Ladies, this is how you write a bad dating profile.

[kendahke]

I said the phrase twice and all of a sudden Im stuck on it? Seems like youre stuck on my saying it and dislike how crass it sounds. Next time I will say fling instead, just for you.

 

Do that little thing.

[joseb]

BUT an "older" woman or man with a kid, a past, a load of experience and not a lot of time on their hands, does not want to waste time dating people they would not in a month of Sundays ever consider speaking to for more than 3 mins, let alone date.

Weeding out those incompatible at stage one is a bonus in my book, not an issue, as some would have us believe...

 

I agree with the statement that it's good to weed out people. However, I don't really see that profile weeding out bad guys and attracting good ones. I see it as weeding out most guys and attracting the ones who either have a poor enough opinion of themselves, or just hit on any profile as a numbers game.

I think a chuck of her profile, if written a little less confrontation-ally, was actually pretty good. It's just the overly negative vibe she gave to me (as a man who is not into over the top bubbly for the sake of it fluff either) would make it unlikely I would consider her.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Frank, honest profiles give an insight into who they are and who they want to attract.

 

Actually, these are not candidates for the long term. As they are already bitter and not off to a good start when they are dating.

 

People (both men and women) with profiles such as these should step back from online dating as they are going into it with a bad attitude and if they should ever meet someone face-to-face, may have an impact on the poor souls that they meet up with.

[joseb]

Do that little thing.

 

I must admit I dislike the phrase a lot myself.

[toscaroscura]

You know what's funny, if a man had such a demanding, rigid, and non-compromising sounding profile...and he would post it in some kind of "critique section" of a message board...he'd get ripped for sounding so "negative"

 

But if a woman's dating profile sounds "negative" then she's "Just stating what she wants." *Audience of women get up and then applaud loudly for her*

 

 

Yes, the point being, SHE didn't put her profile up for critique HERSELF. Your example is like comparing apples to oranges. Kaylan took it upon himself to contact a total stranger, that he wasn't even interested in dating, and proceeded to "school" her. Why? He didn't want to date her, in fact, he has no goodwill towards her, as he has been very contemptuous of her in this thread.

 

If a man on the dating site I was using posted such a negative profile, I would simply click away and move ON. I wouldn't get all riled up and feel the need to school him on how to be with the ladies. I would not feel entitled to have him capitulate to my demands, to please ME (even though, haha, I would never date a loser like HIM). I would not post his profile on another forum so other women and I could harp on about what an ugly, ballsy loser he is, and then pat myself on the back if he had listened to my "helpful advice".

[smackie9]

Her profile is very negative and there is so much bitterness and anger there. Perhaps this says something about those who would choose to interact with her. I like polite, happy, caring, positive people. Its nothing to do with "cutesy" as Katie and others suggest.

 

And also.....geeez it's not like he told her that she needed to show more cleavage.

[LoveRefreshed]

 

I hate when some come on here and generalize and say, "men do not like that stuff", the truth is SOME men do not like that stuff.

 

 

 

 

Stereotypes are averages, and averages are a statistical fact. Your average man is probably like you're average woman. They want someone to spend time with that makes them happy, laugh and to enjoy the little things in life with.

 

Regardless of this specific profile, you can be direct and know what you want while conveying it without sounding so aggressive. I've known a lot of men who post their profiles and are told to make their profile sounds more "fun/ny, adventurous, more positive, less bitter sounding" all the time. It's because the average person wants positivity in their lives, not the opposite.

[BlueIris]

Yes, the point being, SHE didn't put her profile up for critique HERSELF. Your example is like comparing apples to oranges. Kaylan took it upon himself to contact a total stranger, that he wasn't even interested in dating, and proceeded to "school" her. Why? He didn't want to date her, in fact, he has no goodwill towards her, as he has been very contemptuous of her in this thread.

 

If a man on the dating site I was using posted such a negative profile, I would simply click away and move ON. I wouldn't get all riled up and feel the need to school him on how to be with the ladies. I would not feel entitled to have him capitulate to my demands, to please ME (even though, haha, I would never date a loser like HIM). I would not post his profile on another forum so other women and I could harp on about what an ugly, ballsy loser he is, and then pat myself on the back if he had listened to my "helpful advice".

 

Oh, yes! The irony is delicious isn't it?

[jay1983]

You ladies are very stubborn. We try and give tips the same way you give these struggling guys, you know "don't sound bitter, girls don't like that" but when we try and tell you what doesn't work, your up on a high horse "Some people like it, yada yada"

 

Guess what? When you see a guy with a bitter profile and it's not funny, that's how this looks to us! Lol

 

Alright ignore me, but I'mma be LMAO when you figure out what kinda guys actually like a profile like that.

