Ladies, this is how you write a bad dating profile.

[elaine567]

Bitter is bitter. You can't sit here and tell me that my perception of the tone of the profile is wrong, because its whatever the beholder makes of it.

 

I'm glad that you like it. Men don't. Her inbox is probably dripping like the bathroom faucet, when it could have a more steady stream.

 

I guess she doesn't want a steady stream of guys who do not get her sense of humour.

The concept that women do not actually enjoy lots of incompatible guys hitting on them seems alien to some.

Most women, would rather have one guy interested that ticks her boxes, than 100 guys texting stuff like "Wanna have some fun !! I do babe."

[elaine567]

Then you may want to straighten out your attitude...since this is happening a lot. When it becomes a consistent pattern, you may want to rethink you're attitude.

 

I'm wondering, what kind of sarcastic remarks are you making on these first dates?

 

YOU may want to straighten out your attitude.

 

If Eternal Sunshine is naturally sarcastic, then surely she needs to attract and find someone who can cope with that, someone who enjoys that, someone who can give as good as they get, not change her whole personality because it appears to offend you or other people.

[joseb]

I love her profile. I also understand that most men "don't get it". I am naturally sarcastic and it doesn't go down well with quite a lot of men I go on dates with. It's like they expect me to be sweet and to compliment them only

 

If she wants to cast the net wide, she needs to write a more "boring" profile. If my current relationship doesn't work out, I am tempted to do something similar. At least I can screen for sarcastic men.

 

Well here's the thing. I'm extremely sarcastic generally. I do get in trouble for it sometimes. I love british humour, and banter.

 

I did not love this profile. I didn't think it was as bad as some said, but I would not be contacting her.

[Keenly]

Sarcasm is well and fine but there is a dynamic to sarcasm..you don't just start off with it. You need to build rapport so that you don't seem like an Ahole when you start acting like a sarcastic one.

 

 

Rapport first, sarcasm later.

[katiegrl]

It's really all about perception. I mean, if you're going to see, "I'm looking for a REAL MAN!"

 

Also, in written form, it doesn't translate well, and if it is a form of humor...it just doesn't come off well in written format.

 

Sarcasm in written format, just doesn't pull off well as opposed to face-to-face.

 

Did you even read the profile? There was NO "I'm looking for a REAL MAN".

 

Nor were there any other such negative comments that people are suggesting she wrote.

 

There *were* comments that "might" be interpreted as negative...if one does not understand sarcasm....and a somehat off-beat and, okay, jaded, sense of humor.

 

But she even said herself (after the OP sent her his critique)...that her intention was to be funny! And okay, sarcastic, but certainly not rude or offensive, as the OP interpreted it.

 

****Take note, the OP has now been communicating with her and even admitted himself he finds her quite nice and very cool!

 

So gee...call me crazy but since the OP took the time and energy to respond to her at all, and is *continuing* to respond to and communicate with her.....she must have done something right!!!

 

She knew her profile would strike a chord and cause a stir....garnering her attention and responses from men ..... including the OP!

 

And now, since the OP *has* been communicating with her, he has unravled the mystery (don't men love a little mystery?).....peeled off the layers, and discovered she is a really cool lady!

 

So what does THAT tell ya? That she must have done something right by posting a profile like that....and maybe it WILL result in her meeting the man of her dreams.

 

In a round-about way perhaps....but in her OWN way and her OWN style..

Edited July 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[LookAtThisPOst]

So gee...call me crazy but since the OP took the time and energy to respond to her at all, and is *continuing* to respond to and communicate with her.....she must have done something right!!!

 

Well, good thing she "policed" her profile and scored a date with her.

[katiegrl]

Well, good thing she "policed" her profile and scored a date with her.

 

Point being, he responded to her *original* profile.....so despite his assertions to the contrary, something must have *intrigued* him enough to take the time and energy to respond... under the *guise* of criticism?

 

...thus unraveling the mystery and uncovering the layers...

 

I am sure he will deny being intrigued..... but his ACTIONS say otherwise.

Edited July 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[elaine567]

Her new profile is pretty bland now.

[katiegrl]

Her new profile is pretty bland now.

 

What a shame. If she were my friend, I would tell her to put the old one back up!

