ConfusedInOC Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae Just wanted to add that, I believe, the only way to truly be IN love is to be honest, completely rawly honest about who we are. Otherwise love cannot exist. For isn't Love Truth?? So perhaps, on reflection, Alphamale's Guide could be used if one wants to "keep" a woman around, but not necessarily if one is hoping to find True Love. What do you think??? Agreed. My ex could never be honest with me. But add to that you have to COMMUNICATE first to be honest. Some people have to really work hard on their communication skills and if you can't communicate with each other, love will most assuredly suffer. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Agreed. My ex could never be honest with me. But add to that you have to COMMUNICATE first to be honest. Some people have to really work hard on their communication skills and if you can't communicate with each other, love will most assuredly suffer. Yep, I almost forgot about that, OC!! COMMUNICATE YOUR HONEST FEELINGS. How about that?? I mean, I look back and the ONE time I was in Love, there was total honesty (well, on my end of it anyways). It was scarry at first, but slowly we just unraveled my insecurities, fears, thoughts, dreams & desires. It was beautiful, while it lasted! I am also reminded of this great scene in the movie Closer with Jude Law & Natalie Portman where they are trying to rekindle the old flame after he cheated on her and she says something like, "this can never work. It will never be the same because the honesty is gone." Something like that, can't remember word for word, but it really struck something in me. Link to post Share on other sites
goodnbad Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale for the same reason why women want to marry and have kids. it is biological. women always say what you are saying because of their idealistic points of view. But....when it comes down to choosing a man, they usually go for the more masculine dude vs. the more sensitive "nice guy". why is that? Um, well, it so happens I didn't marry because I felt my biological clock ticking, I got married because it was 'expected of me'.....so THERE! Pretty sad, I know, but I never truly wanted to get married (hindsight being 20/20) or have kids (ditto) but the stereotypical expectation is that a woman must two those two things or there is something wrong with her. Would I do it again? NOT! Why am I still married? The old standby: I have kidsthat I love dearly who are better off with us together than not. My hubby doesn't happen to be a hugely masculine dude, I would call him sensitive and nice for the most part.....but we are just not ideally suited for each other. Will we weather out our differences? Hmmm......not likely but ya never know. Then again, I don't believe in that 'soulmate' stuff either. I'm too much a realist for that (and not a fan of soap operas, where it seems to be the norm). I think most relationships are fortunate if the spouses are comfortable with each other and can live together without constantly dreaming of divorce. So there is no one **rule** that says: "if you wanna keep someone, DO THIS!" If there was, I think we'd all be doing it by now!! You can't be someone you're not!! Amen, sister! goodnbad Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by goodnbad Um, well, it so happens I didn't marry because I felt my biological clock ticking, I got married because it was 'expected of me'.....so THERE! Pretty sad, I know, but I never truly wanted to get married (hindsight being 20/20) or have kids (ditto) but the stereotypical expectation is that a woman must two those two things or there is something wrong with her. goodnbad GnB, I Got Married for EXACTLY THE SAME REASONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! could that be evidence of the progress of the feminization of men, or just me? I somehow internalized that a man must have those two things in order to be complete! yes it's pretty sad, but look at that. We have a common foible! Yay for us! Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by MassiveAtom GnB, I Got Married for EXACTLY THE SAME REASONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! could that be evidence of the progress of the feminization of men, or just me? I somehow internalized that a man must have those two things in order to be complete! yes it's pretty sad, but look at that. We have a common foible! Yay for us! hahaha, too funny. I thank the Good Lord (daily) that my mom has continuously instilled in me this FEMINIZATION movement and I'm like, "marriage what?!?!" at this point in time.... maybe one day but not today! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Are the comedies of today any less funny than when Lucy Ricardo sat at home performing her wifely occupations? How many women griped about that show's portrayal of women? I agree that the comedies these days portray men as morons. I hate that. I really hate 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. The bitchy, horrid wife picking on the poor hapless boob - not my idea of funny. I liked Mad About You best - both of them were brilliant at times and goofy at times - just like genuine humans. IMO, the strength of a man's quest for ultimate manliness is in direct correlation to his weakmindedness and feelings of inferiority. STANDING O!!!!!!! (Vation, that is ) I personally find overbearing 'alpha' men to be too full of themselves to be attractive, but to each his own. I think they should all date each other and peacock themselves to the death. I like how you think, lady Link to post Share on other sites
