Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 I am in the final for a new job in a different European country. They flew me there this week for the last interview. I will know by Friday. If I get it, the pay to relocate me to that country in 6 weeks. Please send good vibes. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 16, 2016 Author Share Posted April 16, 2016 The European job came back to me yesterday. They still like me, but also like the other candidate too. They are unable to make a decision so, they are asking for another final this Monday on Skype. They said all my feedback was tremendous but the one concern was that I was over qualified. I'm not sure how to overcome that. If anyone has any suggestions can you please let me know? All I fantasise about now is getting my divorce and never looking back. This job would save my life. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 The European job came back to me yesterday. They still like me, but also like the other candidate too. They are unable to make a decision so, they are asking for another final this Monday on Skype. They said all my feedback was tremendous but the one concern was that I was over qualified. I'm not sure how to overcome that. If anyone has any suggestions can you please let me know? All I fantasise about now is getting my divorce and never looking back. This job would save my life. I don't have a suggestion regarding the over qualification, but I wish you the best, and hope they choose you after you nail that Skype session! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 I had the final "final" yesterday. I thought it went well but I am not great at reading these things. He said they would make a decision by the end of the week so fingers crossed. Oddly and excitedly, a job I applied for 8 weeks ago based on the west coast of America phone screened me yesterday and put me forward to the next round to talk to the CRO and interview today at 8pm. I don't know how many rounds there are but this one offers relocation expenses ans accommodation for 6 months. Maybe the universe is helping me catch a break finally! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 Seeing the lawyer... I wasn't supposed to see him until Friday but he had a cancellation so I went today. I'm freaked out and overwhelmed. It's going to cost about £5000 to get divorced. I have grounds but STBX has to agree to them.mif STBX does agree to the grounds and a financial settlement agreement, we can be divorced in months. If not, it takes at least 2 years. I feel sick. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 You may want to consider just moving away and not pursuing divorce just yet then. If you give it some time, and give time for the 'apart' to be the new reality, once you go back later for the divorce, it won't be an emotional issue for him, and he'll just sign it like any other paper. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 20, 2016 Author Share Posted April 20, 2016 You may want to consider just moving away and not pursuing divorce just yet then. If you give it some time, and give time for the 'apart' to be the new reality, once you go back later for the divorce, it won't be an emotional issue for him, and he'll just sign it like any other paper. If I do that I am responsible for half a mortgage payment and taxes. on a house I don't live in £1600/month and I don't get any of my equity out to start over. The equity aside, I can't afford to live and pay £1600/month. (However the fantasy of just moving away is delightful) Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 I am collecting paperwork for my lawyer. I feel like sh*te Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Yep, it's a process. From first inklings to finish, our took a couple years. I know a few which took five to seven years, long enough that the minor kids became adults during the period. You'll get through it. It'll have good days too. Try to focus on today and avoid concern about the unknown of tomorrow. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 Yep, it's a process. From first inklings to finish, our took a couple years. I know a few which took five to seven years, long enough that the minor kids became adults during the period. You'll get through it. It'll have good days too. Try to focus on today and avoid concern about the unknown of tomorrow. I don't have any children. My lawyer says I have grounds by STBX needs to concur. That means 5 months or so instead of 2 years. Once I get out of this country and (hopefully) back to America I am never leaving there again. Every time I am away from the house I wonder what is being done to me. The stress is unbelievable. Thanks for your messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Geminix004 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 It's never too late to start a new beginning. Cheer up Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 I don't have any children. My lawyer says I have grounds by STBX needs to concur. That means 5 months or so instead of 2 years. Once I get out of this country and (hopefully) back to America I am never leaving there again. Every time I am away from the house I wonder what is being done to me. The stress is unbelievable. Thanks for your messages. Then the stress will stop. It's a process. You will be fine eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 Then the stress will stop. It's a process. You will be fine eventually. Right now it's a pounds and pence issue. I have to het the lawyer £5000. Have enough to live OM for a few months until the stinky house sells or I get bought out. Start a new job here tomorrow 3 month contract which will pay thr divorce and get me a flat share wile I keep drilling foe a new job. In America. No mews from Amsterdam. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 Latest soul destroying update. As I was sitting at my new contracting role on Friday working away, I see one of the girls who placed me from the headhunting firm come into the building and go to the CFO's office. I didn't think anything about it because there are 2 other contractors from the same firm as me on this project. After about an a hour or so I saw her leave and I carried on working. At 4:45 I got a email with the other 2 contractors on copy to our personal emails asking us to join a teleconference at 6:30. Apparently the company were were placed at was refusing to pay the firm that placed us until after the engagement was over, and the amount owed was £19,000 for the 3 of us. We all got told that our consulting firm would cover the salary we should have received for the time worked which they would pay us this week but that they had concluded doing business with ABC company and we should not report to work Monday (today). They apologised profusely and said that they would try to find us new assignments. So I stayed in bed and cried all weekend. I know now I am a financial hostage. This is going to be "the long game", when all I want to do is run away as fast and far as I can. I did not tell STBX about all this. Today will be spent applying for as many jobs as possible interspersed with an eBay marathon. To be fair I have been looking for jobs like mad in America and even in Amsterdam where I made it to the finals but was bonked out at the last minute for being over qualified. Life doesn't feel worth living anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 You'll get over this. I know you will. Life is full of hurdles; what matters is how you handle them. Can you call someone to talk to? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 Thank you. There seem to be nothing but hurdles at the moment! I spoke briefly to a friend but she's just found out she's expecting after 5 years of trying so that needs not to have the excitement dampened by my stupid issues. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 MEH, keep them compartmentalized. Have joy for her, take care of yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted May 10, 2016 Author Share Posted May 10, 2016 Another night over. One day closer to freedom I suppose. There is no conversation simply 2 people avoiding each other with the tv always on. Back to the job hunt today. Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 One day closer...that's a good outlook. Something to look forward to one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted May 10, 2016 Share Posted May 10, 2016 ****, i wish my cake eating soulmate murderers woulda asked me for a divorce. but noooooo. i filed. i paid. he asked me to come back. he asked me again. he lost the papers before he signed them. i was told he had suicidal depression. i told his mother i'd stab him in the eye with a fork. still wasn't asked anything, until finally, i drove alone to the courthouse and was asked, by my judge "you seem so upset mrs. cake eater clavel, why are you in tears"? then i was asked by my lawyer to pay my entire balance at his law firm. i was asked to sign at the sale of my only real home. so no, i guess i wasn't asked for a divorce. pity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted May 10, 2016 Author Share Posted May 10, 2016 ****, i wish my cake eating soulmate murderers woulda asked me for a divorce. but noooooo. i filed. i paid. he asked me to come back. he asked me again. he lost the papers before he signed them. i was told he had suicidal depression. i told his mother i'd stab him in the eye with a fork. still wasn't asked anything, until finally, i drove alone to the courthouse and was asked, by my judge "you seem so upset mrs. cake eater clavel, why are you in tears"? then i was asked by my lawyer to pay my entire balance at his law firm. i was asked to sign at the sale of my only real home. so no, i guess i wasn't asked for a divorce. pity. he asked but hasn't done one thing. I send you a big hug xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author DevastatedDiva Posted May 22, 2016 Author Share Posted May 22, 2016 ****, i wish my cake eating soulmate murderers woulda asked me for a divorce. but noooooo. i filed. i paid. he asked me to come back. he asked me again. he lost the papers before he signed them. i was told he had suicidal depression. i told his mother i'd stab him in the eye with a fork. still wasn't asked anything, until finally, i drove alone to the courthouse and was asked, by my judge "you seem so upset mrs. cake eater clavel, why are you in tears"? then i was asked by my lawyer to pay my entire balance at his law firm. i was asked to sign at the sale of my only real home. so no, i guess i wasn't asked for a divorce. pity. So STBX asked but has done nothing. I finally think I have a job in America. I am supposed to be getting a contract by Tuesday. There is no relo. So. (If I get it) I will sign the contract, go online on a roommate or site like Airbnb arrange a room, start the divorce petition online (paying for it), clear out most of the savings because I am leaving a fully paid off 2.5 year old car here, buy a plane ticket, get on a plane, rent a car, move into whatever the cheapest safest place is. Buy cheap car $10,000 or less, start job, never look back and use the money I have an earn to get divorced and get my several hundreds of thousands £££ from the house sale and STBX can f right off. Because he is an emotional terrorist and has destroyed my self confidence he can have the £10,000 of debt too. ( STBX P60 just came earnings £117,361) I made more but it went into this fing house. So. I no longer feel badly, not like I'm deserting, just anger. Within a few weeks of getting to America I will get a tattoo in white ink on the inside of my finger that says "free" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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