Hi, this is my first post!

[Tomcat33]

That same exact thing is said by teenagers who choke themselves in the name of fun. Now you are begining to think like our Julius here. Yes this is a troll thread, but there are men and women who think like that. To say that it's not wrong until you get caught is irresponsible. I too just want people to be happy, but not at someone else's expense.

 

MrMAx your point is valid and no the answer is I would not encourage a teenager to do that.

 

Teenagers are children they are still developing they act out of impulses and poor judgment. An adolescent does not fully develop the frontal lobe of the brain until they are appox. 21 a lot of ther erratic behaviour can be attributed to the slow development (or not fully developed) part of the brain that controls the impulsive behaviour and poor judgment, sexual behaviour amongst other things.... So of course we need to guide and mentor teenagers, sometimes they are not in form to make adult decisions.

 

Now a 55 yr old woman? Can you compare that to a teenager?

[whichwayisup]

Teenagers are children they are still developing they act out of impulses and poor judgment.

 

I agree with that 100%, but unfortunately some adults act like teens too.

 

Teens are selfish and very ME ME ME orientated! (you should see one of my neighbours 16 year old's! Wow...Unbelivable..) There are some adults, and age doesn't matter, that are just as ME ME ME orientated as teens.

[Tomcat33]

My house is a very nice house. As a matter of fact it's looking far better than it's ever looked. I have no financial issues, regardless of my ongoing legal costs. I'm currently lightly dating a few men who are very nice. That I choose to remain uncommitted right now, is my personal choice. Best to go into something whole and I'm actually almost 100% there. It's an awesome feeling considering how long it's been since I last felt this good about life. Thanks for asking though.

 

Really TC, sociopathic behaviours are not something to condone...

 

 

Well I gues you proved me wrong, the house is in order and life in hunky dorey so the "nosey neighbour syndrome"does not apply to you Trial.

I take that back then.

 

Again, the life you described is your life choice and you look in the mirror and feel good at the end of your day and that is what you should aim for in your life, that is what we should ALL aim for in our lives. But can you fathom the thought thay maybe the Lizzie''s of this world also have no problem looking in the mirror and getting a good night's rest?

Happiness come in many forms, that which we cannot understand does not wrong make, it just makes it unkown to us.

 

Hey I could never go to a swingers club but those people don't look too depressed to me...so who am I to tell them how to live? That's my point, it's not advocating or not, it's "well if it works for you and THAT'S what makes you happy...."(Tomcat---->shrugs shoulders, flicks her hair and looks for her lipgloss to retouch her lips)

[Tomcat33]

I agree with that 100%, but unfortunately some adults act like teens too.

 

Teens are selfish and very ME ME ME orientated! (you should see one of my neighbours 16 year old's! Wow...Unbelivable..) There are some adults, and age doesn't matter, that are just as ME ME ME orientated as teens.

 

Yeah no kidding there's a lot of grown adults that are just like teens, hopefully those adults have their frontal lobes not fully developed as well because there is no excusing some of the reverted behaviour.

But wait a minut....I think we may have hit on something interesting here...seniors also tend to revert into child-like behaviour maybe that's why Lizzie is having her eurika now? (not that 55 is a senior by any stretch but could be that entering that fourth quarter of life may be doing something....)

[Trialbyfire]

Well I gues you proved me wrong, the house is in order and life in hunky dorey so the "nosey neighbour syndrome"does not apply to you Trial.

I take that back then.

 

Again, the life you described is your life choice and you look in the mirror and feel good at the end of your day and that is what you should aim for in your life, that is what we should ALL aim for in our lives. But can you fathom the thought thay maybe the Lizzie''s of this world also have no problem looking in the mirror and getting a good night's rest?

Happiness come in many forms, that which we cannot understand does not wrong make, it just makes it unkown to us.

 

Hey I could never go to a swingers club but those people don't look too depressed to me...so who am I to tell them how to live? That's my point, it's not advocating or not, it's "well if it works for you and THAT'S what makes you happy...."(Tomcat---->shrugs shoulders, flicks her hair and looks for her lipgloss to retouch her lips)

Swingers have open marriages. There are no betrayed spouses involved in their extramarital affairs.

