What do my feelings mean?

[hope1975]

if he asks why you ignored him just say you didn't mean to come across as being angry, but when you call him & text him & get no response, you feel like HE'S ignoring YOU, and that it's not nice to feel ignored by your friends or anyone you['re close to, just tell him you thought HE was ignoring YOU when you called, therefore you reacted in a similar fashion, without really meaning to.

 

I know what you mean about the frustration, it kind of eats at you until you feel like there's no feelings left.

 

Tim never returned any of my calls today, then finally at the end of the day we spoke & he said he didn't want a late phone call cos he'll be tired. I thought that was a lame reason. If you really wanna talk to someone, you're not too tired hey? that's my opinion, what do you think?

 

They seem to go through stages, Tim & Tom, one minute it seems like they're really interested, the next they act like they couldn't care less about us...wtf is up with that? is that typical guy behaviour? I don't know anymore, I'm totally confused. I always thought if a guy likes you, he'll pretty much do anything to be with you, but now I'm not sure....maybe it's a challenge for them too, and that's why one minute they're all over us & the next they back right off, as soon as they think they could have us....it's like mind games.

 

You're right, other problems aren't an excuse...we all have other issues, yet I still make time to talk to tim & most of the time when I have other problems, he's the one I want to speak to about them...doesn't go both ways though, & i'm like you...getting over it...maybe we should meet some new guys, what do you think????

[LoveLace]

OMG wtf is Tim's problem! That IS a lame excuse, to me. When you really want to talk to someone you don't care when or where. And you said it doesn't go both ways- I know what you mean; I won't hesitate to tell Tom about all my troubles, but he pretty much keeps everything lock and key, you won't find out unless you ask him. If I know about things going on in his life it's more because I just figure it out, not because he tells me. That I think is a guy thing, especially because they don't want to appear "weak" to a female, or anyone, in any way.They deal with stress differently...I wonder if Tim has something going on your not aware of, is that possible? I wonder if something has happened with that LD girlfriend of his? How weird that Tim & Tom's behavior is like, parallel these days! Yet we both still tell swear to each other that they like us! I was just thinking the other day, how I want a guy that goes above & beyond for me, and works hard to be in my life; neither of us feel that Tim and Tom are doing that!

 

My mother said I shouldn't have to be the one to move because of work and school. I have school through the summer too and on most weekends. So, mom said she'd help me with rent if I stay and Tom goes. Tom told me he was going to look for a house,etc back a couple months ago. So I called and told him mom's idea. Then he says no, he's staying and signing a lease after all, that he has no other options. Which is true he doesn't really have other options, especially this late into the lease. My next suggestion might be for him to get another 2 bedroom in the same complex, then I could stay. But the more I thought of it, I don't think I want mom's help anyway...I'm sick of her constantly trying to "help" me these days, cuz I already think she's going to use it against me later. That's a whole other annoyance in my life!!

 

So now he's staying, and I don't have much time for moving, plus very worried about my money situation while back by myself. So technically, we both want to stay, for different reasons. Technically, the only reason I want to move is because I can't handle him and his girls. If we were together, it would be much more acceptable to handle his kids, etc. It's almost silly that I'm only moving around the damn corner just because of jealousy...because even if I told him I love him, it doesn't mean he would change in all the ways that I would need him to. But I have needed him and have been grateful to have him for other reasons that I will now have to lose. This sucks!

 

Maybe when you talk to Tim again, maybe you can judge by the sound of his voice if perhaps he might have something going on- or maybe just ask him if he's ok...it's strange that he didn't return your calls like that...let me know beb!

[hope1975]

omg...I had a conversation with tim last night...again the subject of sex got bought up. So we were talking about sex & stuff, then in the middle of the conversation, his LD GF called and he had to go

2 seconds later I get a text message saying he's sorry & he'll call me back...and guess what?? he doesn't call back!!!

 

Have you talked to tom about staying on in the apartment with him? do you think he'd go for that? do you really want to move? or would you be happy to stay on?

 

I know what you mean about your mum helping you, mine does the same thing, she insists on helping me, but then i never hear the end of it, it drives me crazy.

 

I dunno if I should call or message tim today, I don't really want to but I'm curious as to why he didn't call back. we didn't really get to finish our conversation. There were other things I needed to talk to him about....I'll probably send him a text.

 

I've got to go & get ready for work..uuurrggh don't feel like working today.

 

Talk to you soon x

[LoveLace]

What a bummer! You were talking about sex and got interrupted by his girlfriend? Oh my gosh, that would be frustrating! It sounds like he felt bad about the interruption, and probably had every intention to call you back...but maybe his conversation with her was pretty long, or maybe after talking to her, he just felt guilty about calling you back to continue a sex talk! I still say something must be there, if you two are talking about sex. There is at least attraction there, for sure. And I don't think any guy would discuss sex with a woman that is just a "friend" if he didn't think about going to that level with her! Hmm maybe ask him just out of curiosity...does he feel like he's doing something wrong if he talks about sex with you and then talks to his GF right after?

