living with a large person

September 20, 2006

what difference does it make if you love her and see her as your friend (to which one would never want to hurt a friend's feelings).

apparently, she is sexy even at a plus size (and that shows a healthy attitude) which goes VERY far in my book.

even gals that are stick skinny may not like the way they look... if she is happy with the way she is/looks, then you need to either accept it or leave her for someone else to appreciate her for her good attributes.

either get over it and leave her alone (never mention it again and compliment her often enough) OR leave her and find someone that physically is compatible with your guidelines.

it's that simple. but do not make her feel bad, as she doesn't herself feel bad. that is not your job in the world, to make heavier folks feel badly about themselves.

remember - the mind is a VERY sexy thing!

September 20, 2006

The average british women is a size 16.Im a size 14 and weigh 11 stone (154 pounds)

?!?!?!

I don't think that the european sizes are the same in north america.

September 20, 2006

?!?!?!

I don't think that the european sizes are the same in north america.

I think she gave you the conversion - 154 lbs seems right for an american size 14.

you need to quit lamenting over her weight or let her go.

i personally think you probably make her feel badly - and that you should no longer see her. this attitude only leads to emotional abuse and nobody gains happiness from that attitude.

ps - i am not fat, i am a size 2 in cali (yes tiny), so don't blame my attitude on me being overweight. just that i like to see people treated nicely and fairly... if they so deserve it...

September 20, 2006

Weight loss is really, really hard, and someone who has never had to lose weight has NO idea. She is asking for encouragement, and the very least you can do is be supportive. Tell her you see the progress, be nice for F's sake. What does it cost you? It helps her.

Or, leave her because you think she's too fat. The grief diet is awesome, and the next time you see her she'll be skinny, hot, confident and totally finished with you.

September 20, 2006

No matter what your shape, there's a man out there who will find you physically attractive enough to date.

Well I don't want ANY guy, I want to be able to choose. After all, I don't want an overweight person. Nothing against them, but I am not attracted to them. My husband likes thin women so I would have never attracted him if I were overweight.

Lucky you. I have been trying to lose ~10 lbs, for the last little while. But, it is tough. I'll look perfect if I do. But, motivation isn't kicking in for me.

Motivation has always been my biggest problem. Just eat a small dinner at e.g. 6 pm and when you get hungry before you go to sleep, don't eat or have some fruit or vegetable only. If you try to walk for an hour every day, it will help you lose your 10 lbs, too. The protein diet works long-term, but I don't like it for a long time as too much proteins are not good for your liver. But for one week you can try it and lose a few lbs without easily re-gaining them. Egg whites with one yolk for breakfast and a cup of fat free milk or a piece of bread. Protein shake for snack. Fish and veggies for lunch and boneless chicken with one potato and veggie salad for dinner. Eat some fruits before you go to bed. It's a fantastic diet if you are disciplined.

I'm not sure whether to laugh at what this thread has turned into, or cry.

Posters referring to the fact that they would be "perfect" If only they would lose that last 7-10lbs. then they would be perfect... popping pills in order to attain that "perfect" look.

The "perfect" refers to perfect weight. Unfortunately perfection is not achieved with lost weight only.

There are kids out there who are dying because they refuse to eat.

There are many more people who die from various diseases as a result of excessive weight. Nobody is talking about being anorexic. Hello, we're all people with 5 or 10 lbs MORE than we need, having a hard time to stay away from the fridge!

Oh, wait... we do idolize them and put them on the covers of our magazines. Pay them great amounts of money to show off the emancipated rib cages and the projecting hip bones.

Oh, c'mon, who said we want to look like that? We just want to get rid of fat and cellulite so we can put our mini skirts and heels on and feel sexy and hot.

This is about what I accomplish in life and reaching goals that are higher than what I can reach standing on a scale.

Walk, if you are happy with your body, whatever it looks like, that's great for you. But I honestly believe that all these overweight people, if they could choose, they would be thin, not fat! I can't believe we're talking about whether fat is OK or not when most people are disgusted by the image of them. My husband shows me some fat woman and says to me: "How can anyone sleep with her?" I tell him: "Honey, you're staring at this woman! Your type, huh? "

Whatever.. supposedly all she needs to do is pop some pills and she'll look like those models in no time.

Forget the pills! She needs to get her ass out of the refrigerator!

"
"A guy talked to me at the grocery store"
"This guy at the gas station was chekcing my boobs out"
"I need to buy new pants because my other ones are too big for me"

Hahahah!