 

Criticism or not...it reflected the REAL her....and got her responses.

 

Now the men who respond will think she's dull! Nice....but dull.

 

Ugh.

[Keenly]

What a shame. If she were my friend, I would tell her to put the old one back up!

 

Criticism or not...it reflected the REAL her....and got her responses.

 

Now the men who respond will think she's dull! Nice....but dull.

 

Ugh.

You are viewing this through the eyes of a female and it's jading your view of it. Men don't think like that. We don't assume A woman is borong because she doesn't have sarcasm or a list in her profile.

[BluEyeL]

How can I actually read the now famous and controversial profile?

[katiegrl]

You are viewing this through the eyes of a female and it's jading your view of it. Men don't think like that. We don't assume A woman is borong because she doesn't have sarcasm or a list in her profile.

 

No I am viewing it through the lens of reality ---- that reality being the OP responded to her ORIGINAL profile....and has continued responding to and communicating with her.

 

And in doing so, has gotten to know her and discovered she is a very cool lady! All because he responded to her *original* profile.

 

You think he would have responded to her profile as it is now? Being that it's so bland? As elaine said?

 

No probably not. Bland profiles don't *intrigue* men.....don't stir up their emotions the way her original profile did...

 

Even though he claimed to be pissed off by it...let's get real, he would not have bothered responding at all if it hadn't intrigued him on some level. He will deny it, but like I said, his actions say otherwise.

 

And Keenly I have to ask....did YOU read her original profile? Didn't think so.

Edited July 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[Keenly]

No I am viewing it through the lens of reality ---- that reality being the OP responded to her ORIGINAL profile....and has continued responding to and communicating with her.

 

And in doing so, has gotten to know her and discovered she is a very cool lady! All because he responded to her *original* profile.

 

You think he would have responded to her profile as it is now? Being that it's so bland? As elaine said?

 

No probably not. Bland profiles don't *intrigue* men.....don't stir up their emotions the way her original profile did...

 

Even though he claimed to be pissed off by it...let's get real, he would not have bothered responding at all if it hadn't intrigued him on some level. He will deny it, but like I said, his actions say otherwise.

 

And Keenly I have to ask....did YOU read her original profile? Didn't think so.

 

 

Again, I have to repeat because you are not getting the point. You are looking at the profile through the eyes of a woman, and are reading it as a woman reads a profile.

 

The way you are looking at the profile is not the way men look at the profile.

 

 

This is how It works for men.

 

Attractive?

Can she form basic sentences?

Do we have common interests?

Does it look like she has a chip on her shoulder, crazy or like she has issues?

 

If All criteria are met, proceed to messaging.

 

 

 

I do not Believe for one second that a guy passes up a profile because it doesn't contain sarcasm..

[BluEyeL]

I got sent the profile, thank you! Well, it was a REALLY REALLY bad profile. Sorry girls. The profile is cringeworthy.

 

She's not really standing out as much as you'd think, there are a lot of profiles like that out there and it's not anything very original. Just a bunch of ranting. Men have profiles like that too. "If you're a high maintenance princess, DON'T WRITE. If you don't know how to treat a man, move on to the next! If you have a problem dating short men, don't bother blah blah blah..." Just rambling.

 

I stand by my comments above. I can see she got her critic to go out with her. Overall though, it's not a good idea, I'd not adopt that style. Again, not even interesting. You can stand out in different ways.

[katiegrl]

Again, I have to repeat because you are not getting the point. You are looking at the profile through the eyes of a woman, and are reading it as a woman reads a profile.

 

The way you are looking at the profile is not the way men look at the profile.

 

 

This is how It works for men.

 

Attractive?

Can she form basic sentences?

Do we have common interests?

Does it look like she has a chip on her shoulder, crazy or like she has issues?

 

If All criteria are met, proceed to messaging. Please

 

 

 

I do not Believe for one second that a guy passes up a profile because it doesn't contain sarcasm..

 

First of all, neither I nor anyone else said or even implied a man passes up a profile because it does not contain sarcasm. Where did you get that? That is nuts, and no one said that.

 

And actually....this is not how I, a woman, is interpreting this ......nor is it about what she even wrote in her profile, or whether she came off as having a chip on her shoulder or whatevs.