 

This would have been the weekend for staying at my dad's place...but the forecast calls for thunder storms all weekend long anyway, so I'm playing the weekend by ear. I have a friend from college coming into town so I might meet up with her. Tom's daughter is going out of town, but I don't know if his other 2 kids will be there or not. In some ways, it would make more sense if we stayed there together. But certain issues would never change, like the subject of his kids being there while he's working or out...sometimes it bothers me, but other times not. It depends on how much homework I have to do, it depends on my mood from day to day. Last night was ok, all 3 were there but I actually had fun with them...and sord of felt more "free" to let loose because when Tom is home, it's sord of like you know, be quiet and don't piss him off, Dad's home so everything's gotta be his way. Other times, I get frustrated with the giant messes and the laziness that comes from all of them, including Tom. But is this the typical complaint of a woman with husband and children? Sounds like it, huh? I've thought that when we talk again, I want to say I don't feel like he's willing to compromise on some things.

 

But also, the apartment is small, especially for his kids being there too..they don't even have their own room, etc. With all those people in and out, I tend to feel closed in and overwhelmed..especially when I'm extra stressed over school or something. And I just can't handle the girlfriends. I don't like hearing about them, seeing them, knowing about them, I hate it all. As neighbors, it would be out of sight-out of mind, and give me more freedom as well. I've dealt with the financial part of living alone before and for several years...so I imagine I can do it again.

 

Otherwise, I'd love to stay with him. If he seemed more willing to spend quality time with me, and really be with me, and be more sensitive to my needs, really go after me; all this would have to happen before I could be happy living with him weather it's an apt. or a house. I endlessly wonder if he has never expected me to want more; I wonder if he hoped or thought that this would turn out a certain way? But right now, I feel like he treats the girls he f**ks better than he treats me...I hope the right moment comes for me to call him on it! We are supposed to talk more in detail about the moving so I'm sure it'll happen this weekend. I think the plan will remain for me to move, but maybe the conversation will bring more out. Who knows.

 

Yea, I still think we need new guys!

[hope1975]

ohhh lovelace i'm mad at tim!!

I called him last night & he said he'd call me back & didn't....uurrgghh second time in 2 days. I'm not impressed.

 

whats wrong with these men...even a courtesy text message would have been better then nothing.

 

it crossed my mind that he may have been feeling a bit guilty so that's why he didn't call me back after he spoke to his girlfriend. do you really think theres attraction there? I dunno, maybe he is just open about that sort of stuff.

 

what a bummer about the weekend...let me know if you end up going & what happens.

 

so you guys are going to have a talk about you moving? that'll be interesting...it may bring out some real feelings. Let me know how that goes.

 

I don't understand men at all...why say you're going to call someone back if your not...that annoys the hell out of me, maybe he got busy, but i sent him a text saying was he still going to call me back, and he didn't even reply to that...I think that's what really pissed me off...I can understand him getting busy & not having the time to call but he couldn't even take 2 seconds to reply to a text?? that's what gets me and yet the other night he was complaining that I didn't have time to talk to him!! I'm so confused

 

yeah I think we need new guys too

[LoveLace]

How ignorant of Tim! Two things crossed my mind. He realized he has feelings for you, and isn't sure what to do about it? Or, the GF of his made him feel guilty for having you as a friend...maybe he feels torn...you couldn't possibly have done anything to deserve this; something's going on here! Don't try to make any contact for a couple days and see what happens. If you were to stop calling him completely, he would have to call eventually. I am the type that likes to give people a taste of their own medicine....like just ignore him, too, if he starts calling or texting. But that's hard to do when your close to them, and when your itching to know why the hell they've been treating you this way!

 

Tom and I didn't see each other after Tuesday when I hid in my room and slept the night away. Friday night (2 nights ago...it's Sunday morning right now!) when he got home from work he acted happy to see me again. He started playing his video game, then I wanted to watch TV so he took his video game into his room. But 1st he walked over to where I sat on the couch, and bent to down to hug me, and I kissed him on the cheek, we smiled at each other. As he walked into his room he said something along the lines "love my (name)" or "love you (name)"....I am not sure cuz he was walking away as he said it. Later, he brought the video game back in, I fell asleep and kissed his cheek (again) before going to bed. I guess I didn't bring up moving because there's nothing to discuss really...the plan remains the same as of now.

 

All that's left to talk about is feelings!