:lmao:

Yeah, insecure people do that - they pay atention to everyone who looked at them by accident. That's sad though, but makes me laugh nonetheless.

September 20, 2006

Since I am not attracted to thin(ner) men, I would absolutely date a large man

~Lori

September 21, 2006

Well I don't want ANY guy, I want to be able to choose. After all, I don't want an overweight person. Nothing against them, but I am not attracted to them. My husband likes thin women so I would have never attracted him if I were overweight.

Motivation has always been my biggest problem. Just eat a small dinner at e.g. 6 pm and when you get hungry before you go to sleep, don't eat or have some fruit or vegetable only. If you try to walk for an hour every day, it will help you lose your 10 lbs, too. The protein diet works long-term, but I don't like it for a long time as too much proteins are not good for your liver. But for one week you can try it and lose a few lbs without easily re-gaining them. Egg whites with one yolk for breakfast and a cup of fat free milk or a piece of bread. Protein shake for snack. Fish and veggies for lunch and boneless chicken with one potato and veggie salad for dinner. Eat some fruits before you go to bed. It's a fantastic diet if you are disciplined.

The "perfect" refers to perfect weight. Unfortunately perfection is not achieved with lost weight only.

There are many more people who die from various diseases as a result of excessive weight. Nobody is talking about being anorexic. Hello, we're all people with 5 or 10 lbs MORE than we need, having a hard time to stay away from the fridge!
Oh, c'mon, who said we want to look like that? We just want to get rid of fat and cellulite so we can put our mini skirts and heels on and feel sexy and hot.

Walk, if you are happy with your body, whatever it looks like, that's great for you. But I honestly believe that all these overweight people, if they could choose, they would be thin, not fat! I can't believe we're talking about whether fat is OK or not when most people are disgusted by the image of them. My husband shows me some fat woman and says to me: "How can anyone sleep with her?" I tell him: "Honey, you're staring at this woman! Your type, huh? "

Forget the pills! She needs to get her ass out of the refrigerator!

Hahahah! :lmao: Yeah, insecure people do that - they pay atention to everyone who looked at them by accident. That's sad though, but makes me laugh nonetheless.

I agree here as well. Overweight is not attractive to me, but I don't think any less of them <-- (how do you say that without sounding bad?) as a human. I keep myself fit, and my partners has to be at least their average weight for their body size. Even if she was a billionaire, I could not force myself into that situation.

There are ways 2 keep yourself in check, and they are not that hard to achieve. I drink coffee and tea (curbs the appetite a bit), swim and exercise, and eat foods that aren't so godd**n bad for you. It's not that hard to stop eating triple egg McMuffins with extra cheese for breakfast in the mornings. Try eating some Sushi, chinese food (no msg), seafood, and lots of fruit and nuts.

(Or you can simply get dumped by someone you were in love with, that will guarantee weight loss)

If it's that hard to lose the weight, consider going on a Meth diet and your guaranteed to lose weight, along with evertying else you own.

Cheers!

September 21, 2006

Well I don't want ANY guy, I want to be able to choose. After all, I don't want an overweight person. Nothing against them, but I am not attracted to them.

Nothing at all wrong with being attracted (or not) to certain body types, but your earlier comment of "I think overweight people look kinda retarded" implies that you do have something against them, and implying they should take diet pills instead of simple diet and exercise to feel good about themselves is ridiculous.

I'm attracted to happy, self-confident ladies. I have nothing against others, but I do have something against the self-righteous.

September 21, 2006

Just my input here, however late it might be...

... I prefer males with a little, um, 'meat' on them. Anyone over say 6'2" and 200+, they've got the advantage with me.

-pde.

September 21, 2006

Zankon

Your gf may be telling you she lost weight because she feels your going to leave her over her inability to lose weight.

She may be telling you she did because she actually did lose some weight, and she's really happy about it. And she thought you would be too.

She may be telling you of the great comments she recieved because they really made her happy and she wants to share that happiness with you. Maybe she thought you would be happy to know others found her attractive or pretty to look at.

Or she may feel that the weight issue is driving you away from her, and she's clinging to anything in order to stop you from pulling away from her. Even lying about losing weight, just to gain some time for herself. She might be telling you about the comments because she wants to convince you that you shouldn't leave her, that others think she's pretty, so why don't you...

