Alphamale's guide to keeping women around

[mental_traveller]

Originally posted by moimeme

People don't generally leave because of something you did, unless you mistreat them. They leave because of their own issues.

 

Good advice. Be yourself, and don't dish out or put up with any crap. Anything else is unnecessary if you are with the right person; and nothing else will help if you are not.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by mental_traveller

This is like having a guide to keeping your rust-ridden 50s yank tank jalopy on the road - why not just get a good car in the first place? Good women don't require much effort IMHO.

 

Mental_traveller,

 

In both the above instances, you clearly hit the nail on the head.

 

I have spent toooo much time trying to be "perfect" instead of just trying to be ME. NOW: I'm COMIN' OUT!

 

[moimeme]

Surely to God you saw through the rubbish and heard the sarcasm in my writing.

 

Well, the fact is a few people actually agreed with him. I lost track and thought you might actually have been serious

[jellybean]

Hiya alpha ...and everyone else too!

 

It's been awhile, but I had a few minutes to spare, so I did a drive-by, spotted your thread, and felt like adding my 2 cents.

 

Insulting Canadians, eh? tsk..tsk ...please try not to do that again, okay?

 

Anyways - about your list.....all I can say is : us mature gals can see right through that kind of male behaviour, and it certainly would'nt keep THIS woman around.

 

I share this exact sentiment :

Originally posted by moimeme

Real women would have nothing to do with that bullshyt.

 

Off topic - Lots of wonderful things are still happening to me everyday (and I don't need to play games, or follow a guide )...I had requested the Mods to consider creating a new forum, for us former regular posters who have moved on, but would like to just say "hi" once in awhile, and maybe give an update on whassup...oh well, that is neither here nor there.

 

luv, jellybean

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by mental_traveller

This is like having a guide to keeping your rust-ridden 50s yank tank jalopy on the road - why not just get a good car in the first place? Good women don't require much effort IMHO.

 

 

 

Thank you, Moimême and Moose. I'm still working this one out.

[goodnbad]

Wow, alpha......the first thing that came to mind when I read your list was: this guy must have had some really bad past relationships to be so bitter. Do you really believe that truly mentally-secure women will find those traits attractive? I ask that seriously, no sarcasm intended.

 

I have to agree with Moimeme. That kind of attitude is very dated. Sure, lots of guys (and gals) still subscribe to the caveman/woman mentality, but fortunately, people are becoming a little less insecure with themselves and feel less need to meld themselves into a being that they THINK the world expects them to be. Not everyone wants the stereotypical superstar 'man' from the soap operas. Ho hum.

 

Anyhow, I doubt that your self-defensive resorting to name-calling is going to ingratiate you with many of the modern women here. Ooops, but then again, I guess that with that sort of list, it's not exactly a modern woman you're looking for?

 

 

goodnbad

[MassiveAtom]

Modern women!!

 

I didn't even have to scroll back into the thread to figure out what happenned!

 

Nice job putting it all together. though Alpha.

You could've titled this thread , how to be a Strong MAN. too. of course then all the simpering wimpus americanii would slither up and cry all over you.

 

GNB, don't succumb the feminization efforts of the United Sisterhood of Women, Local 483.

 

Man UP!

 

MA

[goodnbad]

Just curious, MA, what exactly are you referring to in regards to your comment 'feminization efforts'? Some pertinent real-life examples, if you please?

 

Not wanting to sound like your average patronizing woman, sincerely curious here, if you are not too intimidated to answer intelligently (ie, no silly or childish name-calling).

 

But be warned, I must be PMSing, I feel a rant coming on. And just for the record: for you self-proclaimed 'real men' out there, the pms thing is NOT a stereotype, it's for real!

 

goodnbad

[goodnbad]

GOODNBAD'S GUIDE TO KEEPING REAL MEN AROUND

 

Laugh at his jokes, even if they are personally degrading to you

 

Kiss his *ss even if he treats you like shyt

 

Call him master

 

Drop everything you're doing for his wants and needs come before your own selfish ones

 

Pretend he's the greatest lover you've ever had, even if he sucks hig-time. Never hint that he needs to improve his skills. How selfish that would be!