 

You have to ask why is the OP targeting married men. Why not single men? Single men are more than happy to do the humpity-hump-hump without commitment...

[Tomcat33]

Swingers have open marriages. There are no betrayed spouses involved in their extramarital affairs.

 

You have to ask why is the OP targeting married men. Why not single men? Single men are more than happy to do the humpity-hump-hump without commitment...

 

I knew you were going to say that

 

Well I don't doubt that there is some deep seated psychological motives behind her particular motive to taget married men only, but on a very superficial an non analytical level I think she already explained why

 

she is 55 has no desire to be tied down, and wants her space and loves the attention these men offer her and they never expect more from her, neither does she so it suits her fine.

 

Listen this is going to sound superficial and very shallow but hear me out just for the sake of what we are discussing, forget the moral aspect for one second ok?

 

She does not want commitment at all, she is assuring us that she is very much a "modern woman" who can have emotionless sex with guys ok?

Now a married guy is going to treat her like gold, he will take her to the best restaurants, buy her nice gifts, surprise her with trips etc all the material things that you can think of PLUS shower her in compliments and emotional lavishing and adore her body every time they get together to have sex.

 

Now be honest you don't have to post it here just post the question to yourself if you like,

 

if you could meet a man a SINGLE man that could do all of this for you EVERY single time you meet with him and your time with him is nothing but fun and drama free and you were fine with never getting close enough to share love with him but he gave you all this wouldn't you go for it? Remeber all the things I just said, forget it's YOU the circumstances are as I just posted them.

I don't know too many women who wouldn't, who doesn't like to be romanced and wooed every time they get together with a man?

The single guy won't try this hard because he can get sex anywhere....

the married guy has more at stake.

 

Well the difference between what most women would agree to go for in the above scenario and the married guy scenario, is that someone like Lizzie chooses to EDIT out the part about him being married. That's where the morality comes in but the rest of it if you want no strings attatched, does make sense for someone like her. So to try to talk her out of that is really futile, IMO.

[Trialbyfire]

The single guy won't try this hard because he can get sex anywhere....

the married guy has more at stake.

 

This logic is flawed. Single guys going through MLC do not get laid regularly...

[Tomcat33]

This logic is flawed. Single guys going through MLC do not get laid regularly...

'

 

what's MLC?

[Trialbyfire]

'

 

what's MLC?

Mid-life crisis.

[Curmudgeon]

This is my point. We cannot put all men in a same mold...

 

Aren't you the one who said that ALL men cheat?

 

A little consistency would be nice.

 

First your age. Then your generalization followed by your own counter-argument to it.

[Tomcat33]

Mid-life crisis.

 

So the logic in my post is flawed because single men going through mid life crisis are not getting laid? can you elaborate on that?

[Tomcat33]

what does mid lilfe crisis have to do with anything!?!?

[Trialbyfire]

So the logic in my post is flawed because single men going through mid life crisis are not getting laid? can you elaborate on that?

Your assumption that MLC MM are going to try harder because they don't get laid as often as single MLC men doesn't work.

 

Most MM do get laid more often than single men when they're going through MLC. Surprisingly enough, wives enjoy sex as well...

[Curmudgeon]

what does mid lilfe crisis have to do with anything!?!?

 

You'll know if and when it strikes you. Ya know, it could even cause you to take up both sides of an argument. Imagine that!

[Tomcat33]

Your assumption that MLC MM are going to try harder because they don't get laid as often as single MLC men doesn't work.

 

Most MM do get laid more often than single men when they're going through MLC. Surprisingly enough, wives enjoy sex as well...

 

My "assumption"never even mentioned MLC, YOU brought that up!?! WTF LOL Trial you have this weird obsession with adding words to my posts to say what you are thinking not what I am posting...wanna go back and read what I wrote?