Personally I think it's the latter of these scenario's. I think she realizes how much her weight has been bothering you, and she fears you are going to leave her over it. I don't think she believes your compliments because then your actions/words say something different.

And I don't really believe (or maybe I just don't want to believe) that her weight is the real issue your having. I think it's just her mindset. The way she allows her weight to hinder her, and drive all the fun out of the relationship. And maybe if you talked to her about re-directing the focus of the relationship back onto having fun together and sharing quality time together it could curtail the comments she makes about her weight. Maybe explain that you're having a problem because the whole relationship has become solely focused on the numbers on a scale, and you want it to be focused on how much you both enjoy each other...

For me.. I would be most bothered by my partner feeling unhappy a majority of the time. I wouldn't care how they looked, but depressing people are not fun to be around... and I tend to withdraw from them. Maybe if you explained to her that it isn't her weight that pushes you away, its the unhappiness and insecurity she projects.

Plus, if she's constantly focused on her weight.. then most of her attention is going to be on herself. Which isn't very conducive to a relationship. You need your partners attention focused on you at least an equal amount of time. But I think the weight has become the major focus for both of you (at least it seems like it from this thread, may not be the case). Are you getting the attention on your problems, or your wants and needs, that she gets on hers? Do you get equal time and attention on the things that are important to you? Or do you feel secondary to the issue of weight in any way?

I'm just having a hard time believing that it's really her weight that's the problem. You found her attractive and desirable at the start of the relationship. If that has changed, then it probably isn't her weight. Maybe the dynamics of the relationship changed, and that's causing problems... or potentially you have changed, or realized at some point that your partner isn't quite the person you thought she was inside.

September 21, 2006

Nothing at all wrong with being attracted (or not) to certain body types, but your earlier comment of "I think overweight people look kinda retarded" implies that you do have something against them, and implying they should take diet pills instead of simple diet and exercise to feel good about themselves is ridiculous.

You must've missed the "I can't believe we're talking about whether fat is OK or not when most people are disgusted by the image of them."

I really like the post that implies it's better to "die a skinny meth head" (rooster) than, God forbid be ...Fat.

September 21, 2006

You must've missed the "I can't believe we're talking about whether fat is OK or not when most people are disgusted by the image of them."

I must have.

I really like the post that implies it's better to "die a skinny meth head" (rooster) than, God forbid be ...Fat.

Yup, I assume the rooster was being silly though.

Actually, when AIDS first became common in Africa, in some places they were calling it "slims" because the most obvious symptom was weight loss.

September 22, 2006

OK I announced the break up tonight... it hurts but I ll survive...

I can't deal with this crappy relationship anymore... a lie over a lie + all this ****. I can take the pressure anymore...

This is really weird because just 3 weeks ago our relationship was unbelievable

so much fun and laughter and ... whatever.

September 22, 2006

Sounds like you brough this "crappy relationship" on yourself then.

Maybe as an excuse other than "I can't look at her cellulite ridden ass anymore".

September 22, 2006

250 ain't all that much. But your scenario is pretty fantastical. Just because he was Mr. Magic man wouldn't negate my smallness, nor would it negate my fear of being crushed during intercourse.

Well, that's only really an issue with missionary, right? What about getting on top, that way you won't be crushed (and you have more of a "cushion" to bounce on!) Or you could try the "wheelbarrow" and other more creative positions

September 22, 2006

Nothing at all wrong with being attracted (or not) to certain body types, but your earlier comment of "I think overweight people look kinda retarded" implies that you do have something against them, and implying they should take diet pills instead of simple diet and exercise to feel good about themselves is ridiculous.

I'm attracted to happy, self-confident ladies. I have nothing against others, but I do have something against the self-righteous.

First of all, I answered the question that the original poster asked, which was strictly referring to our personal preferences. Maybe you think I shouldn't have been honest about it, but I disagree, which makes me self-rightious in your book.

I didn't say "overweight people are retarded." I said I think they look kinda..." Somone may think that underweight, pale, boney people look ill or something - it's their own perception. Not a fact whatsoever. Since when are we not allowed to express our thoughts openly when asked to?

Secondly, I NEVER said she SHOULD take pills. I said I took them and they suppress my appetite. Stress suppresses some people's appetite; it still doesn't mean they recommend stress. After all, I did state that I think consuming large amounts of unhealthy food (really, nobody gets fat from eating too much letuce and carrots ) is dangerous, too. Healthy diet is certainly the best choice, but if a person cannot be disciplined in it then being overweight your whole life is certainly more dangerous than taking these pills for a few weeks or even months. I haven't read any medical statement that points out that these pills are even worse for your health than carrying 150 extra lbs of fat for many years.