 

It's about the FACT that apparently her original profile was intriguing enough that the OP (a MALE!!)... responded to it! And has been continuing to respond to her...taking even more time and energy getting to know her........ again, all because he responded to her ORIGINAL profile!

 

Come on Keenly, you are an intelligent guy.....studying to be a nurse.

 

This is about basic human nature...human behavior 101.

 

No man would would have taken the time and energy to respond back....if he had not been at least somewhat intrigued on some level. Whether to critique her or not. He just wouldn't!

 

Even if he denies it.....once again, his actions and the fact he responded back at all and continued responding says otherwise.

 

If you still can't grasp this...then sorry don't know what to tell ya!

Edited July 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[Keenly]

I don't know who's studying to be a nurse, but it's definitely not me. I'd fail the phlebotomy aspect Of that class every time.

 

 

You can choose to invalidate my opinion, and that's fine, but what do I know. I'm only a guy who's been on OLD on and off for 3 years.

[katiegrl]

I don't know who's studying to be a nurse, but it's definitely not me. I'd fail the phlebotomy aspect Of that class every time.

 

 

You can choose to invalidate my opinion, and that's fine, but what do I know. I'm only a guy who's been on OLD on and off for 3 years.

 

Sorry, I was mixing you up with another poster... Krieger. My bad, sorry.

 

And again did you read the profile?

 

Even if you did read it though.....and found it offensive.....and chose to not respond.....that is your prerogative.

 

But again, apparently not ALL MEN (the OP)....felt that way because the fact remains the OP DID respond to it! And has been continuing his communique with her...all because he responded to it.

 

This is not about your opinion or even my opinion.

 

For whatever reason, he was intrigued enough to respond to it......those are the facts!

[autumnnight]

How many people commenting on this profile right now have actually read it, I wonder? It was gone pretty quickly.

 

I didn't, but I can guess. I know women like this...well, I only know 2 in real life, but the internet is full of them. They take the contrary, anti-feminine (notice I said feminine) position most of the time, are aggressive, assume that it is always the man's fault...well, unless the woman is like me and wears pink, lace, and doesn't mind making a sandwich for a man. Those women never like women like me

 

They confuse bitterness with empowerment. They usually have really bad frown lines too lol

[katiegrl]

I got sent the profile, thank you! Well, it was a REALLY REALLY bad profile. Sorry girls. The profile is cringeworthy.

 

She's not really standing out as much as you'd think, there are a lot of profiles like that out there and it's not anything very original. Just a bunch of ranting. Men have profiles like that too. "If you're a high maintenance princess, DON'T WRITE. If you don't know how to treat a man, move on to the next! If you have a problem dating short men, don't bother blah blah blah..." Just rambling.

 

I stand by my comments above. I can see she got her critic to go out with her. Overall though, it's not a good idea, I'd not adopt that style. Again, not even interesting. You can stand out in different ways.

 

Okay fine. So why did the OP take the time and energy to respond... even to critique her?

 

I mean why bother....if it didn't intrigue **him** and stir **his** emotions on some level.

 

Most men like Keenly would have just hit next. Which is their prerogative!

 

But to allow a profile to "get to" you so severely that you take the time and energy to craft such a well thought out and somewhat articulate response to it?

 

Is this how men behave when they are totally disgusted and turned off?

 

I am not a man.....but I think not!

[Keenly]

Sorry, I was mixing you up with another poster... Krieger. My bad, sorry.

 

And again did you read the profile?

 

Even if you did read it though.....and found it offensive.....and chose to not respond.....that is your prerogative.

 

But again, apparently not ALL MEN (the OP)....felt that way because the fact remains the OP DID respond to it! And has been continuing his communique with her...all because he responded to it.

 

This is not about your opinion or even my opinion.

 

For whatever reason, he was intrigued enough to respond to it......those are the facts!

 

So if we are using the mere fact that a message was sent and we equate that to implied interest, the guy who saw her profile and sent her a message calling her a stuck up C word, ( we all know this happens) he would be expressing interest too, right?

 

Sending a message doesn't necessarily mean interest. I've sent a message to point out some terrible autocorrects some women missed as a nice gesture, but that doesn't mean I was interested.

