What is your honest opinion of women over 40

[shydad]

Fun, Easy going, Honest, A good friend

These are your best qualities.

[guest569]

The tag line should read 'Honest OPINION of women over 40."

 

How many of you have chosen to pair up in later life with a single woman in her 40's who has never been married with no children.

 

I find men repeatedly making me feel like I'm too old for them though the men I date tend to be older... in their 50's. Some of them are still holding out hope for children, other's just seem to think they can get someone 'better', who is a lot younger than me.

 

Granted, I don't date A LOT. I'm not 'out there', but I'm always disappointed with the men I do meet and feel like my age is a factor, now. It's not all in my head... they do manage to sneak in shots here and there about my age... I feel like I'm going to be stuck dating 60 year olds just to be considered desirable enough. This is happening to my female friends as well... men A LOT older are approaching them but no one their own age or just above.

 

I'm curious what men in general really think of women in their mid 40's... especially if they've never been married because I think there's still a stigma about that.

 

I'm 30 and cop crap from men who think I'm old. Gone are the days where it was widely considered rude to make comments about a woman's age. I mean, here's a tip - don't open with 'ooh, a cougar, I like older women ' when you're like 2 years younger than me you little prick. Yes, the stigma is alive and well and it is impacting on women earlier and earlier!

[guest569]

Honest because honesty was asked for...

 

Many of them are horrible because they haven't realised they've hit the wall and have less to offer than they ever have in life.

 

This is so far from the truth, unless you believe that the only things that women have to offer in life are perky breasts and a youthful complexion. Women in their 40s should have more to offer than ever before, much more than a 20 year old who hasn't moved away from mum and dad yet, has not been to uni or worked a day in their life. A 40 year old has lived, and with this comes maturity, wisdom, social and emotional intelligence, better relationships. Mind you, age is just a number and that 20 yr old could have seen a lot in their life. A 40 yr old may have lived under a rock.

[Poutrew]

I feel like I'm going to be stuck dating 60 year olds just to be considered desirable enough.

 

Well, as a single guy who's going to be 60 in less than a year, I doubt I'd ever ask you out on a date... I'm not dead quite yet. Just ask the 32 year old I just went out with

[Logo]

They do.....

 

 

 

I would be curious to know what they are, just to see what banal rules each side has come up with.

 

 

It’s pathetic, really.

 

 

I have a dream that one day the two sexes will not judge each other by shallow, superficial metrics, but by the content of their character. I have a dream.

[Logo]

A 40 year old has lived, and with this comes maturity, wisdom, social and emotional intelligence, better relationships. Mind you, age is just a number and that 20 yr old could have seen a lot in their life. A 40 yr old may have lived under a rock.

 

Yes. It goes both ways. Some 20 year olds can be more mature, responsible and insightful than 40 year olds. Common perception is that with life’s experiences, the older person has gained far more insight. But that is not always the case.

 

 

While we’re on the subject, I retract what I wrote earlier about impressionable 20 year olds.

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Women that have good personalities and take good care of themselves should do okay at any age.

 

If you mean by mean in their 20’s or recently divorced professional men who are age appropriate but can spend an entire cocktail hour telling you the 1M ways thehate their ex wives, how the ex wife “took them for all they had” (after the ex wives raised 2-5 of their children), and how broke they are because of having to pay child and spousal support, how much school fees are, and how they would NEVEr get married again, well then yes I have a lot of interest

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

If you're looking for your male equivalent, I can see why you'd struggle. Men with these attributes have younger women practically throwing themselves at them.

 

Nope I’m looking for :

 

Around 45 and up

Short tall bald doesn’t matter

Prefer a teddy bear dad body for cuddling purposes but not bothered as long as he’s healthy

Single and I mean : not separated, not wishing to be divorced and no living with ex wife, soon to be ex wife under the same roof

Need not be rich but can pay his own rent/mortgage expenses

A great smile

Fun

Be able to express emotion

Have something he’s passionate about: motorcyclist, music, garden, drawing, trains, golf, gosh even ham radio I don’t care just have an interest in something

Be a positive man

Don’t be a cheater or liar

 

It’s not like I’m setting an incredibly high bar!

[Logo]

Need not be rich but can pay his own rent/mortgage expenses

 

 

[....]

 

 

Be able to express emotion

 

 

If you're different and have different expectations or different definitions, that's great.

 

 

But I have found that the women I have crossed paths with, in your age group, in regard to the first of the two points you've mentioned above, were hypocrites.

 

If the couple is living together or separately, my experience has shown that while a woman expects a man to pay his own rent/mortgage expenses, she also expects him to pay for all the outings, especially within the age group of whom you're a member because they believe in "old- fashioned" values.