 

He stayed up almost all night playing the game I think, and I layed in my room worrying cuz I heard him blow his nose again. I just don't know if I'm being paranoid or not. So needless to say, he was tired when he got home from work yesterday afternoon. He fell asleep on the couch almost right away. He looked very comfortable and I easily could have layed my head on his stomach. I did lay my pillow right next to him so my head was right by him, but not touching! I don't understand why it's so hard for me to do these things that I claim I want so badly? I want soo bad to be in his arms...so why do I keep holding back? I think it would weird him out. He finally got up and just went into his bedroom to sleep but kept the door open. I was on the phone with my friends making plans for the night. I didn't want to go out, I wanted to go in his room and join him. I went out, came back, and he was still sleeping. I slept on the couch. His alarm went off this morning for work but he didn't get up. So I went into his room, layed next to him and put my arm around him and tapped him lightly...I said what time do you have to work, and I told him the alarm went off. He had slept for about 12 hrs. by then! Then he bustled around to the point that I felt like he was trying to tell me to move or get out of his bed...so I did and he smiled and said bye but no affection as he left for work.

 

I'm going to call him later and see what he's doing tonight. First I'll ask if he wants to do something like dinner, but if he's picking the kids up, that wont' happen. But I need to set the stage for a talk before I explode. If I tell him about my feelings, would he start being more thoughtful or romantic? I wonder. People have said that by holding back my feelings, he isn't getting the chance to show me how he feels, or to make me happy, etc. But I'm scared to death to hear "I know, baby, and it's ok, it won't ruin our friendship".

 

Let me know when Tim finally gets what ever's stuck out of his as*! But gosh, I'd be tempted to say "So WTF is the problem?!" once I spoke to him again. But showing your pissed shows passion, it shows you care, so I guess it all depends on weather or not you want that. I haven't heard anything about "Tracy" and haven't even seen Tom on the phone with anyone this weekend. But he's off tomorrow...there's a chance he won't come home tonight if he goes out...

[hope1975]

oh no oh no oh no

i screwed up!!

I sent a text message telling tim that I was annoyed...then he started calling me, I had a couple of missed calls on the phone

 

we ended up talking & I got really mad...the more he talked, the more mad i got, which is unlike me & I don't think he knew how to handle it...usually he can talk me around but i just kept getting more pissed off. I thought he was going to hang up on me at one stage.

 

i ended up calming down & said i'm also under stress from work, which is true. But now i'm annoyed for showing emotion, like you said, that shows i care, and i didn't want that.

 

he kind of said that what i was saying was justified...i'm so confused right now....he doesn't have any feelings or attraction towards me, I'm sure of it. I wish I'd kept my big mouth shut, but I'd been stewing on it for 3 days & it ended up getting to me.

 

sounds like things are going pretty well with Tom, maybe now is the time to have a talk with him. I can understand how scared you are though, it's terrifying to put yourself out there & tell someone how you feel. What do you think his reaction would be? what's your gut feeling?

 

I honestly don't know what to do about tim, i think i should just forget it...his g/f will be coming out in a matter of months & i don't think it's worth pursuing...but i'll stay friends with him, cos he's a really good guy & he's done alot for me. It'll be hard though.

 

Let me know if tom goes out tonight and what happens x

[LoveLace]

I'm sorry to hear about your conversation with Tim. What was he saying to make you mad? Did really come out and say there's no attraction or interest? I don't understand why anyone would want to discuss sex with someone they are not attracted to. Especially knowing you've had feelings for him before. It doesn't sound to me like you "screwed up" though, honey. He's the one screwing up. I know that some guys are unaware that they confuse women...but geez, to call you all the time and talk the way you two talk, etc, if it's not because of genuine interest, what if he just enjoys the attention you give him because his damn GF isn't around to do it. I do understand why you want to keep the friendship though. When you've known someone a long time and have gotten close, it just seems silly to cut it off. Yet, we (you) have to be the one to get over the hurt and turn your feelings off, in a sense. It's B.S. There's that possibility the same will happen with me and Tom. But I think I'd be ok to get over him as long as I'm moved out.

 

He isn't home from work, so I'm guessing he's out, perhaps with Ms Tracy. I called him to ask what he's doing tonight and no answer. Then I needed a password for the computer, and he texted me back; if he wouldn't have, I was going to be very pissed. But now I'm down because I'm thinking he's out with a girl. When I see him next I'll ask what he did tonight...knowing what the answer might be...and it'll suck to hear about a girl...but I've gone from not wanting to know these things...to wanting to know. Look at all the chances I've passed up to talk to him about everything, or to make a major move. He probably thinks I'm happy lately because I'm moving, and probably doesn't think I want him, so he might as well keep dating or whatever. When I went to his room this morning to wake him...it was a good excuse for me to get close to him. I was practically right next to him in a "spoon" type position, with my arm on his, but he was wrapped tightly in his blankets. I wonder if it bothered him that I did that. I wonder if it actually makes him glad to think that I don't want him, because he doesn't want to hurt me. But if that's the case, why would he continue with the hugs, etc? I guess if he ever gets a vibe that he's leading me on, he backs off. It makes sense doesn't it?

