Dealbreakers

[Walk]

4. Has not had a hard life or has not had to deal with great tragedy or disappointment

I find this ironic.. A girl who's had a "hard life" or "great tragedy" is probably going to have some hang-ups, some baggage, and some emotional problems. I know I do. And I've done some dumb crap in my life to attempt to escape from the reality of my life... like pot, couple one night stands... dated a real loser...

 

So you want a girl who's innocent and pure" yet has had a hard life and been knocked around a bit. Someone who's been tested by fire, yet came out unscathed?

 

10. Has had many male sexual partners. I don't care if they been with girls. But if they've been with a lot of guys, then I don't know if I want to be faithful to them. Use, abuse, and then dump

11. Has done or does do drugs

 

No room for error in your book, eh? You must've lead a charmed life. To never once slide off that high-shelf you've put yourself on.

 

6. Is a female-power she-man. Give me a demure, homely girl anyday. Someone kind of who is like Laura Bush. No Hillary Clinton for me, or drunk, obnoxious girls at bars!

7. Is plain without makeup

She has to be homely, yet can't be plain without makeup. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Geesh.

 

Definition of Homely: Not attractive or good-looking.

[stoopid_guy]

I would do what I would to anyone who has done a negative repetitive behavior - slept with many partners, done drugs repeatedly - I'd kick them to the curb.

 

Fair enough. I don't agree with you, but can at least respect your honesty.

 

Do yourself and any lady who might develope an interest in you a favor; Be just as honest and up-front with her early in the relationship as you are being with us here. If your attitudes are a "deal breaker" for her, it'll save you both some time and potential heartbreak.

[Pyro]

Druggies of any sort

Someone who can't control how much they drink

Someone who has no faith at all

Someone who is pessimistic

Someone who lacks empathy

Close-minded

Can't have a mature conversation

Overly-stubborn

Racist/judgemental

Has a hard time being honest and open with me (that should be a given for anyone)

Does not take care of themselves physically and mentally

Someone who has to depend on having a relationship/ too clingy

 

I am sure that there are more, but these are the most important.

[Walk]

This is a very similar type of argument that occurs among inter-religious debates - you're only broad-minded when you acknowledge the other sides' point.

 

Acknowledge is the key word in that. You don't have to agree, you just acknowledge that they have a valid point, that they aren't any less for thinking or believing as they do.. But that you have listened to their side with an open mind, heard the facts and theories, and based upon your facts and knowledge you respectfully disagree.

 

You aren't doing that.. you have no facts or knowledge. Your only thought is that you feel women who slept with 10 guys v 9 are sluts and should be emotionally abused and punished for their immoral ways. This isn't based on any facts or evidence.

 

 

I'm going to have my fun with these girls and then kick them to the curb. It won't hurt them like it would hurt a more decent girl. Heck, I'll just be another number to them.

 

You have no understanding of psychology do you? Your ignorance is shinning through. So callus and cruel. You don't even see them as humans, do you? Just objects for your disposal. Amazing that you don't see how similiar you are to the "losers" you so despise.

 

So after the first date with a woman do you break the news to her that you can't date her anymore because she has now dated "a LOSER"!!! haahahaha ahahhha

 

You're "deal-breaker" list is fear based... not logic.

[Walk]

Mr. SilentType pretty much embodies my ideals of "deal-breakers".

 

Closed minded

Judgemental

Hypocritical

Lacking compassion

Lacking empathy

Belief that he's better than others

Cruelty to others

Inability to see own flaws

[TheSilentType]

Walk, what is the great hardships in your life that makes you escape them buy using pot and having one-stands? I think you are just using whatever "hardship" as an excuse to justify very dumb and poor decisions. In other words, you knowingly did these things fully realizing they were not the most appropriate thing to do, and then later use your "hard life" to justify your actions.

 

What is the hardships you've undergone? Did you parents divorce? Things like that are not hardships in my book.

 

The type of girl I'd like to meet is someone who has to overcome a great tragedy or other hardship....something that definitely builds their character, such as being poor, having had a major illness at one time, such as cancer, or being orphaned or having a parent die.

 

 

I did not say I was perfect. I make mistakes, but I don't do them consistently. I don't repeat my negative behaviors to the point that it becomes habit. In most situations, I can forgive people for doing something once....but when it becomes something they repeatedly do, then it time to kick them to the curb

 

 

I don't want a ball-buster like Hillary Clinton. I want a more demure, "homely" woman like Laura Bush, someone who is a little more laidback and fits the feminine standard I have. When I was using the word homely, it had nothing to do with appearance. Homely more in the way that they carry themselves.

[witabix]

Sounds like you are looking for Cinderella, without the fairy godmother.

