elaine567 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Your solicitor (attorney is an American term and you are in the UK) will more than likely suggest applying for search and/or freezing order...your ex wife would be required to provide details of all bank accounts and account for any money that has been taken out and/or moved. These orders can even be applied for after the divorce has gone through...the financial case can be reopened and an order applied at any time. Regarding items of value, you need to make a list of what you think she's taken and provide that to your solicitor. Your wife can then be ordered to either produce the items, or if she's sold them, return the money. She can't be taking anything until the division of assets has been settled in the divorce. Problem here is that a lot of the money, according to what Andrew said previously, is in her accounts, and he has already been informed by his solicitor that he has no right to money in accounts that are only in her name. #291 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Your solicitor (attorney is an American term and you are in the UK) will more than likely suggest applying for search and/or freezing order...your ex wife would be required to provide details of all bank accounts and account for any money that has been taken out and/or moved. These orders can even be applied for after the divorce has gone through...the financial case can be reopened and an order applied at any time. Regarding items of value, you need to make a list of what you think she's taken and provide that to your solicitor. Your wife can then be ordered to either produce the items, or if she's sold them, return the money. She can't be taking anything until the division of assets has been settled in the divorce. That will include jewellery and valuables as well as money? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Problem here is that a lot of the money, according to what Andrew said previously, is in her accounts, and he has already been informed by his solicitor that he has no right to money in accounts that are only in her name. #291 No it's not money in accounts it's physical cash that we were saving for holidays etc I know she's took it because I overheard the conversation about how 'she's already started sneaking things out without me knowing' Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 No it's not money in accounts it's physical cash that we were saving for holidays etc I know she's took it because I overheard the conversation about how 'she's already started sneaking things out without me knowing' Ok but you were far too trusting there, leaving cash lying about. Of course she was going to take it. Its gong to cost you a lot in court/solicitors fees to get it back so you may just have to write that off, and how can you prove it even existed anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 I recorded her conversation about sneezing in out, so she can't deny it. So, do I act as if I know nothing or start asking questions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 I don't trust her anymore so everything I say or think it might be useful I quickly press a recording app on my phone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trolloperative Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Andrew, so sorry you're going through this. Glad you're getting things moving. Truth is this woman probably checked out of your marriage years ago and has a headstart emotionally. She's thinking with her head, moving quickly and you should too. I can't help with the legal stuff but keep in mind whatever she takes or you give her will be shared with the OM. Keep that thought in your head as incentive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 Andrew, so sorry you're going through this. Glad you're getting things moving. Truth is this woman probably checked out of your marriage years ago and has a headstart emotionally. She's thinking with her head, moving quickly and you should too. I can't help with the legal stuff but keep in mind whatever she takes or you give her will be shared with the OM. Keep that thought in your head as incentive. Yes it's like she's already come to terms with our marriage being over, she's cold, nasty and heartless Link to post Share on other sites
FTD Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Andrew: You and your wife were not living a lie for 20 years. You are traumatized right now, but your wife may be very ill. Have you researched frontotemporal dementia, a devastating brain disease that strikes people in their prime? Have you made an appt. for your wife to see a neurologist? Take care of the legal matters because she has lost her empathy and love for you, and will leave you penniless without batting an eye, then get her to a neurologist. Please don't despair. She would still be madly in love with if she were well. Link to post Share on other sites
Mittens Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 (edited) That will include jewellery and valuables as well as money? If it's jewellery given to her as gifts then you can't claim it back, unless it was expressly stated at the time of giving that in the event of a divorce that it would have to be returned. They come under the Married Woman's Property Act and are considered absolute gifts. Other valuables? You will need to sort that out in court, more than likely. Cash? Was it money taken from a bank account? If so, there will be a record of the withdrawal, your solicitor can request an order where your wife would need to explain why the money was withdrawn and what was done with it. If it was money that had never been in any account and just kept in the house, you are going to find it hard to prove it even existed, let alone that your wife took it. Edited June 11, 2016 by Mittens 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Cash? Was it money taken from a bank account? If so, there will be a record of the withdrawal, your solicitor can request an order where your wife would need to explain why the money was withdrawn and what was done with it. No, it was saved "cash" that was in the house. no bank accounts involved. They have a family business, it probably never touched an account. No it's not money in accounts it's physical cash that we were saving for holidays etc Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 It's all such a mess, she's turned into a heartless woman that I don't even know, in my heart I love her to bits but I can't show her that. I need her out the house so that I can start to forget about her but the solicitor has confirmed she has rights to be there, I still can't work out why she's not moved in with the OM and she refuses to tell me if she's keeping the pregnancy. This really is making my head a complete shed. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Yes it's like she's already come to terms with our marriage being over, she's cold, nasty and heartless She didn't just dream this up overnight, I guess this has been going on for a long long time, whilst you are blindsided, she has already come to terms with leaving you. The affair has just focussed her attention and given her the final push to do it. She is distancing herself from you, as she doesn't want to falter and give in and just stay in the marriage, as that would be easy to do, but she knows she would regret it. She has to dehumanise you to protect herself and make sure she carries out her intention to go. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 It's all such a mess, she's turned into a heartless woman that I don't even know, in my heart I love her to bits but I can't show her that. I need her out the house so that I can start to forget about her but the solicitor has confirmed she has rights to be there, I still can't work out why she's not moved in with the OM and she refuses to tell me if she's keeping the pregnancy. This really is making my head a complete shed. As you are both essentially equal as far as the house is concerned, then she is staking her claim. The house is as much hers as it is yours, you have no more right to stay there than she does. It is not in her best interests to let you have free rein here. Is the house on the market? Have you investigated getting a new place for you to live with or without your son? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 I've made an enquiry to sell the house and rent it back but they haven't come back to me yet. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I've made an enquiry to sell the house and rent it back but they haven't come back to me yet. Has your wife agreed to that arrangement? I guess your wife will want it sold outright at full market value, not on a rent back scheme, as you will get a lot less money for the house that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Mittens Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Has your wife agreed to that arrangement? I guess your wife will want it sold outright at full market value, not on a rent back scheme, as you will get a lot less money for the house that way. It's highly unlikely your wife solicitor will agree to this arrangement. If she's on the mortgage/deeds, she's entitled to half the equity in the house. Unless you can afford to buy her out, that means the house will have to be sold. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I know your dream is to have you and your son staying in your existing house and your wife just disappears, but that isn't going to happen. The only way you can stay there, is if you and your wife decide to reconcile, otherwise the house will have to go on the market (as I guess you cannot afford to buy her out.) You have to be realistic here and start making plans to move. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 I didn't realise I would need her agreement as long as she got the 50% of the market value Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 (edited) You dont need her agreement if you file for divorce. The house wil be sold. You can get full market value from a investor. As long as you both agree on what the market value is, and you become a renter, there should not be a problem. Instead of speculating, file, discuss the market value with you stbx and realtor. Its not rocket science and if she gets her full share, why wouls she be opposed to where you live? If she does, that spiteful. Work it out. The renting idea seems sound. Edited June 11, 2016 by 66Charger Link to post Share on other sites
Mittens Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I didn't realise I would need her agreement as long as she got the 50% of the market value The only possible problem is that the companies that offer the buy and rent back schemes rarely give full market value. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 12, 2016 Author Share Posted June 12, 2016 Caught them together this morning, so all this she was saying about not seeing him was all a load of lies Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 "Check the price you're being offered Sale and rent back firms usually buy homes below the market rate so you could end up losing money. You might be better off selling your home on the open market and finding somewhere else to rent. This would mean you could make more out of the sale and could use this to pay off any other debts you might owe. You should also be aware that if the price you're being offered to sell your property is less than what you owe on your mortgage, your mortgage lender can refuse to let you sell it at that price." https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/mortgage-problems/how-to-sort-out-your-mortgage-problems/sale-and-rent-back-schemes/Seems you can expect to get 60-85% of the current market price in such a scheme. Link to post Share on other sites
tinkerbell16 Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Caught them together this morning, so all this she was saying about not seeing him was all a load of lies Expect that most everything she tells you will be a lie. Except that your marriage is over. That is true. It is the harsh reality. She will manipulate you and use your feelings towards her for her own good. You must remember your wife is no longer the woman you love. Put "that one" in a neat little memory box and shut it tight and push through this divorce. Only after the divorce can you afford to remember the good times. Right now look out for your own and your boy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted June 12, 2016 Author Share Posted June 12, 2016 I'm learning to expect the unexpected 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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