People smoke, drink, do drugs, eat junk food,a nd sit on their asses 24/7. That's all wrong, but we close our eyes to that lifestyle. Now all of a sudden weight-loss pills are the worst thing in the world. And we should be angels and eat healthy food... but we don't so let's be fat while we're discussing what's good for us.

Actually I do eat healthy food 90% of the time and exercise and don't drink anymore. I just need to quit smoking.

September 22, 2006

I would like to think i would but the chances are slim .I tend to date women i am attracted to and with me i tend not to find fat women that attractive but havig said that i also would date a girl cause she is fat.

September 22, 2006

I think it all depends on the person id date someone who was abit overweight.My boyfriend is abit overweight but no ones perfect.Im the right weight for my height and stuff but i have lumps and bumps that i wish wasnt there.

I dont think id date someone that was hugely fat though it would turn me off abit.

September 22, 2006

First of all, I answered the question that the original poster asked, which was strictly referring to our personal preferences. Maybe you think I shouldn't have been honest about it, but I disagree, which makes me self-rightious in your book.

I didn't say "overweight people are retarded." I said I think they look kinda..." Somone may think that underweight, pale, boney people look ill or something - it's their own perception. Not a fact whatsoever. Since when are we not allowed to express our thoughts openly when asked to?

Nah, I appreciate your honesty, just as I hope you appreciate my honest reaction. "Self righteous" though is when you think everyone else should think/be like you and you think less of those who aren't. Would you feel better if I said that makes someone kinda self-righteous?

The simple fact is that everyone shouldn't be the same, it would make the world a dull place. One of the most fascinating things (to me) about women is the wonderful variety of shapes and sizes they come in.

People lead by example, and part of my reaction stems from having a 14-year-old daughter. She's 5'8" and a little over 150lbs, and I'd be really pi$$ed if someone put or re-enforced the notion of taking diet pills in her head. She's a beautiful young lady, she's healthy, she's physically active (does field hockey and track,) and she's fine the way she is. I would not want her (or any other woman) to consider diet pills or other extreme measure purely for vanity. If they're 100+ pounds over-weight, it's time for extreme measures, but then it should be under medical supervision.

September 22, 2006

Well, that's only really an issue with missionary, right? What about getting on top, that way you won't be crushed (and you have more of a "cushion" to bounce on!) Or you could try the "wheelbarrow" and other more creative positions

I think I've stated before that being ontop every single time with sex is boring and annoying. Personally I like to change position at least 3 or 4 times when I have sex, and me being very tiny with an extremely overweight person would limit the number of sexual positions.

I mean I've had difficulty with guys who were of normal weight but whowere over a foot taller than me....so I can only imagine. I mean, shower sex is pretty much a no go for me because I'm so short. Unless I'm with a very short man.

Beyond that I don't find the overweight body attractive. Man boobs are not to be toyed with.

September 22, 2006

Man boobs are not to be toyed with.

:lmao:

I take it you're one of those skinny little things are you BO!? have to put a pillow under your ar*e before having sex with you!!

September 22, 2006

:lmao:

I take it you're one of those skinny little things are you BO!? have to put a pillow under your ar*e before having sex with you!!

Oddly enough, maybe from years of ballet, my rump is well developed. I am built like a gymnast. I tend to muscle up fast when I work out and I start to look like a little brick ****house, which is why I switched to yoga and occassionally pilates.

September 22, 2006

Oddly enough, maybe from years of ballet, my rump is well developed. I am built like a gymnast. I tend to muscle up fast when I work out and I start to look like a little brick ****house, which is why I switched to yoga and occassionally pilates.

* spidy suddenly has a craving for rump steak *

Probably a good thing sticking to the yoga/pilates, nothing scarier than a woman built like a brick **** house!!

September 22, 2006

* spidy suddenly has a craving for rump steak *

Probably a good thing sticking to the yoga/pilates, nothing scarier than a woman built like a brick **** house!!

Surely nothing would scare a Superhero?!

September 22, 2006

Surely nothing would scare a Superhero?!

Just the usual things:- Loud noises, confined spaces, heights, spiders, large women, the dark and mice.

I was only given the role because I look good in the lycra suit!

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living with a large person

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