What do women get from their male friends?

[noclobber]

I don't think you can relate to anything I am saying because you don't want a friendhsip with a female. You only see them useful as far as providing sex to you otherwise you see them as using you. Maybe you think women don't have anything else to offer but they are great listeners and companions among other things.

 

If you see this forum carefully you will see that its not just me that has this opinion... You will repeatedly see this fact being told again and again => If you are friends with a woman and spending lot of time with her and not getting any sex in return then you are being fooled by her.

[noclobber]

Can you plz tell why you would end your friendship with the guy friend after he expresses his feelings to you?

 

Is this how you treat your so called valuable friend?

[Fun2BMe]

If you see this forum carefully you will see that its not just me that has this opinion... You will repeatedly see this fact being told again and again => If you are friends with a woman and spending lot of time with her and not getting any sex in return then you are being fooled by her.

I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. If your intention is to have sex with her, you tell her this, she still continues to see you and not give you sex and you still decide to see her, then you are putting yourself in a stupid situation, allowing yourself to be used or whatever you want to call it.

 

If you are with a woman without the intention of having a sexual relationship with her, otherwise I would not want to be plain friends with someone who did and who was sneaky not to tell me, only later to cry to his friends that I am using him (makes no sense) then I don't understand you would want sex when you are with her with the intention of only having a platonic relationship. According to you (and I really don't care how many others who agree with you), men ONLY like to spend time with women they can have sex with. If she spends time with him without having sex, then she is using him. I wouldn't be spending time with A and B if they wanted to have sex with me. They have never in 11 and 7 years respectively told me they want to have sex with me. They have sexual relationships with other women. Please tell me how I am using them as I asked earlier.

[HokeyReligions]

I get some good laughs; confirmation about men's habits in general; I hear more good jokes before my husband does sometimes; help in understanding my husband's POV (ties back to the confirmation sometimes) because sometimes a topic or issue is seen more clearly when coming from someone I'm not in love with and who is not in love with me. My male friends say basically the same thing about their women friends. Kind of an 'older brother' or 'older sister' feeling toward each other.

[Fun2BMe]

Can you plz tell why you would end your friendship with the guy friend after he expresses his feelings to you?

 

Is this how you treat your so called valuable friend?

Maybe you don't see the difference between a sexual friendship and a platonic nonsexual friendship. Two people have to want to have sex for it to be a sexual relationship. Two people have to want it to be platonic for it to be platonic. If he wants it sexual and I want it platonic, then there is no friendship. It is two different types of friendships. My needs won't get met as far as being around someone who has no sexual intentions towards me, and his needs won't get met as far as wanting sex from me. It will be more of a struggle than joyful. If we are in a hotel room together, he will plot on how to "get me in the sack." Why would I put myself in that situation when I don't want to have sex with him? Why would he put himself in that situation knowing I don't want to have sex with him unless he is going to rape me.

[Pyro]

This thread can certainly give someone a headache. I am not sure what some of you are talking about, but it is possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex and not have any sexual desire involved whatsoever. What is so hard to understand about that?

[Moai]

I would tell him I feel differently and that we can be friends from there on out by phone and email only and not in person. I wouldn't want to be around him knowing his intentions are sexual and I am not about to return what he wants. It would be the end of the nonsexual friendship.

 

Exactly. And because you are this way, you are not a succubus.

 

It is possible for men and women to be friends, but it is also rare.

 

noclobber, there is a difference between a woman who behaves as Fun2BMe describes and the woman you are extracating yourself from. I know women like this myself, and they are great. Unlike her male friends, though, I don't get too close to them--not for fear of developing feelings that won't be reciprocated, but because I have so much going on and other avenues of emotional connection it just doesn't go that way.

 

The women that I am describing, and that you have been involved with, knows what she is doing and is manipulative. All women are not that way.

 

Also, if I read what Fun2BMe has written correctly, they aren't together all the time. Like same sex friendships, they have things going on outside of the friendship. They are there for each other, but give each other space, as friends do.

 

Fun2BMe, I will say that if you are remotely hot, they do want to sleep with you, but it probably isn't a burning desire that drives them crazy or anything. And by now, for them it probably would be weird so it is a non-issue.

 

I want to sleep with almost every attractive woman I see, but it is no big deal and I rarely, if ever, act on it. It's part of being a guy, and women are really fun to look at. What can you do?