 

MLC is irrelevant. It could be a 30 yr old guy cheating. The point was that for the very reason that he does not want the affair to end, he has a lot at stake for engaging in the affair and having the OW rat him out, the time he spend with the OW is hassle free and fun it's an EsCAPE from reality, he, the MM will try THAT much harder than any single guy ever will because the stakes are much higher for the MM. That single guy can take it or leave it he has other women to choose from there is nothing tying him to any particular woman.

 

Curmudgeon LOL I know what mid life crisis is LOL I just didn't know what the acronym stood for, but your point is dually noted the part about the both sides of the argument happens to me now, does that mean what I think it does...NOOOOOOOOOO!

[NoIDidn't]

TC

 

I disagree with your logic, but not for the reasons you think.

 

First, not all MM are gift buyers. Most are cheap and only talk out of all of their orifices, if you KWIM.

 

Second, I think that women that target MM like the OP does, do so because he is already married. If she is against a guy getting all into her like she says, she wants a guy that can't afford to get into her because he has a W and family.

 

I get the impression that if any of her men friends wanted her fulltime, she would tell them no, and run in the opposite direction.

[Trialbyfire]

My "assumption"never even mentioned MLC, YOU brought that up!?! WTF LOL Trial you have this weird obsession with adding words to my posts to say what you are thinking not what I am posting...wanna go back and read what I wrote?

 

MLC is irrelevant. It could be a 30 yr old guy cheating. The point was that for the very reason that he does not want the affair to end, he has a lot at stake for engaging in the affair and having the OW rat him out, the time he spend with the OW is hassle free and fun it's an EsCAPE from reality, he, the MM will try THAT much harder than any single guy ever will because the stakes are much higher for the MM. That single guy can take it or leave it he has other women to choose from there is nothing tying him to any particular woman.

 

Curmudgeon LOL I know what mid life crisis is LOL I just didn't know what the acronym stood for, but your point is dually noted the part about the both sides of the argument happens to me now, does that mean what I think it does...NOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Here is the OPs post that made me think MLC. There aren't too many 30 year-olds who have everything listed below...

 

I happen to know they are good fathers... and since it is clear from the start that we will not pursue any relationship further than the sexual part, he doesn't feel threaten by me... Most MM want to remain in their marriage because of the kids...the house, the boat, the cottage, the RRSPs...etc, not the wife, sorry but that's the truth. Most of them say their partner is their best friend... they get along well.. except for the sex...and some even have a great sex life too... they just want the kinky sex, the lingerie... the excitement.

[Tomcat33]

TC

 

I disagree with your logic, but not for the reasons you think.

 

First, not all MM are gift buyers. Most are cheap and only talk out of all of their orifices, if you KWIM.

 

Second, I think that women that target MM like the OP does, do so because he is already married. If she is against a guy getting all into her like she says, she wants a guy that can't afford to get into her because he has a W and family.

 

I get the impression that if any of her men friends wanted her fulltime, she would tell them no, and run in the opposite direction.

 

Ooooh wow I would beg to differ, I would invite all current and ex OW to share just how "giving" their men were. I think you'd be surprised how much money, how many treats these guys spend on their mistresses..

 

Ok but fair enough let's suppose MM are cheap and don't buy gifts, in terms of giving of other things that romance women, they have it down. There is a reason why all the OW get SO damn addicted to the men and it's not because the guys give them a quick romp in the back room of the sports bar and they are off....oh no these guys go the extra mile. They treat their OW like queens.

 

When men are in love they feel compelled to give a lot of "surprise gifts"

 

But the point was more that MM in affairs give SO much, so much more than your average single guy who, like I said does not need to try as hard.

 

If you don't see the logic in what am saying that's fine. I'm putting out there anyway.

[Tomcat33]

Here is the OPs post that made me think MLC. There aren't too many 30 year-olds who have everything listed below...

 

 

 

 

Ok fair enough.

 

I have a few friends that had all the that before they hit their mid 30's but maybe we are the exception.

[Trialbyfire]

Ok fair enough.

 

I have a few friends that had all the that before they hit their mid 30's but maybe we are the exception.

Get real...

 

As if you weren't aware that it's not common to have all these assets and kids by the time you're 30....