 

Tell him you will die without him to control every aspect of your life. Always ask him for advice and permission on everything.

 

If you break anything electrical or remotely mechanical, never fix it on your own. To do so is to emasculate your man

 

Allow him to be the leader at all times and beg for mercy if he gets the mistaken belief that you want to be the leader sometimes, or *gasp* want to share the responsibility

 

He is always number one, you can be number two if it doesn't interfere with his needs (example: if he has a mistress, you are number 3)

 

Never display any emotions that might make your man upset

 

Never buy him anything pink

 

Never interfere with his friendships----ooops, better rewrite the 8th rule---always expect to come in at least number 3....below his friends

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, enough already, I'm going out to get me some heavy-duty Midol!

 

 

__________________

[MassiveAtom]

I apologize GNB, I completely assumed you were a guy.

 

Obviously that was way off.

 

But here's an example.

 

PARENTHOOD:

 

The last 20 years have been dedicated to creating the image of the heroic single Mom and the butt munch dead beat dad, more over, In two parent households the mother is wise intellect and dad is a moron. How often is that really the case? Rarely.

 

The role of Father has been continually reduced by Mothers and reinvented as Mom #2. Fact is Men and women are different for some very good reasons. For even better reasons, the parenting roles are different as well.

 

Fact is, the media has glommed onto this nonsensical notion that men are inept at parenting. How many television shows portray Dad as a complete idiot? let's See.....

 

Everybody loves raymond

The Family Guy

hmmmm

 

The Simpsons

According to Jim

even those that no one watches have the dad portrayed as a moron

Everwood, our intrepid Doctor/single Dad HAS to have strong women in his life in order to be competent.

 

images of men with baby soft skin, who use quadruple-bladed razors, make-up and so forth. Who lack the spine to stand up against injustice. It's just really off0putting to watch.

 

And then it shows up in the backlash against all this

 

A woman marries a man who bends and flexes and provides and parents, and then she leaves because he did just that. It's weird what happens but it does.

 

There's more, but I have to get to something else.

 

just some thoughts.

 

MA

[MassiveAtom]

Originally posted by goodnbad

GOODNBAD'S GUIDE TO KEEPING REAL MEN AROUND

Laugh at his jokes, even if they are personally degrading to you

Kiss his *ss even if he treats you like shyt

Call him master

Drop everything you're doing for his wants and needs come before your own selfish ones

Pretend he's the greatest lover you've ever had, even if he sucks hig-time. Never hint that he needs to improve his skills. How selfish that would be!

Tell him you will die without him to control every aspect of your life. Always ask him for advice and permission on everything.

If you break anything electrical or remotely mechanical, never fix it on your own. To do so is to emasculate your man

Allow him to be the leader at all times and beg for mercy if he gets the mistaken belief that you want to be the leader sometimes, or *gasp* want to share the responsibility

He is always number one, you can be number two if it doesn't interfere with his needs (example: if he has a mistress, you are number 3)

Never display any emotions that might make your man upset

Never buy him anything pink

Never interfere with his friendships----ooops, better rewrite the 8th rule---always expect to come in at least number 3....below his friends

 

Not real men, If a guy wants you to be that way, you'd be a fool to stay.

 

How about this:

THE MASSIVELY ATOMIC GUIDE TO THE GENTLEMAN

 

1. Laugh at his jokes, when they're funny - a gentleman doesn't tell jokes that degrade women

2. Never Kiss his ass, unless you're into that. But try to support his efforts with love and affection - a gentleman will not treat you like sh |t

3. Again, If you're into calling him "Master" that's cool. But use his real name often and kindly.

4. Always put yourself first, self-reliance and independence are VERY attractive traits. - a gentleman would never ask you to place your needs beneath his, and the inverse is equally true.

5. If his lovemaking skills need improvement, lovingly tell him so. - a gentleman would never take offense at learning how to please his partner

6. Please fix what you break, or have it fixed by a competent pro. If you are capabale of rescuing yourelf, please do so. A genlteman will fix it if he can, but will outsource the job if need be. If you need to be rescued, a gentleman may or may not heed that call..

