Shortage of good men? or good-looking men?

[Chilli]

lt common knowledge their so called standards are a bit of a joke for most , ahh , double standards maybe. Pretty sure most of them still see a 20yr old somehow when they look in the mirror or jump on scales.

 

Believe me as a guy in that exact age brackets or abouts, it's damn near impossible finding a good women too, especially if you want looks and a good body too and preferably sane.

The pickings are soooo slim when you get into those ages l don;t have any trouble getting women the trouble l had was finding one l'd even wanna bother with. There; millions of them out there but very few l'd go for .

Edited November 15, 2017 by Chilli

[Chris2016]

Oh yeah, preach it brah! LOL.

 

Here is why you hear this more from women looking for good men vs men looking for "good" women...

 

For one....At the very basic there are probably 20 good looking women for every 1 good looking guy...Yeah, I know looks are subjective, but let's face it....A woman can be pretty homely, yet if she has a great body, she'll be desired...For guys, it wont work that way....If You're ugly, then that's pretty much what you are...

 

Then you add the fact that for a guy to be considered "good' by many or most women's standards, then he better have a good career...reasonable to exceptional intelligence, ample cock size and great sex skills, family oriented/at least willing to consider fatherhood/ability to be a soleprovider if kids are on the table..etc....

 

For most guys it's way more simple...Most guys are happy if they can find a reasonably attractive woman who isn't a nagging b!tch , is relatively good natured and warm, won't cheat on them and won't get too fat...The rest of the other stuff that makes guys "good" isn't that important to many guys looking for a woman...

 

Once you take age into consideration, then the "good" guys really become Unicorns...Most are already taken and aren't leaving...The others are either out of shape beer gut types, bitter from being taken to the cleaners in a divorce, low test so not interested in sex/women all that much anymore, or they may be career students/ or weed smoking basement dwellers with no purpose or goals in life...As a guy just over 50, I really am surprised at the amount of my personal friends that either have zero interest in women anymore..or just content in their situations living with women they barely talk to let alone be romantic with, and bury themselves in their buddies, the ball games and hobbies..

 

I think women are generally more idealistic than men are, hence the constant crying of "no good guys"...they're shooting far higher than they should be for what they bring to the table or have been given some false sense of desirablility from guys who really had no other interest in them but for sex and they couldn't see the game...

 

TFY

[Chris2016]

LOL. So what are you implying?! ROFL!

 

Poor reading comprehension skills?

 

The problem is not the 99 wanting the 1.

 

The answer if settling for the bottom of the barrel was never

said, suggested or even implied.

 

The problem is they are living in self denial (you know where

that is on the East bank of the Nile opposite of Alexandria) and

or self delusional in that they can pull in the manicorn (man/unicorn)

AKA the 1 percenter, the "10", the upper 3rd tier.

 

Everything in life is a trade off. Mating up is no different.

 

The problem is not that too many people are reading fairy tails, but

that they are believing those stories.

 

Everyone wants the best deal they can make. Though when going to

a horse trade one will not get much success when they bring a

donkey, mule, or a jackass to the table and try to get a thoroughbred.

[guest569]

There isn't a shortage, maybe they just can't find the available men.

 

George Clooney and Brad Pitt and Harry?? Pass on all three. Maybe harry at a stretch if he is nice not like Charlie.

[Chris2016]

Heck yeah, preach it on sista! So as women get older their percentage of men they're aiming for should increase? Like a 100 year old woman should be aiming for the 99% of men?

 

Isn't there a simple supply and demand issue going on? We can say all day that this forum (all forums) are biased by people coming on here to complain, but I think the numbers say the truth.

 

Colleges/universities are graduating more women than men these days. We are ultimately producing more college-educated women than men. Currently, in the 24-35 year old age group, the number is around 37.5% of women holding bachelors degrees vs 29.5% of men. Things have changed drastically from just 25 years ago.

 

That leaves women at marrying age looking for men "at their level" and not finding them. Or at least...there are simply more women than men. Sure, we can go out and see all kinds of nice looking men on any given day. But there are more of us women with the "qualities" people are looking for. I realize I'm not getting past the surface here, though.

 

This doesn't even account for the fact that in general, once you get past the initial marrying age (early to mid 20s), men have more options than women. Sure, women can marry younger men and do. But usually, men marry both younger and at their age, and sometimes older. Women tend to marry younger very rarely, and try to stay around their age. We also look older. But those older men are also being taken by women THEIR age (and even YOUNGER than us!!).

 

I just think there is some reality to this, as much as we don't want to admit it.

[CptInsano]

Heck yeah, preach it on sista! So as women get older their percentage of men they're aiming for should increase? Like a 100 year old woman should be aiming for the 99% of men?

 

I've been groped by an octogenarian before, so that assumption may not be completely off.

[Chris2016]

I've been groped by an octogenarian before, so that assumption may not be completely off.