 

They twist old fashioned to mean "Entertain me, take me out, wine me, dine me and I expect you to plan everything, foot all the bills because I'm old fashioned and I'm doing so because I don't want to offend your manly sensibilities by offering to split expenses made during any or all outings. All I have to do is show up, whether now or a few months into the relationship."

 

Needless to say, I have no patience for that.

 

I have also seen women confuse chivalry with weakness. They make the mistake of assuming the minute a man treats them well, he has put them on a pedestal or is merely a spineless pushover. I don't know if that's why there seems to be a shortage of chivalrous men as claimed by women, but there could be a connection or it could be entirely unrelated.

 

As for emotions. That's been wishy washy. Some women want to feel emotionally close to the man they are with so they expect him to show emotions and they feel safe and good when he does. But there are cases where the moment he does show emotion, he goes down a few rungs on the respect ladder. He's seen as weak and less masculine. It depends on the woman.

 

The women who do appreciate it when a man is able to express his emotions are few and far between. They are usually more mentally mature. Where are those women?

 

It's also the men's fault. Misogynistic comments like "quit acting like a girl and be a man about it" coming from men certainly draw a clear line between what's expected, what's tolerated and what's normal and make it seem as though emotions are taboo.

[Fair]

Well, as a single guy who's going to be 60 in less than a year, I doubt I'd ever ask you out on a date...

 

Amen. You're waaaaaaaaaay too old for me.

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

If you're different and have different expectations or different definitions, that's great.

 

But I have found that the women I have crossed paths with, in your age group, in regard to the first of the two points you've mentioned above, were hypocrites.

 

If the couple is living together or separately, my experience has shown that while a woman expects a man to pay his own rent/mortgage expenses, she also expects him to pay for all the outings, especially within the age group of whom you're a member because they believe in "old- fashioned" values.

 

Interesting perspective. I don’t want anyone to pay for me and I don’t want to pay for anyone with the exception of being in a serious LTR with a man with less resources than me I’d happily pay for holidays and gifts and such. Going Dutch or taking it in turns is ok. I prefer to go Dutch as I don’t drink.

Edited April 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote edited

[oceanblue12]

Maybe not all, but far more than the other way around.

 

In my opinion I find a woman in her 40's to be undesirable. The shallow part of me considers her appearance to be a shell of her former self while the other part of me can't help but think...Why is she available after all of these years?

 

 

That is not even remotely accurate (to me). "A shell of her former self" that is just completely not true. She could have experienced the death of a spouse or simply never desired to marry (many reasons). What about her elegance and confidence ?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Amen. You're waaaaaaaaaay too old for me.

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

High five, Fair!

[JuneL]

Me too. She looks like she's had work on her face. His ex-wife is far more attractive if you ask me.

 

Haha, I thought Bezos had better taste than that

But perhaps older men find that kind of looks appealing?

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

It seems like the OP has proved a point. Middle aged women have a much harder time finding age appropriate quality men for dating, many men view middle aged women as undesirable and prefer young women.

 

Not a rallying cry for humanity!

[nospam99]

Fascinating (Spock's catch phrase) ...

Rule of Sixes

Minimum requirements

USING CAPS FOR MY RESPONSES TO THESE RULES

1 Must be at least six feet tall - NEVER BEEN CLOSE

2 Must have a 6 pack (Or be extremely fit) - NOT NOW BUT COULD GET THERE IF IT WAS A DEAL-CLOSER

3 Must make at least 6 figures ($100,000 per year or more) - NITPICK ... SALARY OR AGI? - MIGHT HAVE BEEN THERE ONCE. BUT LOTS OF 'HIGH FIVES'

4 Must have at least 6 years of college (Possessing a Master's degree or higher) - NITPICK ... PART OR FULL TIME? - FOUR DEGREES, TWO MASTERS BUT FIRST THREE, INCLUDING THE MASTERS ONLY TOOK FIVE YEARS HAVING TO ACTUALLY SIT IN CLASSROOMS STAYING AWAKE

So I'm not a guy who does well with the Rule of Sixes

Oh they do:

 

They want slim women (some bame a max weight) this seems to hold true no matter what the man weighs

 

5’6 or thereabouts and no taller

 

No children (or definitely none at home)

 

Feminine

 

Does not want/ want more children

 

Great looking

 

Successful enough

 

Adequate resources so the man doesn’t feel like he’s dating down

 

And oddly apparently likes all kinds of sport both participation And spectating

 

My own 'rules' for women are more flexible than those outlined

Slim? Plenty of women who describe themselves as 'average' are okay with me. I'm looking for a woman who clearly has a waist and no where a roll of fat is clearly hanging.

Height? If she can put up with me (5'8''), I can put up with her. Though, so far, ALL women taller than me have ignored me. Given the chance to date one, I have to admit a woman taller than about 5'10'' who insisted on wearing heels would probably be 'challenging'.

