elaine567 Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 ITs being sold to a couple who have agreed to rent it long term to me, the court has ordered that she cannot obstruct the sale Make sure you have this arrangement with the buyers all tied up properly. I presume they are getting it cheaper with a sitting tenant arrangement, so make sure they can't just turf you out whenever they feel like it or if they decide to sell it again soon for a quick profit. I know your focus is on her and you are desperate to stay there, but do not take your eye off the ball over the sale of your house here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 If you have a chance before you exit, take photos of the condition of the house. You may need this to document the condition upon exit so that if anything is damaged, you have backup. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 If you have a chance before you exit, take photos of the condition of the house. You may need this to document the condition upon exit so that if anything is damaged, you have backup. Absolutely. Hopefully you stipulated that she can't remove anything from the house without your consent - joint property. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 The buyers need to document the condition of the house when they agreed to buy it, the condition it is now, and the condition they recieved it. This will protect them and you and the the buyer. While you might not be in a position to demand this, they are. Ask them to do so. If she degrades the value of the home, she should be and can be required to make good the loss to the buyers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Part of the order is that she cannot remove or damage anything in the house. What's people's general opinion of this? It's kinda hitting me now that things are final 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 She owns half the house, it is in her best interests that the sale goes through smoothly, so she is not going to damage anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mittens Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 In her statement to the court she states she didn't have an affair, she says it was a brief fling, is 12 months classed as brief?? As I've posted before, the courts don't give a flying **** about the moral part, only the law. The judge won't care if she's been banging the guy for 20 years. In my time in the UK court system, I've seen judges get really ****ing pissed off if either side tries to make a big deal of the emotional side. If you want help with that, you need to see a therapist, not take it to court. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted August 7, 2016 Author Share Posted August 7, 2016 The court took direction from the solicitors, fortunately for me mine was the stronger of the two 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted August 17, 2016 Author Share Posted August 17, 2016 Dunno why but today has been a really bad day Link to post Share on other sites
LancasterAmos1966 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Dunno why but today has been a really bad day Andrew42, I'm sorry to hear that you are having an emotionally rough day. You lost your Beloved Bride, and that will take a lot of time to undo the rejection. Things that helped me emotionally were reading online blogs, having a safe friend I could vent to without them stopping me every 3 seconds to give me their advice, crying whenever the tears came bubbling out, and even allowing myself to get angry but without sinning. (that means no hurting myself or others.) After 20 years of marriage, I too lost my bride. The darkest time was about 4 months after that, and it lasted a good 2 months. I got through it....and if I can get through it, I know you can too!! We were used to having a companion with us every day, and now she is gone. You feel bad because you are human!!!! Google the 5 stages of death, and you will realize that separation/divorce is really the same as the death of a relationship, the death of dreams, the death of your life-time partner. No one died physically, but the same emotions kick in whenever we lose a loved one through separation/divorce. Keep posting on here, and know that there are many wishing you well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1690 Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 I know what you mean about rough times. I am a few months from my divorce. Just waiting on some finishing touches. Once I am bought out and move I have wondered what the actual reality of it will be. I just posted on my thread about how all this is like a dream. Still in my own house, the wife out of town so no real reminders we are done. Over all I am doing good. Some days not so much. I have focused on myself. Bought a new wardrobe (why not she spent thousands this past year on new clothes), been going to the tanning bed, working out everyday, riding my Harley and taking care of details about my future cabin I am going to build with buy out money. Keep us posted on your thoughts post divorce. Guys like me are reading your thread and learning about what may possibly come up is a great help in dealing with our own matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Lowrider93 Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 Hey that's good advice, buy yourself a Harley or Triumph (any bike will do) I have one of each. It will cleanse your soul of all that toxic waste. Just you and the open road. If that's not for you buy yourself a fishin pole and find somewhere to use it. Peace 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1690 Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 LowRider a bit off topic her and don't mean to thread jack but what kind of hog are you riding. I am on a 2008 Dyna-Lowrider 105th Anniversary edition, one of 2000. I should garage it but damn it is fun to ride. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr_Fox Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 Andrew - Be strong! You are nearly rid of the woman for good. I have been through a bitter divorce like yours and it hurts. But move on to greener pastures and create a better life for you and your son! At least you have your son because my ex-wife denied me access and I have not seen my daughter for 20 years! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Lowrider93 Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 Hi Jeff, 93 FXLR 93 Lowrider Custom, built to the hilt. And to bring it back to the topic at hand, the numbers of newly divorced men who purchase a bike after a divorce is huge! I'm one of them. Ride Safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1690 Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 You to lowrider. Andrew get you a bike. Travel. One of the things I do to get my mind clear is I plan a route with historical sights, festivals, antique shops etc. I don't just ride I meet new people see really cool things I never would have before. Link to post Share on other sites
Searching4Love Posted August 20, 2016 Share Posted August 20, 2016 hang in there my friend 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 It's hard because she's now trying to bring our son into the equation Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 It's hard because she's now trying to bring our son into the equation In what way? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Andrew42 Posted September 1, 2016 Author Share Posted September 1, 2016 Able to get back in the house tomorrow night, thank god 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1690 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 That is great Link to post Share on other sites
isthismylife Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Hi, Just wondering how you & your son are now you're back in the house? Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 Hi Andrew, have read through your entire post. Am really sorry for you and the position you find yourself in. You have been given a lot of good and practical advice by a number of good people on this forum. Elaine, Tinkerbelle, Kwacker, Mittens and so many others have offered really invaluable advice some of which you ignored because of which you came to grief. However, alls well that ends well and I think, overall you have got a good deal. Use the advice given to you to move forward successfully and happily and leave your ex in the dust and smoke of your wake! Tinkrrbelle I had a question for you. Why are you still interacting with your ex and listening to his sorry stories? Why do you have to be in contact with him at all? Just a thought especially after the way he treated you. Cheers all around. Link to post Share on other sites
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