7.See #4

8. A gentleman is well aware that emotions are powerful and can make one vulnerable - he'll support you in that for sure. - He knows that showing a woman those traits however is NOT a good choice.

9. Pink is a good color. Some guys like it, some don't.

10. Expect nothing.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by MassiveAtom

Not real men, If a guy wants you to be that way, you'd be a fool to stay.

 

How about this:

THE MASSIVELY ATOMIC GUIDE TO THE GENTLEMAN

 

1. Laugh at his jokes, when they're funny - a gentleman doesn't tell jokes that degrade women

2. Never Kiss his ass, unless you're into that. But try to support his efforts with love and affection - a gentleman will not treat you like sh |t

3. Again, If you're into calling him "Master" that's cool. But use his real name often and kindly.

4. Always put yourself first, self-reliance and independence are VERY attractive traits. - a gentleman would never ask you to place your needs beneath his, and the inverse is equally true.

5. If his lovemaking skills need improvement, lovingly tell him so. - a gentleman would never take offense at learning how to please his partner

6. Please fix what you break, or have it fixed by a competent pro. If you are capabale of rescuing yourelf, please do so. A genlteman will fix it if he can, but will outsource the job if need be. If you need to be rescued, a gentleman may or may not heed that call..

7.See #4

8. A gentleman is well aware that emotions are powerful and can make one vulnerable - he'll support you in that for sure. - He knows that showing a woman those traits however is NOT a good choice.

9. Pink is a good color. Some guys like it, some don't.

10. Expect nothing.

 

Massive Atom--------------YOU ROCK!! I absolutely love this guide cause it reminds me of the guy I'm seeing. I totally see him as a gentleman and these are just the kinds of qualities he displays.

 

I found #8 especially enlightening. He is def. sensitive but it's not something he's going to readily show. LOVE THAT! Also, very thought-provoking as it relates to women. We can be more vulnerable because we display these emotions, and yet isn't that also what makes us feminine and nuturing and caring?? That is the beauty, I believe, in the differences between men & women.

 

Thanx MA for your comments.

[moimeme]

Okay, enough already, I'm going out to get me some heavy-duty Midol!

 

I was going to suggest a very strong anti-nauseant but then MA posted his guide - a surefire antidote to the beginning of this thread if ever there was one

 

He knows that showing a woman those traits however is NOT a good choice.

 

A man brave enough to allow his vulnerability to show is nothing to scoff at.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by moimeme

I was going to suggest a very strong anti-nauseant but then MA posted his guide - a surefire antidote to the beginning of this thread if ever there was one

 

 

 

A man brave enough to allow his vulnerability to show is nothing to scoff at.

 

Good points Moimeme! I guess I was looking at it from the point of view of THE BEGINNING of a relationship. I think that over time, once trust and a relationship has been established, these vulnerabilities are slowly revealed and dismanteled. I think the key comes from this "brave man's" confidence and strong sense of himself.

[whichwayisup]

Get the popcorn out kids! MA is showing up ALPHAMALE...Hmmmmmmm...

[No Foolin]

*Bump*

[Jilly10340]

Hmmmm......I think this stuff works at first but eventually the girl gets tired of it. A lot of those on the top ten list are reasons why I've dumped all my past boyfriends eventually.

[goodnbad]

MA, I have to say, those are some pretty darned good rules to live by, I might even forgive you for the previous digs on the feminine sect.

 

 

The last 20 years have been dedicated to creating the image of the heroic single Mom and the butt munch dead beat dad, more over, In two parent households the mother is wise intellect and dad is a moron. How often is that really the case? Rarely.

 

Fact is, the media has glommed onto this nonsensical notion that men are inept at parenting. How many television shows portray Dad as a complete idiot?

 

 

I'm not much of a tv watcher, so I'll take your word for that, but it is my meagre experience from tv shows that the ones you are referring to are usually comedies? In more serious shows, I believe that men are often more likely to be portrayed as a loving and intelligent (and usually highly paid professional) man? Are the comedies of today any less funny than when Lucy Ricardo sat at home performing her wifely occupations? How many women griped about that show's portrayal of women?

