Weird Coincidences?

[pepperbird]

op,the more I read from you, the more it sounds like your husband isn't coping well with having a special needs child. This beyond whether or not he is cheating.

 

 

When you say your child has special needs, I don't know if that includes that he has sensory processing issues. If he does, then your husband shouldn't be yelling at i'm or arguing with him. He's a child, your husband's an adult and needs to start acting like one.

[ginamistros10]

Son has aspergers. Yes I agree. I think my son always had this condition but we weren’t aware of it and just thought he was a fussy child. Yes the hubby seems to not be coping well. Since I can see his search history, I frequently see him looking at weird things on YouTube (people quit their job & live in van, homes off the grid, fitness...I will frequently see he watched Ted talk videos about “how not to give a f***”, “how to be a bada$$”, etc). Just really he seems to suddenly not know who he is. This is why I say midlife crisis! Just today, he was looking at a dozen or so YouTube videos on the best marriage proposals. Very weird stuff.

[pepperbird]

Son has aspergers. Yes I agree. I think my son always had this condition but we weren’t aware of it and just thought he was a fussy child. Yes the hubby seems to not be coping well. Since I can see his search history, I frequently see him looking at weird things on YouTube (people quit their job & live in van, homes off the grid, fitness...I will frequently see he watched Ted talk videos about “how not to give a f***”, “how to be a bada$$”, etc). Just really he seems to suddenly not know who he is. This is why I say midlife crisis! Just today, he was looking at a dozen or so YouTube videos on the best marriage proposals. Very weird stuff.

 

 

Our oldest was diagnosed with aspergers when she was ten. The teens years were really a challenge for both her and us ( I guess that's true for a lot of kids) but after high school, she really bloomed. She completed community college and is now in law school ( undergraduate track).

 

My spouse and I have been to lots of support group meetings and have heard a lot of stories . One trait that was fairly consistent with the few men who participated was their sense of failure. Many felt like they had failed their child somehow. They also felt helpless and often overwhelmed. Some refused to accept the situation. To be honest, the majority of the parents were single mothers where the father couldn't cope or had never been in the picture at all.

 

I'm not saying that this is the sole cause of your husbnad's behavior,but it could be contributing. Is there any way you could have him attend a support group meeting? Sometimes, it can be really helpful to find out you aren't alone.

[Crazelnut]

Please stop telling your husband you think/know he's doing something with this woman. Shut up about it. All you are doing is pushing him to go underground with it (if he is screwing around) or pushing him away (if he's not). Time to be quiet and start sleuthing.

[Oberfeldwebel]

This is a lot more complicated that just sex, that fits in a neat little box, but is just one of the issues. You touched on something that I think may be worth exploring and that is bipolar disorder. I think that it could be a contributing factor in all of these coincidences that you have described. BPD would go a long way in explaining what appears to be very odd behavior. Has he been tested for this?

 

As for the infidelity, I have to say I don’t see it with the Jennifer you describe. She is a newly wed that would be in the honeymoon phase and quickly gets pregnant. I do believe that she is who he took to lunch and probably was enamored with this beautiful young woman that paid attention to him.

 

I also see where your desire for sex for him could wane, when you have a whole trunk full of toys and trying to keep up with his fantasies, while being treated like an object in bed, instead of a beloved partner. Couple this with fact that you having to deal with an Aspie child, it seems as if you are doing all the giving and none of the receiving. This would be overwhelming to anyone, so your concerns are completely justified.

 

While I don’t think his actions show that he has cheated, I do see deep issues in this relationship that your husband is going to have to look to address or you may need to consider ending the relationship. The bottom line is you can’t keep going on with the status quo. Personally, I recommend the following.

 

1. Have your husband tested for BPD and get him on medication if that is an issue.

2. Consult with an attorney and find out your legal rights

3. Develop an exit strategy if things can’t be resolved

[ginamistros10]

Every once in a while, I will mention to him that I feel his moods are all over the place. I have nicely mentioned bipolar since his brother has borderline personality disorder and mental illness runs in his family. He vehemently denies it could be the case with him most of the time, but once or twice he will say “I can see why you would think this”. I have told him I cannot continue on this roller coaster ride. I love him but I am falling out of love with him because my own needs are not ever being met. I want to feel like we are a couple and I feel the burden is on him to tell me he loves me considering everything he’s put me through. I feel that it’s not right that I have to have sex with him and satisfy all of his physical needs when he is doing nothing at all for my emotional needs. The sex is so-so but mostly emotionless (no kissing, all about meeting an ejaculation quota).

