T-shirt and jeans women

[jen1447]

I still find it funny though that women continue to focus on the texts instead of the original topic. The whole point of this thread was to see if women still enjoy strutting their stuff vs dressing down. The texts were only used to site an example of a woman that likes to dress casual.

The texts continue to be a topic because you keep endlessly and vehemently defending them. You can't really spend 50 posts and 500 paragraphs talking about something and expect everyone else to ignore it.

 

You've had many many women and even a lot of guys here tell you you were coming off creeper/misogynistic/forward/everything else and that your text game was weak, and yet you've accepted bscly none of it. People who keep repeating their statements and defending their positions over and over like you have and who get frustrated and defensive bc no one seems to understand them are generally wrong about whatever assumptions they're fighting so hard for. That's why no one understands or buys their points. And that's why your endless explanations and re-phrasings never stick.

 

Set your ego on the shelf for a day and just acknowledge you're wrong. Jeez, what's the big deal? You're acting like your entire identity is wrapped up in 'winning' this silly little battle about 4 lines of weak text.

[darkmoon]

if a guy i did not know well told me to look sexy, i would not lead him on too soon and would dress down also

 

women can not win

 

too sexy is bad not sexy enough is bad, depends on who is deciding which adds confusuion to the criricism

[katiegrl]

Then why didn't she laugh? or any of us laugh?

 

Or why didn't he out put an lol or haha at the end of the comment...is that not what people do when wanting to convey something they write is a joke?

 

No it wasn't a joke....hardly! And the OP is being intellectualy dishonest claiming it is.

 

Pfft.

[regine_phalange]

Well, since it's kind of on-topic, I've gone on a date with jeans and a sweater when I was 19. The guy was also wearing a jeans and a sweater, but said "do you always dress like that?". In a negative way. Who did he think he is?

 

And I think I've mentioned it here before, when I was 24 I was going through a slightly goth phase and was dating someone who did a glamorous job and usually dressed in suits. I recall one time we went on a date and he was a mobile hugo boss ad, while I appeared with a short pencil skirt and no-heel laced boots. He was drooling all over me that night. And I still think that this was his sexiest trait, because his thinking about what's attractive was pure and not influenced by trendy media or peers, or even an expectation. He was turned on by weird things like this. So interesting.

[Els]

OP... if you don't even know where the date is going to be, how can either of you even plan an outfit to begin with? So completely weird.

 

So many women have said it would "put them off." Listen, this would only put off someone who didn't have anything else in their closet than jeans and t-shirts. Anyone who liked to dress would be thinking, "Oh, boy, a guy who likes to dress up and go to nice places and notices what I wear."

 

Really. So a man you've never met who asked about what you were planning to wear for your first date together and told you, "I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with" is right up your alley?

 

I can't think of anyone I know who'd be down with that, not even women who actually wear dresses and heels on a daily basis. It's just plain creepy. But if you're okay with that, then you two certainly sound like a match made in heaven!

Edited May 7, 2015 by Elswyth

[clia]

A woman whose uniform is t shirt and jeans can't even get a decent job! So for her to cleave to that tells you she's got no higher goal than to "be comfortable." Limiting dress to that will keep her from going a whole lot of places. It will eventually keep her from being introduced to someone's parents. You have to look like you at least have a plan in life. A woman wearing t shirt and jeans is just having arrested development and refusing to grow up, plus has no sense of inspiration. Clothes do reflect who you are. I think she was pulling his leg a little, but she would like to just do nothing and put little effort into life.

 

It's amazing how you are able to delve right into this woman's psyche based on one text message. Yes, I'm sure she is a complete loser with no goals who refuses to ever wear anything other than jeans and t-shirts, even to work.

[Toodaloo]

I suspect a `Speedos man`..........

 

I am not a girl but a cracking pair of jeans and cons or some other low top trainers always work for me.

 

But Toodaloo has made me rethink wellies!

 

Shucks honey...

 

I really am going to have to get you covered in mud one day aren't I!!!!

[Els]

Also - IMO, dressing up and going to nice places is great fun, but 1) we don't even know if they're going to a nice place, OP has no idea where to go, and 2) it usually doesn't start like this. If you want you and your date to get all dressed up, just arrange for a nice restaurant or a classy bar and let her know you'll be taking her there... and it'll probably just happen. Pointing it out like that ahead of time, especially with someone you've never met, is an entirely different story and completely crass.

Edited May 7, 2015 by Elswyth

[Gaeta]

So many women have said it would "put them off." Listen, this would only put off someone who didn't have anything else in their closet than jeans and t-shirts. Anyone who liked to dress would be thinking, "Oh, boy, a guy who likes to dress up and go to nice places and notices what I wear."

 

I'm a girly girl, my closet is full of summer dresses, skirts, nice heels, little lacy tops, name it. I like to feel sexy and I enjoy men's attention AND I am one of the ladies that would be put off by his comment. Actually I already had a comment like that said to me and I replied to the guy: Why are you suggesting I dress sexy? Let me be the judge what is sexy enough for a first meeting ok!

