whichwayisup Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Document everything that has happened. Bring it all to the lawyer. This woman is awful, her timing sucks and she's manipulative and cruel. I feel for your son, he loves her yet now he sees who she is. He's in pain on ALL levels now not just physically but emotionally. I do wonder why she (or her parents) chose to do this now? All it's done is upset your son (and you) and made his recovery much harder than it has to be. From now on, keep her away from your son. Give the nurses station specific instructions not to let her see or speak to your son. Also put this girls parents on that list too just in case they show up or try to call the hospital. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 I don't know if her parents completely thought it through or did it out of any sort of malice but I could be wrong I suppose. I put a lot of pressure on them to find out what in the world was going on with their daughter and I think they were just trying to make things right but I honestly couldn't tell you one way or the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 So second surgery went really well Son will be on crutches for a good long while and may need some subsequent surgeries. But Doctors think he should be able to go home by Next weekend and they are gonna start to wean him off of the morphine starting Monday. I also talked to the girls parents and have demanded they force their daughter to get a paternity test right away and they said it will be taken care of. There is a lab nearby that can do it now and find out the paternity in a few weeks. His doctors are going to also be giving him strong pain killers for home use and have advised me to give them to him as prescribed and not to let him have access to them because of the depression and addiction concerns. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 Hospital called me tonight and apparently, she showed up wanting to see my son and even tried to force her way in, Either she is stupid or crazy or a bit of both. But they successfully called security and forced her out and reminded he is a minor and his mother doesn't want her around him. I am really thankful that she didn't wake my kid up because if she had and he knew she was he might have tried to see her and I don't think anything good would have honestly come of it. Her parents called way earlier though and she is gonna go Tuesday for the paternity I just have to go by with a sample of my son's DNA hair follicle ext. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 @ConcernedMom ~ She sounds like a right mess and is messing around with your son's head, I think you did the right thing in keeping her away from him. You really are doing a good job in taking care of your son and remaining calm about all this... I hope your son makes a swift recovery and get back on track with his life x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 Saw the lawyer today and hired him to oversee the paternity testing and if it is my son's child then the custody and then child support. Son tried walking with assistance and crutches today and got really angry and frustrated with how immobile he is and the pain he is in. I can see this will be a long arduous journey. He wants a new cell phone but I am worried he just wants to contact that girl so I have been trying not to give him an answer. Oh well hopefully in a few weeks we can find out the true paternity of this child once and for all since I am highly doubting now that it is my son's. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 Son will be getting to come home from the hospital on Friday and now trying to get his dad to come over and help me with him is like pulling teeth. I don't get it he goes from wanting to help me all the time to being a jerk when I ask him to come over Friday through Sunday to help with our son who is going to need a lot of it as he isn't the most mobile right now. Doctor said he is going to be prescribing Oxycodone for pain and I really wish he would prescribe my son something else as I am worried about him becoming addicted to these. That young lady tried coming to see my son again and was very very forceful about it and woke my son up which caused a big fight between the two of them and a lot of unneeded drama and emotions and it was just pretty bad to see your son that angry and sad to the point he is crying so hard he can't breathe but still trying to scream at her to get out. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 How was she able to get close enough to wake him up this time? I wouldn't think the hospital would let her in after last time :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 Shift change and some new people just started today well that was the reason I was given. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Man that sucks. Alright well hopefully the other staff will be aware of that issue now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 1, 2017 Author Share Posted April 1, 2017 Son is home from the hospital and things are starting to chill out a bit. Ex despite all the grief he gave me about coming over and helping hasn't left since we got him home from the hospital. Having to help your 16 year old with showering and such basic things is just disheartening to see and embarrassing for him. Other then that not a lot to report, He has been trying to get more pain killers from me earlier then he is supposed to not sure what is going on there but having to keep that really strict. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 So glad he's home safe. Have you managed to keep the crazy ex-gf away? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 2, 2017 Author Share Posted April 2, 2017 No, she hasn't dared come by the house where she knows I or my ex will stop her besides her parents have sworn up and down they will be keeping her away or at least trying and if all else fails I will just get law enforcement involved. I don't know what else to do besides that I also need to get my son into his therapist and psychiatrist as soon as possible. I can tell he is getting incredibly depressed but he won't talk to myself or his father. But right now I am also concerned with him getting addicted to these pain killers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 4, 2017 Author Share Posted April 4, 2017 What do you do when your son actually wants to see this young lady even though you have basically told her she comes around and she is liable to get into trouble with the law? He keeps asking about her and I just try and change the subject and he wants to call her but I make excuses as to why he can't or shouldn't. Not sure how long I can keep this up. Don't know if telling him just flat out that he can't contact her is the best or not. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 I might tell him straight out that it shouldn't happen until the paternity test is complete. That shouldn't be too far away, right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 What do you do when your son actually wants to see this young lady even though you have basically told her she comes around and she is liable to get into trouble with the law? He keeps asking about her and I just try and change the subject and he wants to call her but I make excuses as to why he can't or shouldn't. Not sure how long I can keep this up. Don't know if telling him just flat out that he can't contact her is the best or not. Don't make excuses. Don't change the subject. Talk with him honestly about why you're not letting her in the house. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted April 4, 2017 Share Posted April 4, 2017 Regardless of the paternity results, I would keep her away from him because it seems like every time they talk they get into a fight which leads him to sink a little lower. He's in a fragile state already so anything that gets in the way of his recovery should be blocked off. You said she already moved on to some other guy so I don't see why she is still coming to hassle your son... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 I don't know why she keeps wanting to talk or see my son either as she has clearly moved on. But I told my son that he is not to contact her and she has been told not to contact him either and I explained why and his dad even backed me up on this. And it turned into a major meltdown of him crying and screaming and he hasn't talked to us since I am taking him to his Therapist and Psychiatrist on Friday. Hoping they can get him back on track quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I don't know why she keeps wanting to talk or see my son either as she has clearly moved on. But I told my son that he is not to contact her and she has been told not to contact him either and I explained why and his dad even backed me up on this. And it turned into a major meltdown of him crying and screaming and he hasn't talked to us since I am taking him to his Therapist and Psychiatrist on Friday. Hoping they can get him back on track quickly. He probably is looking for closure, trying to understand why she's dumped him when not too long ago things seemed okay with them. He was so hurt when she didn't call or visit him, then she did and broke up with him. He's emotional, in pain (both emotional and physical) so no wonder he's a mess. Just love him, support him and hopefully the therapy will help ease his pain in time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 I know he wants closure and I know his heart is broken but I just don't know how to help him but tomorrow he sees both doctors and I am hoping they can. He still isn't talking to myself or my husband it is like he has turned into a mute for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
jnel921 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 @ConcernedMom I am sorry you are going through this. Last year my 19yr old daughter was dating a 16year old too. My H and I were very upset and I had to question my daughters mentality at that time. The only thing that I saw they had in common was that the boy had ADHD and was using pot daily and said it was for medical reasons and because my D likes pot she was around for the free ride. I am sure they had a sexual relationship and the kids parents didn't seem to have a problem with my D as she acts very immature herself and I can see why someone would think she is younger than what she is. That relationship didn't last very long and because I made it a point to make sure my D was always on birth control she never got pregnant. I thank god that never happened. I know she remains friends with this person if only for some pot. Just sad. I really hope this baby is not your son's. 16 is too young to take away your future. Some parents are supportive and help their kids through it, but I know I couldn't. I wanted to have more children except that bills and settling our family where we currently are was the goal and the sacrifice at the time and we couldn't afford it. At my age its too late. Good Luck to you and may your son have a swift recovery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 11, 2017 Author Share Posted April 11, 2017 Thank you, He is doing fairly better got him to both of his doctors and he is back on his meds and he and his therapist talked for well over two hours and he seems to be doing a lot better he still wants closure with this girl but isn't actively seeking her out either. Fre more weeks and we can find out the baby's paternity and hopefully put this entire ordeal behind us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConcernedMom Posted April 23, 2017 Author Share Posted April 23, 2017 Got the DNA test back and it is my sons, Not sure what we are gonna do we haven't told him yet because we aren't sure his reaction to the news. Asked his therapist and she said we need to break it to him sooner or later regardless of the negative reaction he could have. But he has been doing so well emotionally and he is getting back on his own feet physically and has started PT. Just really worried about ruining that progress. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Ughhh....back to the drawing board. Diplomacy with her parents, lawyer for child support/visitation. Glad to hear that your son is doing better and continuing therapy. Maybe tell him this news with the therapist if it is possible. I really hope this baby is so much of a blessing in all your lives that it far outweighs all the difficulties. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Sorry to hear that. What a mess for your son. Especially when the girl is clearly not capable of mature decisions. I really hope you all can navigate this with minimum damage to your son. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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