 

Maybe the joke isn't so funny when the shoe's on the other foot? Men really aren't that intimidated by a strong woman that refuses to come in second but rather wears the pants sometimes, are they?

 

 

images of men with baby soft skin, who use quadruple-bladed razors, make-up and so forth. Who lack the spine to stand up against injustice. It's just really offputting to watch.

 

OMG! Can you imagine? Men liking comfort, as opposed to putting on the tough guy stance! Although, I admit I would be less than thrilled if I caught the hubby wearing make-up ......but does this mean that my man is a simpering weenie if he wears cologne, colours his hair, or cooks (BBQ excepted, of course, 'cause THAT would be MANLY)?

 

I hate to think that tv influences people to believe that those lame portrayals are a reflection of the real world, but I guess sometimes that is the case. God forbid that the younger set, glued to their tv's for info, are taking it all in as world truth.

 

 

A woman marries a man who bends and flexes and provides and parents, and then she leaves because he did just that. It's weird what happens but it does.

 

No, usually she leaves 'cause she gets sick of putting up with all his immature he-man bullshyt. Kidding.

 

Honestly, you know that a breakup is always more than that, a gal doesn't dump a guy 'cause he's treating her too good. THAT is what the hurt guy's excuse is to his buddies when he doesn't want to examine the relationship too closely to get to the real reason. Sometimes it's the guy's fault, sometimes the gal's, that's just how it goes. Think of how many people you know that have split up; how many admit to being at fault, or is it almost always the SO's fault? Oh yes, indeedy, the ungrateful SO's!

 

I am still just trying to understand why men are so intimidated by the idea that they might end up feminized. Why do they need to feel so masculine? Is this just insecurity or what?

 

I happen to be a strong woman (for the most part; sometimes I can also be a weak silly noodlebrain, but whatever) and if I am not what society portrays as the ultimate in femininity, WHO CARES? I am who I am, you don't like it, FO. Why can't men be like that? You could be the most simpering, feminine man out there.....and guaranteed, there will be women in RL somewhere that will love you. IMO, the strength of a man's quest for ultimate manliness is in direct correlation to his weakmindedness and feelings of inferiority.

 

goodnbad

[alphamale]

Originally posted by goodnbad

I am still just trying to understand why men are so intimidated by the idea that they might end up feminized. Why do they need to feel so masculine? Is this just insecurity or what?

for the same reason why women want to marry and have kids. it is biological. women always say what you are saying because of their idealistic points of view. But....when it comes down to choosing a man, they usually go for the more masculine dude vs. the more sensitive "nice guy". why is that?

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by goodnbad

MA, I have to say, those are some pretty darned good rules to live by, I might even forgive you for the previous digs on the feminine sect.

 

 

 

I'm not much of a tv watcher, so I'll take your word for that, but it is my meagre experience from tv shows that the ones you are referring to are usually comedies? In more serious shows, I believe that men are often more likely to be portrayed as a loving and intelligent (and usually highly paid professional) man? Are the comedies of today any less funny than when Lucy Ricardo sat at home performing her wifely occupations? How many women griped about that show's portrayal of women?

 

Maybe the joke isn't so funny when the shoe's on the other foot? Men really aren't that intimidated by a strong woman that refuses to come in second but rather wears the pants sometimes, are they?

 

 

 

OMG! Can you imagine? Men liking comfort, as opposed to putting on the tough guy stance! Although, I admit I would be less than thrilled if I caught the hubby wearing make-up ......but does this mean that my man is a simpering weenie if he wears cologne, colours his hair, or cooks (BBQ excepted, of course, 'cause THAT would be MANLY)?

 

I hate to think that tv influences people to believe that those lame portrayals are a reflection of the real world, but I guess sometimes that is the case. God forbid that the younger set, glued to their tv's for info, are taking it all in as world truth.

 

 

 

No, usually she leaves 'cause she gets sick of putting up with all his immature he-man bullshyt. Kidding.