goodnbad Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by MassiveAtom GnB, I Got Married for EXACTLY THE SAME REASONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! could that be evidence of the progress of the feminization of men, or just me? What, that we all still marry because it is expected of us? Men shouldn't feel the pressure to marry any more than a woman, but it's my opinion that women feel it more. A gal just MUST have babies, you know. It's just not right if they don't. A guy is allowed to sow his wild oats and that's okay. It is even okay if he marries reluctantly. God forbid that a woman does the same. All woman would kill to get married, it's their goal in life to tie a man down. And if anyone out there believes that...... MA, before you hop into marriage again, thinking you must do so to be happy, keep in mind that there are lots of people out there that envy your single status, albeit often secretly. I think one of the most annoying terms I've heard lately is: metrosexual. WTF is that? Is it a new sexual preference? A born-again (or what real men would call too feminine) man? From what I understand, it's just a term for what we used to call 'preppy'? To me, it's a term that singles out a group of people and stereotypes them yet again, secluding them from regular society. That just bugs me. Maybe you all can enlighten me on the true definition? moimeme, speaking as someone who has never seen Raymond or even Survivor for that matter, yeah, I think the 'dumb spouse' thing has totally turned around. Dumb Lucy is now Dumb Luke. Neither is very attractive. goodnbad Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by goodnbad I think one of the most annoying terms I've heard lately is: metrosexual. WTF is that? Is it a new sexual preference? A born-again (or what real men would call too feminine) man? From what I understand, it's just a term for what we used to call 'preppy'? To me, it's a term that singles out a group of people and stereotypes them yet again, secluding them from regular society. That just bugs me. Maybe you all can enlighten me on the true definition? goodnbad sooo funny that u say that! I went on a date w/ a guy a while back and I had never before heard the word metrosexual, actually had to look it up (!) After the date, he sent me an email, asking me to go for a latte with him "being a metrosexual and all." LIKE I WANTED TO KNOW THAT!! But then again sent the first and final red flag! Bloody bloke! Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by goodnbad I think one of the most annoying terms I've heard lately is: metrosexual. WTF is that? Well GOODNBAD...my understanding of a "metrosexual" is a dude who wants to appear gay to the outside world but who is really a hetero. Especially now-a-days, when being gay is considered totally cool, ya know? Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Well GOODNBAD...my understanding of a "metrosexual" is a dude who wants to appear gay to the outside world but who is really a hetero. Especially now-a-days, when being gay is considered totally cool, ya know? hahaha, NOT. Alpha, you still haven't answered my questions! Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae Alpha, you still haven't answered my questions! regarding what? can u please restate Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Regarding WHY you said i was full of BS for being a romantic idealist?!?! Explanation please. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Well GOODNBAD...my understanding of a "metrosexual" is a dude who wants to appear gay to the outside world but who is really a hetero. Especially now-a-days, when being gay is considered totally cool, ya know? It is???? I hope not. I'm accused of being Metro nearly everyday.....so do people think I'm gay because I dress nice? There's nothing cool about wanting to appear gay......at least not to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae Regarding WHY you said i was full of BS for being a romantic idealist?!?! Explanation please. see below, luckily it is a very slow day at work today Originally posted by SummerRae Just wanted to add that, I believe, the only way to truly be IN love is to be honest, completely rawly honest about who we are. Total and complete honest can also destroy Love. Has anyone ever walked the planet Earth was was totally and completely 100% honest? I think not! This is a totally idealistic viewpoint. Love exists everyday in normal relationships that are not totally honest. Lets talk about the real world here and not some other utopian planet. Otherwise love cannot exist. For isn't Love Truth?? Why cannot it exist w/o 100% honesty? Actually it can and it does. WTF does it mean the "love is truth"? So perhaps, on reflection, Alphamale's Guide could be used if one wants to "keep" a woman around, but not necessarily if one is hoping to find True Love. My "guide" is based upon respecting one's self first and making yourself a strong person so that your partner can respect you. So you disagree then, SUMMERRAE, that self-respecting people will find true love? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by Moose It is???? I hope not. I'm accused of being Metro nearly everyday.....so do people think I'm gay because I dress nice? There's nothing cool about wanting to appear gay......at least not to me. MOOSE, that is my understanding. I will start a new thread and we can get a concensus. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale see below, luckily it is a very slow day at work today Total and complete honest can also destroy Love. Has anyone ever walked the planet Earth was was totally and completely 100% honest? I think not! This is a totally idealistic viewpoint. Love exists everyday in normal relationships that are not totally honest. Lets talk about the real world here and not some other utopian planet. Why cannot it exist w/o 100% honesty? Actually it can and it does. WTF does it mean the "love is truth"? My "guide" is based upon respecting one's self first and making yourself a strong person so that your partner can respect you. So you disagree then, SUMMERRAE, that self-respecting people will find true love? Oh shut up Alpha! Perhaps I could have worded it differently and said love happens when we are being honest MOST of the time! (notice how I didn’t say “I worded it wrong”). Alpha, OBVIOUSLY we don’t live in a fu(king Utopia World. If we did, there would be NO such thing as “alpha-males” and we all would be all about Love. That is, hopefully, what most of us strive for: to be loving people and to in return, be loved. Respect is a two-way street. And since you obviously didn’t hear me last time, I will repeat: RESPECT DOES NOT CONSIST OF BEING MEAN AND NASTY WHEN SHE MISBEHAVES. If you think it does, then you are really off living in some cave in the back woods of Idaho. JMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
goodnbad Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Total and complete honest can also destroy Love. Has anyone ever walked the planet Earth was was totally and completely 100% honest? I think not! This is a totally idealistic viewpoint. Love exists everyday in normal relationships that are not totally honest. Lets talk about the real world here and not some other utopian planet. I believe this, also. I doubt anyone would stay together if their mate was totally and utterly honest. There is such a thing as tact. Plus respect for another's feelings. OBVIOUSLY we don’t live in a fu(king Utopia World. If we did, there would be NO such thing as “alpha-males hehehehe Can't argue with that! Link to post Share on other sites
SummerRae Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by goodnbad I believe this, also. I doubt anyone would stay together if their mate was totally and utterly honest. There is such a thing as tact. Plus respect for another's feelings. hehehehe Can't argue with that! absolutely, goodnbad, i agree. I kinda, sorta admitted to Alpha that I should have worded it differently (without letting his Dominance think he was/is right.) YAY FOR TACT!! May God grant me some! Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae d be all about Love. That is, hopefully, what most of us strive for: to be loving people and to in return, be loved. Respect is a two-way street. And since you obviously didn’t hear me last time, I will repeat: RESPECT DOES NOT CONSIST OF BEING MEAN AND NASTY WHEN SHE MISBEHAVES. If you think it does, then you are really off living in some cave in the back woods of Idaho. JMHO. I think that point Summer, was about being willing to say no to crappy treatment from a woman. I don't put up with it for a second. If she berates, belittles or otherwise disrepects me. I walk away. Generally with a "check that." If she's mean and nasty, she's done. Hardheaded and inflexible - done. PEOPLE -not only women, are not allowed to be a**h***s to me without consequence. That's self-respect. I think that's where Alpha is going with it. Correct me if I;m wrong Alpha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 That's self-respect. I think that's where Alpha is going with it. Yes, MA, you are correct. Women will only love and respect a man who loves and respects himself. And this may entail that he's somewhat selfish, demanding, domineering and not so nice sometimes. Women may SAY they don't like men who are selfish, demanding, domineering and not-so-nice but the truth of the reality is that women RESPOND romantically and sexually to men with these qualities. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I think that point Summer, was about being willing to say no to crappy treatment from a woman. I don't put up with it for a second. If she berates, belittles or otherwise disrepects me. I walk away. Generally with a "check that." If she's mean and nasty, she's done. Hardheaded and inflexible - done. PEOPLE -not only women, are not allowed to be a**h***s to me without consequence. People who demand respect are far from being really self-confident. If they were, they'd understand that people are not perfect and make mistakes once in a while. And sometimes "mean" people are just trying to hide their own anxities and nervousness (). Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Yes, MA, you are correct. Women will only love and respect a man who loves and respects himself. And this may entail that he's somewhat selfish, demanding, domineering and not so nice sometimes. Women may SAY they don't like men who are selfish, demanding, domineering and not-so-nice but the truth of the reality is that women RESPOND romantically and sexually to men with these qualities. my response is to turn off. i like a guy who is his own man, confident, independent etc, but those characteristics are boorish and guaranteed to make me sprint in the opposite direction. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 i like a guy who is his own man, confident, independent etc, a man who is "confident and independent" also is selfish, domineering and demanding and can be a dick too.... Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 a man who is "confident and independent" also is selfish, domineering and demanding and can be a dick too.... Obviously you are confusing something... Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 Obviously you are confusing something... I don't think so LOONY. Link to post Share on other sites
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