[ginamistros10]

Also I am going thru perimenopause. Where is the support for me??? I notice subtle changes in my body/appearance. Most strangers I see out during the day while doing errands will compliment me on my appearance and my personality. These are all the compliments I ever get. I get none from my husband. A year and half ago when perimenopause started, he left a nice little note on my pillow that said he would be my rock during this life transition for me. I felt loved and like the love of his life. He was my rock. We weren’t arguing much and we were back to being the couple we always were- affectionate, cuddling, etc. It was right when he made me move into the spare bedroom because I kept him up a lot (peri made me get up and go pee a lot in middle of night). I thought we were ok. So you can imagine my surprise when he starts a job and a month later takes a female colleague on a 2 hr one-on-one lunch where they ate at a quaint Italian restaurant which was a 15 minute walk from their office. Then walked around sightseeing the city. He had to know I wasn’t going to be ok with this! We had discussed it years before when I went to a training class for a week. He told me he didn’t want me to do a one on one lunch and hoped I would lunch as a group of people. I honored his wishes. In the case of his coworker, he said she normally takes her lunch but so happened to not have her lunch that day and asked him if she could join him. I guess he just couldn’t refuse. Oh- and he made it a point to say she’s a lesbian.

[S2B]

He's lying and interested in another woman.

 

When are you going to take some action that makes him realize you're not putting up with the way he participates with you?

 

It's ONLY up to YOU to change things.

[elaine567]

When wives/gfs go for counselling, the first thing the counsellor says is stop talking about HIM.

If he treats you bad then why do YOU let him?

If he is doing stuff you hate why do YOU put up with it?

[ginamistros10]

Here is transcript of our conversation yesterday & today via text:

 

Me: “I have decided I do not want to keep working on things. I’m letting u know. Don't want to talk when u get home either. U have been pushing toward this a long time- almost one year. I've been trying to keep it together but I'm done now.”

 

Him: “I haven't been pushing for anything. Except not to argue. I want to keep working on this!”

 

Me: “U just said in bathroom that u can't do this anymore. Neither can I.”

 

Him: “I'm gonna do my part and try to have thicker skin sometimes.”

 

Me: “I'm not in love w u anymore. I just realized it. That's why I held on for so long but u gave me nothing left to hold on to.”

 

Him: “I would say when we're not arguing there's plenty to hold onto. When were arguing were not ourselves.”

 

Me: “The relationship is gone.”

 

Him: “Can you call me?”

 

I called him & informed him we should go meet with an attorney this week. We didn’t speak the rest of the night. Today, he started texting me from work again:

 

Him: “So I checked my schedule for you and I can do attorney tomorrow at 4 pm“

 

Me: “Funny u aren’t protesting this too hard now are u?”

 

Him: “I did vehemently. You’re not in love”

 

Me: “You barely said anything.”

 

Him: “I asked u to call me many times and u didn’t”

 

Me: “I think u can barely wait to do this”

 

Him: “Then - many many texts about not being in love. You wrong. Why act like u care now - u don't- aren't in love. My eyes burning because of u”

 

Me: “yea ok- play your little victim card. I tossed and turned all night because of u”

 

Him: “It bothered me. I couldn’t believe u said it”

 

Me: “My actions are matching yours- The could-care-less attitude u have all of the time“

 

Him: “And my actions follow your words.”

 

Me: “Nope- u always doing stuff that precedes my actions. U were asked nicely to try to make the kids feel a little less anxious about almost letting the cat out. U blew up at me- held grudge for 2 days! U don't see anything wrong w that? I guess it’s ok for u to withhold affection from me? Funny how your first day back to work after a long weekend and u act like that on same day!”

 

Him: “I don’t withhold from u”

 

Me: “Just realize that u have not said that you love me in months.”

 

Him: “Have u said it to me?”

 

Me: “I feel the burdens on u buddy”

 

Him: “I will assume from all this texting that u are still in love with me and want to work this out. No the burden is 50% on u”

 

Me: “We are talking. Don't get ahead of yourself. I would be setting myself up for failure staying with u. Nothing changes. Tired of being unloved.”

 

Him: “I’m tired of your arguing!

