Author SerPundnes Posted March 4, 2018 Author Posted March 4, 2018 this would have to be some bomb ass booty for me to even consider spending one more second in this mixed up situation. These dudes hanging around are most certainly either waiting to, have already, or still are, messing around with this woman. You will never have piece of mind in this relationship. You have to be someone who already has a lot of "women friends" prior to getting into a situation like this. Then everyone basically sleazes around the whole time. If you're a novice normal dude (like me, and I have been in your situation and tried rationalizing it the whole time, driving myself crazy) it WILL NOT work out. Could you tell me a bit about the situation you were in? Really want to hear. PM me if that's better.
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 Thanks for the response! I have not met this guy. They planned the trip like right before she met me, that's why I don't think I have anything to say about it, agreed? She told me a little about this guy, and she said "when you meet him, don't be afraid that he is not talking too much with you, because he is observing you to see if you're a good match for me. He cares about me that way". At this point I'm not holding much hope for this relationship. I think her and my view of what a relationship is is totally different. I think you are right to give up hope. The more you write, the worse this is. This buddy who won't talk to you much is biding his time until your GF wakes up & dates him. She explained that to me so I wouldn't have to worry .. Loads of bull, if you ask me. And about the 2 weeks vacation she told me "we are traveling around, so I don't know if we got seperate rooms or even seperate beds in all places, but that dosen't matter". I feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing, not just the vacation, although that's 90% of it .. Oh hell no. Since she made the travel plans before she met you, you are right that you can't balk much but since she now has a BF you'd think that she would make darn sure she had her own bed, even if they couldn't afford their own rooms. 1
Marc878 Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 Too much drama and baggage. I wouldn't waste my time on this. 1
Author SerPundnes Posted March 4, 2018 Author Posted March 4, 2018 I think you are right to give up hope. The more you write, the worse this is. This buddy who won't talk to you much is biding his time until your GF wakes up & dates him. Oh hell no. Since she made the travel plans before she met you, you are right that you can't balk much but since she now has a BF you'd think that she would make darn sure she had her own bed, even if they couldn't afford their own rooms. Yeah, I've expressed what I felt about her going on this vacation, but she said I didn't have to worry .. I guess I was hoping she would realize how this is feeling for me before she left, buuut just said good bye and shes leaving in 12 hours with her so called best friend .. Really don't feel comfortable and really don't like this situation ..
Author SerPundnes Posted March 4, 2018 Author Posted March 4, 2018 She is staying at an airport hotel tonight because of early flight tomorrow. And she just sent me a snap of the room with a queen bed where she and her friend will be sleeping, and added "We didn't get seperate beds wich we asked about .. oh well". I have to say I have a hard time relaxing at the moment.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 She is staying at an airport hotel tonight because of early flight tomorrow. And she just sent me a snap of the room with a queen bed where she and her friend will be sleeping, and added "We didn't get seperate beds wich we asked about .. oh well". I have to say I have a hard time relaxing at the moment. You gotta be kidding me 3
Purrrfect Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 This woman doesn’t seem to know boundaries or what’s appropriate. She absolutely should not be going on a vacation with a guy friend or having one move in when she’s dating you. She should have discussed this with you first. Honestly it seems she doesn’t really care or respect your relationship. 2
Space Ritual Posted March 4, 2018 Posted March 4, 2018 She is staying at an airport hotel tonight because of early flight tomorrow. And she just sent me a snap of the room with a queen bed where she and her friend will be sleeping, and added "We didn't get seperate beds wich we asked about .. oh well". I have to say I have a hard time relaxing at the moment. I have to say I have a hard time finding one reason to keep dating her. Bro, look at this thread. You have not been able to come up with ONE SOLID REASON to continue this farce. I just want you to know that your situation is far from unique. Sketchy, Shady and Shifty people, like your girlfriend, (which she TOTALLY is) have followed the same excuse playbook since it was carved into hieroglyphics. Too much drama for 3 months and this chick is already sleeping around on you. You know this. All of this has been tailored by her to keep you around just a bit longer so she can get a full read on what kind of Shenanigans you'll put up with. Sketchy, Shady and Shifty are great attributes in a woman if you are writing a novel or a screenplay. They are not attribute in women you consider giving your heart to. She is all three. Run screaming into the night...into the wood.....anywhere that she won't be. 2
Author SerPundnes Posted March 4, 2018 Author Posted March 4, 2018 You gotta be kidding me Exactly .. Just tried to explain how I felt, but she kept being nasty to me and telling me how I have to trust her and it's totally normal to do this .. She just hung up the phone in the end ..
