Revenge [pertaining to infidelity]

[Susmay]

I quit coming back, because the thread was "hijacked", hahaha

 

Anyways, the revenge would be mine (BS) on the OM. Exposure to his friends and family is not an option anymore, his wife did it. And also divorced him.

My idea was to either humiliate and embarrass him, or hurt his business. He works with his father, mother and sister, they have a real estate agency.

What I could have done (now it's too late) was to create a situation where he would be really, really mad at me (wouldn't be difficult, I already had options), to the point that he would come to my house to do something about it. Then either get him arrested, or shoot him (I live in Texas, so I would walk away).

 

 

Many of us actually did focus on revenge by the BS on the OW/OM!

 

 

Personally I would limit it to exposure. I can't imagine or recommend trying to provoke the AP with the intention of inflicting violence on them, on the assumption I would get away with it.

 

 

I'd leave this in the realm of a revenge fantasy but if you must do something don't shoot him, just stick to scenarios with no realistic potential for physical harm. Be aware it will be out of your control so you or someone you care about, or even other innocent bystanders might get harmed.

[regret143]

Many of us actually did focus on revenge by the BS on the OW/OM!

 

 

Personally I would limit it to exposure. I can't imagine or recommend trying to provoke the AP with the intention of inflicting violence on them, on the assumption I would get away with it.

 

 

I'd leave this in the realm of a revenge fantasy but if you must do something don't shoot him, just stick to scenarios with no realistic potential for physical harm. Be aware it will be out of your control so you or someone you care about, or even other innocent bystanders might get harmed.

 

No worries, the opportunity for the bloody scenario has long gone.

Exposure is also gone, because it was already done by his wife. Even his own employees say **** about him on his back.

 

Destroy his car's paint job is also an exciting idea!

[autumnnight]

I quit coming back, because the thread was "hijacked", hahaha

 

Anyways, the revenge would be mine (BS) on the OM. Exposure to his friends and family is not an option anymore, his wife did it. And also divorced him.

My idea was to either humiliate and embarrass him, or hurt his business. He works with his father, mother and sister, they have a real estate agency.

What I could have done (now it's too late) was to create a situation where he would be really, really mad at me (wouldn't be difficult, I already had options), to the point that he would come to my house to do something about it. Then either get him arrested, or shoot him (I live in Texas, so I would walk away).

 

This concerns me greatly. I would love for those who are pro-revenge to weigh in.

[regret143]

This concerns me greatly. I would love for those who are pro-revenge to weigh in.

 

Let me clarify.

Get him for trespassing and attempt to assault was the original idea, but realizing he could be bringing a gun, I'd legally shoot him.

 

But it's in the past now...

[autumnnight]

Let me clarify.

Get him for trespassing and attempt to assault was the original idea, but realizing he could be bringing a gun, I'd legally shoot him.

 

But it's in the past now...

 

So...tricking him into getting shot.

 

That isn't much different. But I guess it could be worse. At least it didn't cross your mind to kill someone's child (I read about someone who did that).

[AnotherSadSong]

You want to shoot a man and destroy him because you invited him into a porn fest of sexual affairs with your wife! He may have thought she was available goods after that. There is no respect in the entire situation. I read an older post in which you listed 200 absurd questions (obsessive and highly weird) to your wife about this man. There were no questions about her. How did my inviting strange men into our relationship to have sex with you affect you? Your value ? Your self esteem? There were no you's just me me me.

 

 

You really need professional help when you are considering culling a man in to murder him Texas style. You are highly jealous of this man for all materialistic reasons. Lesson learned, do not invite strangers to have sex with your wife especially those with a better lifestyle, more money and better cars, since you seem hung up on these issues.

 

 

Leave the man be, you are stalking him and obsessing over him. You are a danger. Chill out!

[Susmay]

This concerns me greatly. I would love for those who are pro-revenge to weigh in.

 

 

Was this directed at me? I'm absolutely pro-exposure and acknowledge it as revenge. However I've already commented that I do not condone what the OP is suggesting nor anything else involving death, injury, damage to property, stalking innocent people, and pretty well everything apart from legally permissible exposure.

 

 

For some reason every time I mention this, it gets interpreted that I'm saying "anything goes apart from murder". I'm merely suggesting exposure but nothing illegal, and that's it.

[AnotherSadSong]

Was this directed at me? I'm absolutely pro-exposure and acknowledge it as revenge. However I've already commented that I do not condone what the OP is suggesting nor anything else involving death, injury, damage to property, stalking innocent people, and pretty well everything apart from legally permissible exposure.

 

 

For some reason every time I mention this, it gets interpreted that I'm saying "anything goes apart from murder". I'm merely suggesting exposure but nothing illegal, and that's it.