 

These sexual innuendos are for after a first meeting when you have established there is mutual attraction.

[Rejected Rosebud]

So many women have said it would "put them off." Listen, this would only put off someone who didn't have anything else in their closet than jeans and t-shirts.

That is so not true!!! I think you and maybe one other girl here has been fine with it, the rest of us which are ALOT don't like the idea of a guy we haven't met going there!!! It's not just the sexual innuendo it is also just the presumption that a girl is "planning her outfit" to meet a him a total stranger!! I mean she sure might be but it is weird to say that, it's sexist, no guy is going to get that question!! I bet most of us who are "put off" by this have ALOT more stuff in our closet than jeans and tee shirts but even if we don't what if we happen to be active types who can't do what we like wearing a strappy dress and high heels though to be fair to ff obviously he would not be interested in an active girl who liked to do stuff outdoors. I didn't online date but I would personally be pretty careful to NOT come off very sexy on meeting a guy for the first time who was a total stranger and unknown to anybody in my life!!!

[preraph]

OP... if you don't even know where the date is going to be, how can either of you even plan an outfit to begin with? So completely weird.

 

 

 

Really. So a man you've never met who asked about what you were planning to wear for your first date together and told you, "I look forward to the sexy choice you come up with" is right up your alley?

 

I can't think of anyone I know who'd be down with that, not even women who actually wear dresses and heels on a daily basis. It's just plain creepy. But if you're okay with that, then you two certainly sound like a match made in heaven!

 

Before I'd agree to go out with anyone, I'd have gotten to know them well enough to know if they were creepy or flirty. If I hadn't already eliminated the possibility that the guy was creepy, I would never have agreed to go out. I wouldn't make a date with a stranger I didn't have a clue about and then gripe that they weren't like I hoped they were when it was my fault for not getting to know them well enough.

 

And repeating myself, being sure you're both on the same page as far as dress when going out is Etiquette 101 so you don't end up wearing wearing flip-flops across from him in a suite at a nice French restaurant.

 

Once I have talked to a guy for awhile, I fully expect them to be flirty. And all this kickback about being insulted the guy wants you to look sexy -- so I'm assuming your Facebook photos are all of you when you first wake up in the morning?

[katiegrl]

The OP talks about being ironic.

 

What's *really* ironic is now that some of have responded to his original question, he's no where to be seen!!!

 

Now "that's" ironic......

[preraph]

I'm a girly girl, my closet is full of summer dresses, skirts, nice heels, little lacy tops, name it. I like to feel sexy and I enjoy men's attention AND I am one of the ladies that would be put off by his comment. Actually I already had a comment like that said to me and I replied to the guy: Why are you suggesting I dress sexy? Let me be the judge what is sexy enough for a first meeting ok!

 

These sexual innuendos are for after a first meeting when you have established there is mutual attraction.

 

In other words, they're for after you know someone a little. Well, that's why I wouldn't make a date with a guy I didn't feel I already knew well enough to go out and feel safe with.

[Toodaloo]

We have been rumbling on for 15 pages about a pair of jeans and a T shirt.

 

OP is probably working or something. I am sure he will be back.

 

This really is thread of the day! Its beaten all others so far in terms of views and number of posts to it!

 

FF you have caused a skirmish in the ranks!

 

I am tempted to start a thread about tea spoons and dish clothes... Something tells me it will be near on impossible to get any innuendo out of those!

[Els]

Before I'd agree to go out with anyone, I'd have gotten to know them well enough to know if they were creepy or flirty. If I hadn't already eliminated the possibility that the guy was creepy, I would never have agreed to go out. I wouldn't make a date with a stranger I didn't have a clue about and then gripe that they weren't like I hoped they were when it was my fault for not getting to know them well enough.

 

You seem to have missed the memo - the OP and this woman, who are the people we are talking about, have never met.

 

And repeating myself, being sure you're both on the same page as far as dress when going out is Etiquette 101 so you don't end up wearing wearing flip-flops across from him in a suite at a nice French restaurant.

 

I would sincerely hope that anyone of either gender does not need their date to check their dress plans ahead of time to ensure that they don't wear flip-flops to a nice restaurant. Most people know what to wear when they know where they are going. Repeating myself, the OP does not even know where he is going, so neither does his date.

 

Once I have talked to a guy for awhile, I fully expect them to be flirty. And all this kickback about being insulted the guy wants you to look sexy -- so I'm assuming your Facebook photos are all of you when you first wake up in the morning?

 

There are HUGE differences between enjoying something, and expecting it, AND saying that you expect it.

 

That being said, no, I tend not to put 'sexy' pictures of myself up on Facebook either.

[lana-banana]

No actually my reaction would be the same good or bad. I've always said on here that no one person can speak for everyone. That's exactly why I always stress that something is "my opinion" in all my posts. But as I've said over and over, I'm only speaking on behalf of women that I personally date. Since they like it, that's why they're going out with me. So how I act wasn't 'wrong" to them. That's been my point this whole time. If it's "wrong", "creepy" "degrading" or whatever other term comes up to the women on here, so be it. I can't help that. But all that matters to me is that women I like to date enjoy my personality.