 

Me: “U are the reason for these petty fights! How is anyone ever going to say anything critical about something u do or did ?“

 

Him: “Who kept the lunch thing going for months?”

 

Me: “Who wouldn't- big sequence of odd events! Lunch, being adamant it will happen again for 3-4 days, wanting to use the gym at the office no matter what I think, u calling a divorce attorney, you driving around looking at apartments (still doing it just 3 weeks ago)”

 

Him: “Whatever- u need help!” Done with that argument!!!!

 

Me: “U are in a serious midlife crisis. One day u are going to wake up alone.”

 

Him: “STOP THIS! ONE DAY I MIGHT AND I MIGHT BE STRESS FREE AND ARGUMENT FREE“

 

Me: “That's how I been for almost a year! Enough torture for me! You will until u meet the next person“

Him: CANT U STOP- WHAT IS WRONG WITH U

 

Me: Hopefully u will marry a "yes woman"

 

Him: U ARE SUCH A HATEFUL AND MEAN SPIRITED PERSON.

all I want to do is love and be loved

 

Me: U have a problem

 

Him: All u want to do is the opposite!

 

Me: yea- ok

[ginamistros10]

Him: u there? It’s 11:06am. I Love You. I hate all this arguing! If u don't love me let me know!

 

Me: Of course I love you. But I don't feel any love from you. It feels like just going thru motions.

 

Him: When we argue- that's the way it feels for me also

 

Me: It can turn on a dime as well. I don't like the silent treatment over minuscule disagreements.

 

Him: Why did u say u don't love me? Not feeling loved from arguing is different

 

Me: I feel that lying about a one on one lunch with the opposite sex is a MUCH bigger trigger. We had discussed this before. It was your idea for us to not do it. For you to sit around and blame me for being upset about that blows my mind.

 

Him: Why did u say that yesterday?

 

Me: Saying I am a hateful spiteful person. You don’t know me very well. I'm exactly the opposite

 

Him: I will try to do my part better

 

Me: You just don't take the time to know me anymore because your priorities lie elsewhere.

 

Him: Hope u will work on some things. Stop saying that! Ridiculous!

 

Me: You have cooked up some perception of me and it's pretty f##### up.

 

Him: stop saying that

 

Me: By the way- u can love someone and also let them go. I feel you’re too far gone.

 

Him: Perception is Reality- u just proved- saying I have something elsewhere!

 

Me: I cannot continue fighting for u. U have already checked out. U were out one year ago after u started that job. Your weird behavior started November 6- almost a yr ago! I will never forget that day. It's the day I realized u never gave a **** about me and unfortunately I have been sad and feeling detached since then.

 

Him: No one has checked out except you mentally. Can u stop all this arguing & stress?

Can you stop talking about the lunch thing and saying I have someone on the side?

 

Me: This is why it won't work- u should be able to see that

 

Him: How many times we've been over this and you promised over and over and over again to stop talking about this stuff

 

Me: "Can I stop the arguing"

 

Him: What are you talking about you're not making any sense I'm not bringing the stuff up

I'm REALLY exhausted!

 

Me: I feel unloved, devalued, you have made me feel unattractive, etc

 

Him: I'm BARELY it making here

 

Me: then no more texting me!

 

Him: You know that's not true

 

Me: I’m exhausted too- tossed and turned in bed last night- didn’t sleep well!

 

Him: So you want to keep working on this?

 

Me: not answering- don’t know

 

Him: If u quit being so defensive and mean and rude be nice and loving and kind

 

Me: yea ok- Take your own advice- Also I don't know who has been advising u about me but they're giving u horrible advice...

[Jane Deaux]

OOOOO. Wow. That is so much negativity.

 

I have been following your thread and have been back and forth about what I think it appears to be. You may be right about coincidences. And maybe your husband was feeling unsatisfied. I don't think he cheated though. But I DO THINK that you have yourself SO CONVINCED of many things that you just can't see the light. I know how that feels because just this week I did the same thing to myself. And then when I let go and I could finally see that I was the one twisting things to my agenda. Maybe your husband was attracted to someone else? But I think it is time to let that go. We have all been attracted to other people besides our spouses before.

 

I am not saying you are wrong for suspicions or that he hasn't been in the wrong the last few months. But I think you are so far gone that you aren't see that there is still a chance to save the marriage. IF you want to. But what you have to STOP doing is bringing up that woman and lunches.