 

Not cool #MeToo

[Mysterio]

I am more of a face guy. So I could handle a slightly heavy woman with a great face.

 

I don't know what the perfect face is. For myself. I think that I give off that cute look. Not Sexy, but oh there's my Mysterio. If I was an actor. They would put me in the good guy roles.

 

I have small ears I am clean shaven and shave my head. I am a Black male age 46. People still think I am 10 to 12 yrs younger. I always get about age 34 or so. I am soft spoken and I get a lot of people saying that I am spritual. I am 5'9 and 213 lbs. I look fit.

[elaine567]

We also look older.

 

Women do not look older we look our age, as do men, only we have been set the impossible task by men and society, of trying to emulate 17 yos for our whole life, whereas men get to age normally and no-one continually compares them against 17 yo "perfection".

[Southern Sun]

Women do not look older we look our age, as do men, only we have been set the impossible task by men and society, of trying to emulate 17 yos for our whole life, whereas men get to age normally and no-one continually compares them against 17 yo "perfection".

 

Sorry, I didn't mean "We look older" that way. When I read it back, I realized it may have sounded funny. I meant we sometimes look to date older men as well as men our own age. I was referring to our smaller dating pool, vs men's widening dating pool, as we age (to a certain extent, at least).

[elaine567]

Sorry, I didn't mean "We look older" that way. When I read it back, I realized it may have sounded funny. I meant we sometimes look to date older men as well as men our own age. I was referring to our smaller dating pool, vs men's widening dating pool, as we age (to a certain extent, at least).

 

I think "some" men have a widening dating pool.

I have a feeling that dating success does not change that much as we age. Men who were desirable to women at 20 are still desirable at 50.

Others who were left behind at 20 and maybe scraped through and managed to find a "good woman", will not be that successful cast back on the dating scene; they are just as undesired as they were at 20.

I think some men having acquired knowledge, money and influence can be more successful later on, but for the average Joe, I think not...

[CptInsano]

Whether it gets easier for guys as we age depends strongly on who you are looking for. Yes, if you are that guy in his early 40s, with a designer t-shirt, a baseball cap turned backwards, sitting in a sports bar near campus, you will have a hard time.

 

If you were able to lead a regular life, stay healthy and somewhat fit, and don't mind women your own age, you will have a much easier time. I know that it has gotten easier for me and my friends, and we are getting approached far more than we used to.

 

The reason being that a lot of men focus on women much younger, but men also have a higher mortality rate, or our more risky lifestyle catches up with us in other ways. Those who simply maintained a positive attitude and a somewhat realistic expectation of who they are compatible with will have a much easier time later on, IMHO.

[road]

Women do not look older we look our age, as do men, only we have been set the impossible task by men and society, of trying to emulate 17 yos for our whole life, whereas men get to age normally and no-one continually compares them against 17 yo "perfection".

 

Perfection is 21. Their bodies look more of a woman then a teenage

girl.

 

A woman should never feel the need to dress as a teenager.

Though many dress frumpy old lady spinsterish, elderly nerdish

which is just as bad.

 

Women feel they need makeup. A little lipstick is all they need.

Afraid to have grey hair. Worse then gray hair as they get older

they keep getting their hair cut shorter. I never heard a man of

a man not getting turned on by a woman with long hair.

 

Many women will religiously get their gray hair colored and nails

done yet will never hit the gym to stay toned and wear clothes that

will show off their fitness.

 

Men want to see curves in the right places, not muffin pants,

muffin shoes.

[Cookiesandough]

I'm noticing lots of hot guys available to me lately I'm just too shy. That's my #1 problem my anxiety which is not obvious to anyone who knows me because I have been doing "fake it 'til you make it" but I analyze everything and I am extremely anxious. When a man talks to me it's hard to focus on what he's saying sometimes. I can be distracted by subtle facial expressions like an eyebrow twitch or something else in the environment. Discomfort/boredom and concentration can look similar.

[CptInsano]

Perfection is 21. Their bodies look more of a woman then a teenage

girl. [...]

 

At the same time I couldn't deal with a 21 yo. I've been there, experienced that. There is something quite attractive in being with somebody who also has been around the block and knows how precious time becomes and what truly matters.

[nospam99]

Women do not look older we look our age, as do men, only we have been set the impossible task by men and society, of trying to emulate 17 yos for our whole life, whereas men get to age normally and no-one continually compares them against 17 yo "perfection".

 

Sorry, I have to disagree here about looking 'our age'. I find that people 'look' the age of 'average' people of a particular age. I've always had a baby face and a 'reasonably' trim body. I'm 63 and people who don't know guess as low as 49. (Of course I find that flattering. I've been told if I dyed my grey hair I'd look even younger.) I'm on OLD now, 'hunting' for an LTR. I'm looking at women who list their ages in the 55-65 range. In terms of sagging bodies, wriggles, and jowlly faces I see an 'average' in that age range. BUT some can easily pass for late 40s (at least in photos - I met a 55 y/o who would have looked right in place in a crowd of 35 y/os) and some look older than my 89 y/o mom (my relatively 'youthful' appearance probably has a genetic component). I think it's all in the skin. And maybe some of the older looking people ignored warnings about sun exposure.