 

Also, I've been one of the few advocates on here for delaying sex on a longer term basis to get to know a woman before sleeping with her. So I highly doubt that I'd request lingerie on date one. However, even though your deadlifting skills are hot Lana, we've never seen eye to eye from day one. You're the same woman who refuses to mention she has a boyfriend if a guy hits on her. I still don't understand that logic.

 

When a woman hits on me and I have a girlfriend, I let the woman know I have a girlfriend out of respect for her. To deny the existence of your boyfriend with a simple "I'm not interested" makes it sound like you would be if the right guy hit on you. The reason you're not interested is because you have a boyfriend you love. I don't see why you'd want to hide that.

 

Wow, misremember much? All I said was that I wouldn't necessarily immediately mention my boyfriend when rejecting another guy. The context was a woman who didn't bring up her boyfriend immediately and the insinuation that she must not be really serious about him. If I recall correctly there were multiple female posters who felt the same as I.

 

It is beyond insulting to suggest that I don't love my boyfriend very much, especially when it has no relevance to this thread, and suggests you are lashing out wildly with a wounded ego rather than address the many, many sensible points people have made here. Until you're willing to seriously consider that online dating---and even online discussions!---are not all about you, all the time, I'm out.

[Gaeta]

In other words, they're for after you know someone a little. Well, that's why I wouldn't make a date with a guy I didn't feel I already knew well enough to go out and feel safe with.

 

Keep in mind this is online dating, we are meeting strangers it's how it works, that's why if you are serious to find a long term partner these sexual innuendos before a 1st meeting aren't welcome.

 

Women get sex crap messages all the time online. Then you find a man that seems to have potential and you give him your number to set up a date THEN he pulls a freakin sex joke on you!! Total is so disappointing.

 

So what happened FF was trying to stand out of the crowd with his style of flirting but he just proved to this woman he's just like any other man online, he's all about sex.

[RoseVille]

She had a few pics up. One in a bridesmaid dress and the other in a more casual outfit. I don't mind casual sometimes. But I also like women who enjoy feeling desired and being confident. So in her own words she's a "big t-shirt and jeans woman". This tells me she usually likes to dress down.

 

Who's to say she's not confident or doesn't feel desirable in whatever she chooses to wear? You're not the arbiter of how she feels about herself.

[katiegrl]

Who's to say she's not confident or doesn't feel desirable in whatever she chooses to wear? ***You're not the arbiter of how she feels about herself.**

 

Well said!

 

And this isn't the first thread the OP has displayed such arrogance on either...

 

I had him pegged a long time ago.....

[Phoe]

My gawd, $150?! I must be low maintenance because...

 

Agreed, that is waaaaay too much money. Cut that in half, and then cut that in half again and you're closer to where you should be.

[Phoe]

I honestly believe that if more people tried to build some sort of initial comfort and tension before meeting, so many meets wouldn't feel like awkward interviews.

 

Well, I suppose the way I see it is that you're not building initial comfort, you're doing the exact opposite.

 

Had you texted me that way, right off the bat, I'd be uncomfortable.

 

Had we already been a bit acquainted, been talking for a longer time, then a text like that would be happily received and I would've responded with something equally as flirty.

 

I suppose I just feel you're jumping the gun a little bit is all.

[preraph]

You seem to have missed the memo - the OP and this woman, who are the people we are talking about, have never met.

 

 

I'm fully aware they've never met! That's why they're talking back and forth. What you said is a complete non sequitur. So you're saying you just go out with guys you've never gotten to know first by talking to them and asking question??? No wonder you're in a panic.

[preraph]

I would sincerely hope that anyone of either gender does not need their date to check their dress plans ahead of time to ensure that they don't wear flip-flops to a nice restaurant.

 

Well, your hope would be unfounded. Because just a while back on this very thread a nice young lady said she prefers sandals and flip-flops for evening.

 

And the OP is taking his date to a nice restaurant and she has informed him she's a t-shirts and jeans girl. So you can't assume anything. My guess is he will not take her where he originally planned unless she is just yanking his chain and shows up dressed appropriately for a nice first dinner date.

[barcode88]

Well, your hope would be unfounded. Because just a while back on this very thread a nice young lady said she prefers sandals and flip-flops for evening.

 

And the OP is taking his date to a nice restaurant and she has informed him she's a t-shirts and jeans girl. So you can't assume anything. My guess is he will not take her where he originally planned unless she is just yanking his chain and shows up dressed appropriately for a nice first dinner date.

 

I am pretty sure he isn't sure where they're going yet though according to the original post.

[Toodaloo]

So what happened FF was trying to stand out of the crowd with his style of flirting but he just proved to this woman he's just like any other man online, he's all about sex.

 

Well at least one man on the universe is...

 

Sorry Gaeta - its getting desperate over here in the UK... When are we going to Oz??