Children are fine as long as they're not criminals. After all, I've got (adult) children, too. Generally I love kids so I wouldn't even mind being a 'father figure' to 'her' kids up to 'unsettled young adulthood'.

Feminine? Well, YEAH! I'm not interested in a 'masculine' woman.

Wants more kids? Okay, as long as she's rich enough to raise them. My peak earning years are almost certainly gone. And though it's not on my bucket list, I'd even go back to changing diapers.

Looks? In the eye of the beholder. Aside from smokers and women who tanned for decades, I haven't met any who look bad. The body aspect of looks was mentioned above.

Successful? No druggies, no criminals, no lazies. Aside from that, I think I've been 'successful' enough to cover us both. I have no objection to a woman who has been successful, even more than me.

Dating down? Not a problem as long as she's been 'successful' enough to support herself. Living on alimony if she's been making a home for her kids is fine, too.

Sports? Negotiable. My 'sports' are participatory: hiking, ballroom dancing, and skiing. Aside from the skiing (which some of the LS ladies have dinged me for), which I can do alone if 'she' is not into it, I'm up for sports that she may do: tennis, golf, bowling, boating.

 

Bottom lines: Rule of Sixes strikes me as too restrictive and Philly's list of 'men rules' are quite a bit stricter than 'this man's' rules.

Edited April 7, 2019 by nospam99

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Fascinating (Spock's catch phrase) ...

Rule of Sixes

 

Nospam you and chilli are the exception to most of the other men who are dating.

 

May I ask how old you are?

Edited April 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[JuneL]

Nospam you and chilli are the exception to most of the other men who are dating.

 

May I ask how old you are?

 

I’m afraid you can never compete with his Natalie :laugh:

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

I’m afraid you can never compete with his Natalie :laugh:

 

Don’t want to compete. Want to know what age range sensible men are in!! Hahahah

[elaine567]

Don’t want to compete. Want to know what age range sensible men are in!! Hahahah

 

Nospam is 64.

[thefooloftheyear]

IME women that have had/raised kids are far more desirable than those that haven't for guys out there in that age group....all else being equal...I don't know of any guys that would see that as a negative, unless the guy hated kids and she had little ones...

 

There is no doubt a definite difference in these women vs the ones that have never had kids..It may be a primal response as it shows the woman as fertile, but I dunno...Again, only in my experience with childless middle aged women, they seem kinda cold...and these women generally struggled to find/keep guys around..

 

TFY

[stillafool]

I’m just saying it’s another cosmetic thing I had done and I don’t think it makes me fake.

 

Of course getting your teeth straightened by braces isn't fake. They are your teeth. They are talking about people who get fake everything from botox, cheek implants down to false lashes and nails. I think women who have wrinkles but a nice body look far better than women whose faces have been altered to try to look younger. You can still tell they are old. The look is in their eyes as they've seen too much.

[PhillyLibertyBelle]

Of course getting your teeth straightened by braces isn't fake. They are your teeth. They are talking about people who get fake everything from botox, cheek implants down to false lashes and nails. I think women who have wrinkles but a nice body look far better than women whose faces have been altered to try to look younger. You can still tell they are old. The look is in their eyes as they've seen too much.

 

Like OP I am single but I’m really happy and blessed to have had and continue to have a wonderful, rich and meaningful life in spite of the ups and downs life throws at all of us. I’ve never been more grateful at the abundance of all things I have in life, love, friends, funds, food, laughter, godchildren, foster children (as I couldn’t have any of my own sadly) education, career, and family and my real joy is being able to share all of my different types of “wealths” with others!

 

Of course I’d be enchanted to find someone (man or woman) to share my life with but I’m not fixated on it, great if it happens, fine if it doesn’t, I’m happy, content, grateful and peaceful every day.

 

To your point about “seeing too much” at this point in how the world is today pretty much everyone has “seen too much”. The trick is to keep your eyes open for the beauty that’s still to be seen and your mind open to a sense of wonder!

[nospam99]

Nospam you and chilli are the exception to most of the other men who are dating.

 

May I ask how old you are?

 

LOL because chilli is my 'brother from another mother'. Elaine is off by one, though certainly close enough - I'm 65. FWIW, when I was your age I was in the DECADES of 'staying together for the sake of the kids' which, with hindsight, worked out. (Of course, with hindsight, many women say labor and delivery didn't hurt .... much.)

[stillafool]

.

 

To your point about “seeing too much” at this point in how the world is today pretty much everyone has “seen too much”. The trick is to keep your eyes open for the beauty that’s still to be seen and your mind open to a sense of wonder!

 

You seem to be having a great life and those are the things that are important. However I have to disagree with you about everyone having seen too much. No way an 18 year old girl has seen as much as this 60 year old woman. The innocence is still in her eyes and you can see it; but no longer in mine. That is what can't be altered by surgery or procedure.