"I like you, but you are just too nice"

[luvtoto]

If you've ever been told that famous one-liner by a woman..."Hey! I like you but, you are just too nice"

 

Then, please read below...

 

When you start dating someone new, please quit trying to earn their love. If a woman decides to go out with you in the first place, then there is something about you that she likes.

 

You shouldn't have to work for her attention after she agrees to go out with you. Just say to yourself..."I deserve her!!"

 

Nice guys lack confidence. But, the only way to get out of that rut is to believe you are worthy.

 

Here is a list of some mistakes nice guys make too early on in relationships. IMO!!

 

In a young relationship (1-4 mo) dont...:

• shower her with flowers, gifts..or try to win her heart with monetary items.
  
• be overly nice and think chivelry will win her over.
  
• hug & kiss excessively.
  
• overwhelm her by introducing your curious family members to her.
  
• buy chocolates.
  
• write love letters.
  
• take up all her time on the phone or by seeing her.
  
• bring up any future plans.
  
• profess any kind of undivided love to her.
  
• give her your undivided attention.
  
• be a doormat.
  
• be only the giver in a relationship.

These things do not win a woman's heart or build respect for you.

 

I am not saying to never do these things for a woman you love later on when you KNOW that she cares. But give those things to a woman because you love her...not because you are trying to *win* her heart.

 

I don't know what everyone else thinks of my thread, but like I said...these are things that I find annoying when dating new men.

[alphamale]

i would take it a step further and tell men to be nice to her then be mean to her. then just alternate back and forth between the two. its the best way to string women along.

[Pyro]

If you've ever been told that famous one-liner by a woman..."Hey! I like you but, you are just too nice"

 

Then, please read below...

 

When you start dating someone new, please quit trying to earn their love. If a woman decides to go out with you in the first place, then there is something about you that she likes.

 

You shouldn't have to work for her attention after she agrees to go out with you. Just say to yourself..."I deserve her!!"

 

Nice guys lack confidence. But, the only way to get out of that rut is to believe you are worthy.

 

Here is a list of some mistakes nice guys make too early on in relationships. IMO!!

 

In a young relationship (1-4 mo) dont...:

• shower her with flowers, gifts..or try to win her heart with monetary items.
  
• be overly nice and think chivelry will win her over.
  
• hug & kiss excessively.
  
• overwhelm her by introducing your curious family members to her.
  
• buy chocolates.
  
• write love letters.
  
• take up all her time on the phone or by seeing her.
  
• bring up any future plans.
  
• profess any kind of undivided love to her.
  
• give her your undivided attention.
  
• be a doormat.
  
• be only the giver in a relationship.

These things do not win a woman's heart or build respect for you.

 

I am not saying to never do these things for a woman you love later on when you KNOW that she cares. But give those things to a woman because you love her...not because you are trying to *win* her heart.

 

I don't know what everyone else thinks of my thread, but like I said...these are things that I find annoying when dating new men.

 

Hmmmm., besides the chocolate, I would say that you about covered it all.

[luvtoto]

i would take it a step further and tell men to be nice to her then be mean to her. then just alternate back and forth between the two. its the best way to string women along.

Alpha! You aren't looking for a relationship with a woman. Those instructions you gave are "How to be a player".

 

I am talking about a guy that really wants to hold on to his woman.

[norajane]

Well...I like lots of hugs & kisses, I like chivalry, flowers and gifts, chocolates, and undivided attention when we're on a date or hanging out together...

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with meeting the family or with making future plans, either, especially closer to the 4 month mark...

 

And I know from the posts on LS, that many, many women freak out if they don't get calls 30 times a day from their guys...

 

So, I'd say it's a matter of individual taste for each woman as to what kind of nice behavior they like or want in the early stages, and what is too much.

[luvtoto]

Well...I like lots of hugs & kisses, I like chivalry, flowers and gifts, chocolates, and undivided attention when we're on a date or hanging out together...

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with meeting the family or with making future plans, either, especially closer to the 4 month mark...

 

And I know from the posts on LS, that many, many women freak out if they don't get calls 30 times a day from their guys...

 

So, I'd say it's a matter of individual taste for each woman as to what kind of nice behavior they like or want in the early stages, and what is too much.

Understood.

 

All I am saying is if the woman *wants* these things...by all means, give them to her. Use her requests as your guide on your next move.

 

But, a man shouldn't be the driving force in any new relationship.

[alphamale]

Alpha! You aren't looking for a relationship with a woman. Those instructions you gave are "How to be a player".

 

I am talking about a guy that really wants to hold on to his woman.

nope...they were instructions on how to keep women around. it works, trust me.

[luvtoto]

nope...they were instructions on how to keep women around. it works, trust me.

So, what types of things do you do early on in a relationship that is listed above?? I just can't see you being the type to call all the time, buy flowers or chocolates...etc.

[Pyro]

nope...they were instructions on how to keep women around. it works, trust me.

 

I think Luv is referring on how to keep a smart and well-rounded woman around, not the other type.

[norajane]

But, a man shouldn't be the driving force in any new relationship.