Edited July 7, 2015 by jay1983

[guest569]

You ladies are very stubborn. We try and give tips the same way you give these struggling guys, you know "don't sound bitter, girls don't like that" but when we try and tell you what doesn't work, your up on a high horse "Some people like it, yada yada"

 

Guess what? When you see a guy with a bitter profile and it's not funny, that's how this looks to us! Lol

 

Alright ignore me, but I'mma be LMAO when you figure out what kinda guys actually like a profile like that.

 

It also sounded like she was very emotional and all over the shop. I like clear and concise, light and fun, the serious stuff comes as you get to know each other. If a man in my area wrote that profile there is no way i would write to him even if he had great photos.

[jay1983]

FIRST, as I stated earlier.. the saying is "You catch more flies with honey"! You don't catch bees with honey, they fricken make honey. You catch flies, and you use the flies to fly fish and find your food. Now that we fixed the saying; I love that she responded and changed her message.

 

There is nothing wrong with being straight forward, but she was incredibly negative. not sure who wrote it, but I loved it.. it's the difference between saying "I want man who looks more into my personality than my appearance" versus "If you just want to **** me like EVERY OTHER MAN then SWIPE LEFT!" These are the most annoying statements I read. As if it weren't obvious and that men who just wanted to **** you were going to be straight forward. Good wish bro (sis).

 

Anyway, you catch flies with honey, jfc.

 

It also sounded like she was very emotional and all over the shop. I like clear and concise, light and fun, the serious stuff comes as you get to know each other. If a man in my area wrote that profile there is no way i would write to him even if he had great photos.

 

I didn't even see it, I'm just going by what I read on the post above yours. I've seen those, and and joseb is right. You're not gonna catch quality guys, it's gonna be guys fishing with a net and guys with low self worth.

 

A couple I've come across were something like

 

I'm a such and such for a living, don't ask me, you know how to use Google.

If I give you my number don't send me a pic of your dick.

 

Don't ask for a full body shot. If your worried I'll be 300 lbs, I'm not

The whole thing comes across like screaming. Yeah it's funny, but not in an attractive way.

 

 

let's be real, I don't date black guys. I'd like to meet a guy I like, but I won't cause site and all the other ones suck!

 

it's funny, but What am I supposed to write to her? Do I even wanna meet this crazy bitch?

[minimariah]

Kaylan took it upon himself to contact a total stranger, that he wasn't even interested in dating, and proceeded to "school" her.

 

LMAO, this baffles me the most. folks have way too much free time on their hands.

 

I never understood how a woman who is ok looking with a kid can demand things in her profile

 

comments like these make me want to bang my head against the wall.

 

repeatedly.

 

until i forget i ever read that trash.

[elaine567]

It just struck me, I think there may be a UK/US split here.

UK people in general find sarcasm, irony, a bit of bitterness, a bit of jadedness very funny.

 

We, British tend to love aggressively sarcastic or denigrating humour, so if she is pitching to a UK audience I think this woman's profile will be right on the money for the men she wants to attract.

 

Joking aside, British really do have unique sense of humour - This Britain - UK - The Independent

He highlighted the difference between Ricky Gervais's dreadful character David Brent and his much less embarrassing US counterpart played by Steve Carell. "The British may have a greater tolerance for a wide range of expressions of humour, including what many Americans might consider aggressively sarcastic or denigrating: like Fawlty Towers and Blackadder. In the North American version of The Office the lead character is much less insensitive and intolerant than in the original UK version," he added.

[katiegrl]

It just struck me, I think there may be a UK/US split here.

UK people in general find sarcasm, irony, a bit of bitterness, a bit of jadedness very funny.

 

 

^^Which is precisely what her profile was, or was *intended to be.* Stress sarcastic and funny!

 

Personally, I thought it was hilarious and so did my boyfriend. But we love banter and we both have a tendency to be quite sarcastic at times too. We *get it* when others are as well.

 

Note we are not even British. I am Lithuanian and he's Swedish...... so go figure.

 

It's a shame most of you who feel compelled to shred this woman to pieces did not even read it.

 

You are basing your judgments and negative opinions on a few who *did* read it ..... and who either have no sense of humor, are overly-sensitive, get offended easily and/or who simply misinterpreted her intention.

 

This "let's all jump on the negative bandwagon" mentality is really disheartening. Especially considering most of you didn't even read the profile.

 

Whatevs.

Edited July 7, 2015 by katiegrl

[LookAtThisPOst]

It's really all about perception. I mean, if you're going to see, "I'm looking for a REAL MAN!"

 

Also, in written form, it doesn't translate well, and if it is a form of humor...it just doesn't come off well in written format.

 

Sarcasm in written format, just doesn't pull off well as opposed to face-to-face.