 

The women to whom I refer are much different. They know that their "friend" wants them and they use that to get emotional support and companionship as well as company and yet they don't have to give anything of themselves. They want an "un-boyfriend boyfriend" and for the man that type of relationship sucks. There is a huge difference between friendship with a woman and dating, and it seems that these women can't tell the difference--except that they withhold sex. And yes, this type of relationship and attitude is very insulting for a man. "You're so great--but not great enough to sleep with" is the worst.

 

You avoid this by telling the woman right away what your intentions are, or making a move. If you get shot down, move on immediately. A woman who is together will understand and not want you around pining away for her all the time. A succubus won't be able to get her hooks into you.

 

Your willingness to be nice and not seem like one of those guys who only wants sex (which you are in this instance) is what gets you trapped.

 

If you have a friend that you eventually develop feelings for, that is a whole different story. It happens. And sometimes it can develop into a great relationship, other times no romance and you get over it and move on and can still hang out, other times not. There is no "set in stone" rule for that.

 

There is a "set in stone" rule for this, though: if you are giving boyfriend time and boyfriend energy and getting nothing, you are getting played. And you will know it because your life is hell, all the time.

[Fun2BMe]

This thread can certainly give someone a headache. I am not sure what some of you are talking about, but it is possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex and not have any sexual desire involved whatsoever. What is so hard to understand about that?

When a guy only sees a girl's usefulness and worth his time to be with ONLY if she can provide sex for him then that is why they don't understand that men and women can be friends without sex. It's sad but I guess that's how a lot of guys see women as. Fortunately their are men who are more well rounded who I enjoy having in my life as just a friend.

[Pyro]

When a guy only sees a girl's usefulness and worth his time to be with ONLY if she can provide sex for him then that is why they don't understand that men and women can be friends without sex. It's sad but I guess that's how a lot of guys see women as. Fortunately their are men who are more well rounded who I enjoy having in my life as just a friend.

 

its guys like that who give other guys like myself a bad wrap. It is always frustrating being somewhere in public and you hear woman talk about how men only think about one thing. I am glad that at least one woman on here understands.

[Fun2BMe]

its guys like that who give other guys like myself a bad wrap. It is always frustrating being somewhere in public and you hear woman talk about how men only think about one thing. I am glad that at least one woman on here understands.

That's a good point. That's why you always hear men are only after one thing. It is literally true for the majority of them as this thread has proven. If no sex they say, then move on, what's the point.

[Pyro]

That's a good point. That's why you always hear men are only after one thing. It is literally true for the majority of them as this thread has proven. If no sex they say, then move on, what's the point.

 

Maybe these type of guys are incapable of having just a friendship with woman, or they believe that woman are only good for one thing....Whatever it may be, it does bother me that so many men do think that way. It does not make you any less of a man to have a female or two as a friend. As long as the sexual attraction is not there, then what is so wrong about it?

[Moai]

Maybe these type of guys are incapable of having just a friendship with woman, or they believe that woman are only good for one thing....Whatever it may be, it does bother me that so many men do think that way. It does not make you any less of a man to have a female or two as a friend. As long as the sexual attraction is not there, then what is so wrong about it?

 

Nothing.

 

But it isn't just men who are only out for one thing. Hence all these people getting together and there being kids everywhere.

 

There is nothing wrong with moving on after a woman rejects you. It doesn't mean you are a jerk, or are shallow. It doesn't mean that you are only out for one thing. Most men definitely want sex, but they want a girlfriend, too. They want aspects of a friendship and the physical, too. Usually, this starts with the physical. So what? And if a man wants a fulfilling romantic relationship with a woman, approaches a likely candidate and finds that the feeling isn't mutual, why is he wrong for moving on and finding what he wants? It doesn't invalidate the woman as a human being or anything, nor does it mean he can't have meaningful relationships with a woman. It just means he isn't going to get what he is looking for from her.

 

His trying to be a nice guy and "prove" that he isn't just trying to find a partner, and the woman accepting this and pursuing the relationship she wants--at his expense--is stupid. It just hurts him, and eventually her as she loses a friend.

 

But two people who have no interest in each other sexually can certainly be friends. Why not?

