JuneL Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 As far as the "future inspirations" go, I told him, point blank "If you were to join the Air National Guard, I do not think we could be together because you would be gone a lot" and he said "It is only part time and two weekends a month after training." It's the military, it is not so easy. It just told me that I would always be second to the job. That is why I get so mad about his future aspirations. I even challenged him and "Let your dreams go and let Jesus guide you." And who’s to say becoming a pilot in the military is not God’s plan for him? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 As far as the "future inspirations" go, I told him, point blank "If you were to join the Air National Guard, I do not think we could be together because you would be gone a lot" and he said "It is only part time and two weekends a month after training." It's the military, it is not so easy. It just told me that I would always be second to the job. That is why I get so mad about his future aspirations. I even challenged him and "Let your dreams go and let Jesus guide you." What does that even mean? Why should he "let his dreams go?" Why should anyone? Do you want someone who has NO future aspirations? Billions of people around the world are able to have a job, fulfill their dreams, and still have a romantic relationship. Why not him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Author Share Posted June 1, 2018 (edited) What does that even mean? Why should he "let his dreams go?" Why should anyone? Do you want someone who has NO future aspirations? Billions of people around the world are able to have a job, fulfill their dreams, and still have a romantic relationship. Why not him? I never said that he should not have aspirations, but he should know when to walk away. He said he was just sending out applications to see if they were interested, but he needs a more solid path. I told him about my dream to be an interior designer, but I did it for a little bit and realized that the economy was not there for it. So, I let God know my frustration and I was led back into college for a business degree. I surrendered my desires for my dream for a more realistic route that will serve me. Basically, I told him Jesus' plan is above our own. Put God first. Edited June 1, 2018 by natalie2018 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 I never said that he should not have aspirations, but he should know when to walk away. He said he was just sending out applications to see if they were interested, but he needs a more solid path. I told him about my dream to be an interior designer, but I did it for a little bit and realized that the economy was not there for it. So, I let God know my frustration and I was led back into college for a business degree. I surrendered my desires for my dream for a more realistic route that will serve me. Basically, I told him Jesus' plan is above our own. Put God first. This is honestly the first time I've ever heard anyone assert that going into the United States military is indicative of someone not having a solid path. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Author Share Posted June 1, 2018 This is honestly the first time I've ever heard anyone assert that going into the United States military is indicative of someone not having a solid path. It's not that, but he said he did not know if he would get the job, but he would rather try and fail than let the chance go by. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 It's not that, but he said he did not know if he would get the job, but he would rather try and fail than let the chance go by. That's great attitude! I'm sure he will meet a decent girl who appreciates him for who he is. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 It's not that, but he said he did not know if he would get the job, but he would rather try and fail than let the chance go by. Also not a bad thing..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Author Share Posted June 1, 2018 (edited) I'm not going to keep bad mouthing him. He did a lot of sweet things for me. He always came up after class and told me to drive safe, he gave me a DVD to watch when I was sick, he checked up on me by phone when I was sick, he sent me job ads that he thought applied to my career aspirations, he would give me his jacket when I was cold, and when he would hug it felt like there warmest hug I had ever received. In his letter, a line that actually got me was when he mentioned how I looked pretty jn glasses. I told him I hated glasses weeks before because I thought I looked like a nerd. I was working on our group project late one night and he told me to go to sleep because I was sick and he did the rest of my part. On my birthday, he bought me a really pen and said "I needed to get you a pen that you could see your reflection in so you could see how beautiful you really are." I mean, you could not script some of the things he said and did. But he still frustrated me. Even some guys in class said I could do better because they said there is something wrong with a guy that has never dated. He could have thought I was mad when we were all talking on the last day. I thanked and hugged everyone in our group except him. I admit, I was a little curt, but people were talking about me and him, so I just said "thanks for sharing yourself" so no one would say stuff. He was not drop dead gorgeous, but he definitely was not ugly. Edited June 1, 2018 by natalie2018 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Author Share Posted June 1, 2018 That's great attitude! I'm sure he will meet a decent girl who appreciates him for who he is. I'm not trying to be mean, but it will literally take an act of God. He is sweet, but that is not everything. Link to post Share on other sites