 

I have had this conversation with numerous people over the years.

 

Men are studs girls are whores.

 

Bull****.

 

My dealbreakers....

 

Lack of intelligence.

Dishonesty.

Unfaithfulness.

Emotionally distant.

Naivety.

Racism/bigotry/prejudice.

Sexism.

 

An unexhaustive list.....

[lindya]

Fair enough. I don't agree with you, but can at least respect your honesty.

 

Do yourself and any lady who might develope an interest in you a favor; Be just as honest and up-front with her early in the relationship as you are being with us here. If your attitudes are a "deal breaker" for her, it'll save you both some time and potential heartbreak.

 

You can predict what will happen though, can't you SG? He'll ditch an honest girl who admits to having more than 10 previous sexual partners....then he'll marry one who has absolutely no compunction about saying "I've only had sex with two other guys" when there are actually about 40 well endowed skeletons in her closet.

 

That's the problem for people who have a harshly judgemental approach and unrealistic standards. They often end up with people who just tell them whatever it is they want to hear.

[stoopid_guy]

You can predict what will happen though, can't you SG? He'll ditch an honest girl who admits to having more than 10 previous sexual partners....

(Sshhhh... And she'll be better off in the long run. )

[TheSilentType]

Riddler, Walk, and Witabix thanks for posting your list of dealbreakers. That's what I wanted to see in this thread!

[Walk]

What is the hardships you've undergone? Did you parents divorce? Things like that are not hardships in my book.

 

Well.. lets see.. Got rooked into running my brothers coffee shop at the age of 20. Worked 70-90 hour weeks ensuring the survival of the business and lived off of $100 a week for 4 years, putting every last penny I earned back into the business.. only to have my brother steal it. He then took several vacations to the bahamas and vegas (1st class) while I was left holding the bag while the IRS came and took everything I owned. Then I had them garnish my wages for 3 years after that until I was finally able to re-pay the money my brother said he was sending in every quarter.

 

Then I got married.. and found out that my exH was a self-absorbed prick who spent every dime on any toy that caught his eye. I lived off raman and food I could steal from work. I walked 5 miles to and from work every day and then cleaned door rooms after stupid young kids who didn't know how damn good they had it. but who liked to take a crap on hallway floors and piss in stairwells. And I got to clean up after them... and after working in well over 100 degree dorm rooms without any ventilation, I would punch out and walk home, only to find pizza boxes and beer bottles littering the entire house. My exH crashed out on the couch and his best friend sleeping in the spare bedroom..

 

Then I broke my back, went through divorce, and got denied for a promotion, and activated to go to Iraq during the worst part of the war. I've slept in my car for months, finally could afford to rent a small room in a house with 5 other people and I slept on the floor using blankets as my mattress. (while stuck in a body cast for over 3 months.) I've stolen food from work so I could eat at least once that week, and if I had a couple dimes, I ate tuna from the can or splurged and bought raman.

 

But really.. I actually think I've had an easy life compared to most. So I'm not entirely sure why it matters. To me. Unless you can't get back up. You've got it good. Because if you can still stand back up after getting a beating, then there's nothing in life you can't withstand. But those times you get knocked so damn hard you can't jump right back up.. those are the people I admire.

[stoopid_guy]

Riddler, Walk, and Witabix thanks for posting your list of dealbreakers. That's what I wanted to see in this thread!

 

Hey, I told you, chewing with her mouth open. You're welcome.

 

Because if you can still stand back up after getting a beating, then there's nothing in life you can't withstand. But those times you get knocked so damn hard you can't jump right back up.. those are the people I admire.

 

Yup, anyone who's been through crap but still has a positive outlook is a definate deal-maker. You don't chew with your mouth open, do you?

[Pink Amulet]

Walk- I am amazed at your hardships. I went through a lot at the start of this year (of which I am dealing with the ramifications) but I still have a nice house to live in, a car I don't have to sleep in, and can eat every day. I am so amazed at your self-evident strength. You have shed a new light on the wisdom in your posts...

[Walk]

Walk- I am amazed at your hardships. I went through a lot at the start of this year (of which I am dealing with the ramifications)

 

Its funny because when I look back at all that stuff, all I think is "Dang I was stupid!" Not, i'm so strong yada yada... I made some really stupid mistakes.

 

You know what's even worse... I truly feel (in my heart) that the absolute worst thing I went through in the past 9 years was putting my dog down when he had cancer. I would rather go through my divorce and a broken back twice, then have to do that again. *sob*

 

I really hate the concept of comparing ourselves to others. My 'hard' wouldn't be hard for some people.. It didn't change my life if someone else told me theirs was worse. So why do we have to judge someone on how "hard" their life has been? It was hard for them. That's all that should matter. If they fought through what they felt was hard, then I'm impressed.