 

Or do you think I am just rationalizing? Am I blind for not just realizing he has some type of feelings for me? And you know...I'm scared of rejection, just as much as I'm scared of committing. And there's now way of knowing if we'd be happy unless we tried it. Shouldn't I already think that I would be happy? Or, would his behavior towards me change if we were together? I don't exactly know how he treats a woman he's in love with. I do remember he bought a rose one time for his Ex fiance. I keep thinking he's probably a very sweet boyfriend if he loves you. There is now way some his behavior now would fly with me when together. The only reason I try to bite my tongue is because we're not together, so why act like we are and get mad at him for things? Things he isn't necessarily obligated to do, like return my calls from time to time. I mean, if he's on a date or something, why would he wanna call me anyway?

 

When he got pissed me several months ago, for basically disrupting a date he had over, I wondered if it was because he figured, if she doesn't want me, then it's wrong of her to ruin my dates! Or it's wrong of me to expect certian things from him, like telling me what he's doing, with or without the kids being here. How do I tell him I love him without actually saying that? Should I straight up ask him how he feels? Should I tell him I have this huge desire to be near him? Apparently making a sudden move is too hard for me--so I think to do it with words is my only option. Knowing that he sees other girls, that's why I hold back from spontaneous moves. I want explain reasons why it'll be hard to move from here. But I think if he really wants anything, he'd be willing to try us out even when we don't live together. So to me, moving is like a test. If you ever need to vent, anytime, I'll be glad to listen! But I think Tim is a bit of a jerk for leading you on; I know you might feel a bit on the foolish side right now. Just remind yourself he's the fool. Are there any other men you are thinking of pursuing more? If so, go for it. You deserve better than the wishy-washy stuff. But dammit the same probably applies to me with tom!

 

I'll let you know about the next event, whenever that may be. I'm scared because, I know that in telling him about feelings, that I might not be able to keep from crying. Anyhow, if I ever grow some balls, you'll be the 1st to know...thinking of you!

[LoveLace]

Might as well update you for the evening...I went out to avoid "waiting up"...but it's 1am and he still isn't home. I cried all the way here. I was filling in a friend about the situation a bit, while out, and the friend said "sounds like true love to me". And I couldn't help but laugh. Then I got into the car and bawled.

 

Part of me wanted him to be home when I got back, the other half hoped he wouldn't be here. that way, I can avoid confrontation.It's so much easier to pretend nothing's wrong. But he's out all night, hasn't called, he doesn't seem to have a problem with moving on or moving along, if ya get me...if he does have feelings, it sure seems that its easier for him than it is for me to put them on the back burner. I seriously feel like I'm stuck in a corner right now, like I can only go one way or the other, and I have to make a decision, without worrying about results or consequences...you know like your stuck in a situation that forces to think on your feet, if you don't make you mind up quick it could be a matter of life or death...of course this sitch isn't anything close to that degree...but you probably understand what i mean. Guess I'm going to bed and not even worry about what he's doing.

[LoveLace]

Major, major sh*t happened last night!!You may not be caught up just from my newer posts yet....but this couldn't wait!

 

Went to bar last night. I was thinking about him so much that I felt like crying. I came home and went to bed, he was STILL out....I wasn't drunk, just buzzing. But I cried so hard that I couldn't believe it. Just cuz I love em I guess, which isn't a bad thing, but I guess I was upset that I don't know how to approach it.

 

Brace yourself!! He comes home and at 1st I thought, stay clear! But I ended up coming out to living room to say hi...and he's looking at porn on the web...said he was at a buddy's house all night. So I start looking at the video clips with him and we're discussing what we like..he was VERY interested in what I liked..trying to make me horny and it worked. He mentioned he likes BJ's with a condom on. Later, I mentioned that giving it makes me horny. We're on the couch and he puts porn on TV! I didn't know what to do..but I have thought about giving a BJ anyway (cuz I know how much he loves it, which turns me on)..I initiated the whole thing and brought him a condom..gave the best BJ of the year and he was more than impressed. Then we hugged and I pecked him on the lips..but I kept it that casual cuz I felt a little awkward...there's more...

 

Earlier I said I didn't have any toys and he got an unopened dildo out of his room and gave to me. So after the BJ, he keeps watching more porn and is still all over himself! (Remember we've done it all before...it's just been several years...so I wasn't too uncomfortable). So then I thought of trying out the new toy. It seemed that he wanted me to but I felt silly and told him that. He suggested to do it under the covers on the couch. So I start to get into it even though I felt weird..then he finished his business, perhaps from watching me, so when he was done I just stopped too. Then we watched a movie and I wasn't sure how he'd feel about closeness after that..so I stayed out of intimate space. At 5am he said he was hungry and even admitted he wanted me to go get food for him! I said no way! So we compromised and he drove while I paid. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable so I held back on talking seriously. After eating, I told him I was going to my bed now and gave him a hug but nothing deep there. He stayed on the couch but he already moved to his room this morning since I got up...and closed the door.