 

Honestly, you know that a breakup is always more than that, a gal doesn't dump a guy 'cause he's treating her too good. THAT is what the hurt guy's excuse is to his buddies when he doesn't want to examine the relationship too closely to get to the real reason. Sometimes it's the guy's fault, sometimes the gal's, that's just how it goes. Think of how many people you know that have split up; how many admit to being at fault, or is it almost always the SO's fault? Oh yes, indeedy, the ungrateful SO's!

 

I am still just trying to understand why men are so intimidated by the idea that they might end up feminized. Why do they need to feel so masculine? Is this just insecurity or what?

 

I happen to be a strong woman (for the most part; sometimes I can also be a weak silly noodlebrain, but whatever) and if I am not what society portrays as the ultimate in femininity, WHO CARES? I am who I am, you don't like it, FO. Why can't men be like that? You could be the most simpering, feminine man out there.....and guaranteed, there will be women in RL somewhere that will love you. IMO, the strength of a man's quest for ultimate manliness is in direct correlation to his weakmindedness and feelings of inferiority.

 

goodnbad

 

I LOVE IT!! Too funny. I totally agree.

 

There is definitely beauty in a man being vulnerable. I think it's more a question of COMPATIBILITY and chemistry than a woman being put off by a man's weakness.

 

It all depends how much the woman likes the man and vice versa. I have met strong-minded manly men who are sexy as hell (perhaps because the airs of bravado can be seen through?) and they are comfortable in their own skin. But i have also met sweet, sensitive guys who are able to be vulnerable at just the right time & place. So there is no one **rule** that says: "if you wanna keep someone, DO THIS!" If there was, I think we'd all be doing it by now!! You can't be someone you're not!!

 

And we can't always help who we are attracted to. It just happens. There is an undeniable chemistry that happens when two people are genuinely attracted to each other. Trust me, I'm just in the beginning stages and I'm thinking,

"GOD, this was NOT how it was with all the other blokes I have dated! This is how a woman SHOULD be treated." At first, I was like, this is so weird. When really, this is soooo HOW IT SHOULD BE!

 

PS I have been able to open up so much and he just keeps asking questions and pursuing things, without giving up who he is or his many many things to do. There is so much space and independence. It's pure sweet, I tell ya! I'M GLOWING!! (but am still keeping in mind: this is only the beginning, things could change, one never knows)

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SummerRae

There is definitely beauty in a man being vulnerable.

 

So there is no one **rule** that says: "if you wanna keep someone, DO THIS!"

Look SUMMERRAE...that is what I said in my original post. In the first rule I said a man should be sensitive, masculine, generous, etc etc etc..... vulnerablility falls under sensitivity, maybe i did not mention it specifically but the point behind the first rule was that a real man is one who encompasses many facets and qualities in one person.

 

why don't you people understand that?? WTF

[SummerRae]

Just wanted to add that, I believe, the only way to truly be IN love is to be honest, completely rawly honest about who we are. Otherwise love cannot exist. For isn't Love Truth??

 

So perhaps, on reflection, Alphamale's Guide could be used if one wants to "keep" a woman around, but not necessarily if one is hoping to find True Love.

 

What do you think???

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SummerRae

What do you think???

i think u are full of BS

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by alphamale

Look SUMMERRAE...that is what I said in my original post. In the first rule I said a man should be sensitive, masculine, generous, etc etc etc..... vulnerablility falls under sensitivity, maybe i did not mention it specifically but the point behind the first rule was that a real man is one who encompasses many facets and qualities in one person.

 

why don't you people understand that?? WTF

 

OMG Alphamale: CHILL! I know what you MEANT, but I still think there were points of it, you could have been more "sensitive" with. Like for instance: "be the leader at all times", ummm, hello?! Why?? And "treat her mean and nasty"----------not exactly the "do unto others as they would do to you" mentality. But each to his own. You are single right??

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by alphamale

i think u are full of BS

 

 

OH YA, ALPHAMALE??? WELL, I WON'T EVEN SAY WHAT I THINK OF YOU! And your fu(king list!

 

Just joking!

 

What part is BS, Alphamale??? I'm just curious as to your thinking?? I mean I know I'm a romantic and all but you appear to be a tried and TRUE cynic.

 

Have you ever been IN love before??