guest569 Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Nothing good can come from a post breakup heart to heart with her or her allies. You've handled this amazingly! Stay strong 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kvb92 Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 kvb92, posted #124 before I realized you're probably not going to meet with bff. Guess that ship has sailed? Not necessarily. If the bff is there when I drop her stuff off or pick my stuff up, we could wind up getting into a conversation. I love the way you suggested I handle the conversation by the way, need to always remind myself not to stoop to pettiness in a situation like this. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 You've been anything but petty, kvb92! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Agree with the others, there is no point having a conversation about this with her friend. Who cares how you come across in the break-up? You are doing what you feel is right for you - you need to learn to care less about what other people think. Be done with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kvb92 Posted October 14, 2017 Author Share Posted October 14, 2017 (edited) Is there a reason that they don't let you delete posts on this forum? Sometimes I just want to vent and then delete later. Edited October 14, 2017 by kvb92 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kvb92 Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 Really struggling, as I knew I would. We haven't spoken since I ended it that night and she said she wanted to get her stuff. She unfriended me on Facebook the next morning. I still haven't given her friends her stuff. I wish I was good at finding social circles, and easily latching onto them. But I'm just not. It's a sucky feeling knowing I'm going to struggle to bounce back more than she does. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I doubt you're going to struggle more than she does. It'll probably be equally hard for both of you and I would think, actually, harder for her because she's the one who messed up and is probably kicking herself for what she did. And the alternative to what you're going through now would have been staying in the R with the knowledge of what she'd done and her inability to admit it and deal with it. Not a pleasant place to be. Console yourself with the thought that it's a whole lot easier to get over a gf than it is to get over a cheating wife, which is what she may have ended up as if you'd continued. Also, console yourself with the thought you went out with your integrity, a big deal in the scheme of things. From what you described she was blatant in her disregard of you on the date in question and had you stayed in the R I'd have been surprised if you hadn't faced more of the same, only she may have resorted to doing it behind your back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kvb92 Posted October 17, 2017 Author Share Posted October 17, 2017 I doubt you're going to struggle more than she does. It'll probably be equally hard for both of you and I would think, actually, harder for her because she's the one who messed up and is probably kicking herself for what she did. It's the social circle difference. She has the friends she can fall back on for support, and can go out and do things with so she can meet other guys. Not having that is crushing me. And the alternative to what you're going through now would have been staying in the R with the knowledge of what she'd done and her inability to admit it and deal with it. Not a pleasant place to be. Agreed. Definitely a factor in my decision to end it all. The alternative seemed... unpleasant, to say the least. I did run into her friend today because she came into the place we worked at. We had brief small talk and she was nice to me. It's funny how I got along great with all her friends and made a good impression. LivingWaterPlease, you're making me curious about your life story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 It's the social circle difference. She has the friends she can fall back on for support, and can go out and do things with so she can meet other guys. Not having that is crushing me. Who cares what she does now? Seriously? Worry about you. If you don't have a good social circle, then work on improving that. That is not related to this girl. Or even dating. And now that you are single, it's a perfect time to build it up ! And although it might be a way to meet other girls, that should not be why you develop a good social circle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 It's the social circle difference. She has the friends she can fall back on for support, and can go out and do things with so she can meet other guys. Not having that is crushing me. Agreed. Definitely a factor in my decision to end it all. The alternative seemed... unpleasant, to say the least. I did run into her friend today because she came into the place we worked at. We had brief small talk and she was nice to me. It's funny how I got along great with all her friends and made a good impression. LivingWaterPlease, you're making me curious about your life story. Are you new in the city you live in? You probably mentioned that at the beginning of your thread. Is there a group you'd like to join? How about a church, would you be comfortable there? Or a gym? You could meet people there? Or volunteer with a charity that interests you? That would be a great way to meet good people it seems... Truthfully can't imagine why you're curious about my life story. Hopefully there's at least some wisdom in my posts to help some at times. You, though, you have your whole life ahead of you! An adventure! A mystery to unfold! Now that's exciting! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bpb2017 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 kvb92 I'm glad this happened to you. You know why? Because you've gained the experience and knowledge. Personally I think it was over before all this began. If the girl was actually into you and was level-headed she would have never done the 1st part in the first place. Some other points: She probably was never into long-haired guys, but because she was into him then now she likes long hair . When she asked if the other guy is gay, she was really asking to find out if he's single. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kvb92 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 kvb92 I'm glad this happened to you. You know why? Because you've gained the experience and knowledge. Personally I think it was over before all this began. If the girl was actually into you and was level-headed she would have never done the 1st part in the first place. Some other points: She probably was never into long-haired guys, but because she was into him then now she likes long hair . When she asked if the other guy is gay, she was really asking to find out if he's single. Your points are obvious, unnecessary, and insulting (given the accompanying smilies). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kvb92 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Are you new in the city you live in? You probably mentioned that at the beginning of your thread. Is there a group you'd like to join? How about a church, would you be comfortable there? Or a gym? You could meet people there? Or volunteer with a charity that interests you? That would be a great way to meet good people it seems... Truthfully can't imagine why you're curious about my life story. Hopefully there's at least some wisdom in my posts to help some at times. You, though, you have your whole life ahead of you! An adventure! A mystery to unfold! Now that's exciting! Nope, I've just struggled to meet people for as long as I can remember. Might have to chalk that one up to social anxiety. On the plus side, I had a burst of motivation today as a response to the hellish depression I've been in and my desire to get out of it. Inquired about a number of clubs and volunteering opportunities, including a fraternity. I'm going to be visiting the fraternity this weekend. So hopefully things are looking up. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 KVB92 - i'm 45. i still meet women who act this way in front of their BF's. HOT women. usually towards me. ultra friendly and flirty. I can see the BF's getting pissed about it. I never reciprocate but when the BF and them break up, i've slept with them. sometimes when still with the BF they have come onto me when he wasn't around. admittedly i did get some play out of them but didn't sleep with them. not that it matter's. letting another guy lick your chest when you have a BF is all people need to know about you as a person. don't need to have actual sex. but here is the thing, those dudes who date these women know they are just for fun. when i meet women like this, they are just for fun. you are better off without her because you developed feelings for her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Nope, I've just struggled to meet people for as long as I can remember. Might have to chalk that one up to social anxiety. On the plus side, I had a burst of motivation today as a response to the hellish depression I've been in and my desire to get out of it. Inquired about a number of clubs and volunteering opportunities, including a fraternity. I'm going to be visiting the fraternity this weekend. So hopefully things are looking up. Great that you've inquired about clubs and volunteering opportunities, kvb92! Way to go! Will be checking in with you to see how you're doing if you want to keep us update. Things take time (for everyone, even extroverts!) As far as meeting people goes, it just takes practice! The more practice you get the more comfortable you'll be with it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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