 

It was fun but I feel awkward now, and dont know if we should talk about it, or just see if other things start happening. I feel a bit too aggressive for what I did...however it's obvious that he wanted to work me up, right? I find it interesting..that I've been dying to be intimate with him some way...and just when my feelings are the strongest, this happens. Has he been wanting to get closer too? But there was no kissing or anything classy like that...it was more like trashy but oh well! So I'm WAY horny today and don't know if I should tell him. I don't know how to act but I want to know what he's really feeling and wanting. It seems silly to discuss the meaning behind a BJ!! What do you think?...and can you believe this sh*t?!!

[hope1975]

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD!

 

sweetie of COURSE he was trying to get you turned on...FINALLY...YAY.

 

you're doing the the right thing, keep acting natural, don't freak out, if you need to freak out, get on here & freak out to me, but don't let him know that inside you're anything but calm cool & collected ...be a bit hot (if you're horny, let him know) and then back off a bit, sort of hot & cold, keep him guessing & he'll end up chasing you. I don't think you were too forward at all, it shows him a different side of you, that he's either forgotten about, or didn't know existed in the first place, he'll look at you a different way now. which is exactly what you wanted...YAY

 

He may back off a bit now, cos men tend to do that, but if he does don't let it worry you, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, they just do that sometimes. Just keep calm, & go with the flow....you know for sure he's attracted to you now, and from there anything can happen...you have the perfect reason now to talk with him...just have sex a few more times before you get all serious on him, otherwise he may freak out.

 

oh geez, you're so lucky...wish I was getting some...wow this is MAJOR!!! I was not expecting that!!!!

 

Don't ask him what he's feeling and wanting just yet, just have some fun with this for a little while...he'll come around when he's ready, you don't wanna scare him off.

 

I'm going to a seminar over 2 days with Tim in a couple of weeks...It's near where he lives, so I have to get a hotel up there. I asked if I could stay with him, but he said no cos his apartments getting renovated, and it looks like a constuction site..he said it's a one bedroom apartment...I didn't know what to say to that so I just said that's fine. he said he'd be on my doorstep bright & early though I don't know if he didn't want me to stay cos his apartment really is a mess (I do know he's getting renovations done) or cos it's a one bedroom place...what can I say to that? hey I'll sleep in your bed?? lol...I can't say that...he helped me find a room at a good price though, so problem solved.

 

I can't believe you & tom did stuff!! how exciting....wish I could make a move like that...hmmm, maybe I can somehow get tim to my hotel room...but then what?

 

Don't start talking about what happened with tom to him, just see what else happens..let him wonder what's going on in your head...it'll drive him crazy if he doesn't know, but he won't show you that, but I promise you it will.

 

oh i'm soooo excited for you...you'd better keep me updated:bunny:

 

can't wait for your next post.....

[LoveLace]

Yes...definitely the person he forgot about...I think he pretty much thought I was a lot more tame now than I was years ago!!..I was glad to have a chance to show him I'm still spontaneous!

 

The 2 day seminar trip might be fun! Geez why couldn't he just hang out with you at the hotel! Hotels are fun...but not if your alone!! But I'm glad you two have plans to hang out together anyway!

 

You gave good advice...you know "day after syndrome", worrying about what will happen the day after these things!! He was so sweet yesterday! He called me and said he was thinking about going to this music festival last night and I said I would go with him or whatever...I was like gosh now he wants to go places with me!! Later I looked up the festival web site, and he was on the phone with someone (a girl) saying "my roommate is looking it up right now..." but then I saw that it was actually over already and said "aww it's over!". Then he got off the phone, and told me it was a girl that he supposed to go to the festival with, but he was trying to get out of it, so she heard me saying it was over which he was glad about!! And he stayed home - with me!

 

He helped me do laundry, and when I said I was sick of our ****ty closet doors, he said right away, I'll fix it tomorrow. I wasn't even asking him to fix it...and he talked about how he needs to clean...I'll probably come home to a spotless place tonight...talking bout making it hard to move out...but we watched a movie last night...and I kept my distance. Like you were saying, it's probably not a good idea to talk about it or pursue other things right now...and I do want him to wonder what I'm thinking. I had to work today so I couldn't stay up too late with him last night. But as I hugged him good night, he kissed my cheek but there's a chance he was trying to kiss me for real, I"m not sure! He was so sweet...I just hope it escalates from here...