 

I don't think that many men have much experience with this, simply because they rarely talk to women unless it is in the hopes of a relationship.

[noclobber]

Fun2Bme I am sorry!

 

You seem to be a good woman. My image of you was skewed b'cos of my experience with a certain type of woman that Moai has clearly explained.

 

You probably don't know my story but here it is in a nutshell. You can then may be understand why I am talking the way I do:

 

- Met a girl and found her attractive

- She was interested in meeting me and hanging out with me

- I complimented her and clearly conveyed my romantic interest when we had lunch for the second time

- She realized about my interests and said we are only friends

- I accepted it and continued as friend

- Nearly after 2 months I came to know that she had a long-distance boyfriend

- This really was the turning point in the whole story. I had to wonder why she never mentioned about that guy to me even once. For some lame reason I assumed that that's why she didn't want to date me

- We continue to hang out as friends. Travel together everyday, meet for lunch/coffee 3 to 4 times a week, go to movies, dinners, games, etc.

- She suddenly tells that she broke-up with her boyfriend

- I assume that the barrier is gone now and expressed my feelings directly

- She said she only likes me as a friend

- B'cos of the rejection I back-off from her

- She told "You are betraying me. As soon as you knew that I won't get physically intimate with you you are running away"

- We both fight bitterly and then get back together as friends

- She made sure that I don't walk away from the friendship again

- My feelings for her gradually wane off

- We both get back to how we used to be ie., meet for lunch/coffee 3 to 4 times a week, go to movies, dinners, games, etc.

- My feelings had gone but I keep wondering why she wants to be with me so much and yet say she doesn't want a relationship

- Peeps in LS say that she is "using" me as a pseudo-boyfriend

- I think about it hard 'cos I never pay for her, never compliment her, never be a shoulder to cry on, .... so in what way is she using me?

- I learn that just by being with her I am providing her with attention and in that way she is using me

- The attention factor makes sense to me as I just cudn't imagine a woman wanting to meet me 3 to 4 times every week and consistently for the past 8 months and yet not have feelings for me

- I come to a conclusion that even if a guy sees a woman as friends and spends time with her she can still use him b'cos she is getting the attention and uses that to stroke her ego

- I start to believe that b'cos of these complications "Men and Women cannot just be friends"

 

I am sorry if I hurt you... I didn't mean to!

 

Thank you,

NC

[Fun2BMe]

Fun2Bme I am sorry!

Thanks. So am I if I was harsh but now I can see where you get your ideas from.

 

- She realized about my interests and said we are only friends

- I accepted it and continued as friend

You didn't continue as a friend. You still had an agenda to be her boyfriend so you were not honest with her and possibly with yourself.

- Nearly after 2 months I came to know that she had a long-distance boyfriend

- This really was the turning point in the whole story. I had to wonder why she never mentioned about that guy to me even once. For some lame reason I assumed that that's why she didn't want to date me

She never gave you a reason why she didn't want to date you. It could've been in addition to having the boyfriend she was not attracted to you or didn't see you as someone she would want to be in a relationship with. The important thing is she didn't lead you on. She told you she just wanted to be friends. You misleaed her by pretending that was ok with you. I don't go into detail about my dating life with my male friends. I was devestated with what recently happened with a man I dated and spilled more info on LS than to people who I have known for years. My friends are not my shrinks in all situations.

- I assume that the barrier is gone now and expressed my feelings directly

- She said she only likes me as a friend

- B'cos of the rejection I back-off from her

She flat out told you directly that she likes you as a friend just like how you directly expressed your feelings to her. Again you make an assumption that she really wants to be more than friends but it was the boyfriend from keeping her from being your girlfriend. She never said that to you or lead you on. She flat out told you she only wants to be friends with you! Twice she tells you this so it makes no sense that you take this to be a rejection! She never said "I'd be interested to be in a non platonic relationship with you when I am no longer with my current boyfriend." Twice you made that assumption against what she told you and you took it upon yourself to take it as a rejection. I'd be so pissed and annoyed at you and tell you that since you don't know what it means to be just friends, even though you act like you do when we go out and you act like it, out of the blue you keep asking for more then when again I say no you get upset. Talk about YOU sending the wrong message.

