LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Can this be turned around?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree228Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 31st December 2017, 11:12 AM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Can this be turned around?

Firstly, please laugh at the below, I might feel better if you do!


Tinder, I found someone I thought was attractive and apparently I had some appeal to. We move to Whats App and it quickly becomes clear she is looking for some "fun".


"Pick me up and we can go from there and I'll show you while you drive".


From being super keen I seemingly managed to turn her off completely. From "do you like big b**bs" to "ok lets rather meet sometime later this week.


This is plainly defeat from an almost certain win, part of me is really disappointed, part of me probably knows in person she wouldn't have wanted me anyway.


Do I try warm her up again or simply just let it be? Disappointing because as I say she I very attractive.


I just cannot seem to ever get this right.
ZA Dater is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:19 AM   #2
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,215
I'm not following. Did you meet up with her or not?
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:21 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
I'm not following. Did you meet up with her or not?


Now she doesn't seem interested in meeting up at all, conversation has dried up completely.


From "fetch me, take me for a drink, have fun with me" to no conversation. Honestly I think I am just stupid to be able to mess something like that up.
ZA Dater is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:24 AM   #4
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,215
Maybe she was high or drunk or expecting payment and something you said made it clear you weren't into pay for play?
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:28 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Maybe she was high or drunk or expecting payment and something you said made it clear you weren't into pay for play?


I don't think so money never came up, just not sure how I should have proceeded with this. 37yo, apparently lonely and wanting fun. Really great looking, feel like such an idiot, opportunities are so rare for me and seemingly every time I mess them up somehow.


She said later in the week but communication has just dried up so I am guessing she has lost interest.
ZA Dater is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:29 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 4,949
You'll have to give more details ZA, I am having a tough time following too.

There is a big snippet of conversation you are leaving out here.

Meanwhile I would think that she is either nuts or it's a scam. Lots of people are down for a ONS. A woman willing to get in the car of some man she never even met before though?? If SHE isn't concerned about that, then maybe YOU should be.
__________________
You'll thank me for saying that later.
Imajerk17 is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:38 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imajerk17 View Post
You'll have to give more details ZA, I am having a tough time following too.

There is a big snippet of conversation you are leaving out here.

Meanwhile I would think that she is either nuts or it's a scam. Lots of people are down for a ONS. A woman willing to get in the car of some man she never even met before though?? If SHE isn't concerned about that, then maybe YOU should be.


Not really, she then offered to meet me somewhere, then offered to meet on another day. The other snippet was all the x rated stuff.


Being NYE lots of people don't want to drive because things become a bit crazy on the roads here at NYE due to the sheer amount of drinking which happens here.


Basically feel she just got turned off by me for whatever reason.
ZA Dater is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:41 AM   #8
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,215
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZA Dater View Post
Not really, she then offered to meet me somewhere, then offered to meet on another day. The other snippet was all the x rated stuff.


Being NYE lots of people don't want to drive because things become a bit crazy on the roads here at NYE due to the sheer amount of drinking which happens here.


Basically feel she just got turned off by me for whatever reason.
Yes, it sounds like it, but without knowing the details of your conversation, it's impossible to offer advice.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:45 AM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Yes, it sounds like it, but without knowing the details of your conversation, it's impossible to offer advice.


What should I have done in this situation? I said to her lets meet, she said yes I then wanted to find out more about her and there was some banter but I think she wanted an "immediate" meet.
ZA Dater is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:46 AM   #10
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,215
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZA Dater View Post
What should I have done in this situation? I said to her lets meet, she said yes I then wanted to find out more about her and there was some banter but I think she wanted an "immediate" meet.
What was the "banter?"
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:51 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
What was the "banter?"


More of where, when, how, your place or and then I guess I dropped the infamous "I don't drink much" line. She mentioned she wanted to tease before we go back to her place.


Just honestly I cannot believe I got this so completely wrong. It'd be one thing if I had these chances often with people I find attractive but seeing as this was only the second one this year...


Just feeling irritated to be honest.
ZA Dater is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:52 AM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 137
Around here the conversation indicates prostitution.

Clearly its illegal and cyber crimes units are looking for the cash transaction type words and so coming right out saying it without drawing more unwanted attention.

That and people are just crazy. It may not even be anything you said or done. Just flaky people everywhere doing whatever they feel at the moment without regard to anyone else or their feelings.
Mr.Me is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:56 AM   #13
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Me View Post
Around here the conversation indicates prostitution.

Clearly its illegal and cyber crimes units are looking for the cash transaction type words and so coming right out saying it without drawing more unwanted attention.

That and people are just crazy. It may not even be anything you said or done. Just flaky people everywhere doing whatever they feel at the moment without regard to anyone else or their feelings.
I'm thinking prostitution as well, and the other guy she was chatting with at the same time she was chatting with you ponied up sooner than you did, so she went with him.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 11:58 AM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Me View Post
Around here the conversation indicates prostitution.

Clearly its illegal and cyber crimes units are looking for the cash transaction type words and so coming right out saying it without drawing more unwanted attention.

That and people are just crazy. It may not even be anything you said or done. Just flaky people everywhere doing whatever they feel at the moment without regard to anyone else or their feelings.


Look I wont lie, I did try flirt with her on Tinder because I don't normally get this sort of match.


She was receptive to it, gave me her number easily. I guess you might be right, might have just been some sort of scam.


I assume just leave it and go back the awful matches I get..
ZA Dater is offline  
Old 31st December 2017, 12:02 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Posts: 2,672
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
I'm thinking prostitution as well, and the other guy she was chatting with at the same time she was chatting with you ponied up sooner than you did, so she went with him.


That's basically the irritating thing for me, clearly there was another guy, look this is Tinder so I expect people to actually just use it to hook up but obviously I just lost out to whoever else she was chatting it.


Maybe I am just scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
ZA Dater is offline  
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Lost love turned emotional affair turned physical affair....similar stories? megamommy The Other Man / Woman 8 11th November 2013 2:40 PM
Have you ever turned psycho over somebody? aka how i turned into a creepy stalker... shadowplay Dating 12 10th December 2008 8:19 AM
Why am I turned off by so many things, I met a nice girl and her LAUGH turned me off DateAnalyzer Dating 32 15th September 2007 10:59 PM
Confusion in relationship turned friendship turned jealousy ladyjane Dating 0 15th May 2007 10:51 PM
lover turned friend turned HELL impuls3 Friendship 2 21st November 2005 12:52 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:13 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.