daughter and thongs

[StillHurtin]

My daughter is 10 and there is no way I will allow her to wear thongs. I personally wear them myself b/c my H does find them sexy and if you buy the right size they aren't uncomfortable, at least I don't think they are. I also hate pantylines.

 

IMO 11 is still too young to be wearing thongs. You are her mother and if you don't feel comfortable w/ her wearing thongs you need to sit down and have a talk w/ her.

 

I am sure you have gotten a lot of good replies. I haven't read all your replies. I just wanted to put in my 2 cents b/c I have a daughter close in age and even though I wear thongs, she will not be allowed to wear them at her young age.

[thongs are sexy]

Let her wear them, they are really really sexy. You should buy her some thongs, i seen someone i know with thongs on it had feathers on the back.

[penkitten]

children at 11 probally dont notice panty lines yet.

i think the answer is more simple, perhaps she saw some that she liked because of the picture that was on them. these days thongs have freggin strawberry shortcake and spongebob on them, carebears too. i know because i walked thru at target the other day and saw them in my size, and i weigh 100 lbs .

so im thinking she found them and thought "how cute".

 

and you know target, they will sell your 11 yr old daughter thongs but not birth control to a 22 yr old woman .

[lilmoma1973]

I do not think no 11 yr should be thinking about being sexy at all she is still growing and changing and by her wearing thongs makes you wonder if there is a reason .. I tell you girls are starting young wanting to be sexy and grow up too fast and this can lead to wanting to be sexual ..Do you think she is doing this because she is wanting to have sex so she is doing this for her b/f? Not saying this is the case just weird for her to worry about wearing thongs !!

[penkitten]

does an 11 yr old even know what the definition of sexy is?

besides that its one of those words that makes everyone giggle?

my 11 yr old son doesnt know what a pantyline is.

[Panhandler]

Face the music, she has a boyfriend, probably knows other popular girls who wear them, and wants to act provacative. If she isn't doing sexual stuff already she may soon be doing so. First girl I had oral sex with was 11 when I was 13, more and more girls are even starting earlier than that.

[lindya]

I do not think no 11 yr should be thinking about being sexy at all she is still growing and changing and by her wearing thongs makes you wonder if there is a reason .. I tell you girls are starting young wanting to be sexy and grow up too fast

 

I read that and thought "totally!" Then I remembered that when I was 11 I longed for the sort of clothes a lot of my friends wore - and I thought my parents were ridiculously strict and old fashioned for not letting me have the high heels and little skirts I wanted to wear.

 

Lilmoma - it's not that they're growing up faster, it's just that we're getting older.

[Niccigirl]

I think u probably find it hard because ur a man, u find them sexy on women and are confused as to why ur daughter is wearing them, her mother should understand, its just underwear to us, a lot of the time a thong is practical some trousers u can see the seams of pants through which is worse as boys can imagine her knickers, this is very embarrasing for a girl. I'm 19 and started wearing them at 12ish as at this point girls start growing up, when we were little girls self image was not as important, but at the beginning of puberty girls get very paranoid over their appearance and want to fit in or to be thought of as attractive to boys, not sexually.

I think it is crucial that u dont make any kind of deal of this, it is so normal that she didnt feel the need to tell u, wot girl lets her dad no about her underwear. unless u found stockings, suspenders etc u have nothing to worry about.

Some advice from a teens point of view:

I was quite rebelious because my mum tried to restrict me and at this age it is very hard, parents want their kids to stay kids and not go out and be safe and protect them, yet give them responsibility and treat them adult when it suits them, like extra chores and leaving her to look after herself. You need to step back and remember that she has feelings, try to start teaching her adult skills subconsciously, like compromise, she can go to the disco if she makes sure she rings you at a certain time or u pick her up (and dont try to talk to her friends parents become embarrasing) Teens like to look independant and will feel so embarrased if they cant go to a sleepover coz their parents say so, or anything where u express concern for them in front of friends, try to step back as hard as it may seem as you worry about their safety. Begin getting a relationship with her where you can talk to her comfortably, apologise when your wrong, treat her to something regularly to praise her and when she acts irresponsibly take it away.