donotmicrowave Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 You must be God’s personal assistant. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Author Share Posted June 1, 2018 You must be God’s personal assistant. I'm not taking anything away from him. I'm saying it will literally need to be a person that will carry his soul away and I know he will not look for it. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 You must be God’s personal assistant. I disagree. Rather, she’s more like God’s personal speaker. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 1, 2018 Author Share Posted June 1, 2018 (edited) I disagree. Rather, she’s more like God’s personal speaker. What do you mean? As I said, it would take an act of God because he does not seem to let that type of stuff distract him. I mean, admire that he does not look for love. It is a great trait, but I think when it comes knocking he does not open the door either. You can look back at my last post. I am not going to bad mouth him anymore and I mentioned how sweet he was to me, but there is more to it than just being sweet. I do regret the things I posted in my anger. I know if he read that he would never talk to a woman again. But I honestly pray that God helps him. I became very religious out of the emptiness I felt from not having love and God has been kind to me. That is the love that matters the most. Edited June 1, 2018 by natalie2018 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 God gave people their own brains so he didn't have to micromanage their lives for them. Despite getting tricked and pressured into writing a long repetitive letter to you, this young man has his life on track, whereas you are depending on God to do everything for you. You need to just take responsibility for your own life since God gave you a brain to do it. God has bigger issues to work on than making some guy bend to your will. Your thinking is delusional and it's partly because of your upbringing and partly because of your over-reliance on faith. You can blow off every other thing I've said to you if you want, but I promise you this one thing is true: No one has more control over your life than you do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 (edited) God gave people their own brains so he didn't have to micromanage their lives for them. Despite getting tricked and pressured into writing a long repetitive letter to you, this young man has his life on track, whereas you are depending on God to do everything for you. You need to just take responsibility for your own life since God gave you a brain to do it. God has bigger issues to work on than making some guy bend to your will. Your thinking is delusional and it's partly because of your upbringing and partly because of your over-reliance on faith. You can blow off every other thing I've said to you if you want, but I promise you this one thing is true: No one has more control over your life than you do. Yeah, it is up to us to follow his path or not. J told me the something like what you said. He said he believed that God may guide us sometimes, but that he leaves mortals to make their own choices. I can just pray that and follow what I think is His will. My identity is in Christ. As I told him, let Christ take over your life and surrender your dreams and desires to Him and you will not be disappointed. God gives us each one person we are meant to be with. We just must be patient and wait for that person in His time. It is important not to give into temptation. I do think J is a good person deep down. I really do. He has to just wait for God's timing. If I stay in contact with J, then I am blocking my future husband. So, this is for the best. Edited June 2, 2018 by natalie2018 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 What religion are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 What religion are you? Born-again. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Born-again. Is playing hard to get consistent with your religion? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 Is playing hard to get consistent with your religion? Our minister says it is up to the man to pursue. The woman will not have to pursue a Godly man. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 I didn’t know that was a denomination. Is he born again as well? Edit: and he did pursue- maybe not the way you wanted, but he definitely did pursue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 He is a non-denominational Christian as he puts it. More of a spiritual Christian. Yes, he pursued, but not in a proper manner for courtship. His letter, while flattering, could be also interpreted as sexual harassment as a product of lust, not love. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 He is a non-denominational Christian as he puts it. More of a spiritual Christian. As a "non-denominational Christian" I'm curious what you mean by this. By the way, do you belong to a particular denomination? I'm sorry if you've said already and I missed this. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Okay...his letter was a bit over-the-top and nutty to be sure, but I don’t think he was harassing you by any means, and if you want to see an approach fueled by lust, join tinder. He was very kind and gracious. You’re the one who was rubbing up against him after you rejected him, and complained about him giving you physical space. I don’t get it. I don’t see how you can refuse to be friends with men out of respect for your future husband, and at the same time refuse to date a man unless you can see marrying him. How can you know so quickly? Unless you believe in arranged marriages or something. Or love at first sight. I’m not religious, so this may not apply to you at all, but it seems crazy to expect a guy you have never dated before to declare his love for you and put you first in front of his own self-respect and his career aspirations. That’s what crazy future stalker/abusers/sociopaths/control-freaks do. And I’ve dated a few of them. Maybe stick to guys from your church...? Your expectations just seem really, really out there. Or maybe in the south or religious enclaves this is all normal. Are you in Northern California? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author natalie2018 Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 As a "non-denominational Christian" I'm curious what you mean by this. By the way, do you belong to a particular denomination? I'm sorry if you've said already and I missed this. Born again. He identifies as Christian, worships God, and believe in the teachings of the Bible, but he does not belong to a specific church. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Born again. "Born again" is not a denomination. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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