Just found out he deceived me for 2 years

[Mount]

Ok let's put it this way, I feel like in the relationship between OP and her guy, one of them is somehow not very mentally sane. I am not going to say whom.

[Mount]

OP still did not answer, over 2 years timeframe, why OP did not receive the text saying "I love you"...etc, or birthday, holiday card with his signing? Why is the abnormal behavior in OP's eyes being normal and NOT being challenged?

 

 

How come you did not have birthday cards, holiday cards, text msg with his I love you with his signature? If not how come you did not question that, as it is obvious red flag. Instead you would rather living with the "elephant" in the room for two year but did not ask for clarification, now you were just using Facebook post to question his obvious strange behavior, that should have been easily discovered from more daily trails.

 

 

You get what you ask for, you choose to live in self-denial somehow.

[so gutted]

i can't believe that i am biting...

 

OP maybe it would help if you define what you think a relationship is because you say you were in one but you were dating others?

 

earlier you stated you had "strong morals" but was in a relationship (sic) with a married man and now even thou in a relationship (sic) you were dating others.

 

and you still refuse to ask the man you are in a relationship (sic) with about his ex's post.

 

i am getting an ice cream headache.

 

I was seeing others for tea/dinner etc in the hope of finding someone better then him. Something was t right. I was not unfaithful, i was not married.

 

Im not obsessed with him and i do not want to break up the family but i do feel horribly tortured by a video of him as a proud husband, while he was seeing me. I think that deception should not be passed by.

 

Why should HE get off scott free?

[so gutted]

You seem to be making bits and pieces up as you go along.

 

In post #84 you said

Now you are saying you were seeing other men as well.

 

I don't know nor care whether he is with or not with his wife any more.

You clearly are too scared to ask him about the video - which makes me think that you two aren't in a relationship at all and never really were so you actually have n reason to talk to him.

 

I think you are wanting to write to his wife for drama/attention seeking purposes, possibly even just drama on a thread purposes.

 

Nooo i feel guilty about telling the wife and scared of a backlash. There is no doubt in my mind that he is married to her and has been all along.

[so gutted]

OP still did not answer, over 2 years timeframe, why OP did not receive the text saying "I love you"...etc, or birthday, holiday card with his signing? Why is the abnormal behavior in OP's eyes being normal and NOT being challenged?

 

I have texts, neither of us are the i love you types.

[Mount]

If he has not shown any real affection that put into actions i.e. text or love note those basic stuff, (assuming you know "talking", "words" mean nothing, yes?), then what you expect? And what does this thread post mean?

 

You are nobody to him & he is nobody to you, married or not married - And do not disturb other people's married life just because you are not. Does it make very sense to you?

 

 

 

I have texts, neither of us are the i love you types.

[eye of the storm]

...Im not obsessed with him and i do not want to break up the family but i do feel horribly tortured by a video of him as a proud husband, while he was seeing me. I think that deception should not be passed by.

 

Why should HE get off scott free?

 

Here it is. This has nothing to do with the poor BS. It is simple revenge.

[CarrieT]

I was seeing others ... in the hope of finding someone better then him.

 

Why should HE get off scott free?

Sounds like HE is the one who dodged a bullet since you obviously were looking "for someone better."

 

Seriously - you keep changing the story on what "the relationship" really was and its extent. Now you admit you were seeing others? Why shouldn't he?

 

:rolleyes:

[so gutted]

Here it is. This has nothing to do with the poor BS. It is simple revenge.

 

Yes - revenge for a married man manipulating me and lying.

[so gutted]

If he has not shown any real affection that put into actions i.e. text or love note those basic stuff, (assuming you know "talking", "words" mean nothing, yes?), then what you expect? And what does this thread post mean?

 

You are nobody to him & he is nobody to you, married or not married - And do not disturb other people's married life just because you are not. Does it make very sense to you?

 

He showed affection by seeing me, calling me befriending me. Friends for 1 year... Is that the actions of a nobody?

[eye of the storm]

Yes - revenge for a married man manipulating me and lying.

 

But the people you are targeting to punish him had nothing to do with it. They didn't lie to you. But they are who you are hunting.

 

You got involved with a MM. If it didn't work out like you wanted it to, learn your lessons on what to do/not do next time and move on.

 

Hanging on to this is keeping you stuck. For yourself, move on.

[so gutted]

If he has not shown any real affection that put into actions i.e. text or love note those basic stuff, (assuming you know "talking", "words" mean nothing, yes?), then what you expect? And what does this thread post mean?

 

You are nobody to him & he is nobody to you, married or not married - And do not disturb other people's married life just because you are not. Does it make very sense to you?

 

But the people you are targeting to punish him had nothing to do with it. They didn't lie to you. But they are who you are hunting.

 

You got involved with a MM. If it didn't work out like you wanted it to, learn your lessons on what to do/not do next time and move on.

 

Hanging on to this is keeping you stuck. For yourself, move on.

 

So are you suggesting i do nothing and let hom carry on?

[Mount]

Absolutely nobody. You want to find a true partner, then you need to learn more and realize more about the real behavior when a man is truly into you, instead of making you to be ANOTHER silly woman victim.

 

 

Tell me what your logic thinks, millions men also "seeing" sex service women/worker, "befriending" sex service worker/worker, and of course show affections to those women, and those women are absolutely nobody to those men as they (men) still have wives, children, family at home. Do you get it?

 

 

He showed affection by seeing me, calling me befriending me. Friends for 1 year... Is that the actions of a nobody?

Edited September 9, 2015 by Mount

[Mount]

Of course, he or his life is not your business, but YOU and your LIFE are your business. Simple enough.