- She told "You are betraying me. As soon as you knew that I won't get physically intimate with you you are running away"

- We both fight bitterly and then get back together as friends

I too would have felt betrayed. Remember earlier you asked me what I would do if one of my male friends one day told me that they wanted to be more than friends? I said I would cut all contact except maybe phone and email. In that case I would not have felt betrayed because AFTER being friends they developed feelings for more and told me so. In your case, you always had intentions of more while pretending to be ok with just being friends just so you can be near her because otherwise, just like me, I would not want to be spending time with a man I don't want sexual relations with but who wants sexual relations with me. My needs wouldn't get met and neither would his.

- She made sure that I don't walk away from the friendship again

Dam this girl is patient. She gives you a third try at being just friends with her!

- My feelings for her gradually wane off

I take it you mean your sexual feelings. Good, now you can really be friends with her like you have been telling her from the beginning.

- We both get back to how we used to be ie., meet for lunch/coffee 3 to 4 times a week, go to movies, dinners, games, etc.

That is wonderful. Now you are truly in a male/female friends-only situation. This is what she has been telling you she wants from the beginning. The difference is before you agreed while inside having another agenda of having her as a girlfriend without her knowing this.

- My feelings had gone but I keep wondering why she wants to be with me so much and yet say she doesn't want a relationship

Goodness. What part of friends-only do you not understand? When she told you 3 times she wants to be friends only, do you in your head imagine that that means she MUST want to have sex with you? She wants to go to movies, dinners, games and all the friends only activities you have been enjoying.

- Peeps in LS say that she is "using" me as a pseudo-boyfriend

People in LS who said that couldn't have been more wrong. She never said I want to be friends with the possibility of more. She never said she wants to be your girlfriend. THREE TIMES SHE SAID HONESTLY without leading you on that she wants to be friends only. Whenever you told her you wanted more AFTER first telling her friends only was fine, she felt betrayed. This girl is a saint for putting up with your double speak. You say one thing - that you agree to be friends only since that is all she wants with you, then get pissed off and decide she is using you because she doesn't want to have sex! I think YOU are the one using her. What is she using you for? If you do not agree to the terms - friends only that she is directly telling you -then don't agree to be friends only then flip out because she doesn't want to have sex with you. You go to the movies. Why is it that she is using you and you not her? I don't get it.

- I think about it hard 'cos I never pay for her, never compliment her, never be a shoulder to cry on, .... so in what way is she using me?

SHE'S NOT USING YOU! You are lucky she actually likes you as a friend after all that you keep doing to her to make it more than friends.

- I learn that just by being with her I am providing her with attention and in that way she is using me

When two humans spend time together - dinner, movies - does it make sense for neither one of them to pay any attention to each other, or both pay attention to each other? Why is it that she is using you when she pays for her self and doesn't need any boyfriend acts such as compliments from you? What are you giving to her that she's not giving back to you? Why is it that she is using you and you are not using her? I don't think either of you are using each other if you are going out as friends, paying on your own and it is CLEAR that neither wants to have more than friends. The problem is that you have a sneaky agenda that you have a fantasy that maybe one day she will wake up and say "now I want to be more than friends." She never has lead you on to believe that. You are imagining that in your head and making your own self feel rejected. If you don't like her as a friend only and want a friend with sex only, then tell her and leave already instead of making her out to be this monster, imagining in your head that she is using you. That is ridiculously unsensical in this situation.

- The attention factor makes sense to me as I just cudn't imagine a woman wanting to meet me 3 to 4 times every week and consistently for the past 8 months and yet not have feelings for me

The man I have known for almost 12 years, we have dinner or go out once to twice a week for the whole time I have known him. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. He knows this. We are FRIENDS ONLY. I am not using him, he is not using me. He doesn't feel rejected. He knows what the deal is. He doesn't ask me every time I break up with who I am dating that he wants to be in a sexual relationship with me. We discussed this once almost 12 years ago and that is the end of that.

- I come to a conclusion that even if a guy sees a woman as friends and spends time with her she can still use him b'cos she is getting the attention and uses that to stroke her ego

I honestly think and this is by no means an attack,that you yourself need attention to stroke your ego therefore you are assuming everyone else does to. I do not get what you mean that she needs your attention to stroke your ego. She has flat out told you in no uncertain words that if your interests towards her are more than just friends, then she does not want to see you. What part of that do you not get? If she craved the attention and ego she would not tell you that but instead string you along and keep you wanting more all along not disclosing to you that that is not a possibility. I think it is this whole ego/attention comments you have been making that led me to think you were a teenager.

