mortensorchid Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Well, what's the number? Ha ha ha ... I admit I used to ask that question of others. But then, I decided not to after a while. Why? If you have been with someone who has had a lot of partners, you feel like you can't measure up. If you have been with someone who's only had a few, the other person feels that way about you. People say that they have been with an average of 4 or 5 before they marry. True? I guess so, but I'm not average and neither are most of my friends past and present. I also have known those who have been with A LOT, nearly into the triple digits. And I've also met those who were virgins until their late twenties. It's what it is. Don't ask, don't tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 This guy definitely sounds like bad news to me, especially considering that you had to take his hand off your butt! Better to pass on him and just stay at acquaintance level, for sure. Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I'm fed up with guys acting like that. It really affects my self-esteem and makes me feel unattractive. He texts me from time to time, usually when drunk and tries to escalate it. I don't like escalating by text so I try to change the direction of the conversation. I mean like the most recent text I got from him was saying he had a big package. It freaked me out a little bit. But it sucks when it's someone you see on the regular so I sense the potential for awkwardness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Someone hinted that this guy might be sexually insecure by asking that question and I'm beginning to think that they were right. I spoke to him last night. He called me. One of the things he asked me was how long in bed guys I'd been with before had lasted. I told him it feels disrespectful to the men I was intimate with to reveal that information to him so he didn't get anything from that question. Basically I have him at a point where I know not to take him too seriously if he isn't treating me that way so I've stopped caring. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 (edited) Someone hinted that this guy might be sexually insecure by asking that question and I'm beginning to think that they were right. I spoke to him last night. He called me. One of the things he asked me was how long in bed guys I'd been with before had lasted. I told him it feels disrespectful to the men I was intimate with to reveal that information to him so he didn't get anything from that question. Basically I have him at a point where I know not to take him too seriously if he isn't treating me that way so I've stopped caring. Yeah, once that sort of intimate question has been asked early on, I can see how it can almost be considered as a licence to ask for more. Whatever your number is fine - mine is on the lower side of the single digit spectrum, so not very high; some men will wonder why, some men will look at it as some sort of prize, but I don't really care any more than I care about theirs - open-minded, secure men won't care about yours either. ETA: Not saying it's not ok to consider a number of partners as an important selection criterion, but there are ways to know without asking the question point blank - if it's part of a 'get to know each other' conversation and both partners are fine and asking / answering, then whatever works. Edited February 21, 2017 by PrettyEmily77 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted February 26, 2017 Author Share Posted February 26, 2017 Feel free to close this thread. I haven't been on here for a while. The guy is still talking to me but I gathered more evidence. As if I didn't know already, what I found proves he is really just wanting a leg over. I asked a male friend of mine who happens to know him. He said "He just thinks he's a player. He thinks he can get anyone". He was sounding so suspicious with the kind of stuff he was saying anyway including saying "I love you" and calling me up/texting in the middle of the night and saying stuff like "I'm bored. I need help" and "I'm horny" (duh). A friend talked to him to figure out his deal and came back with more info. It really creeps me out when guys are like. It's not flattering to think you have good personal qualities and yet are seen as quick lay option. I'm also experiencing low self-esteem currently in terms of how I look and this just makes it worse! Link to post Share on other sites
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