 

 

So are you suggesting i do nothing and let hom carry on?

[so gutted]

Of course, he or his life is not your business, but YOU and your LIFE are your business. Simple enough.

 

So him having an affair when he told me he was seperated is all ok?

[Mount]

If you are still not letting him go when you find out the situation, I guess it is OK.

 

Smart woman chooses to walk away, the opposite (not smart) ones will be stuck and can not get over being played.

 

As I said, and said again, men always want to befriend with as many women as they can because they can further develop in order to get what they want from THOSE women - you know what I mean.

 

So if you choose to be a victim, then do not complain, and you knew it very well he was having huge red flag but you chose to bury your head into sand.

 

You either walk away or continue current path and NOT complain the fact he has wife. Simple is that.

 

 

So him having an affair when he told me he was seperated is all ok?

[Lurkeraspect]

I think the person you're angry with, is you. He was married when you started this, and he's still married now. You should seriously just drop this revenge fantasy and move on with your life. Lesson learned. Separated is still Married.

 

I also went back and read your thread from Feb, and it's full of red flags.

[so gutted]

I think the person you're angry with, is you. He was married when you started this, and he's still married now. You should seriously just drop this revenge fantasy and move on with your life. Lesson learned. Separated is still Married.

 

I also went back and read your thread from Feb, and it's full of red flags.

 

No he was seperated, he lied and lied. I did ask him many times what situation was and he lied.

 

I will tell his wife and then move on.

[so gutted]

I think the person you're angry with, is you. He was married when you started this, and he's still married now. You should seriously just drop this revenge fantasy and move on with your life. Lesson learned. Separated is still Married.

 

I also went back and read your thread from Feb, and it's full of red flags.

 

Im not angry, im hurt and i do value your input - all of you.

[so gutted]

I think the person you're angry with, is you. He was married when you started this, and he's still married now. You should seriously just drop this revenge fantasy and move on with your life. Lesson learned. Separated is still Married.

 

I also went back and read your thread from Feb, and it's full of red flags.

 

Can you all just say

 

Yes - tell his wife

Or

 

No - walk away

 

Please

[Lurkeraspect]

No he was seperated, he lied and lied. I did ask him many times what situation was and he lied.

 

I will tell his wife and then move on.

 

That's the thing though, you're going off half cocked. You're basing all of this on a video. You don't know the context, and have (perhaps) blown it out of proportion. Why don't you talk to him first.

 

And since you were dating multiple people (looking for someone better) why not just let it go?

[Mount]

If you want to be portrayed as ANOTHER crazy woman that no one loves her but go after this husband, then go ahead telling wife. Just imagining at night, he and his wife or all family members use you as a biggest juicy joke as an entertainment topic within the family or anyone they know everyday.

 

You want to continue being a joke, then go ahead telling.

 

 

 

Can you all just say

 

Yes - tell his wife

Or

 

No - walk away

 

Please

[sandylee1]

So gutted,

 

I didn't realise you were seeing other guys as well. Were you physical with them too?

 

The relationship doesn't sound like it was a very close one to me. He was upfront about being married and that he wouldn't or couldn't get divorced. I don't believe the reason he gave, but he portrayed himself as seperated.

 

If like a lot of people are suggesting that she already knows, then you telling her won't be a suprise now will it?

If the BS gets hurt, it's because of her WSs actions and not you.

 

Without going into too much detail, you can say 'I was in a relationship with your H for 18 months. He told me he was seperated. Something has come to my attention that makes me believe what about being seperated was untrue. I have further information...Please contact me on tel number 1234556777. Even if you do not wish to know any more, please call (not text) to confirm that you received this message '

 

If she calls you can tell her about his love nest. Many BWs are in denial and refuse to believe the OW didn't or couldn't have known he was married. They question how the OW didn't notice photos or other things, instead of focusing on their WH more.

 

This way your conscience is clear. MM who set out to deceive you should not be allowed to get away with it. If his family gets torn apart, he only has himself to blame.

 

Do it and be done. The truth will set you free.

[so gutted]

So gutted,

 

I didn't realise you were seeing other guys as well. Were you physical with them too?

 

The relationship doesn't sound like it was a very close one to me. He was upfront about being married and that he wouldn't or couldn't get divorced. I don't believe the reason he gave, but he portrayed himself as seperated.

 

If like a lot of people are suggesting that she already knows, then you telling her won't be a suprise now will it?

If the BS gets hurt, it's because of her WSs actions and not you.

 

Without going into too much detail, you can say 'I was in a relationship with your H for 18 months. He told me he was seperated. Something has come to my attention that makes me believe what about being seperated was untrue. I have further information...Please contact me on tel number 1234556777. Even if you do not wish to know any more, please call (not text) to confirm that you received this message '

 

If she calls you can tell her about his love nest. Many BWs are in denial and refuse to believe the OW didn't or couldn't have known he was married. They question how the OW didn't notice photos or other things, instead of focusing on their WH more.

 

This way your conscience is clear. MM who set out to deceive you should not be allowed to get away with it. If his family gets torn apart, he only has himself to blame.

 

Do it and be done. The truth will set you free.

 

Thanks. No not physical with them.

[Zagan]

Well your post says 2 years but you've just said you were 'friends for 1 year'.. His personal life has nothing to do with you as a friend, nevermind what he's told you.

 

Doesn't sound to me like you had a relationship at all. And if you were seeing other people I'm not sure why you're acting all woman scorned now because you clearly weren't emotionally invested in it.

 

I think this is one of those situations where 'there are two sides to every story' comes into play because I can bet his version of events would be extremely different to yours.