My mother couldnt handle me when i was younger, i wanted independance and to go out with friends, my way of being accepted at school was by being a bit rebellious, i was fun and daring, i got my tongue peirced when i was fourteen and my mother threw me out, she wouldnt listen to me, wouldnt try talking to me, took everything personally like i did it to upset her and was totally unreasonable, i was never prasied when i was good or got A grades (i was a rebellious straght A student) She never understood that i'm a person with needs, wants, pain, confusion etc. Hope this helps just establish some friendship b4 she gets older this is the time so she wont think she hates u in a couple of years. If she tells u wots on her mind ur in a good place, keep it there, she will probably close off at some point. Good luck teenage girls are hardwork! I was homeless at 18 coz it got bad with mum, i'm now at university!

[Neptune]

Read down one post. Corrected

[Neptune]

I have observed that a number of girls around the age of 11-12 go through a sort of mimic sexual awakening. They absorb what is going on around them like a sponge and IMITATE it. To adults onlooking it looks like budding sexuality. However, she is a kid learning to look adult. Add a year or two and she may be a big tomboy and all that sexy imitation is gone.

 

Because, it was imitation, not budding sexuality.

[lindzz]

ok...i am 14 and i remember very well when i was 11 and all that you want to do is fit in and be "cool". she may be wanting to do sexual things, she's on the way there, i mean she let her boyfriend take a picture of her ass while wearing a thong already and i'm sure the boyfriend wouldn't care if she did some sexual things to him, since 11 year olds are filled with hormones at that age. Trust me my friend has lived through something like this when she was 12.

[mrdc]

where do you buy "lick me" panties???

 

what store sells these???

[reddog63]

"Talk to her! You should be best friends. Don't judge her. She wants to be an adult and adults wear sexy panties. She probably doesn't want her underwear to be visible under her jeans or skirt. Probably most girls at school wear them. It's no big deal. Don't lose her trust on such a stupid thing. She might need you if some big problem occurs and if you disappoint her now, she will be left all alone throughout her teenage period. The fact that she didn't "report" the thong to you is alarming. Just let her know kindly and with a smile that she can tell you everything and you will always understand her. Don't punish her for not telling you anything. Troubles begin when secrets are kept and secrets start when parents are too strict."

 

My viewpoint is almost opposite of RecordProducer. I disagree.......a parent should not be "best friends"......they should be a parent and decide what is right or wrong. The fact that most kids wear them would factor zero in my decision.

 

When you state "dont make a big deal of this as it will hurt relationship". I think a child respects a parent more if the parent makes decision based on what they think is right. And if they decide that for an 11 year old, thongs are not appropriate (which I happen to agree, we are sexualizing children way too early and you can not convince me there is no sexual side to this and it is all for the sake of comfort and looks), then I do not understand how the parent will lose the trust of the child. I must be crazy, but that was a strange comment to me. And I do not find it alarming whatsoever that the child didnt tell her.

 

When I think of strick parents, I certainly wouldnt categorize one deciding that thongs are not appropriate at age 11 as being to strict.

 

You can not parent out of fear that the child will like you less or that you wont be close friends. In my opinion, if you try and raise kids in the manner you mentioned above, you will have more problems rather then less. Kids want guildlines but parents are more weak nowadays.

[Toni_no12002]

The reason thongs came about was so you couldnt see the underwear line that you see when you wear knickers.Its perfectly normal for a young girl to do this.They do it because they want to be normal to be like everyone else and to fit in.

 

Just because she wears them it doesnt mean anything.Its the fashion.No doubt there will be something else coming along in a few years time.People want to fit in.She probably feels she will if she wears thongs.I bet when you was younger you would want the latest fashion because it makes you feel like you fit in.

[reddog63]

An 11 year old girl does not need to be worrying about her panty lines.............she is a young child!

 

But we can agree to disagree

 

Ohhh, and for all those that said the thong wearing is only a practicality for someone as young as 11..........so no panty lines show , etc.................I think they are fooling themselves.

