bachdude Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Versace, do you think I should just wait to see if he ever contacts me because I’m getting a strong feeling to block him and be done with all this. Recent change is right.... how am I going to manage the rest? I’m too anxious and it’s hard to get back confidence once you start off bad like this. I don’t know if I can cope with it Cookiesanddough, if you keep running from these situations, how will you get over your tendency to be anxious? There are some really good signs he’d be a good catch. For example, He maintains a good sense of humor. I think his response “Well I’ll be damned” was pretty funny! He seems to go with the flow. He didn’t get all hurt by your cutting the dating short and ignoring you. He looks to be giving this a second chance. Look, I think you can relax with this guy. To me he comes off pretty cool, laid back, and has a good sense of humor. He might be a really good guy for you! Haha There are a lot of opinions on this thread, but I think since you were the one to cut the dating short last time, he has been *exceptionally* cool about it, you dropped the “friend”word, and he said “I look foreword to hearing from you”, I recommend you taking the step this time to ask him out. You kind of make it up to him by doing this. Personally, I think it would be a nice gesture. Maybe wait a few days and say, “Hey Ben, I hope you’re having a good time in PA! When you get back in town, I’d love to pick up where we left off in November. I’ll even pay this time! Enjoy the rest of your time in PA!” Then relax! But don’t run from your anxiety. You need to face it and push through it to get over it. Good luck! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Mkn1010 Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 I’ve never experienced a direct romantic rejection. I just have to say LOL - the above sounds like such a terrible affliction, I can definitely now see why you’re terrified to be the initiator with the above type of history behind you! Never been rejected before = odds of getting rejected are clearly exponentially low = fear of being rejected is clearly entirely unfounded. Conclusion = very low self esteem. Well done for reaching out, but I agree with the posters who said your messages were cringeworthy. But this whole thread has been hilarious and once again continued for many pages over nothing! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) I just have to say LOL - the above sounds like such a terrible affliction, I can definitely now see why you’re terrified to be the initiator with the above type of history behind you! Never been rejected before = odds of getting rejected are clearly exponentially low = fear of being rejected is clearly entirely unfounded. Conclusion = very low self esteem. Well done for reaching out, but I agree with the posters who said your messages were cringeworthy. But this whole thread has been hilarious and once again continued for many pages over nothing! Thanks, bachdude, your perspective!!! Mkn1010 Maybe but I don’t think it’s unfounded because the more you date the more likely it becomes. A basement dweller who has never asked a girl out in his life has a direct rejection rate of 0 too. And I not saying I’ve never been rejected at all, I get rejected all the time, we all do when someone doesn’t approach us or ask us out or doesn’t like us etc. I defined it as I’ve never had my heart broken or been broken up with, but I just havent had enough experiences. Also I think I don’t really want a relationship or even to date but I’m trying hard to tell myself I will want it and I will get there because of FOMO. My messages were a bit much. The one where I said something like “about about” didn’t make any sense and I don’t think he understood it. But does it really matter? If this guy rejects me, I don’t care. My GAF is on E and I have a horrific migraine. Thank you Edited January 13, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) Actually this thread can be closed now. I appreciate all of the help and input. I care not about the outcome of this (with this person) anymore so I will probably no longer be speaking on it therefore this thread should be closed. It’s prob gone on way longer than it should , sorry . Thank you so much Edited January 13, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Are you saying you really are gonna block this guy??? Has he done something to offend you or make you feel bad? Has anything at all negative happened??? Also, obviously mods will do whatever they see as appropriate given that you've asked to shut the thread down, but I dont really think its fair to ask them to since you sucked us all in to this thread and we've been reading and participating for 9 pages. We kind of have a stake in it now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) Nvm I’m hopeless Edited January 13, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Nvm I’m hopeless Have you slept at all since last night, Cookies? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 I am afraid to experience a direct romantic rejection(Like a man dumping you or breaking your heart or even saying he doesn’t want to see you again or showing it by not contacting ever again) I’ve never experienced a direct romantic rejection. What about that exbf who was in a rship with someone else last year? You begged and begged for another chance but in the end he knew he couldn't trust you. If I remember correctly, you had also expressed a desire to sabotage his new relationship, but I can't remember the details. I was about to ask this. You spent a very long time hassling and trying to hurt an ex, who not only didn't forgive you but explicitly told you never to speak to him again. Is there a reason that situation doesn't count? For what it's worth, the vast majority of romantic rejection is nothing like that. Most men are embarrassed, not rude when they tell you they aren't interested, and very few former lovers will tell you to eff off and die. Yes, of course it stings a bit, but think of it this way: would you really want to be with someone who didn't want to be with you? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) Have you slept at all since last night, Cookies? I have not. He texted me this morning and I don't know how to respond. I don't think I want to date anymore at all so I really don't know what to do You guys are right. I forgot about it. It does count as a rejection. We split up and got back together a few times. split again and this time he was cold and just said don't talk to him again , blocked/doorslammed/shunned me everywhere and it hurt like crazy for a long time. He did want me to f off and die. He actually blocked me on pinterest. PINTEREST. Like wtf? That is pointless, and it actually hurt the worst because you can't follow people who block you and half the stuff that I pinned was on his account and I needed it for artistic inspiration. Anyway, I thought I deserved that, so I never counted it. Plus I had also since forgotten about it. But it was a rejection, and a harsh one. Edited January 13, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted January 13, 2018 Author Share Posted January 13, 2018 (edited) So I guess it is not the fear of rejection since I have been through that and I just fared fine...I don't know what it is then, but I really want to not contact this person again...That probably counts as 'ghosting' though? I don't think it should. It's just crazy to me that counts as ghosting... especially considering his lackluster response to me Edited January 13, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 So I guess it is not the fear of rejection since I have been through that and I just fared fine...I don't know what it is then, but I really want to not contact this person again...That probably counts as 'ghosting' though? I don't think it should. It's just crazy to me that counts as ghosting... especially considering his lackluster response to me Don't do anything at all right now. Go to bed! You'll be thinking more clearly "in the morning." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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