Ha...it actually happened...

[norajane]

You're making mistakes because you're unhappy in your relationship with Rhys. You know you're unhappy, but you can't bring yourself to let go. So, you struggle with that and end up doing things, making "mistakes".

 

You're working yourself up to leave him, I think. It's just a matter of time. So why not end it with grace now, rather than waiting for things to really get ugly between you?

[Road Rage]

Lovestruck234

 

Above all, you have to question your relationship to alcohol. If it causes you to behave in ways that cause regret. You may have a problem and should not drink.

[lovestruck234]

You're making mistakes because you're unhappy in your relationship with Rhys. You know you're unhappy, but you can't bring yourself to let go. So, you struggle with that and end up doing things, making "mistakes".

 

You're working yourself up to leave him, I think. It's just a matter of time. So why not end it with grace now, rather than waiting for things to really get ugly between you?

 

We both agreed in our last "talk" that when and if things end, we are going to end it in a mature way. It's not going to end ugly and we will both remain friends....

 

Of course, now that this has came along and scribbled all over that picture...hmmm....I rang my mum on my break about half an hour ago and talked to her about it and she told me that Dane's not going to go and blab, she told me that these things happen when alcohol is involved (I told her it's no excuse), and that it's not a good way for Dane to win friends, by hitting on someone's girl. She also said that if I were to do something like that to a friend, like what Dane had done, would I go and blab? I told her no, and she said that's my answer. Dane's not stupid enough to tell anyone cos he knows hes in the wrong, and that we're both in the wrong.

 

I think she's right.

[lovestruck234]

Lovestruck234

 

Above all, you have to question your relationship to alcohol. If it causes you to behave in ways that cause regret. You may have a problem and should not drink.

 

 

You're telling ME....why do you think that I don't drink that often? Actually, barely ever?..

 

I do stupid things...

 

I guess I just wanted to let my hair down for once and have a bit of fun. But I KNOW, you don't need alcohol to have a good time....which in this case, shows that clearly.

[johan]

My mum always says she wishes she could put her 44 yr old head on my shoulders...I wish she could too!!

 

Say goodbye to your modeling career if you do that.

 

But I KNOW, you don't need alcohol to have a good time...

 

It can really help though.

[lovestruck234]

Say goodbye to your modeling career if you do that.

 

 

 

It can really help though.

 

You always seem to know how to lighten my damp mood...

 

Thanks for the laugh!

[Touche]

You always seem to know how to lighten my damp mood...

 

Thanks for the laugh!

 

Frankly, I saw nothing funny about it. There are plenty of models that age.

 

But what was even worse was the alcohol comment. You have ALL the signs of a potential alcohol problem. The signs are there.

 

This whole thing is going to end badly. You're going to end up telling him about it and it has the potential of getting REALLY ugly. I'm a little afraid for you.

 

I hope you find the strength to end this with your pride intact somehow. It's the right thing to do. And how do you know this Dane character won't get drunk and admit all to his g/f? This could come crashing down around you.

[norajane]

We both agreed in our last "talk" that when and if things end, we are going to end it in a mature way. It's not going to end ugly and we will both remain friends....

 

Too late for that, sweets. You've already made it ugly...Rhys just doesn't know. Regardless of whether you tell him about Dane or not, you should stop seeing Rhys. You know you're on your way to leaving him; be mature and just do it now before you find yourself making more "mistakes".

[Bogun]

[quote name=But what was even worse was the alcohol comment. You have ALL the signs of a potential alcohol problem. The signs are there.

]But what was even worse was the alcohol comment. You have ALL the signs of a potential alcohol problem. The signs are there.

Ahh what signs? What young person hasnt lost control/done stupid things when their pissed?....and later regretted it.

 

Cmon lovestruck your about 19 or 20 arent you? Everyone gets with everyone at that age when they get drunk, and from my experience I havent seen too many serious relationships last when people are that age. Quit worrying too much about it. Yes you made a mistake but its no big deal.

 

Chance are you will not be with this guy in 6 months time, whether you tell him or not about your buddy slipping his penis into you........I'd agree with the others about that. The guy is a tool if he does something like that.

[lovestruck234]

and it has the potential of getting REALLY ugly.

