Keenly Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 We have women saying " if I was a guy, I'd message her " but you can't know that because your mind does not operate like a man's. Men don't dive head first into bitchyness and unpleasantness. No one is like " wow I meet her demand list, let me find out what else she doesn't like so I can see if I'm worthy to date the goddess known as aphrodite. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I think people just need to realize when you are posting publicly for dating, you are going to get unwanted responses. It just comes with the territory so ya just got to take it with a grain of salt. And is it really that hard to hit a delete button these days?? THB when it comes to anything that is free and unlimited to the general public, it's going to be 11% quality to 89% crap/weirdos/perverts/catfishing/critics,etc ratio. I feel ranting in your profile to try and stop the crap is counterproductive. Even if a guy that can relate to what is being posted....it's the tone that is going to steer him away. Lets face it, when people read those profiles, they look for someone who is positive, happy and who productive with their lives, not someone who is being apprehensive. IMO everyone's goal should be to make yourself look as good as possible, and that includes showing the fact you have a great attitude. It's all about selling yourself.....take a look at your profile and ask yourself, would this appeal to me if this was someones elses profile? I bet if she set her emotions aside she would see that nastiness isn't the way to catch a potential BF. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 But for most people, part of the profile is to check for compatibility. Yes First filter after looks. It is not about being in a popularity contest (60 bozos, sex freaks or scary guys attracted and counting today...), it is at the end of the day, about attracting that one man, who truly "gets" you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I don't even understand why a couple of you guys spend your time looking at women's profiles that you think are crappy and then getting all outraged about them and writing about it here??? Of course you can do it!! But why? Like you said OP you can find many women better looking with no kid and without a bitter attitude so why is this one even important to you? I am sure if I wanted to spend my time finding lame guy profiles and sharing them on here I could but why?? :confused: Trying to save the world one thread at a time! Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I think people just need to realize when you are posting publicly for dating, you are going to get unwanted responses. It just comes with the territory so ya just got to take it with a grain of salt. And is it really that hard to hit a delete button these days?? THB when it comes to anything that is free and unlimited to the general public, it's going to be 11% quality to 89% crap/weirdos/perverts/catfishing/critics,etc ratio. I feel ranting in your profile to try and stop the crap is counterproductive. Even if a guy that can relate to what is being posted....it's the tone that is going to steer him away. Lets face it, when people read those profiles, they look for someone who is positive, happy and who productive with their lives, not someone who is being apprehensive. IMO everyone's goal should be to make yourself look as good as possible, and that includes showing the fact you have a great attitude. It's all about selling yourself.....take a look at your profile and ask yourself, would this appeal to me if this was someones elses profile? I bet if she set her emotions aside she would see that nastiness isn't the way to catch a potential BF. smackie...just because YOU interpret it as negative, not ALL MEN will. Some men will appreciate her honesty and straightforwardness.....hell some men may even find her no nonsense attitude refreshing and funny! THAT's the point, to weed out the men who would find her personality "negative".... and attract the men who find her personality (her wit, sarcasm, brashness) appealing - to them! I agree, everyone's goal should be to make yourself look as good as possible -- to attract the RIGHT person *for them*. Why should her profile refect a personality and attitude that reflects someone other than who SHE really is? That makes no sense, and is an utter waste of time for both her and the men reading. What's that saying "one man's trash is another man's treasure." So true. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Then she is just showing she is fed up, and bitter at the whole dating thing.....I bet money on it she has little to no responds now that regards wanting to date her. You can't stop how people feel about negativity whether if feels like it's the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Awe, mang, I missed the profile.... always a day late and a dollar short.... somebody PM it to me. I want a refund. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 IMO peoples expectations are not too high in what they want, but are too high on the results they expect from OLD sites. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Then she is just showing she is fed up, and bitter at the whole dating thing.....I bet money on it she has little to no responds now that regards wanting to date her. You can't stop how people feel about negativity whether if feels like it's the right thing. Funny, she did not sound bitter to me at all....perhaps a little frustrated, but rightfully so, I mean who the hell *isn't* frustrated with OLD! To me, her frustration was couched with humor, albeit a bit of sarcasm.... and the right man FOR HER will interpret it that way also. And I am sure she is receiving a ton of responses still....if for no other reason than some men find her "hot"...and perhaps a bit of a challenge as well. For those who did not read the profile before it was deleted, before she changed her profile to what it is now....she apparently received a ton of messages from guys simply writing "Hi" or "Hey, wanna meet, you're so hot!" Give her a freaking break..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 IMO she just sounded like a bitter bitch who's been pump and dumped a few times and also has a bad history with her baby's father. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 IMO she just sounded like a bitter bitch who's been pump and dumped a few times and also has a bad history with her baby's father. And you are entitled to that opinion. Click next. and let it go. Again, one man's trash is another man's treasure. No need to get your knickers all in a knot about it. There is someone for everyone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 And you are entitled to that opinion. Click next. and let it go. Again, one man's trash is another man's treasure. No need to get your knickers all in a knot about it. That doesn't work for dating profiles. If she's trash to one man the chances are she's trash to every man. Although some men might still go for it because it's the only thing they can get. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 She actually took my advice really well and has made some edits to her profile. I tried to come off neutral in sending the message and she now starts her profile with: "So I was told by a very nice guy on here that my profile might come off the wrong way to some people that might not get my blunt, witty, sarcastic and straight forward personality. That being said, I am changing it so that it doesn't come off like I'm a bitter b*tch (cause I'm not) and that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar! So here goes!" Gotta give home girl props for at least trying to come off better. Here's the message I sent her Hey there. Look, I know dating can be a b!tch and that dudes online can be jackasses...but as cliche as the following proverb is, it's totally true: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Doesn't matter if your intention is not to be rude or negative...your attempt at blunt, honest, and straight forward expectations are just uninviting. Yeah yeah, you said "don't message me if that's the case". Tbh it'll be hard for quite a few guys to see through that surface and realize there's that funny, down to earth woman behind the profile. No matter how many times your profile says youre not mean, or not b!tchy...its a pretty off-putting summary nonetheless. If a man is put off by your profile, it wont necessarily mean he just wanted sex, or was intimidated, or was some kind of douche...its just that your profile does come off a tad bitter. And it will make a lot of guys feel you might be a headache (I'm trying to be straight forward, not rude here) I'm sure you're a great woman...but try and be a bit more positive. But hey, fvk it...I know you'll likely think I'm a dumb know-it-all or a soft b!tchboy lol. Just giving you the perspective of what a decent guy might think. And I do consider myself pretty decent haha. PS - And yes, your educational achievements are very impressive (along with the fact that you actually put together a well written profile, juxtaposed with a poorly written headline lol) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar..... She does not want "more" bees....she wants the "right" bees! My last post. Either you get what her point is or not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 I tried to approach her neutrally which is why she didnt reply all angry in her PM lol. I went the honey route though I was sorely tempted to go the vinegar route. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I feel the OP was so impacted by this profile's negativity, that it was enough for him to start a thread about it. That says a lot IMO, on how men do view women's profiles. **women are more empathetic towards other women that are struggling in the dating world so something like this wouldn't come off a negative, but more like protecting herself.....but to men it does. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I tried to approach her neutrally which is why she didnt reply all angry in her PM lol. I went the honey route though I was sorely tempted to go the vinegar route. Yeah I thought your approach was great -- thoughtful and respectful.....kudos. I would be curious to read the modified version. So....are you gonna meet her? :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 I feel the OP was so impacted by this profile's negativity, that it was enough for him to start a thread about it. That says a lot IMO, on how men do view women's profiles. **women are more empathetic towards other women that are struggling in the dating world so something like this wouldn't come off a negative, but more like protecting herself.....but to men it does. So impacted? Nope. A lot of time on my hands on a late night? Yes Lol'ing at a woman shooting herself in the foot and thinking she's prime rib? Yes Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I tried to approach her neutrally which is why she didnt reply all angry in her PM lol. I went the honey route though I was sorely tempted to go the vinegar route. This right here is a prime example of having the right attitude with (his approach), gives you the best results. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I tried to approach her neutrally which is why she didnt reply all angry in her PM lol Are you actually interested in this woman or are you just some nitpicking profile policeman?? What gives you the right to give advice to any woman as to what she says on her profile? Who is to say your "editing" will be in her best interests? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Obviously she accepted his advice so what is the problem? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 Yeah I thought your approach was great -- thoughtful and respectful.....kudos. I would be curious to read the modified version. So....are you gonna meet her? :bunny: lol nope. She sounded like she wouldnt be much fun. I feel the OP was so impacted by this profile's negativity, that it was enough for him to start a thread about it. That says a lot IMO, on how men do view women's profiles. **women are more empathetic towards other women that are struggling in the dating world so something like this wouldn't come off a negative, but more like protecting herself.....but to men it does. This has nothing to do with empathy and everything to do with having an approachable profile and personality. Her original profile was akin to approaching a girl in real life and having her give you a b!tch face and rudely make short jokes if you didnt pass her height requirement. Which she did in her profile, despite asking guys not to see her as a piece of meat. She also made too many negative statements. Thats just not an attractive profile. If a man's profile was written like that, hed NEVER get responses. Women would rightly see him as a bitter jackass with all the things written in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 Are you actually interested in this woman or are you just some nitpicking profile policeman?? What gives you the right to give advice to any woman as to what she says on her profile? Who is to say your "editing" will be in her best interests? Not interested...and really don't give a fvk if she finds prince charming or is pump and dumped for the next 10 years. I just felt compelled to give her an honest critique. Im a talker (see the post count), and I generally talk to a lot of people online for a variety of reasons. But hey, I'd like to think Im helping the male cause of reducing the overall bitchiness and entitlement of some women out in the world =P 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 This has nothing to do with empathy and everything to do with having an approachable profile and personality.. Read my post more clearly.....I said WOMEN having empathy (regarding the female posters that defend this profile) for other women who struggle with these dating sites. Link to post Share on other sites
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