 

Friends are staying I should "still move"..well it isn't as though I want to change the plans now...but he's so helpful around the house (well, sometimes!), we'd be neighbors and maybe still mess around, date or whatever...and be financially strapped...if this all really goes anywhere, it might start to feel pointless to move...if it gets serious...gosh that's weird to think about. I'm dying for him to kiss me though, a real kiss...that could be it for us...I'm still in shock..and wonder what he's thinking but afraid to ask...and it makes me want more of him in every way...I still can't believe this has happened, especially as naturally as it occurred...I swear as I was performing my duty, I thought I love this man and want to make this as best as I possibly can! Maybe he realized it too! But now I want to be the one he's satisfying sexually, but I don't want to say hey it's my turn..I'm hoping it happens naturally again! I feel like I'm on a cloud but still on earth..ahhhh

[LoveLace]

Yea if somehow you could get Tim to stay in the hotel with you...invite to hang out with you one of those nights...maybe surprise him with some porn on the TV HA like my roommate did! Break out a bottle of wine or some kind of booze! Ask if he wants to play Truth or Dare!! Or bring cards and suggest strip poker!! he he..just some ideas!

[hope1975]

oohhh i'm soooo happy for you :D:D

 

sometimes guys act all weird the next day but it sounds like he's being really sweet!!...sounds like this is gonna go somewhere!! I'm sitting here with a big grin on my face!! i'm really really happy for you....i love that feeling of a new relationship starting, it's so exciting

 

guess what??? I spoke to tim last night & he said...start saving, you're going to America next year..he wants me to go over there to a seminar thing for the business. I said are you coming with me? he said no...I said you want me to go to America on my own? he said actually I might come with you, maybe we can even get a group together!!...so I'm really excited that I'm getting to go to america with him...maybe we could meet you & tom for dinner one night!! how funny would that be

 

we had a great conversation last night...he told me men like to feel as if their chasing a women & I need to play hard to get..not too hard though..cos I mentioned that I don't really think I want a relationship...I just wanna have some fun at this stage...he said something along the lines of I won't get away with that for too long...I got a bit confused...not sure what he meant, he said something about people will find it challenging...oh well, I'm not sure what he meant but it sounded like good advice. lol.

 

I'm looking forward to this seminar...wonder why he didn't want me staying at his place though...my friend said she doesn't think he's interested at all cos of that...what do you think?...could it be genuine that the place is a big mess cos of the renovations? or is that a BS excuse...I know there's work being done, but would a guy really let that stop him having someone stay? he is fussy about impressions & stuff, so maybe it is genuine...i dunno...plus it is a 1 bedroom place, like he said...if he'd said yeah stay with me, where would he put me? he's not the type of guy that would say yeah but you'll have to stay in my bed...he's not that forward....I don't know...what do you think?...as i said, my friends convinced he's uninterested, but she's also really young (20) so she sees things differently sometimes..tims alot more mature, what's your opinion??

[LoveLace]

I"m grinning too! Sharing the news with you was so exciting I couldn't wait! You called a relationship beginning...felt strange to read that! But it does feel like there's something developing...I don't know what my behavior should be like from now on, but I won't be aggressive, nor too distant, so hopefully thats ok. I suspect coming home to a clean place tonight, I swear I"ll give him a big fat kiss if that happens! Damn. I must give good head!

 

I thought about it and I should still move..because then the kids can have my room instead of sharing with Tom...we'd still neigbors, and it'd be easier for me study, etc. while living alone. And if things are going good we'll look for a house just like we've talked about doing in the past; by the time a year is up I'll be a hair from graduating nursing school. It sounds like a damn dream come true! It's the financial part that might keep us from splitting..we'll see.

 

Ok back to Tim! I think its possible that he doesn't want a guest due to the mess. I can see myself feeling that way. But the hotel idea had something to do with the frienship, maybe he felt staying at his place would be too awkward for 1 or both of you. I can't see myself taking a 20 yr. old's advice too seriously...lot less experienced! I think its obvious he wants to spend time with you but the question remains on the sexual part. And you said you don't want a relationship, so maybe he's more likely to fool around! I guess he meant that you can't "have fun" or play hard to get for too long because we're all expected to choose 1 person eventually. Hard to get is challenging, (for both sexes) but I know that with men, they give up after a while..they get tired of the challenge if your TOO hard to get. Your allowed to show a little interest, just not too much. And of course if your back and forth too much the guy will think you just can't make up your mind and he'll be frustrated.