 

 

POTENTIAL. Doesn't mean it's going to happen. It's always good to be prepared for the worst...but I'm not going to be sitting here going "Oh but THIS COULD happen" or "that COULD happen"...it MAY, but it MAY not.

 

I'm not going to jump to conclusions. What happens, happens...

 

Something my mum has said to me before..."You don't go and take pain killers just in case you get a head ache, do you?"

[Bogun]

wow I'm not even drunk and I made a huge error in my post.....I must be thinking about next week.

[Touche]

No, you're right about that Tess. But the POTENTIAL is great for an explosive situation given the history between you two. I guess you could just wait and see but I thought you might want to think about that and try to avoid the explosion. I suppose some people are more cautious than others.

 

And sorry Bogun, but you're wrong in my opinion about the drinking. Blacking out and drinking until you're drunk and sleeping with your b/f's best buddy is not something most young girls do. It's just not. There are red flags here as far as the alcohol is concerned.

 

Anyone can dismiss them if they want but I felt it only right to put that out there. Take heed.

[Bogun]

And sorry Bogun, but you're wrong in my opinion about the drinking. Blacking out and drinking until you're drunk and sleeping with your b/f's best buddy is not something most young girls do. It's just not. There are red flags here as far as the alcohol is concerned.

Then you are out of touch with what goes on with young people.

[Walk]

Hey Lovestruck...

 

Your story sounds a bit like what I did. Cheated on my exh with his best friend. Felt vindicated for it. Felt desired, wanted, valued, and appreciated with the best friend. I completely didn't care about my future, about tomorrow, about anything but what I wanted right then. In the same house while my exh was sleeping in the other room. Drunk.. etc. etc.

 

All I can say.. from my experience and hindsight, the best thing you can do for yourself RIGHT NOW, is to break up with Rhy's. You're thinking there's no rush, you might as well stay where its comfortable until you figure out what to do, right? Well.. those little feelings of guilt you have right now, they grow. What you're feelign is just the tip of the ice burg. You've unleashed something that you can't put back in the bottle. Both in you and in Dane. Do you honestly think he won't be back for more?

 

Things are going to go to shyt with Rhy's and quick. Your feelings are going to compound the problems you had before. The worse you feel about yourself, the more you're going to look to Dane to pick you back up. Which will cause you to feel worse about yourself. But Dane's the only one who will understand... so you'll keep going back.

 

And Rhy's is going to start to wonder... and his suspicions will grow. Your behavior will change. Rhy's will notice.

 

Until everything explodes in your face. And you find that all of the people you used to consider friends call you a whore and slut to your face. Rhy's will tell everyone what you did to him. Insulting you to friends, family, strangers you've never met!

 

You're bright cheery world of fun and games dissolves in to very lonely nights, and absolutely NO ONE will come within ten miles of you. No one wants anywhere close to the firery crash that was your life.

 

Oh, and Dane by that point will be telling Rhy's that YOU took advantage of him and forced sexual favors on him while he was passed out in a chair.

 

Basically. Save yourself the drama, make a clean break now. Make up whatever lie you have to, but tell him it's over and you're moving on. Then GO! Don't wait around thinking you're so smooth that you can sweep all this under the rug and no one will ever be the wiser. You screwed up. Own your part of it, take responsibility for it, and take action to correct it. Meaning.. break up with Rhy's and stop using him as your security blanket.

[Touche]

Then you are out of touch with what goes on with young people.

 

Uhm...I don't think so honey. She's SEVENTEEN! If she were my daughter I wouldn't let her be drinking let alone screwing different guys..but that's just me.

 

If you think it's fine for a young girl to be doing that then fine. All is well here then. No problem, right?

 

Sheesh...I give up.

[lovestruck234]

And sorry Bogun, but you're wrong in my opinion about the drinking. Blacking out and drinking until you're drunk and sleeping with your b/f's best buddy is not something most young girls do. It's just not. There are red flags here as far as the alcohol is concerned.

 

Ummm...I didn't sleep with him. He inserted his penis into my moo moo for about 2 seconds then he heard Rhys mumur something so he jumped up...

 

I was semi-passed out at the time. I knew he was doing it, but my whole body was dead I didn't have the energy to even talk...

