is a choice.. it's an inner feeling of peace. Just be you! Hope I made sense. Best Wishes.

 

AP:)

[TheFonz]

I consider myself to be very "bubbly", and that's because I feel that way 99% of the time. Does that mean because I am "bubbly" that I have not brain.. not a wit about me..NO! I'm just happy..because I choose to be. Happiness, IMO is a choice.. it's an inner feeling of peace. Just be you! Hope I made sense. Best Wishes.

 

AP:)

 

OK let's test that hypothesis and see. Quick, what's the state capitols of Texas and Ohio? j/k.

[Storyrider]

the truth is more in line with what Storyrider said, guys don't really care about the specifics, but rather, just how the girl makes them feel.

 

That is a good point, but it wasn't me who said it.

[Star Gazer]

...the truth is more in line with what Storyrider said, guys don't really care about the specifics, but rather, just how the girl makes them feel.

 

Exactly, and don't most people want to be around the happy, upbeat, positive, "bubbly" people?

[TheFonz]

Exactly, and don't most people want to be around the happy, upbeat, positive, "bubbly" people?

 

Not to mention unassuming and nonjudgemental.