 

You mean to try to "make" a relationship happen or become more serious? Agreed on that. Forcing it - either by the guy or the woman - never works.

[luvtoto]

You mean to try to "make" a relationship happen or become more serious? Agreed on that. Forcing it - either by the guy or the woman - never works.

Yea!! Like *earning* their love by doing all those things. Maybe I am too simple, but it annoys me when a guy tries too hard to get me to like him.

[luvtoto]

Hmmmm., besides the chocolate, I would say that you about covered it all.

I don't know. I just don't think many balanced guys do that sort of stuff early on.

 

Most "nice guys" might not realize that fact. I am just wanting to tell them. Somebody has to.

[HeadlessZebra]

i would take it a step further and tell men to be nice to her then be mean to her. then just alternate back and forth between the two. its the best way to string women along.

 

Ahem - instant breakup. I've stopped dating countless men over this. The Jekyll-and-Hyde act triggers my flight response faster than you can say "Why hasn't she called me?"

[luvtoto]

Most "nice guys" might not realize these little facts. I am just wanting to tell them. Somebody has to.

 

Nice guys...do you want to know when a girl likes you early on?? When she is the requesting things from you. Wether it be her spending more time with you...whatever. That's the fun part for us! Asking and then receiving. Gives a sense of accomplishment when we get what we want from you.

 

Don't just hand things over to us.

[Pyro]

I don't know. I just don't think many balanced guys do that sort of stuff early on.

 

Most "nice guys" might not realize that fact. I am just wanting to tell them. Somebody has to.

 

I don't mean everyday or every week in those first 1 to 4 months. I think that a couple of times is alright and doesn't come off as needy.

 

Honestly, I would like to hear some testimony from some people on here who have kept a LTR or marriage together as a result of purposely treating their SO like crap.

[luvtoto]

no comment

[alphamale]

Ahem - instant breakup. I've stopped dating countless men over this. The Jekyll-and-Hyde act triggers my flight response faster than you can say "Why hasn't she called me?"

on the contrary HZ....my personal experience is that it makes women even more interested in the man. It works for me and I'll continue to practice it no matter what anyone says. Remember HZ...I used to be "nice guy" 15+ yrs ago and had few women.

[luvtoto]

nope...they were instructions on how to keep women around. it works, trust me.

I honestly don't think "nice guys" (which will be referred to as NG from now on..cause I am tired of typing it) know what you are talking about Alpha. I am just basically spelling things out for them. I don't know if a NG is capable of being "mean" to a woman.

 

I mean, Alpha, it sounds like you have your way of doing things down to a science. I doubt if you have ever been told, "you are just too nice."

 

Your way sounds a little "too over-their-heads" advanced at this point for most NG's.

 

Let's just take it one step at a time.

 

Note: I am not implying NG's are dumb. haha! I just think that they are bit green...or niave to the dating world.

[HeadlessZebra]

on the contrary HZ....my personal experience is that it makes women even more interested in the man. It works for me and I'll continue to practice it no matter what anyone says. Remember HZ...I used to be "nice guy" 15+ yrs ago and had few women.

 

Cool, glad it's been working for you. Most gals are irrational, masochistic and a little daft anyway, so I see how it could work.

[alphamale]

I mean, Alpha, it sounds like you have your way of doing things down to a science. I doubt if you have ever been told, "you are just too nice." .

Well not lately....but when I was in high school and college, females were few an far between. I think I hit my stride after I got divorced 10 yrs ago. I was 31 at that time. It all came to me in an epiphany. Much of what I learned was over time thru trial and error and since I'm smart I figured it out.

[luvtoto]

Well not lately....but when I was in high school and college, females were few an far between. I think I hit my stride after I got divorced 10 yrs ago. I was 31 at that time. It all came to me in an epiphany. Much of what I learned was over time thru trial and error and since I'm smart I figured it out.

I am sure it was a process to overcome the 'NG syndrome'.

 

So, I was wondering if the things I listed earlier is good advice to help a guy overcome his nice problems??

[alphamale]

I am sure it was a process to overcome the 'NG syndrome'.

I'll tell you sister, it was very hard and painful at times.

 

So, I was wondering if the things I listed earlier is good advice to help a guy overcome his nice problems??

yes but its basic advice. I would have to teach the advanced course personally and it would be quite complex.

[melodymatters]

...and quite expensive I'm sure need a shill ???

[Pyro]

So, I was wondering if the things I listed earlier is good advice to help a guy overcome his nice problems??

 

I would say that its great advice. The difficult part is for the NG's to actually follow through. NG's will only change if they truly want to change and that will take some time.

 

I guess that last sentence applies to anyone.

[Trialbyfire]

Acting needy in the short-term or long-term is bad for any relationship. There aren't too many real nice guys. I've found that guys like this tend to become themselves after awhile and it comes as a major shock what they're all about.

 

Just be yourself and if she likes you, she'll continue to take an interest in you. Otherwise, pretending to be someone else for the honeymoon period is going to get you dumped when you become yourself and stop showering her with attention.