 

Look, ok, Touche I'm not getting mad here but cautious yes, pesimistic yes. There is a fine line. You are being pesimistic. All these things that could happen, you jump up and say, but they might not as well...

 

What could happen is everything is forgotten about, I learn to deal with my guilt, Rhys doesn't know, it soon becomes ancient history...

[Touche]

GREAT post, Walk. BRAVO!

 

But Tess won't take an "aspirin before the headache that is to come" so it may have fallen all on deaf ears.

[Bogun]

my moo moo

 

:laugh:

[lovestruck234]

Then you are out of touch with what goes on with young people.

 

I'm not saying that every girl is like this, but I have to agree...

 

Touche, you may not LET your daughter do this, but they do it. It's happening all the time and parents are oblivious to it...

 

But anyway, enough thread-jacking....

[Touche]

Ummm...I didn't sleep with him. He inserted his penis into my moo moo for about 2 seconds then he heard Rhys mumur something so he jumped up...

 

I was semi-passed out at the time. I knew he was doing it, but my whole body was dead I didn't have the energy to even talk...

 

Look, ok, Touche I'm not getting mad here but cautious yes, pesimistic yes. There is a fine line. You are being pesimistic. All these things that could happen, you jump up and say, but they might not as well...

 

What could happen is everything is forgotten about, I learn to deal with my guilt, Rhys doesn't know, it soon becomes ancient history...

 

Ok, Tess..don't want to make you mad with all of my "pessimism." In my book it's called REALISM though...not pessism.

 

Also, in my little world when a guy puts his dick into my vagina for half a SECOND, it's called sexual intercourse. Why are you reminding me of Clinton all of a sudden. It was for one second and you were semi-passed out while he did it. You were also semi-passed out while you stroked his c0ck too I guess.

 

Ok, you didn't sleep with him. Phew? So why all the guilt then? I'm confused.

[Anka]

ummm, im a young person, and i dont act this way at all.

However, i knew and know people that have and do.

These said people have some deep self esteem and self respect issues, and most do have a substance problem of some sort.

This is not by anymeans normal or healthy behavior.

I think you need to break up with your boyfriend and take some alone time. Surround yourself with a network of healthy strong woman, persue some positive intrests, matbe further your education.

You will not find the kind of R or love you need at this piont because of your negitive, self demeaning behavoir.

You need to love yourself, and you dont. Your actions are selfish and destructive, you need to take control of yourself and your life.

[lovestruck234]

GREAT post, Walk. BRAVO!

 

But Tess won't take an "aspirin before the headache that is to come" so it may have fallen all on deaf ears.

 

No, you're wrong. I think it was a great post also....

[Walk]

I just wanted to say one last thing...

 

Right now Tess, if you're feeling anything like I did at the time... then you're almost feeling powerful. Feeling... uhm.. like you have full control over your life and that suddenly things are sharper, more focused and you OWN it. That you are calling the shots for the first time in years! Powerful almost..

 

That won't last......

[lovestruck234]

Ok, Tess..don't want to make you mad with all of my "pessimism." In my book it's called REALISM though...not pessism.

 

Also, in my little world when a guy puts his dick into my vagina for half a SECOND, it's called sexual intercourse. Why are you reminding me of Clinton all of a sudden. It was for one second and you were semi-passed out while he did it. You were also semi-passed out while you stroked his c0ck too I guess.

 

Ok, you didn't sleep with him. Phew? So why all the guilt then? I'm confused.

 

*Laughs* Oh my God, I can't believe I'm even having this conversation.

 

Well, in my book it's called pessimism...

 

 

 

 

 

Pffft, you know what? Call it what you want. I'm calling it making a mistake and learning from it.

[the_alchemyst]

Then you are out of touch with what goes on with young people.

 

 

This is absurd and offensive.

 

(This is not directed to Tess).

 

Being drunk is no excuse for going around and sleeping with a multitude of people. Yes, there are many young people who do this, but the append this behavior to alcohol is ridiculous. All alcohol does is release your inhibitions so that you may more easily act on things you would do without it; it just makes it easier, that's all.

 

This type of behavior come from within the person, not the alcohol.

 

And also, to assume that all young people who get drunk and behave this way is also wrong. Not everyone has the same standards.