Also you really do seem kind of crazy. I get your point of view but your texts are coming across rather...scattered and emotional and all over the place. I believe you need to get a hold of yourself and maybe you need to suggest a break, or counseling. Not the back and forth that was in those texts. You aren't going to be taken serious with texts like that. Ground yourself and try to have a conversation that flows, rather than one where you can't seem to make up your mind and you just look crazy.

 

BELIEVE me I know how it feels. I have been there and it is VERY difficult to get a hold of yourself when you can't think straight from emotions. I am only telling you all of this for your benefit. I am not even speaking on him or what he may or may not have done wrong. I am just telling you to find some CALM and then talk to him, about divorce or counseling. But you have to stop the Blaming and shifting through text. It doesn't work. Be very straightforward and simple with him

 

"I do love you, but things have been very difficult lately. I would like to take some time to think, without arguing, and just find some peace of mind. Let us both think things through and then talk about this. Maybe in a few days." Reinforce to him that the emotional turmoil and the arguing is destroying you right now and you also just want peace.

[Artdeco]

Reading your texting conversation, I get the impression that you are (you sound) desperate, and you want to get his attention. All he wants is – typical male – for you not to mention the lunch anymore, his female work friend, etc......he just wants no more fighting, just playing / acting happy, careless, carefree. For some reason, most men (and all men that I’ve ever been with) have that exact same trait (and it drives me nuts): they DON’T want to discuss relationship issues. If there are problems, they prefer to ignore them until they fade all by themselves. Isn’t that the truth? [Male posters here, can you give some input and insight into this?]

 

Anyways, generally speaking I think that your conversation goes nowhere. It goes around and around in the same circles. No problem solving or anything even close to that. You threaten divorce, then you take it back, then you try to “bait” him into saying something apologetic, nice. And when he does (or tries), you start the whole negative communication cycle again. I don’t get it. You need a counselor to talk this through with you guys. You can’t do this on your own.

 

I understand your frustration, because you have built up quite some resentment over his withdrawing, working out at the company gym, going to lunch with other women, possibly having a crush on another woman, possible (emotional) affair,… And he won’t discuss it with you to an extent where you can feel Safe/taken seriously/loved. He just wants it to stop. YOU, though, will never be happy with that. You need this problem SOLVED on your terms. You feel he failed you. Hence, you feel he is responsible on his own to make it better. I can almost predict with certainty that you will never be satisfied with how he handles this. Therefore, you two need help. Or you seriously need to split up.

[Mardelis]

Don't threaten divorce unless you mean it. Even then, don't use it as some sort of weapon- if you want out, then calmly discuss it and see if you can get it done uncontested, if there's no chance of that then go see an attorney and get a consult. You announced it to him, he called your bluff and then you went back to more of the nonproductive back and forth about how it's over and you're done and yet clearly unwilling to do anything to really make it done.

[S2B]

Wow.... you spelled out clearly how he's hurting you and all he does is deny?

 

Not even an acknowledgement of your feelings!

 

Wow... his denial about reality and the way he participates will keep him from connecting with you.

 

I couldn't stay with ANY man that discounts how I feel at every turn.

 

He may be a lost cause... emotionally as dumb as a rock.

[ginamistros10]

So today he calls me after work. He said it’s been a stressful day. I ask why and he says his social anxiety is acting up. I asked “why- because u had a lot of presentations/meetings?” He said yes. He came home and gave me a hug and told me he was going to walk the dog. Then he said he planned to get a bath at 9:30 and maybe I could join him. I had to go to grocery store and called him while I was out when no kids around. I asked him why he’s having so much work stress and did he want to open up and talk about it. He started screaming at me saying “why the 50 questions?” Then he accused m of prying and being nosey. Wtf. I just wanted to be a person he could talk to about his anxiety. He yelled at me again and I just lost my cool. I screamed back “FU” and hung up and blocked him on my phone.

[S2B]

This kind of animosity can't be good in your household.

 

Have you considered having him move out?

 

Something needs to be done so he a) gets the firm idea his behavior is unacceptable and b) you aren't gonna take his crappy attitude and actions anymore.