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 I have to say I have a hard time finding one reason to keep dating her. Bro, look at this thread. You have not been able to come up with ONE SOLID REASON to continue this farce. I just want you to know that your situation is far from unique. Sketchy, Shady and Shifty people, like your girlfriend, (which she TOTALLY is) have followed the same excuse playbook since it was carved into hieroglyphics. Too much drama for 3 months and this chick is already sleeping around on you. You know this. All of this has been tailored by her to keep you around just a bit longer so she can get a full read on what kind of Shenanigans you'll put up with. Sketchy, Shady and Shifty are great attributes in a woman if you are writing a novel or a screenplay. They are not attribute in women you consider giving your heart to. She is all three. Run screaming into the night...into the wood.....anywhere that she won't be. Yeah, I know .. I really know I should just call quits. And I prob will when shes back from her vacation with her best friend .. The thing is that everything is good when we are together, it's the 80% we're not together I always worry about .. I'm getting tired and can't really focus, I think shes pulling me down. Why do you think she wants to keep me around if shes dosen't care or respect the relationship? She wants her cake and eat it too?
kendahke Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 She is staying at an airport hotel tonight because of early flight tomorrow. And she just sent me a snap of the room with a queen bed where she and her friend will be sleeping, and added "We didn't get seperate beds wich we asked about .. oh well". I have to say I have a hard time relaxing at the moment. She just hung up the phone in the end .. and her number isn't on block? See my signature line below: 1
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 and her number isn't on block? See my signature line below: I'm pretty sure it would be on block by now, the thing is I got one of her bags with cloths and I got her appartment key .. She came by yesterday with it so she could go directly to me from the airport. Now I have to meet her and deliver this stuff to her. Your signature says it all ..
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 One bed? AND she expects you to just be happy about that? Well now...she's blatantly throwing her bad behavior into your face - and expects you to like it. She's trained you to find unacceptable behavior acceptable. Start changing it... end it now...there's not one reason to with one more hour. Exactly .. I told her I was not comfortable with it and she got mad and asked "What do you want me to do?! Sleep on the floor?" .. I've been in relationships before where I accepted way too much, I really thought I had it this time .. God damnit ..
1fish2fish Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 I'm pretty sure it would be on block by now, the thing is I got one of her bags with cloths and I got her appartment key .. She came by yesterday with it so she could go directly to me from the airport. Now I have to meet her and deliver this stuff to her. Your signature says it all .. No, you don't. You have her apt. key. Drop her bag off at her apt., lock the door leaving her key inside. Problem solved. 2
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 No, you don't. You have her apt. key. Drop her bag off at her apt., lock the door leaving her key inside. Problem solved. Haha, the thing is I don't feel like being a douchebag. She dosen't think anything she does is inappropriate. I got all the reasons in the world to become a douchebag, but in the end I'll be the one shes blaiming, and I don't really want that. She has zero self-knowledge of her own behaviour, I guess I could say ..
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 Just curious, do you think I'm to blame here aswell? As I didn't mention that I was uncomfortable with it til yesterday. The last few weeks I really haven't thought about it much, but yesterday it all really hit me, espacily when she sent me the snap of the bed they were gonna share ..