 

 

I do not think it was directed at you but to those that think revenge whatever it may be is to be expected and accepted. However, by reading your posts you seem sane enough not to buy into regrets need for extreme justice. The entire situation is not normal. I am seriously worried about the OP in this situation. Murder was mentioned, breaking into bank accounts, personal social media sites.. It is past crazy.

[autumnnight]

Was this directed at me? I'm absolutely pro-exposure and acknowledge it as revenge. However I've already commented that I do not condone what the OP is suggesting nor anything else involving death, injury, damage to property, stalking innocent people, and pretty well everything apart from legally permissible exposure.

 

 

For some reason every time I mention this, it gets interpreted that I'm saying "anything goes apart from murder". I'm merely suggesting exposure but nothing illegal, and that's it.

 

No it was not directed at you.

 

It is, however, directed at anyone who has ever mentioned or read about a murder involving infidelity and who responded, "Well, when you cheat you just never know..."

 

Because that statement condones murder on some level, whether we admit it or not.

[regret143]

I do not think it was directed at you but to those that think revenge whatever it may be is to be expected and accepted. However, by reading your posts you seem sane enough not to buy into regrets need for extreme justice. The entire situation is not normal. I am seriously worried about the OP in this situation. Murder was mentioned, breaking into bank accounts, personal social media sites.. It is past crazy.

 

Ok, shooting it's a stretch. It's those things that one has fantasies about, but hardly act on it.

But, c'mon, brake in Facebook, is not that serious.

[regret143]

You want to shoot a man and destroy him because you invited him into a porn fest of sexual affairs with your wife! He may have thought she was available goods after that. There is no respect in the entire situation. I read an older post in which you listed 200 absurd questions (obsessive and highly weird) to your wife about this man. There were no questions about her. How did my inviting strange men into our relationship to have sex with you affect you? Your value ? Your self esteem? There were no you's just me me me.

 

 

You really need professional help when you are considering culling a man in to murder him Texas style. You are highly jealous of this man for all materialistic reasons. Lesson learned, do not invite strangers to have sex with your wife especially those with a better lifestyle, more money and better cars, since you seem hung up on these issues.

 

 

Leave the man be, you are stalking him and obsessing over him. You are a danger. Chill out!

 

I didn't invite anyone.

I have noticed that everyone that is strongly against any kind of non standard form of relationship is always the ones that quickly judge me as pervert and abusive and all sorts of things.

People may be different than you, but that doesn't make them necessarily wrong.

A example of this is what happen to gay people and atheists. All judged as wrong by the religious (Specially Christians) because the have different views on life.

[goodyblue]

Was this the thread where there was some confusion about what the OP meant? Then posters said he'd clarified what he meant but he hadn't. Sorry if I've got this wrong but there are at least 2 similar threads on revenge after infidelity, with many posts, and the threads have been moved from where they originally were.

 

 

Anyway in the original post he talks about revenge on the BS and the OW/OM. Later people discuss revenge on the WS. There's also the question of who's taking the revenge, so there a number of permutations of revenge relationships.

 

 

Here are my thoughts on exposure as a form of revenge, where nothing that is illegal or could be a legal (civil or criminal) offence occurs:

 

 

BS exposing the WS: This is up to the BS, but seems counterproductive if the BS and WS have agreed to at least try to reconcile. The BS and WS have made promises to each other that they may want to keep.

 

 

BS exposing the OW/OM: Again up to the BS. Again the BS needs to consider whether this will adversely impact her own family, marriage, support systems and wellbeing. Generally the BS has not made any promises to the AP so may consider s/he has no obligations to keep it a secret. Exposure is a good way of ending the A because often the OW/OM is embarrassed by what has happened and doesn't want others to know.

 

 

The WS exposing the OW/OM: Hmm seems it may be a breach of whatever agreements/arrangements the APs may have made. Perhaps the BS may insist on it. Generally after several years on LS I have rarely (if ever) seen this.

 

 

The OW/OM exposing the WS: Probably also a breach of whatever private arrangements the APs have made, but very common. Rationalisations abound from the OW/OM as to why they did it, or are contemplating it.

 

 

The OW/OM exposing the BS: The idea seems odd at first but sometimes OW/OM see the BS being cheated on as a weakness, or feel the BS is a bad person so assume (sometimes wrongly) that the BS is as worried about exposure of either the BS themselves or their WS.

 

 

My only experience of exposure is as the BW exposing the OW where I felt it could do her most damage and my WH no damage, and of exposing my WH to family and friends as a means of getting support for myself and our marriage recovery. Fortunately they no longer worked together and we move in different circles so there was virtually no overlap or crossover. I didn't regret this (it was many years ago now) and there was no adverse impact on me.

 

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