- I start to believe that b'cos of these complications "Men and Women cannot just be friends"

YOU are the one who is MAKING it complicated! She directly tells you she wants to be friends only. You lie and agree that you are ok with it, complicating the situation when deep down you want more than friends only. When you later tell her that you want to be more than friends, she feels betrayed for having spent time with you when you had a different agenda that would clash with being friends only. Seriously, if YOU are not capable of being friends only with a woman, don't say that all man are not and that the woman who are capable of being friends only with men are using them. With direct and HONEST communication, there is no misleading and complication.

 

I hope what I say makes at least some sense.

[noclobber]

Thanks Fun2Bme!

 

I understand what you are telling.

 

Just in case if you are curious, I am not an American. I am from India, a place where dating is non-existent and a culture where women do not choose to spend lot of one-on-one time with a guy unless and until they have a serious interest in the guy.

 

I mistook this girl's wanting to spend so much alone time with me on a consistent basis as she being interested in me. I understand that I am wrong.

 

Just as an FYI - She also gave me the reason why she wouldn't date me. It's b'cos she can only marry a Jew or atleast a Christian (She is Jewish and I am a Hindu). This was the next day after I directly told her about my feelings and she directly telling that she only appreciates me as a friend.

 

This chapter is over... I have got my answers....

 

I am a liar and this girl is totally innocent!!

 

I completely take the blame... all on myself! I don't have anything else to say..

 

Thanks everyone

[Fun2BMe]

Thanks Fun2Bme!

 

I understand what you are telling.

You're welcome.Glad to help you sort this all out.

 

I can understand how your different cultural background contributed to the mixed signals, in addition to bad feedback from some people. In fact even American men can have the same misunderstanding as you had. When we want something or feel a certain way, it is hard to put ourselves in the others position. This can apply to a variety of situations. If a man is against abortion, it is hard for him to put himself in the shoes of a pregnant women who has to make a difficult decision based on a variety of factors.

 

Religion is a big deciding factor for some people when it comes to relationships. Some people don't put enough thought into it beforehand and once they have a child they fight on what religion to raise it. She has decided on what religion to marry into and is not letting her heart blur her decisions and relgious beliefs. I am sorry it did not work out for the two of you. I can tell you like her a lot. Someone more compatible will come along.

[noclobber]

I can tell you like her a lot.

 

Not anymore!

 

I will continue to be a liar if I still like her a lot. I will force myself out of it..

 

The one big lesson that I have learnt from this experience is the fact that an American woman can spend one-on-one time with a guy on a regular and consistent basis and yet see him only as friends!!!!!!

 

This was probably the one central thing that kept me going and made me think she was interested in me.

 

Good, I don't have to anymore!

 

Namaste

[amerikajin]

Women and men can be friends...under certain circumstances.

 

I can be friends with someone I'm not attracted to. Being friends with someone you're attracted to, though, is extremely difficult. The attraction is something that cannot be controlled, either; it just is. You can only control how you act upon your attraction, and the best way to manage that attraction is to avoid that to which you are attracted. Hanging around only invites a person to think about a romantic connection and to want it more.

[Mary3]

Don't delude yourself and us also KM....you know that 90% of your "male friends" wanted to slip you the sausage.

LOL ! And it helps if that sausage is attached to a great looking hunk of meat Yes, my guy friends are hot . Yes, they want me * smirk *. Yes, maybe I want them.

For me its all about going out with attractive guys and having fun. Who says they won't get some *dessert* later ? I know a few of you wanted us to admit that we like them in a sexual way and here is one who will admit it.

 

I can't say I have *unattractive guys* who I put in the friendzone. That would be a lie . I rather hang out with the good looking ones incase there is the potential of something happening later on down the road .

 

It really is hard for me to hang out with hottie guys and not want them. Okay I admitted it.

[jerbear]

LOL ! And it helps if that sausage is attached to a great looking hunk of meat Yes, my guy friends are hot . Yes, they want me * smirk *. Yes, maybe I want them.

For me its all about going out with attractive guys and having fun. Who says they won't get some *dessert* later ? I know a few of you wanted us to admit that we like them in a sexual way and here is one who will admit it.

