whichwayisup Posted November 13, 2005 Share Posted November 13, 2005 Desire is truly irrational. Exactly... And even if he says "yes" to me thats a sign of interest, and i can always phone him back and say "look sorry cant meet up for coffee, something else has come up" Again, I have to point out...The Ego. If someone did that to you - Just to find out if you were interested in them, then cancel - Why even bother? Ego...That's immature and a very highschool thing to do... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 13, 2005 Share Posted November 13, 2005 Desire may be irrational (you do realize you're repeating yourself?) but we also have brains which can be used to override the irrationality of the desire. Sure you want someone, but you also want too many fries and to not go to work and all sorts of things that you don't let yourself do. It's bogus to pretend you cannot control this. She absolutely can - but will she choose to? As someone once said, it's not like you trip and your naked vagina lands on his penis. Having an affair is a series of choices that a person makes. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 13, 2005 Share Posted November 13, 2005 Desire may be irrational (you do realize you're repeating yourself?) As someone once said, it's not like you trip and your naked vagina lands on his penis. Having an affair is a series of choices that a person makes. I'm sure he's aware...It's intentional... Just like in that movie The Last Boyscout. The wife cheats on Bruce Willis in the movie, he says,"An accident??????? Like he tripped and OOPS his penis fell into your vagina?" (Not sure if that is the exact quote, but close enough) Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 Hmmm, now i am confused again as to what to do. Looks as though Mr Dentist didnt do a very good job with one of my fillings, its only just over a week old and its causing me pain:( It started yesterday and has been getting worse, i've been trying to avoid calling him to tell him, but the pain is worsening and getting more annoying. Do I call him at work and tell the receptionist? Or do i ask to speak to him? Or do i call his mobile or send a text message on his mobile telling him whats happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 I'd call a DIFFERENT dentist. He doesn't sound all that competent, really. But if you still want to go to him do call the receptionist. Of course you don't text him or call his cell...totally inaproprate. Please consider switching dentists though for your own good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 COCO - its hard for me to just move dentists and its not just because i like him. I have a real phobia of needles and everything he has done for me he has organised an anetheatist to be there to sedate me orally first, not many dentists where i am would go through that, i am having a lot of work done on my teeth and have a couple more sessions to go which are already paid for, his work and the anetheatist, if i pull the plug now i'll lose the money i have already paid. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 I understand. Then you should just go the normal route like a normal patient would..through his office. You know if you REALLY wanted to you could ask him for a recommendatin and tell him that for personal reasons you need to switch dentists. I'm sure he'd refund the money. I once had to tell a client that I thought it was getting too personal..I mean the conversations we were having were not about business. It was almost crossing the line. My client apologized. Said I was right and that he'd stop. This guy knows that he's gone over the line. He won't be surprised if you approach him with this request and will refund your money. But you don't want to do that. You know he's not the only dentist who could do those things for you. He can recommend someone. But I have a hunch you're going to learn this particular life lesson the hard way. It's a shame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 COCO - Do u really think he has already "crossed the line"? I am going to call the office now and let his receptionist know about the filling starting to cause me pain.... When I went in on the Sunday after he filled my teeth, he asked me if it was ok to call during the week to see how I was, he never called but got his receptionist to do, i told her all was fine and she said she would let him know i am ok. Havent heard from him since:( Normally when he wants me, as in to arrange stuff, he calls personally on my mobile and never lets the receptionist arrange appointments etc.....is this normal?? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 Hmmm, now i am confused again as to what to do. Looks as though Mr Dentist didnt do a very good job with one of my fillings, its only just over a week old and its causing me pain:( It started yesterday and has been getting worse, i've been trying to avoid calling him to tell him, but the pain is worsening and getting more annoying. Do I call him at work and tell the receptionist? Or do i ask to speak to him? Or do i call his mobile or send a text message on his mobile telling him whats happened. See, because now the lines have been crossed, you feel uncomfortable. Any regular dentist - Meaning if you had a "normal" patient, doctor relationship you wouldn't even BE considering calling him or text messaging him. Book an appointment like everybody else. Call the receptionist! DO you think now you'll be getting "special" treatment on the side because you have the hots for him and he's flirting with you? Sorry if I'm coming across harsh... It shouldn't be that confusing...If you are in pain and there is a problem with your filling - CALL! Or go to an emergency dentistry after hours clinic! I have dental phobia too, big time! Do some research in other dentists who specialize in helping fearful patients. They're all over the place, not just this one guy! I hope you understand the situation you're in now...Fast forward 4 months. SAY IF... You two end up in bed or whatever....A fight happens....He's not talking to you.....Hypothecially - A tooth hurts and needs to be looked at asap! What do you do? Call him and book an appointment? Would you trust him inside your mouth knowing he's pissed off at you? I certainly wouldn't. All comes down to ... Again ... The lines have been crossed. You need to find another dentist and leave this man alone. I think you know this in your heart but you're refusing to open your eyes and see the whole picture! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 Normally when he wants me, as in to arrange stuff, he calls personally on my mobile and never lets the receptionist arrange appointments etc.....is this normal?? If he stopped his personal calls, he has probably picked up on your over-eagerness (regardless of how subtle it is - if a MM sees a potential threat he will not pursue any further) and decided that it was not worth the risk. Or, he simply decided on his own that it wasn't a good idea, or he had another OW he was messing with, or ... whatever. Regardless, take this opportunity to walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 is this normal?? NO! It isn't normal for a dentist to give his patients his cell phone number... Especially in the situation now that is growing and has potiental to move into another phase. I don't understand why you can't see this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 whichwayisup - he works in a clinic that is part owned by his brother and the brother's wife, and they all give out their mobile number to patients in case of an "emergency" Its not like he gave it to me personally, its on their business cards and also if u call the clinic after hours they have a recorded messgae giving you all the dentists numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 I am on the phone with the clinic now, i am on hold - help should i ask to speak to him directly? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 Mandy, I don't really have anything to add to the last few posts here. I agree completely. He did cross a line. No question about that. And I agree that it sounds like he realized that and picked up on something with you. Please remember, he's MARRIED. That means he's not free to date. He has a wife. He probably got scared and is now going back to being the professional he should have been all along. Never in my life have I heard of a dentist getting that personal with texts and cell phone number being given out. I don't care how extensive the work involved is. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 I am on the phone with the clinic now, i am on hold - help should i ask to speak to him directly? Is this a joke? It's got to be! Of course you don't speak to him directly! Sheesh....I give up on this one! Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 Just got off the phone, told the receptionist about the pain and she said there wasnt a lot she could do as i am scared of needles, the best she can tell me to do is take some pain killers and wait until my next appointment(2 weeks) when they can correct whatever has gone wrong while i am under sedation again, she took my details and said she would talk to "him" and see it he had any other suggestions...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 I know i may seem blind but in my eyes, i cant really see that he has "crossed the line" as he hasnt really done anything?? I mean the worst he has done is being caring about me, boosting my confidence by telling me how much he admires me with the way i am dealing with my illness that no one has been able to help me with. Another thing is we're on first name basis, when he calls he always uses his first name and NEVER Dr - is this anything abnormal?? Link to post Share on other sites
CherokeeTeaRose Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 You really do. You have displayed some very obsessive behavior. You are actively obsessing about this guy and it is not healthy. You need counseling to figure out what the problem is. If I was this Dr. and read this forum I'd be scared of you (ie et al Fatal Attraction). I'm not trying to be mean but it is not healthy to actively obsess so much. Sure have a crush, sure have a fantasy, but to sit and detail everything and wonder about everything is just downright unhealthy. Seek help. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 I know i may seem blind but in my eyes, i cant really see that he has "crossed the line" as he hasnt really done anything?? I mean the worst he has done is being caring about me, boosting my confidence by telling me how much he admires me with the way i am dealing with my illness that no one has been able to help me with. Another thing is we're on first name basis, when he calls he always uses his first name and NEVER Dr - is this anything abnormal?? Okay, this is getting boring. Give it up already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author goingforgold Posted November 14, 2005 Author Share Posted November 14, 2005 Ok.....here's what just happened.....he called me and said "Why didn't you ask to speak to me instead of telling the whole story to everyone else?....If there's a problem please call me during office hours at the clinic and ask to speak to me, it its after hours call my mobile" He said he is "snowed" under with work and has no time to see me, but he can make time for me after work, as the last patient about 6pm. I asked if i could see one of the other dentists there instead, so he didnt have to stay back for me, and he said he rather look at the problem himself since he has been the one looking after my teeth:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 Well it sure sounds like you got some crappy teeth. Jeez, how often do you have to get them fixed? Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 As often as it takes to get her MM! Ok, sorry, sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist Mandy. Are you not convinced yet that he's trying to get in your pants? Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 As often as it takes to get her MM! Ok, sorry, sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist Mandy. Are you not convinced yet that he's trying to get in your pants? lol seriously, even my brother in law who's got the crappiest teeth I have EVER seen: it only took him three visits to get them fixed for the most part. Why on Earth would you have to go there for months, call several times a week, and go on a regular basis? This ain't no massage place! He's either a sh?tty dentist or wants to bang you; or maybe both. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 You do crack me up glitter! And yes, it's definitely both...crappy, horny dentist! But Mandy only sees him as a "caring" dentist. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Coco Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 Make that crappy, horny, MARRIED dentist! A real winner! Link to post Share on other sites
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