 

He figures he's in that home and he can treat you terribly. He needs to be very uncomfortable in order to understand he's losing the life he knows if he doesn't change in a BIG hurry! This is action that needs to be taken by you in order for him to understand you have a boundary and he crossed it. There are consequences for bad behavior and he should see those consequences NOW (tonight even!) no more giving him chances to be a decent person - he knows how to be decent to you yet he is consciously making choices to hurt and manipulate you. Those aren't the vows he took! You don't have to take crap behavior from him one more minute - show him you won't!

 

It's time for less talk and more action (on your part) to change things.

 

Otherwise - nothing changes if nothing changes.

[ginamistros10]

Yes it is terrible! I hate the kids to have to go thru it. I feel bad for the special needs child who also has a chronic illness he’s going through. I also hate it for the other child because she has so much she goes thru with her sibling- and now her father can’t get control of himself. I have asked him to leave and he refuses. I got angry a few days ago and told him one day he would come home & his stuff will be on the lawn and the locks will be changed. I don’t know what else to do! I am going to meet with a lawyer hopefully this week and see what my rights are. It’s hard since I can’t prove the infidelity. He’s really sneaky. I don’t really know how VARs work- and if it would even be useful. I feel like anything that goes on has to take place at work because he’s generally home all week in the evenings. He does go to the movies by himself a lot. I’ve checked on him while he’s there by riding by the theater and his car is there. Maybe next time I should sit & watch to see if he comes out of the theater because maybe that’s a cover for what he’s really up to. Who knows. I hate doing this stuff. I want to be free of all this $hit and drama.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Gina, it is good to see that you are moving out of a state of being in limbo and starting to think of taking proactive measures to get out of a relationship which has become toxic for you. If you start doing something for yourself I am sure you will feel more energized. As S2B said, unless you change things around nothing will change. Your husband has probably been lulled into thinking that all your complaints to him about his behaviour are just words and that you will do nothing to change the status quo. I would think he would be in for a rude shock when and if you have him served divorce papers. Maybe he will finally wake up from his slumber and see the gravity of the situation for himself. Whichever way this works out, you will be much better off than you are now. Wish you the very best.

[Artdeco]

Yes it is terrible! I hate the kids to have to go thru it. I feel bad for the special needs child who also has a chronic illness he’s going through. I also hate it for the other child because she has so much she goes thru with her sibling- and now her father can’t get control of himself. I have asked him to leave and he refuses. I got angry a few days ago and told him one day he would come home & his stuff will be on the lawn and the locks will be changed. I don’t know what else to do! I am going to meet with a lawyer hopefully this week and see what my rights are. It’s hard since I can’t prove the infidelity. He’s really sneaky. I don’t really know how VARs work- and if it would even be useful. I feel like anything that goes on has to take place at work because he’s generally home all week in the evenings. He does go to the movies by himself a lot. I’ve checked on him while he’s there by riding by the theater and his car is there. Maybe next time I should sit & watch to see if he comes out of the theater because maybe that’s a cover for what he’s really up to. Who knows. I hate doing this stuff. I want to be free of all this $hit and drama.

 

I don’t think it matters at this point. Is he cheating, is he not? Probably, but who cares? You don’t need to state an official “fault” reason for a D anyways - and the way he treats you would be enough of a reason for me. Just go to the lawyer and see what your rights are. Don’t delay it. You can always change your mind later. But don’t tell yourself that all is fine, as long as he’s not cheating. It’s not. He’s abusive.

[Crazelnut]

Movies by himself? That's odd. Time to start tailing him. And I'd still put a VAR in his car.

[S2B]

Originally Posted by ___________

 

One of my clients told his wife to leave. Her response was absolutely the same, its my house. So, he goes to the kitchen, gets about four good size garbage bags. He fills them with her clothing, shoes, purses, coats, just about everything she owned. He places all four bags on the front lawn. All this time she was watching TV and did not notice. He pokes his head inside the door, and goes, "Hon, would you like to see the bonfire?" She wanders outside just in time to see him pouring the contents of a barbecue lighter can over every stitch of clothing she owned outside of what was on her body. He even took the laundry basket full of her soiled undies. He stood on the lawn in front of the entire neighborhood, and said either you leave now, or you will have one pair of pants, one top, one bra, and one pair of panties. The rest I burn in front of all of our neighbors.

 

She apparently got it, as the last of the lighter fluid was covering the bags. She has a fit, grabs the bags and puts them in her car. Took weeks to get the lighter fluid smell out. She relocated to her mother's, and he proceeded to have the locks changed, security system installed etc. etc. She did not take well to being defeated.