[travellingman]

only thing more scary than a 11 yo in a thong would be for me to wear one

[Toni_no12002]

But she does because her friends probably wear them .I wore them from a young age and it has nothing to do with sex.It just makes you fit in.

[mrdc]

where do you buy lick me panties?

what stores sell them?

[zara]

Ok, i was wearing thongs at the age of ten or so (i'm now 30) because i was a dancer and they fitted nicely under my leotards etc. and i was a virgin until i was 19 - so try not to panic here. However, in those days they certainly didn't come emblazoned with slogans like "lick me" and even as a grown woman i'd never wear something like that (and i'm a lapdancer!) (interestingly enough i know plenty of customers who find big pants sexy under a school skirt!). In the original post i am more concerned about the whole 'boyfriend' and 'photos' deal than the underwear.

 

I have to admit that i don't really understand the trend for having your thong show. Perhaps on this you can reach a compromise by shopping for sensible plain thongs for her (lets face it some of them are almost as ugly as big panties) and telling her you consider it tacky to show a thong above her jeans. If this is really too unsettling then 'boy shorts' style panties are actually very fashionable at the moment with most of the major stores selling them and shoipping for these in grown-up stores may be enough to make her feel more mature yet satisfy your wish for her to dress appropriately.

 

At the end of the day - underwear does not maketh the person - moral conduct and standards do.

[crazigurl4lyfe]

i'm only 14 but i've been wearing thongs since i was 10, and to be completely honest w/ you, a lot of the girls i know wear thongs... it's nothing big it's a trend.

[Reeses]

i'm only 14 but i've been wearing thongs since i was 10, and to be completely honest w/ you, a lot of the girls i know wear thongs... it's nothing big it's a trend.

 

A trend that could get you unwanted attention. When I was ten and eleven, I didn't need to wear thongs to "fit in", my personality got me "in". Eleven is just too young to be wearing thongs, especially those that have sexually charged phrases printed on them. And having a boyfriend at age 11, too young.

[RainyDayWoman]

the thong itself is not the problem here...it's the fact that she has a boyfriend who knows she is wearing them and took pictures of her in them while she lifted her skirt.

 

the little girl knows she's sexy in them (or that thongs are meant to be sexy). in this case, they're not just for comfort or to fit in.

 

and why should girls have to fit in based on underwear? good grief.

 

but this is kind of an old thread, so the 11 year old is about 12 or 13 (depending on how long she was 11 by april of 2005) and has probably had sex many times, if she didn't already.

[mrdc]

where do buy lick me panties?

what store sells them

thanks

[RainyDayWoman]

where do buy lick me panties?

what store sells them

thanks

 

 

obviously no one knows or they might have answered you, mrdc.

 

try googling. you'll get faster results.

[ms_jnj]

I work in retail the number one stolen item...thongs by young girls. It doesn't matter if they have the money or not, they are too embarassed to buy them so they steal them. She may have stolen it, even if she is a good kid. Seriously, we get like 6 + young girls each day trying to steal thongs. They aren't hoodlums always or bad kids, just too embarassed or they know full well that mom will never buy them a thong. My store prosecutes them all and we catch most of them also (most stores are pretty good at catching young, female thong stealers, because it is so common)...it might be worth talking to her about. I don't mean to insult your daughter, or call her a thief, but....no parent ever thinks their kid is stealing thongs, but it happens so frequently...

 

But personally, I do think age 11 is too young for thong wearing. I'm 22 and I don't much care for them, but I'll wear them if I am wearing slacks that show pantylines. But...most 11 year olds do not wear dress slacks and so that means she is wearing a thong for the main other reason a girl/woman wears a thong...to be sexy and/or attract sexual attention. And that is a very concerning thing with an 11 year old. Now being in 6th grade she may just want to fit in with her girlfriends....but that is concerning also because of peer pressure and because if her friends are wearing a thong for sexual attention...and thus getting sexual attention is cool....you can see where I am going.

 

Anyway I say it is worth a talk at the very least to discuss peer pressure, sexuality and perhaps...the dangers consequences if you are caught shoplifting.