[NoIDidn't]

Ooooh wow I would beg to differ, I would invite all current and ex OW to share just how "giving" their men were. I think you'd be surprised how much money, how many treats these guys spend on their mistresses..

 

Ok but fair enough let's suppose MM are cheap and don't buy gifts, in terms of giving of other things that romance women, they have it down. There is a reason why all the OW get SO damn addicted to the men and it's not because the guys give them a quick romp in the back room of the sports bar and they are off....oh no these guys go the extra mile. They treat their OW like queens.

 

When men are in love they feel compelled to give a lot of "surprise gifts"

 

But the point was more that MM in affairs give SO much, so much more than your average single guy who, like I said does not need to try as hard.

 

If you don't see the logic in what am saying that's fine. I'm putting out there anyway.

 

TC

 

All I said was that not all MM are gift givers. Many ARE cheap. The OW here aren't the only OW in the world. I will agree that MM treat the OW better than a single guy would, but that doesn't always mean gifts.

 

Why is it that you always find the one thing that wasn't true for YOU to argue about? Geeez....

[Tomcat33]

Get real...

 

As if you weren't aware that it's not common to have all these assets and kids by the time you're 30....

 

Well I'd rather not assume things, that's the huge difference between you and me Trial. I'm not so closed minded to think everyone lives inside my little bubble.

 

The Op may have stated all those things about her MM but he could be in his 30's or 40's and inherited all of it and actually not be in MLC at all. But you like the idea of the guy going through MLC...whatever you want....

[Trialbyfire]

Really, simply put...no matter how you try to frame it, the OP, if real, which is getting more and more difficult to believe, is living a sociopathic existence. The sad reality is that there are people like this and no one should be condoning this type of lifestyle considering how many people they can and do hurt in the process.

 

I'm starting to wonder if stoning isn't a feasible alternative.

[Tomcat33]

TC

 

All I said was that not all MM are gift givers. Many ARE cheap. The OW here aren't the only OW in the world. I will agree that MM treat the OW better than a single guy would, but that doesn't always mean gifts.

 

Why is it that you always find the one thing that wasn't true for YOU to argue about? Geeez....

 

Why is it that you always assume crap about me personally when you know nothing about me?

The one thing that wasn't true for me!?!? I was never IN an affair so I don't speak from experience. My guy bought me gifts because he wanted to not because he was compensating for the fact that I could not have him or that I would "blow" his cover....I'm talking about men who are sneaking around with their mistresses. they have a lot at stake, they dont want that amazing feeling to end 'they don't want to go back home to their boring mechanical sex with their Ws when they could have endless fun with and excitement with their mistresses who are always ready and willing to please them and so they play it up quite a few notches for them because it's too much excitement to loose out on. So guys will try THAT much harder to sustain that. Sorry it's a hard pill to swallow but I don't make this stuff up. It's mutually satisfying for the OW and the MM he gives and so does she and they are happy but he cannot give her what she wants most and that is his 100%.

 

Single guys give their 100% they don't have to try as hard. It's not rocket science really.....doesn't matter if you agree with the theory or not, it's my theory take it or leave it.

[Tomcat33]

Really, simply put...no matter how you try to frame it, the OP, if real, which is getting more and more difficult to believe, is living a sociopathic existence. The sad reality is that there are people like this and no one should be condoning this type of lifestyle considering how many people they can and do hurt in the process.

 

I'm starting to wonder if stoning isn't a feasible alternative.

 

 

Yaaaaawn! your broken record bores me to tears.

 

When I have these discussions I hope to learn something out of the exchange but seriously Trial that same comment you made (is it 46 times now?) might as well add it to your signature and just post your signature every time...maybe if you repeat your mantra enough times you will actually convince yourself of whatever it is you are trying to convince the rest.

 

 

 

I'm starting to wonder if stoning isn't a feasible alternative.

 

I don't doubt for one second that left to your own devices you'd prob get violent over this topic. you are THAT passionate about this silly thread that you would actually get physically agressive...

 

did someone say something about sociopaths or something......I recall something......LOL