Author HopelessNick Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 I saw her at the pub last night. I was sitting down chatting. When she walked past me, I gave her a big wave. She took a quick look at me and continued walking while giving me a little wave that wasn't really a wave. I realized she was probably busy because when I looked at where she was going, she was actually comforting a friend. After that, she walked round the back of the bar while looking in my direction for a couple of seconds. There was no expression on her face. Do you think that counts as avoiding me? I'm scared to talk to her now. Link to post Share on other sites
heretoh3lp Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 I saw her at the pub last night. I was sitting down chatting. When she walked past me, I gave her a big wave. She took a quick look at me and continued walking while giving me a little wave that wasn't really a wave. I realized she was probably busy because when I looked at where she was going, she was actually comforting a friend. After that, she walked round the back of the bar while looking in my direction for a couple of seconds. There was no expression on her face. Do you think that counts as avoiding me? I'm scared to talk to her now. I think that she either had a lot going on or something is wrong. Talk to her about it. If you try and she puts your off, let it go, let her go. She will come to you if she's interested and she will tell you if something is really wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
MajesticUnicorn Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 Is this about the same girl that you posted about a few days ago? If so, it is clear from your previous thread that she is not interested. This interaction just reaffirms that. Sorry if that's harsh, but I think you should move on, it's for your own good. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 I saw her at the pub last night. I was sitting down chatting. When she walked past me, I gave her a big wave. She took a quick look at me and continued walking while giving me a little wave that wasn't really a wave. I realized she was probably busy because when I looked at where she was going, she was actually comforting a friend. After that, she walked round the back of the bar while looking in my direction for a couple of seconds. There was no expression on her face. Do you think that counts as avoiding me? I'm scared to talk to her now. That's how I would behave if I was avoiding a guy, yes. Minor engagement such as she displayed tends to get the message across. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 12, 2017 Author Share Posted October 12, 2017 So the fact she was drunk doesn't make a difference? Also, does this mean, I can't even have a conversation with her anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 12, 2017 Author Share Posted October 12, 2017 Like, I don't even care if she interested or not. I really like her and I really want to be her friend and chat because she's been so good to me before all this happened, but I feel like I can't even do that. The main reason I messaged her to chat was to chat, nothing else. I hardly get to talk to her because she's not often around. But now I feel like I can't even talk to her without bringing the wrong message/vibe, let alone hang out with her. It's so frustrating, because if I did what I did to her to a guy, we'd be friends already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 12, 2017 Author Share Posted October 12, 2017 Last thing I'm gonna say. I was at the pub tonight and we were kind of avoiding each other I think. I know I was. Then towards the end of the night, out of the blue, she rubbed my shoulder and said bye and walked off. I looked behind me slowly and saw her waving at me while walking and I waved back. Nothing to read into right? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Just talk to the woman already! She's avoiding you because she has concluded that you don't like her & she's embarrassed. But actually TALK to her earlier in the evening when you are both sober. Do not messenger her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yosemite Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 Last thing I'm gonna say. I was at the pub tonight and we were kind of avoiding each other I think. I know I was. Then towards the end of the night, out of the blue, she rubbed my shoulder and said bye and walked off. I looked behind me slowly and saw her waving at me while walking and I waved back. Nothing to read into right? I think that she did that because she could see that you got the message that she wasn’t interested and so she felt comfortable being more friendly because you seemed to understand that it was only as friends. I don’t know how old you are, but since you’re in college, you have to get used to interacting with women as women. It doesn’t matter that you could’ve acted that way with a guy and been his friend, she’s not a guy, your behavior needs to be different. I think where you went wrong was calling her “hun,” knocking on her door late at night, and texting and inviting her to your room late at night. Whether you meant it to or not, it comes off as you wanted to hook up. Since you only want to be friends, why don’t you text her only during the day, invite her to do friend activities like study together, stop inviting her to your room late at night. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 12, 2017 Share Posted October 12, 2017 When she told you there was nothing going on that weekend, that was the perfect opportunity to say, "Yeah, it's going to be quiet. Why don't you and I find something to do?" without sticking your neck out too far. She has told you "tired" or "busy" more than once, so I'm saying she's lukewarm and nothing more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 12, 2017 Author Share Posted October 12, 2017 She kinda gave me a sorry/sad look as she waved. Mixture of the 2. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 She kinda gave me a sorry/sad look as she waved. Mixture of the 2. Which backs up what Yosemite posted above. I think you'd be best to back off though, she has an impression of you now, not a great one. I think you should stop texting and keep it to speaking to her when you see her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 I haven't messaged her in a week. I've been kinda avoiding her and scared to even look at her for the past week. Tuesday, I was drunk and gave her the wave and yesterday was the goodbye wave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 She hasn't told anyone about me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 She hasn't told anyone about me. What is there to tell? You are some guy who lives in her dorm who is her FB friend. If you want to be more you need to talk to her earlier in the day while sober. I really don't get why you are seemingly incapable of doing this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 She hasn't told anyone about me. Her life doesn't revolve around you so why would she? You're her neighbour and acquaintance who got a bit ott with a foot in the door and late night (when she was asleep) texts just now is all. She doesn't see you as a threat, she just isn't into you but is pretty aware that you are into her. If you're too scared to speak to her I can't see how this will be a friendship or anything else. Maybe best to move on and find someone else to crush on. Link to post Share on other sites
JellyTot Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 It sounds to me like she knew you were interested and she didn't feel the same, so she backed off to let you down gently. She may come around to being friends if you back off and give more of a friend vibe. But imo it's difficult to be friends if one person has feelings for the other. I'd be inclined to let this one go and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 (edited) Honestly one final thing. I run a radio show at the uni, and I made a segment called love song dedications. I ran a survey asking people to dedicate a song to someone if they want. She dedicated the song "Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. She wrote "For putting in a lot of effort into the dorm and making me feel welcomed". Anything to read into that? Maybe she doesn't know I'm into her? Edited October 15, 2017 by HopelessNick Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Honestly one final thing. I run a radio show at the uni, and I made a segment called love song dedications. I ran a survey asking people to dedicate a song to someone if they want. She dedicated the song "Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. She wrote "For putting in a lot of effort into the dorm and making me feel welcomed". Anything to read into that? It's best never to assume things like this are about you. If she has suddenly changed, is not avoiding you but rather seeking you out, is talking to you a lot and keeping in touch then perhaps it is about you. If she hasn't done that then I would suggest this is about someone else. It's more likely to be the person she has been interacting the majority of her time with, a new found friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 She wrote my name Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 She wrote my name You do love to make communication complicated! Lol! A. Did she say 'Nick, please play this track with this dedication: 'Ring of Fire' 'For making me feel etc....' Or B. Was it Please play Ring of Fire with the message 'For Nick, for making me feel etc...' If A. Then the dedication was not for you. If B. Let's hope there are no other people who she knows named Nick - unless she used the latter and used your surname too. If B. It could be a peace offering or a nudge for you to ask her out on an actual date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 15, 2017 Author Share Posted October 15, 2017 It was a survey. And Nick isn't my real name. My name's not popular. Question - Who song would you like to be played? Answer - Ring of Fire. Question - Who to? Answer - Nick Question - Why Answer - For putting in a lot of effort into the dorm and making me feel welcomed Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 If B. It could be a peace offering or a nudge for you to ask her out on an actual date. Then it's one of the above. A peace offering for friendship or a nudge to ask her on an actual date instead of making it seem as if you want a late night hook up for sex. Just be clear and not all cryptic with what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Honestly one final thing. I run a radio show at the uni, and I made a segment called love song dedications. I ran a survey asking people to dedicate a song to someone if they want. She dedicated the song "Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. She wrote "For putting in a lot of effort into the dorm and making me feel welcomed". Anything to read into that? Maybe she doesn't know I'm into her? For Pete's sake: The girl likes you! She is backing off because she went full steam ahead for you and you did nothing. Now you have stopped talking to her so she had concluded that you don't return her interest. She's embarrassed because she thinks she made a fool of herself coming on to you like that since you have done nothing. This is a mess because you can't manage to speak to her sober & earlier in the day . I'm beginning to believe that your screen name is accurate -- you are acting hopelessly. Until you take action by talking to her during the day while sober -- face to face and not through messenger or text -- nothing will ever change & you will lose your chance. ugh. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessNick Posted October 16, 2017 Author Share Posted October 16, 2017 How do I talk to her if I have a feeling she doesn't want to even though I have no proof. Link to post Share on other sites
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