Author Cookiesandough Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 Please help. What should I do?? This is our convo: Oh ok. xzx, never heard of it. .. but lol for reals about being out of commission for that long? Me: yeah ;( sorry! Him: That's a bummer! I'm gonna be going to xxxx and will be staying there until Christmas Me: ohhh no! So in Oregon? Him: Lol no Xxxxx. It's like an hour and a half away. Not too far at all. Me: awww well dam man Him: Lol have we already reached the end of the Xxxx and Xxx saga? When do you leave? Me: Lol I guess so but it's been real. I dig you and felt a connect. I enjoyed our time together. By far my best tinder experience! Him: Yeah it's definitely been real so far. I like talking to you. I could probably get away with doing something Friday night. Do you leave Thursday or the next? Me: Tuesday So really could only do Monday (I thought he'd be busy) Him: Hey. I was being kinda facetious about the whole end of the saga thing. **** a busy schedule, I got a lil crush on you. Me: Aww that's super sweet :smilieface: I understand a busy schedule. We can keep in touch. Him: Cool. :shyface: I could do Xxxxx on Monday. ------ Ugh so what now? He's moving. Do you think we're gonna hookup Monday or what should I do? Just tell him never mind it's not going to work? He's moving for Christmas to be part of this musical thing. I don't know what to do ... help??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 (edited) I don't know what I'm going to do or how I get myself into these situations that I feel basically stuck in and they're absolutely pointless Seeing him Monday would just be a waste of time Edited October 3, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 (And honestly...the whole thing sounds ridiculous. You ask him out, he tells you he's busy this weekend but available next week, and your response is that you aren't available for a month because you will be travelling? If he has two brain cells to rub together he will figure out that you are just playing games.) How does he know??? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 P Do you think we're gonna hookup Monday or what should I do? Did you hear when he said he's not doing hook-ups? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Think of it like Tetris. Everyone on these boards has offered lots of helpful advice about how to play, techniques for advancing, preferred strategies, and so on, but you play by chucking your phone into the wall over and over again. "Why am I so bad at this game?" you fume, hurling it at the wall until sparks shoot out the sides. "Everyone else is so good at it." You keep failing because you aren't making a sincere effort. Please stop dating until you're willing to be honest about what it is you want. Otherwise you're just wasting everyone's time and doing a ton of damage in the process. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 He's got social anxiety. he said so. And he's very inexperienced for his age. But if you like him, try to slow down to his pace unless he stops moving at all. Sometimes a forward man or woman makes a person feel like hitting the brakes if they're nervous. So back off and sit close but let him make the kissy moves and lead and see if he CAN. PS - Bravo for him for calling in a domestic abuse! And for taking his dog on long walks. He has some good points. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 (edited) Did you hear when he said he's not doing hook-ups? Well if that's really the case and he's telling the truth there is 0 point in seeing him Gaeta. (& It might be true. I tried to be sexy as possible last time. I can't be more sexy with what I have to work with than what I tried.) What's the point of having dinner with someone who is just gonna leave (he told me he's leaving awhile ago) I can't even ask him to come to my place after because circumstances. And look yet again I'm in a sticky situation I don't know how to get out of. Lana banana your advice is pretty harsh... you said last time if I drank like I dated I'd have liver cirrhosis...but I see your overall point is what others are saying that I'm not good at dating and won't get anywhere so I should stop. Its true just can't deal when things do not go my way on the dating terrain. 2 dates may not seem like a lot to some people but I put so much energy into dating that it feels like a lot more to me. Plus that date is 5 hours long. I don't know... maybe he will come to his senses and cancel Monday or maybe I just have to. It's really hard to do at this point Its another pointless endeavor I've found myself going through Edited October 3, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Whyyyyy is everyone encouraging Cookies to date this guy when she is in absolutely NO condition to date?! She literally said she's dating him for 'research' purposes, she's not over her ex, she still wants her ex, she has thread after thread after thread documenting her wake of destruction after every guy she dates, and for some reason she's incredibly self-centered and doesnt seem to care how her actions affect those she dates People of LS (on this thread) please wake up and stop contributing to this dysfunction I feel so bad for this guy Another one bites the dust 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Well if that's really the case and he's telling the truth there is 0 point in seeing him Gaeta. Why would he lie on something like that? He said he does not do hook-ups, his words AND actions have demonstrated that already. If you go on another date and have sex with him you'll dump him the following day. Do you know how that would feel for him? Do you care at all he would feel mislead and used? If he suffers from anxiety like some have suggested do you how destructive this could be to him? You only want this guy because he's a challenge. That makes you a player. You are no different then these men that lie to get laid and then dissapear without a care for the hurt they leave behind. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 Whyyyyy is everyone encouraging Cookies to date this guy when she is in absolutely NO condition to date?! She literally said she's dating him for 'research' purposes, she's not over her ex, she still wants her ex, she has thread after thread after thread documenting her wake of destruction after every guy she dates, and for some reason she's incredibly self-centered and doesnt seem to care how her actions affect those she dates People of LS (on this thread) please wake up and stop contributing to this dysfunction I feel so bad for this guy Another one bites the dust No Dis I am not dating him for research I decided I just wanted to have some fun. I forgot he told me he was leaving. I was just seeing where it went. I can't help we're moving. I have been taking the advice given I really do feel bad or I would not be asking what I should do now. I told him I'd be gone for a month and I thought he had practice mondays but apparently he doesn't I felt that when he said end of our saga and I said "Lol I guess so but it's been real. I dig you and felt a connect. I enjoyed our time together. By far my best tinder experience" that would be that and we'd have had a lovely journey. But it's not never that easy for me. I just need help on what to say/do now I'm hopeless. Feeling really low Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 3, 2017 Author Share Posted October 3, 2017 Great I am maligned ? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 I feel bad for this guy, you are confusing as hell cookies. You confuse me, you confuse these poor men, and you confuse yourself. Your dating life is a mess, and it's not the dude's fault - you are the common denominator here. You miss read, miss interpret, miss lead, and straight up lie to these guys in your passive aggressiveness responses. Is this fun for you? Do you enjoy this? Why do you do this? I am sure these guys aren't no having any fun being jerked around. When are you going to take that break and focus on yourself? Or is the attention from men, and all this self inflicted drama too much of a drug to resist? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 Wow, what a mess. Are you going to stop dating for a month then on your "travels"? Otherwise, won't he or his friends see you nearby on Tinder? If you'd just been straight with him, you could have continued to date until he left for his trip and maybe (if you got your **** together) built something strong enough to last two months apart. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 3, 2017 Share Posted October 3, 2017 (edited) How does he know??? You have proven over and over to be a bad liar, but yet that's your go to.... As for what to say or do? Start being genuine. Stop lying. Stop playing games with guys - they are people with feelings too. Edited October 3, 2017 by RecentChange 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mkn1010 Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 I am really surprised that I just read on another post that you're a 32 year old woman! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 I don't know what you're so upset about or other people are upset about. I read the conversation you had about both of you leaving. He likes you and you like him, so stay in touch but don't try to be long-distance exclusive. He's not going that far away. Enjoy the last date and say you'll stay in touch. Months go by like water down the drain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 You have proven over and over to be a bad liar, but yet that's your go to.... As for what to say or do? Start being genuine. Stop lying. Stop playing games with guys - they are people with feelings too. I don't know what to say though... should I just say I was trying to get you in the sack before you left because I've never had that experience and it sounded exciting, you're attractive and I want what I can't have??? I don't know how I'd feel. I know what I want. Please help me. I want a break from him... but I don't want to let him go completely. When he gets back we can continue maybe. I just feel so bad for doing this and I'm afraid he won't like/trust me if I ask for that Please can anyone help me??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 I don't know what you're so upset about or other people are upset about. I read the conversation you had about both of you leaving. He likes you and you like him, so stay in touch but don't try to be long-distance exclusive. He's not going that far away. Enjoy the last date and say you'll stay in touch. Months go by like water down the drain. Thank you! This is what I want. Except I don't know if I want to go on Monday or keep in touch. I was thinking we could fall apart and if we're both single down the road things can change Link to post Share on other sites
Mkn1010 Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 I got up to the part where you said that you were going to continue to date him as research and then I gave up reading, he deserves more! I would recommend ceasing using people "for research". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted October 4, 2017 Author Share Posted October 4, 2017 (edited) If I said 'research' it was poor phrasing. Everything we attempt in life can be considered research. I just meant that Id see where it goes. If he'd be more sexually assertive on second date because some were saying that he might be. Seeing where things go is no a new concept here and was even recommended by most people in your thread, Mkn1010 ,with that guy you were unsure about even though you chose to break it off with him. Most people said give it a try and it had been like 8 dates. This guy doesn't even like me anyway Edited October 4, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 You lie to guys like it's second nature, keeping them at a certain distance if things don't go perfectly. But it doesn't seem like you even know what your perfect spot is, so you will bolt no matter what. And I don't think you want help, per say, you just want help with the right way to disappear/keep him nearby. I wonder if these words are even registering anything with you, or if you are reading it with glossy eyes as you ponder about something else... probably your emotions. Wake up, dear. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve_02 Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 I'm looking forward to the threads after cookies gets her boob job next week. I'm assuming that's the reason for being 'out of commission'. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 I don't know what to say though... should I just say I was trying to get you in the sack before you left because I've never had that experience and it sounded exciting, you're attractive and I want what I can't have??? I don't know how I'd feel. I know what I want. Please help me. I want a break from him... but I don't want to let him go completely. When he gets back we can continue maybe. I just feel so bad for doing this and I'm afraid he won't like/trust me if I ask for that Please can anyone help me??? You want him on a string like a puppet. Not too many people would be okay with that and even less would accept that from someone they barely know. Have you ever been evaluated by a mental health professional? I'd start there if you truly want help. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 I just need help on what to say/do now I'm hopeless. How about: 1. Taking the time to figure out what you really want - this might mean not dating for a while and possibly enlisting the help of a therapist 2. Being honest with your dating partner(s) about what that is You keep hurtling into dating situations and then blowing them up. If you were only hurting yourself, that would be one thing. But you are hurting other people, and if you have any compassion at all, I think you'd want to stop this. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 I am really surprised that I just read on another post that you're a 32 year old woman! I'm not sure what age has to do with anything. She's here looking to better understand herself the same way we all are, at any age. That's a positive and there should be no shame in that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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