 

But as for Tim, all I can say is try and get him to hang out in the hotel room for a while, doesn't have to be overnight...try to get a sex conversation going...if he can talk about it on the phone, he should be able to in person!! But I don't think his hotel idea alone just means he isn't interested. It's probably an alternative due to the mess and to eliminate awkwardness of where he'd put you, like you said! It's a lot easier to say "just get a hotel" than it is to say...um...you'll have to sleep here...I don't know if I"m really helping at all what so ever...but I do know BJ's help!!! ha ha...we'll be in touch darlin

[hope1975]

hahaha...I'll have to try that BJ thing on tim

I think you're gonna have to go with the flow & I think everything will work out...like I said, if he wasn't seriously interested in you, I think he'd be acting all weird & stuff, not being extra nice...can't just be that he wanted sex, cos he can get that from any of his young girls.

 

do you think you'll have a talk to him? or are you just gonna wait and see what happens?

 

I think you're doing the right thing at the moment!! Isn't it strange, I was so happy for you when I read your post about what happened...genuinely so happy, I sat here with this big grin on my face!!

 

have you done anything with him since? kissed or anything yet? do you think his kids will pick up that somethings going on between you two?....I'm so full of questions!!

 

I just had a great conversation with tim...I don't think he wanted to get off the phone to me. This seminar thing will be interesting. I'll ask him back to the hotel for dinner afterwards & keep my fingers crossed...believe me, if anything happens, you'll be the first to know...I'll even take my laptop to the hotel...that way if nothing happens I can get on here and whinge to you about it

 

keep me posted chicky :D:D

[LoveLace]

Now remind when the seminar is? Cuz if your taking your lap top I'll want to check in to see if you have any updates! Good idea to invite him for dinner. Will this take place in the hotel room itself or in the restaurant? Maybe you could prepare some strawberries and whip cream for dessert, fun to feed to each other!! I'm excited! It sounds good that you felt like he didn't want to get off the phone. Go with those instincts! You must not still be convinced that he isn't attracted to you. But I understand if your doubts pop up every once in a while. I'm still not convinced Tom is attracted to me, at least not a lot, maybe a little though.

 

Funny you asked about the kids though...cuz Mary was back last night after being gone for like 4 days! I didn't get home from school until fairly late. Sure enough Tom was doing dishes and straightening up around the place. I went into the kitchen to get myself some dinner, and I gently stroked his arm and smiled, and asked how he's doing, how was his day, etc. He smiled too as he answered, asked how I was doing too...but his daughter's right there...I felt like she was acting a little cold towards me..but she's wishy-washy and there are times I feel like she hates and other times I think the opposite. It seemed like we had fun at the carnival but over the last couple weeks I've felt like she doesn't like me much. I'm never afraid to debate things or tell her what I think, which I think bothers her...but I don't care! She doesn't do well with authority...gets in trouble at school a lot with her mouth.

 

Anyhow, I was only home a few minutes cuz my girl friend wanted me to come over and have a drink. So I did that and when I returned, Tom and his daughter were playing a racing game together. I hung out and watched for a little bit but I had to get to bed. When I got up this morning he was on the couch playing games still! I smiled and said hi. He did too, except he sord of looked at me and turned back to the TV quick, almost like he was being shy about it. Then I told him we have mail rent today and I had to leave for work. I do want to kiss him though. It's just that, I'd rather him do it and catch me by surprise. But I think in many cases, the guys figure if we want something we'll just get it. They don't usually realize if there's something specific we want to happen, ya know?

 

I'm dying to talk to him as well as kiss him, etc. Now that his daughter's back, I don't know when we'll get to be alone again. He will be working the next 2 nights in a row so I may not see him until after that. In the mean time I sit here and worry that he's going to hook up with some girl. I figured I could just give him a big long hug and hope for a kiss to happen...

 

Last night I was telling my friend that I never saw myself with someone homey and a bit anti-social like he is...but I've had it with the drunk guys...if I had a guy out at bars all the time, I'd constantly worry about what he's doing. She said she could never live with a guy like Tom cuz he's that way. And his EX used to complain that he was "boring"...and he can boring. But he doesn't drink, so why would he want to be like those who just wanna go out drinking? I almost feel sorry for him. He might feel like he has to charm these young girls all the time because he wants to be seen as "fun". Yet here I am and love him for who he is pretty much...I think he's began to pick up on it. But does it sound to you like he's being shy? I am too, though. What do you think he's thinking!!!?

[hope1975]

oooohhh what do i think he's thinking?? Probably how to make the next move, and wondering what he should do. He is probably thinking the same thing you are, and is a bit shy & doesn't know where to go from here...especially if he wants something deeper, cos if it was purely a sexual release thing, he'd be acting really cold towards you i think.

 

probably makes it even more difficult for him with his kids around. he might be really unsure of how to act.

 

Maybe you should gently try & kiss him next time you guys are alone. I wouldn't worry too much about him picking up some other girl...and if he does, you have a reason to say something this time...tell him you don't like it. But I don't think he'd do that...that'd just be mean.