[katiegrl]

So if we are using the mere fact that a message was sent and we equate that to implied interest, the guy who saw her profile and sent her a message calling her a stuck up C word, ( we all know this happens) he would be expressing interest too, right?

 

Sending a message doesn't necessarily mean interest. I've sent a message to point out some terrible autocorrects some women missed as a nice gesture, but that doesn't mean I was interested.

 

No you are right sending a rude message back certainly does not indicate interest.

 

But the OP did not send a rude response back....he took the time to craft a thoughtful and articulate response.

 

And I did NOT say he was *interested*.....I said her profile must have "intrigued" him.....two different things.

 

Not to mention, he continued communicating with her!!!! Which "does* indicate interest.

 

Anyhoo, it's been great chatting but gotta run....off to work.

 

Ciao!

[Keenly]

Yeah... I'm still saying that its a bad idea to make a bitter profile and try to pass it off as sarcasm.

 

Long lists of " don't message me if " in particular, it just makes you look high maintenence and closed minded.

 

 

What hits the eye better is a list of likes rather than dislikes.

[katiegrl]

Yeah... I'm still saying that its a bad idea to make a bitter profile and try to pass it off as sarcasm.

 

Long lists of " don't message me if " in particular, it just makes you look high maintenence and closed minded.

 

 

What hits the eye better is a list of likes rather than dislikes.

 

I agree, if in fact she IS bitter and is hiding that bitterness under the guise of sarcasm...

 

But apparently as it turns out, she is not bitter and her humor and sarcasm were genuine...as is reflected in her new updated "bland" profile..... and the fact the OP has admitted she is, in fact, a very nice and cool lady.....and NOT bitter.

 

Would he have found any of this out had her original profile been bland as it is now? No because he probably would not have felt compelled to respond in the first place.

 

Pehaps that was her whole point for posting it! To stir emotions and garner responses based on those stirred emotions....

 

Just sain...

 

.

Edited July 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[introverted1]

You ladies are very stubborn. We try and give tips the same way you give these struggling guys, you know "don't sound bitter, girls don't like that" but when we try and tell you what doesn't work, your up on a high horse "Some people like it, yada yada"

 

Guess what? When you see a guy with a bitter profile and it's not funny, that's how this looks to us! Lol

 

Alright ignore me, but I'mma be LMAO when you figure out what kinda guys actually like a profile like that.

 

There's nothing funny about it. Geez, women will defend anything from another woman.

 

Bitter is bitter. You can't sit here and tell me that my perception of the tone of the profile is wrong, because its whatever the beholder makes of it.

 

I'm glad that you like it. Men don't. Her inbox is probably dripping like the bathroom faucet, when it could have a more steady stream.

 

You are missing the point.

 

It's not like the woman came here and said, I've put up my profiie and no one is messaging me, what am I doing wrong? Or, Where are all the good guys? Or some variation on those themes.

 

Instead, someone else from the same site stumbled on her profile and decided to post it here as an example of an ineffective profile. But we have no way of judging whether it is effective or ineffective because we have no way of knowing what the woman's inbox looks like. Or, even more important, whether she's met someone with whom she clicks.

 

It's pretty telling that the majority of people opposed to her profile are giving suggestions for ways to attract more responses. I think most people who do OLD with a sincere desire for a LTR aren't looking for more responses but for better responses. And, for all we know, that's exactly what she's getting. Or not.

[katiegrl]

You are missing the point.

 

It's not like the woman came here and said, I've put up my profiie and no one is messaging me, what am I doing wrong? Or, Where are all the good guys? Or some variation on those themes.

 

Instead, someone else from the same site stumbled on her profile and decided to post it here as an example of an ineffective profile. But we have no way of judging whether it is effective or ineffective because we have no way of knowing what the woman's inbox looks like. Or, even more important, whether she's met someone with whom she clicks.

 

It's pretty telling that the majority of people opposed to her profile are giving suggestions for ways to attract more responses. I think most people who do OLD with a sincere desire for a LTR aren't looking for more responses but for better responses. And, for all we know, that's exactly what she's getting. Or not.

 

 

Exactly...and apparently her "bitter" and "negative" profile resulted in the OP responding (even if it was under the guise of criticism) and continuing to respond....to the point that NOW he thinks she a very nice and cool lady!

 

 

So there ya go.....