Zahara Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 (edited) Haha, the thing is I don't feel like being a douchebag. She dosen't think anything she does is inappropriate. I got all the reasons in the world to become a douchebag, but in the end I'll be the one shes blaiming, and I don't really want that. She has zero self-knowledge of her own behaviour, I guess I could say .. It has nothing to do with being a douchebag but everything to do with preserving your self-respect and enforcing a boundary. Of course she doesn't think she is doing anything inappropriate. Someone that loves/cares about you, prioritizes your feelings and compromises. She doesn't give two hoots about how you feel but feels entitled that you should just shut up and accept. In that aspect, you shouldn't (not sure why you are) be concerned as to what she thinks of you (you/we already know what she thinks of you when she has no issue sending you a picture of the bed!) but concerned about preserving your dignity. Edited March 5, 2018 by Zahara 2
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 But you did have it bothering you before yesterday because you started the thread before that. Yes, that is true, I guess it came stronger and stronger as the day they were leaving came .. And when I got the snap of the bed I seriously couldn't sit down .. 1
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 Exactly .. I told her I was not comfortable with it and she got mad and asked "What do you want me to do?! Sleep on the floor?" .. I've been in relationships before where I accepted way too much, I really thought I had it this time .. God damnit .. In any hotel you can call the front desk and ask for a folding-bed to be brought to your room. 2
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 Yes, that is true, I guess it came stronger and stronger as the day they were leaving came .. And when I got the snap of the bed I seriously couldn't sit down .. She is immature. She thinks and acts like a 15 year old. Everything is about her and you are the unfair parent that don't understand cool. I am very flexible when it comes to friends of opposite gender but the friendship has to be handled with respect and class. This 'girl' you're dating is far from being a woman still and doesn't have the mental capacity to understand adult principals. Three months dating is plenty for you to come to the conclusion you are not a match when it comes to morals, respect, consideration, and maturity. 1
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 It has nothing to do with being a douchebag but everything to do with preserving your self-respect and enforcing a boundary. Of course she doesn't think she is doing anything inappropriate. Someone that loves/cares about you, prioritizes your feelings and compromises. She doesn't give two hoots about how you feel but feels entitled that you should just shut up and accept. In that aspect, you shouldn't (not sure why you are) be concerned as to what she thinks of you (you/we already know what she thinks of you when she has no issue sending you a picture of the bed!) but concerned about preserving your dignity. Do you think she will get an reaction if I leave her? I'd hate to see her use her specialites and just /ignore me forever .. I would feel I've lost .. We were talking about exes a while back, and she concluded and said out loud "Huh, so you really accept alot from what I hear you telling me now" .. I guess it was a mistake telling her anything ..
Author SerPundnes Posted March 5, 2018 Author Posted March 5, 2018 She is immature. She thinks and acts like a 15 year old. Everything is about her and you are the unfair parent that don't understand cool. I am very flexible when it comes to friends of opposite gender but the friendship has to be handled with respect and class. This 'girl' you're dating is far from being a woman still and doesn't have the mental capacity to understand adult principals. Three months dating is plenty for you to come to the conclusion you are not a match when it comes to morals, respect, consideration, and maturity. If it matters, she is 24 and I'm 27 .. She should be acting more adult by now, yeah?
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 If it matters, she is 24 and I'm 27 .. She should be acting more adult by now, yeah? Yes she should but some people mentally and emotionally mature much later in life and it doesn't sound like it's about to happen to her. I am sure it can be embarrassing to you at times. It's not a matter of who wins and who loses. This is your life and your precious time. At 27, if you are starting to think of settling down, she is a huge waste of your time. Sure she's nice and fun when you're together, so will be a more mature woman. 3
Zahara Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 Do you think she will get an reaction if I leave her? I'd hate to see her use her specialites and just /ignore me forever .. I would feel I've lost .. What would you have lost? A woman that has no boundaries and doesn't have any respect or care for your feelings or what it means to act appropriately in a relationship? That's your scorecard? This kind of mentality will keep you stuck longer than you should. This is about your self-respect. You're more concerned about her reaction than you are your dignity. Who cares what reaction she has -- if you're really bothered by who wins -- you do because she is not relationship material. You should want more and believe you deserve better. We were talking about exes a while back, and she concluded and said out loud "Huh, so you really accept alot from what I hear you telling me now" .. I guess it was a mistake telling her anything .. She thinks you are a doormat. And you are displaying that exact same behavior you did in your past relationships with her. Now she knows you'll tolerate just about everything just to have something. A person that cares and loves you, wouldn't use that against you. The one that uses that against you is the one you get away from. 4
kendahke Posted March 5, 2018 Posted March 5, 2018 I'm pretty sure it would be on block by now, the thing is I got one of her bags with cloths and I got her appartment key .. She came by yesterday with it so she could go directly to me from the airport. Now I have to meet her and deliver this stuff to her. Your signature says it all .. I'd drop that off at one of her friends' place and be done with her. 2
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