 

pity you guys won't be alone for a couple of days, but it's not long...gives you time to plan your next move

 

I've gotta go cos I slept in this morning & I'm late for work, I'll be on later though

 

thinking of you

[LoveLace]

I'm thinking about waiting up for him tonight or tomorrow night...just to kiss him...or does that appear too anxious? Well, I AM anxious!! If I wait up, his daughter would probably be in bed by then, so....

 

It also sounds cool if I just go to bed instead of waiting up, and maybe we'll miss each other between now and Friday...

 

talk to ya soon..can't wait!!!

[LoveLace]

Well...didn't wait up last night, I was too tired; but when I saw him yesterday as I left for work, I told him I had to send rent off, so leave me a check later. When I got home last night there was no check. Before bed I sent him a text "can you leave check 4 me tonight- thx luv u"...guess I felt the need to add that last thing...he didn't respond and there was no check when I got up this morning! He did say his phone has been acting up lately..but its urgent that I get his half of the rent or my check could bounce...now I have to call him later today and bust his balls...he said his phone was fixed though too. Did the "luv u" part freak him out? I haven't exactly initiated anything lately, but only due to circumstance...I wonder if he's upset with me or thinks I'm playing games. Ugh.

[hope1975]

don't stress sweetie

"luv u" is different to "i love you" it's more of a friendly thing and I say it to my friends all the time...i don't think that would have stressed him out.

 

He could at least have returned your text though...it's so frustrating when guys do that, especially as it was so important. Maybe his phone was off or something..run out of battery..maybe he just didn't hear it...sometimes i don't hear my phone & I don't realise I've gotten a message until i go to use it...if his phone's been playing up though, that's more then likely the problem, even though it's been fixed, he may still have trouble with it.

 

you haven't done anything wrong, so don't worry about it...call him later & ask if he got your message & why he didn't respond...that's what I'd be doing

 

let me know how you go

[LoveLace]

Well I've called and left a voice mail with him today but I still don't know if his phone was not working or what...anyhoo, I probably shouldn't be playing around the "luv u"'s due to the current events!!

 

When is the big trip with Tim?

[LoveLace]

We talked on the phone yesterday about rent..I casually mentnioned I don't know what I'm thinking sometimes about living alone...and immediately says yes, we should re-think this!! Then he says we should talk about it over dinner!!!

 

I'm flabbergasted! The whole time we have lived together, we've never gone out to dinner together, or anything really fun. We didn't set a day yet..but maybe it'll be this weekend...

 

He said that he would leave me his rent this morning...and forgot yet again...I was fuming but I calm down when I think about dinner...does it sound like he wants to talk about more than our financial situation or what? Does he just want more BJ's!! I've been feeling nervous and excited inside...I hope I"m not interpreting this wrong..I told him dinner was a good idea though...

 

Thinking of you..until next updates for us!

 

Weren't we just saying we should find new guys 2 days ago?

[hope1975]

OH WOW

 

lets talk about it over dinner???? oh he's soooooo interested!! he wants to take you out!!! that's fantastic!!

 

I don't think you're interpreting it wrong at all...you give him a BJ, then he asks you to dinner!! if he's not interested (which he is) he's leading you on.

 

that's so exciting :)

 

Tim kinda pissed me off a bit last night on the phone, but i think it was more me then him...i just got in a mood. I still think i should find a new guy

 

but I'm so happy for you...that's so great...hope dinner is this weekend so I can get all the goss!!!

 

so which big trip were you talking about? us coming to america? or the seminar? the seminars in 1 week....the trip to america is next year.

 

good luck sweetie.....as always, keep me informed...can't wait to hear about dinner :love:

[LoveLace]

I was asking when the seminar is! But the America trip, how fun would that be if we could meet up and hang out! Do you know what part you would visit? I live right in the middle of N. America...maybe I could take a little trip to come meet you! How exciting!!

 

I'm so nervous about this dinner thing! I just figure it can't possibly just be about our living situation..after all that's happened..dinner must mean more for both of us...there must be more to him...we could talk about roommate stuff at home...gosh I don't even know what to think...as much as I've thought about it all, it's still so unexpected and weird! The guy I fell in love with 7 years ago, that I once thought I lost forever...when I started my job here 5 years ago was when our friendship rolled down hill and I was crying everyday...now it's my last year working here and I'm smiling about the same darn guy! The guy who joked we would get married 7 years ago...I want to jump up and down and scream but I'm hiding it!

 

You should definitely get yourself a new guy...I still think Tim likes you way more than he seems willing to admit. But he's got that GF and seems to be holding back too much and leading you on at times. You are so so sweet and you sound fun, etc, surely you can get any hunk you desire! Here's a short-term goal for ya...get a new guy's phone number in the next 2 weeks! Hell get 5 of them!

 

I'll update you...gosh the next post could be a biggy huh...