 

I should add that he also sprinkled a little of the fluid her way, so that might have just intimidated her.

 

 

This example could be considered when you build up the courage to take severe action.

[ginamistros10]

So I didn’t speak to him last night. I was catching up on some work emails last night and saw that he’d been on my laptop on the Internet. He left 4 internet windows open. All of them with sporting goods store websites viewing soccer balls. There was also a window open where he searched “rules of soccer”. I thought,um, ok? He doesn’t play soccer so that is weird. (Hold that thought because it comes into play in the next paragraph).This morning he came into my bedroom before he left for work trying to profusely apologize. I sent him on his way out my bedroom door and told him to save it. He tried to call me and text me repeatedly today & I gave him the silent treatment.

 

This evening he comes home and tried to make small talk with me. I spoke but not in any detail. He told me he needed to go walk the dog. While he was walking, he texts me to ask if I want to go to the church for a prayer group at 7pm- just me and him. I declined. Then my daughter and I left the house to go shopping. As we drove down our street, we saw him walking so I rolled down the window to speak. He asked again if I wanted to go pray with him. I told him no thanks- that he needs to go pray that this midlife crisis goes away and he can stop being weird. He was arguing and telling me our marriage could be saved and that we just needed to start spending time together more. I told him it’s too far gone. My daughter was getting agitated at his persistence and told him I could make my own mind up and didn’t need him to tell me what to do. He got snappy with her and told me she was influencing me. She got upset so I stepped out of the car and unloaded on him. I told him all of this crap was caused by him and to not blame our child. I also said “and what is all this soccer crap you left on my computer for me to see?” He looked really embarrassed. He said his office was having a charity soccer game and he was going to participate. I

Didn’t ask any details nor did I care. I told him to enjoy playing soccer with his little girlfriend.

[MidwestUSA]

So today he calls me after work. He said it’s been a stressful day. I ask why and he says his social anxiety is acting up. I asked “why- because u had a lot of presentations/meetings?” He said yes. He came home and gave me a hug and told me he was going to walk the dog. Then he said he planned to get a bath at 9:30 and maybe I could join him. I had to go to grocery store and called him while I was out when no kids around. I asked him why he’s having so much work stress and did he want to open up and talk about it. He started screaming at me saying “why the 50 questions?” Then he accused m of prying and being nosey. Wtf. I just wanted to be a person he could talk to about his anxiety. He yelled at me again and I just lost my cool. I screamed back “FU” and hung up and blocked him on my phone.

 

I see one thing you could have done differently.

 

He asked you to join him in a bath. Why not wait till you're there with him, then ask if there's anything specific he wants to open up about? He made an intimate invite, and probably did feel like he was being interrogated. He just wanted to chill, and you did your questioning, not in person, but by phone. He may have felt slighted that you just couldn't accept the invitation for what it was. He's trying to relax and forget, and you're bringing it all back to him.

 

You might have had some fun in the bath. He may or may not have opened up. But you'll never know now.

 

You two have horrid communication skills.

Edited September 27, 2018 by MidwestUSA

[pepperbird]

Originally Posted by ___________

 

One of my clients told his wife to leave. Her response was absolutely the same, its my house. So, he goes to the kitchen, gets about four good size garbage bags. He fills them with her clothing, shoes, purses, coats, just about everything she owned. He places all four bags on the front lawn. All this time she was watching TV and did not notice. He pokes his head inside the door, and goes, "Hon, would you like to see the bonfire?" She wanders outside just in time to see him pouring the contents of a barbecue lighter can over every stitch of clothing she owned outside of what was on her body. He even took the laundry basket full of her soiled undies. He stood on the lawn in front of the entire neighborhood, and said either you leave now, or you will have one pair of pants, one top, one bra, and one pair of panties. The rest I burn in front of all of our neighbors.

 

She apparently got it, as the last of the lighter fluid was covering the bags. She has a fit, grabs the bags and puts them in her car. Took weeks to get the lighter fluid smell out. She relocated to her mother's, and he proceeded to have the locks changed, security system installed etc. etc. She did not take well to being defeated.

 

I should add that he also sprinkled a little of the fluid her way, so that might have just intimidated her.

 

 

This example could be considered when you build up the courage to take severe action.

 

 

OP,

Before you do anything this radical, speak to a lawyer.find out where you stand and what your options are.