 

^^Which is precisely what her profile was, or was *intended to be.* Stress sarcastic and funny!

 

Personally, I thought it was hilarious and so did my boyfriend. But we love banter and we both have a tendency to be quite sarcastic at times too. We *get it* when others are as well.

 

Note we are not even British. I am Lithuanian and he's Swedish...... so go figure.

 

It's a shame most of you who feel compelled to shred this woman to pieces did not even read it.

 

You are basing your judgments and negative opinions on a few who *did* read it ..... and who either have no sense of humor, are overly-sensitive, get offended easily and/or who simply misinterpreted her intention.

 

This "let's all jump on the negative bandwagon" mentality is really disheartening. Especially considering most of you didn't even read the profile.

 

Whatevs.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Heck, I've even seen pictures of women flippin' the bird...I sent her a message saying, "You might want to drop that photo if you want to attract a decent man."

 

She said, "Dude, chill....it's just my sense of humor!"

 

And I'm like "Whatever, if you say so! LOL"

[elaine567]

It's really all about perception. I mean, if you're going to see, "I'm looking for a REAL MAN!"

 

Also, in written form, it doesn't translate well, and if it is a form of humor...it just doesn't come off well in written format.

 

Sarcasm in written format, just doesn't pull off well as opposed to face-to-face.

 

Yes it does, sarcasm works very well written down, she even said she was going to be sarcastic and to stop reading if you do not "get" it.

 

As you say it is all about perception and a mindset.

YOU do not "get" it. She is not looking for YOU, she is looking for a man who will "get" it, who will love her cutting sense of humour, who will not be offended, who will give as good as he gets, who will find her hilarious.

I get it, GemmaUK gets it, Katiegirl and her bf gets it, many others here "get" it too.

 

Just because YOU do not "get" it, is immaterial surely, just keep walking on by, people seek those who will "get" them.

[elaine567]

Heck, I've even seen pictures of women flippin' the bird...I sent her a message saying, "You might want to drop that photo if you want to attract a decent man."

 

She said, "Dude, chill....it's just my sense of humor!"

 

And I'm like "Whatever, if you say so! LOL"

 

AND...? SO...?

 

Why are you so rigid and humourless and why are you contacting women merely to give them your advice?

Flipping the bird is not my style of humour, but I am not going to message anyone to tell them to tone it down...

Another profile policeman, we have here obviously...

 

Dude, chill...

[Keenly]

There's nothing funny about it. Geez, women will defend anything from another woman.

[BluEyeL]

I'm a woman and I do not think being sarcastic works in a dating profile. A dating profile is not a comic book story or an opportunity to be sarcastically funny. Sarcasm isn't always a positive. In a dating profile you should strive to communicate what's best about you, your life, your personality and what are you looking for in a man. It's not a place to complain, berate or make sarcastic jokes.

 

Everyone likes HAPPY people. Profiles like that come off as written by someone not really happy no matter how much "sarcastic " humor you include.

 

Look, many people accused me of being too rational. Yet, the only times I had success in my life is when I used my brain and did what it WORKS towards a goal. Every time I failed I didn't do so. Who cares if it's right that you don't show how sarcastic you are? It just does not work leading with that. People don't know you. Let them get to know you and gain their trust and then they'll understand your humor as well. There will be plenty of opportunities but not if you run good men away with negativity in s misguided attempt to be yourself.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I love her profile. I also understand that most men "don't get it". I am naturally sarcastic and it doesn't go down well with quite a lot of men I go on dates with. It's like they expect me to be sweet and to compliment them only

 

If she wants to cast the net wide, she needs to write a more "boring" profile. If my current relationship doesn't work out, I am tempted to do something similar. At least I can screen for sarcastic men.

[elaine567]

There's nothing funny about it. Geez, women will defend anything from another woman.

 

YOU just don't "get" it either.

This is NOT about women defending women, I would defend a man writing a profile in the exact same style.

[Keenly]

YOU just don't "get" it either.

This is NOT about women defending women, I would defend a man writing a profile in the exact same style.

 

Bitter is bitter. You can't sit here and tell me that my perception of the tone of the profile is wrong, because its whatever the beholder makes of it.

 

I'm glad that you like it. Men don't. Her inbox is probably dripping like the bathroom faucet, when it could have a more steady stream.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I am naturally sarcastic and it doesn't go down well with quite a lot of men I go on dates with

 

Then you may want to straighten out your attitude...since this is happening a lot. When it becomes a consistent pattern, you may want to rethink you're attitude.

 

I'm wondering, what kind of sarcastic remarks are you making on these first dates?

[serial muse]

How many people commenting on this profile right now have actually read it, I wonder? It was gone pretty quickly.