[Cookiesandough]

I think a lot of men look younger than their age than women for a lot of reasons especially if they're active(being out of shape/overweight can be aging on appearance and hormonal imbalances can stem from it making it worse. Being too thin can be aging too but that comes from soft tissue lack mostly on the face which men have more liberty with having)and live a healthy lifestyle. First, bone structure. Men have stronger bones, which is especially apparent with age. Less bone loss. Bone structure is the 'hanger' of all the tissues. High cheekbones create structural support that stops tissues from sagging and men tend to have stronger mandibles (jaw) and higher zygomas(the highest boney part of cheek).They also have more muscle on average which also adds structural support and HGH production. In addition, thicker skin. I think that's why you see some ethnicities seem to show signs of aging slower. They tend to have strong bone structure, more muscle mass, stronger epiderm , more collagen.

Edited November 15, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[TheWoman]

There is something quite attractive in being with somebody who also has been around the block and knows how precious time becomes and what truly matters.

 

I could pick up men in their 20s no problem. I could even keep them around cause I have enough money to pay for everything and Im fit and I look young. Do I want to, hell no! I want to meet evolved, emotionally mature people (this goes for friends too) who i feel on a par with. People who will grow with me, similar outlook and shared experiences. Therein lies the real challenge.

[somanymistakes]

Too much sun, smoking, no exercise, too much stress, a lot of things can make some people age much faster than others.

 

Watching classmates age over facebook, some get hit by life much harder than others, and it's not all about fitness or weight.

[bebe23]

Perfection is 21. Their bodies look more of a woman then a teenage

girl.

 

A woman should never feel the need to dress as a teenager.

Though many dress frumpy old lady spinsterish, elderly nerdish

which is just as bad.

 

Women feel they need makeup. A little lipstick is all they need.

Afraid to have grey hair. Worse then gray hair as they get older

they keep getting their hair cut shorter. I never heard a man of

a man not getting turned on by a woman with long hair.

 

Many women will religiously get their gray hair colored and nails

done yet will never hit the gym to stay toned and wear clothes that

will show off their fitness.

 

Men want to see curves in the right places, not muffin pants,

muffin shoes.

 

:sick::sick:

 

And secondly, I don't know what 'muffin shoes' are, but I'm gonna have to buy me a pair and wear tf out of those bad boys. Picturing bedroom slippers shaped like muffins.

Hubby doesn't care, it won't be like I'd wear them to bed or anything.

[William]

Moving away from physicality of women, old or young, and back to the topic of a shortage of good men and/or good looking men. Thanks in advance for your cooperation!

[Shining One]

Whenever I hear the phrase "there are no good men" from a woman around me, I always translate it in my head as: "I haven't been asked out in recent history by a good man that meets my requirements".

[Chris2016]

Whenever I hear the phrase "there are no good men" from a woman around me, I always translate it in my head as: "I haven't been asked out in recent history by a good man that meets my requirements".

 

That woman is probably not good looking enough (or use any other qualities) for what she's trying to get.

 

I recently came across the world's smallest couple. The lady blocked the guy, for a year! Thought he was lame, boring, etc. He was smitten from the beginning. Luckily, he kept it up, she came to her senses, and they became a loving couple, and both are still young (have window to make a kid).

 

If he tripped up terribly in his courtship (or gave up), or she was dead set on not coming around to him, they wouldn't have become the loving couple.

 

Either you adapt (girl or guy), or you don't. Then, come on LS and start a new account, and hope you're not here forever!

[guest569]

So basically, the shortage of good men all comes down to women not being attractive enough. Great logic.

 

IMO there are plenty of good men around but it is a matter of finding them, being in the right place at the right time and finding good compatibility. I think it's just something that people state out of frustration and doesn't really have any truth in it. It's what people say when they've had a bad run and met a lot of poor matches consecutively and get worn down and fed up. Or it makes themselves feel better to blame someone else.

[CptInsano]

So basically, the shortage of good men all comes down to women not being attractive enough. Great logic.

 

A mismatch between what is attainable and what is desired can definitely be the reason, at least as far as I have observed. I've met numerous people who held onto the concept of an ideal mate, even if that person was never within their reach.

 

IMO there are plenty of good men around but it is a matter of finding them, being in the right place at the right time and finding good compatibility. I think it's just something that people state out of frustration and doesn't really have any truth in it. It's what people say when they've had a bad run and met a lot of poor matches consecutively and get worn down and fed up. Or it makes themselves feel better to blame someone else.

 

I can agree on that one. I'm maybe compatible with 1% of the women I find physically attractive. Fortunately I find a decent number attractive, so it comes down to talking to enough women. Many people don't meet enough candidates IMHO in order to have a chance of finding the right one.