 

I can't say I have *unattractive guys* who I put in the friendzone. That would be a lie . I rather hang out with the good looking ones incase there is the potential of something happening later on down the road .

 

It really is hard for me to hang out with hottie guys and not want them. Okay I admitted it.

 

I'm hurt, I'm in the friendzone.

 

no mary3 for me.... :lmao:

[noclobber]

This is my thread!

 

I would appreciate if you do your flirting elsewhere!

[jerbear]

This is my thread!

 

I would appreciate if you do your flirting elsewhere!

 

I'll put my male 2 cents in, since I got yelled at!

 

I was in your situation in college and got out of it. How by going NC and not talking to her 100%. The guy (or gal) has to back off 100%.

 

I did back off for months, thought I was ok with being friends and got over her; only to fall back into being attracted to her. Shared some circle of friends and even the same high school. Small world.

 

My suggestion is to back off 100% for your own sanity. Go LC of emails and VMs you delete upon receipt; otherwise you may fall back into being attracted to her.

 

BTW, she called and emailed me 3 months ago, so guess what they may come back years from now.

[kitten chick]

No offense but this girl told you that she didn't want a relationship with you many times yet you still blame all of this on her. Maybe if you listened to her you wouldn't still be obsessing over her like a year later. Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions.

[Fun2BMe]

No offense but this girl told you that she didn't want a relationship with you many times yet you still blame all of this on her. Maybe if you listened to her you wouldn't still be obsessing over her like a year later. Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions.

He has finally realized that she meant at face value what she said about wanting to be only friends. He was thinking she was wanting more because he wanted more and in his native background women only hang out with guys who they want to have a sexual relationship with.

 

But now he gets it. Just because someone doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship doesn't mean they have to also right you off completely if you are willing to be friends only. If you can't then move on. If you are ok with being friends only too then hang out and have fun. If you find that you can't, then don't blame anyone, say you can't and leave. Most people are too hormone driven and want sex with friendship or none at all when dealing with the opposite sex and end up missing out on having some amazing people in their lives.

 

And it's sad how everyone seems to think that the only reason why someone doesn't want to have a sexual relationship with someone results from a lack of physical attraction and attractiveness. In the OP's case the girl wanted to be with someone of her same religion. In my case, it has been that the man didn't want to have children and I did, among other reasons therefore we ended up being friends. Even the OP thought it had to be that either I was ugly or the friend was gay. Grow up people. There are millions of male and female friendships. Keep in mind that each of the parties involved in the friendship have a life outside of it which includes dating and having sex with someone else. And yes each of the friends can be hot as hell, but they think with their heads not their hormones and realize a sexual relationship is not right for them. It's not like they are deprived of their needs. Instead they satisfy those associated with friendships.

[Walk]

For all the people on here attacking noclobber: Stop.

 

The woman lead him on hard core. She took his gifts, she BEGGED him constantly to come see her, to spend time with her. She completely ignored his request for no contact. She refused to respect him enough to allow him the time to get over his strong feelings for her even after he told her how he felt. SHE REFUSED to honor his requests, completely manipulated him, led him on and then laughed in his face when he assumed she wanted him for more then friends. She accepted his gifts even knowing his true feelings. She continued to demand he meet with her. Go out with her. Threw fits if he didn't make time for her. This women he is talking about is evil. Do NOT assume that she is like you are, or that his extremely simplified version of the story is the Full story.

 

No matter how hard noclobber attempted to distance himself from her, she sucked him back in. He is NOT AT FAULT for assuming she wanted more then friendship!!!!!

 

Why don't you explain how she begged you to move with her. How right after you told her how you felt about her, and she slapped you down, how she then called demanding you meet her for lunch the next day, even though you'd asked for space. She can't give you even half a DAY without calling and emailing and demanding you respond to her. Throwing a fit if you didn't immediate agree to do whatever thing she decided you should do with her.

 

No clobber is not at fault here. She did lead him on, and she's still playing him. That is why he's so confused on this subject. HE was completely honest and upfront with this women from the get go. They were "just friends" after he found out she had a bf. He did NOT do anything improper in the situation, but this girl has crossed every boundary he has asked her to respect.

 

Don't tag him as the bad guy.