 

Life in general is tough. And if you can make it through it without turning bitter and jaded, and still help others out when you can... then I call it a success in my book. So don't compare my life to anything in your life.. If it's hard for you, then it is hard. I might crumble under an incidence in your life, that you wouldn't even think twice about.

[Pink Amulet]

So much wisdom...

[Hitman10000]

Sweet list, you know what you want.

[Chinook]

The type of girl I'd like to meet is someone who has to overcome a great tragedy or other hardship....something that definitely builds their character, such as being poor, having had a major illness at one time, such as cancer, or being orphaned or having a parent die.

 

Oh dear God, I cannot even believe that I read this on a page. I cannot believe that you actually think this. I cannot even coherently reply to this. You have no fecking idea what you're talking about. I sincerely hope that cancer, illness, loss etc never befalls you because you will see what an idiotic, crass, insensitive, stupid ideal this is.

 

 

(EDIT: Oh, and before you ask, yes... I do know what I'm talking about)

[TheSilentType]

Oh dear God, I cannot even believe that I read this on a page. I cannot believe that you actually think this. I cannot even coherently reply to this. You have no fecking idea what you're talking about. I sincerely hope that cancer, illness, loss etc never befalls you because you will see what an idiotic, crass, insensitive, stupid ideal this is.

 

 

(EDIT: Oh, and before you ask, yes... I do know what I'm talking about)

 

I don't quite understand why you have a problem with this. What's so wrong about wanting to be with someone who has had to overcome great difficulties or deal with great tragedy?

 

I want to be with someone like that because I know they have a more humble attitude towards life as well as the resilience to overcome hardship

[TheSilentType]

Hey, I told you, chewing with her mouth open. You're welcome.

 

 

Lol....thanks stoopid guy

[TheSilentType]

Wow Walk. You've had to deal with a lot of really difficult situations in your life. That's a point for you in my book

[TheSilentType]

Sweet list, you know what you want.

 

Wow, atleast one person doesn't mind my list

[burning 4 revenge]

 

Perhaps sexually experienced women scare you a little. Maybe it's a little unnerving to contemplate what kind of judgements such women might make about you?

There's reasons for this. I know first hand.

[Chinook]

I don't quite understand why you have a problem with this. What's so wrong about wanting to be with someone who has had to overcome great difficulties or deal with great tragedy?

 

I want to be with someone like that because I know they have a more humble attitude towards life as well as the resilience to overcome hardship

 

And how pray do you know this..? Have you experienced it..? Do you know how it feels to overcome cancer...? Because I assure you buddy it does not build character or humbleness. Did you know that cancer patients have a higher rate of suicide than cure..? Did you..? No. I thought not.

 

Look love, until you grow up and gain yourself some "humbling" experiences... come back and then maybe we'll talk. Having an almost tick-box application for this kind of thing is almost sick. It seems to me that you're looking for someone who can look up to you, someone you see as a victim, as humble and cowed by life who will come to depend upon you and I pity anyone who has been through such hardships falling for this kind of thing.

 

Sorry but those who have come through those hardships matey boy would laugh in your face for such a viewpoint as this... just like I do right now. Oh and my hardships..? Well seeing as you don't understand lets see...

• Rape
  
• Financially poor family
  
• Loss of my cousin who I was close too (like he was my brother)
  
• Broken back - snowboarding accident
  
• Cancer - breast
  
• Divorce
  
• Redundancy
  
• Loss of a SO
  
• Loss of a baby

So err... take your childish ideals and revisit them because you need to do alot of growing up walking around with a viewpoint like that. Your viewpoint is unrealistic and crass. It is demeaning and insensitive. People who have come through such hardships do so because they have to... the choice is, there is no choice. It has nothing to do with building character or humbling them. It happens because sh*t happens. It doesn't make you a better or bigger person. It simply makes you different from who you were. I am not a person because of the sh*te I've been through. Cancer does not define me. I am the person I am because I am me... not a label or an experience.

 

Attitudes like yours make me feel physically ill.

[Chinook]

Did you know that cancer patients have a higher rate of suicide than cure..? Did you..? No. I thought not.

 

That should say a higher RISK of suicide. Apologies for being misleading... but I was a tad angry at the time of writing.

[burning 4 revenge]

Really, I think you guys are being a bit hard on the kid.

 

First, he says he does'nt like whores and everyone has an epileptic seizure. I've been burned by a whore, so I know exactly where he's coming from. Use and abuse ST, don't be the victim.

 

Second, he says he would prefer to be with someone who's been through hardships, because they build character, and you act like he's molesting children in wheelchairs.

 

I just don't get it.