Women who fault men for flirting with younger women

[BlueIris]

All I can tell you is when I was 28, my friends were acquaintances with a couple who were about 35. Only 7 years' age difference. I looked upon them as like my grandparents. They seemed so old to me, like they were done, like they needed to be dusted off. I respected them and they were trying to help some band friends of mine, but there is just a huge gulf in mindset between 20-somethings and 30-somethings even.

 

Once all parties get past, say, 35, then there isn't as big of a maturity gulf going up from there.

 

True. Though once you start getting into the older ages (i.e. mine- lol!) then you start getting the “old age, can’t keep up, might end up a nurse” issues too.

 

One of my friends who married a guy 30 years her senior- when she was 30 and he was 60- divorced him in his 80’s because he had dementia and was becoming increasingly violent toward her. He had also opposed her working during the marriage because he was retired when they married, so she didn’t work and they had a prenup that kept his premarital assets for him. Therefore, at 54, she was divorcing a violent man with dementia and she had very little money and has worked full time at $12 per hour since.

 

Moral of the story, I guess, is: regardless of who you marry, you have to think through how it could play out 10, 20, 30+ years down the road.

 

Which also makes me think of how many people- men and women- are quick to call a young woman a gold digger when she dates or marries an older man. That’s what my friend was called. It’s another one of those catch-22’s. You often see men who date much younger women promoting their income and assets as something attractive about them, and yet if the woman considers that, some people call her a gold digger.

 

Anyway, people say judgey things. Have to live to your own standards and what’s best for you.

[RedRobin]

I don't think dating someone young enough to be your child (or old enough to be your parent) is anything like homophobia or interracial relationships.

 

 

Gays and lesbians are born that way. Race has nothing to do with anything.

 

 

People who date/marry their relative children have issues, though. Just because it isn't illegal doesn't mean it has any basis in biology or is 'normal'. Only people with issues claim it is so that they can be accepted for their so-called lifestyle.

 

 

I do fault men for flirting with younger women because I think it is gross. Always have. They are supposed to be mentors and adults. Not brainless, knuckle dragging Neanderthals that stick their dick into anything that has a pulse. But ok, if that's how some of you guys prefer to appear, go ahead. I'm sure there are some unbalanced or naive young woman out there willing to give you a toss. *shrug*

[LookAtThisPOst]

Blackops...and most women that are into gaming, sci-fi, and cosplay that I run into at conventions, the majority of them are in their 20's LOL

 

The older I get, the less likely I am to meet a woman with such niche' interests. lol

 

I wouldn't 'ridicule' anyone who has a significant age-gap relationship with someone else. It's NO ONE'S business.

 

Most of my relationships that I've had in my life have been with younger guys. Most of the guys that I've dated have been younger than me. Idk, there probably are guys my age who are with it, who keep up on current trends, who are ACTIVE, who look GOOD for their age, who are FIT, who have um, a lot of ENERGY and who are into the things that I'm into (gaming, d&b and paintball being some of those things). But, in my experience...and with the guys that are in my area...and who are around my age....they are um, BORING, uninteresting, inactive, and...did I say BORING?! They act like they're senior citizens or they're just into things that I'm so NOT into.

 

So, because of what society in general thinks and because of what a lot of people might "think" (*gasp!*) about me dating a guy that's younger than me (or wayy younger than me), I'm supposed to adjust HOW I date, WHO I date or WHO I end up in a relationship with - because I'm supposed to 'care' about what a bunch of STRANGERS think?? No way!

 

I understand where Loveweary is coming from, in addition to some of the other posters on this thread. Even if I think it's weirdish that a 40 something guy is interested in dating a 20 something woman, it's NONE of my damn business - just like it's NONE of anyone ELSE'S business if I like dating guys who are younger than me. I just have way more in common with guys who are younger than with guys who are my age. Also, a LOT of guys my age look...weathered and...OLD. They either don't take care of themselves or, they do, and it's just in their genetics. Either way, I'm just NOT attracted to guys who LOOK old - physically. Sorry. Even though I'm older, I do take care of myself and because of my genetics (which I can thank my Mom for!) I don't look as old as the guys who are my age. I'm not going to feel bad (or ashamed) for being attracted to younger guys emotionally and physically. It is what it is.

 

So, to the OP...just know that it works BOTH ways, bro. There are guys who 'fault women' for 'flirting with/dating/being in relationships with/being intimate with' younger guys as well as the reverse. I mean really, WHO CARES?!?!? To each his/her OWN.

 

 

 

.

[mongo]

I am a 42 y.o. guy and yes I would and have made love to women half my age.

 

Just last weekend I went out to eat and had some 20 something looking into my eyes and seriously not averting her gaze. It kind of shocked me because here I was in public. What was I supposed to do?

 

I also get this when I go to the gym. Much younger women looking at me, without me provoking the situation. They are initiating it, and often its more than just about getting attention.

 

What they are looking for in me is not some alpha male bull crap. I don't strut around the gym with giant muscles, trying to dominate other men.

 

Here is the secret: Woman are not always looking for that "alpha" male. They are looking for that rare man that can actually emotionally connect with them. The women see it in my eyes, they know that I am one of those rare men who is emotionally alive and am capable of bonding in this way. This attracts them and they want what I have. They guys look at me and they hate my guts.

 

I know that these woman are looking to be emotionally, sexually and culturally enriched. On a deeper level they just wan't to be loved and appreciated. Some of them are hoping that when they are my age, they will find a nice man to marry like "that guy I saw at the gym that one day".

 

 

that all sounds nice but...i have been trying to make this connection with women for years, it never works. your success may be due to your attractiveness and smoov moves.

this emotional connection thing seems meaningless....its secondary to them. whats primary is a certain appearance and status. i dont mean that in a reductive way towards them, but dont act like its not real.

 

i dont agree with everything that the pua community says about women, but they make the point that attemtps at making these types of connections with females only results in failure. life is not the hallmark or lifetime channel.

 

"they just want to be loved and appreciated" might be true of some women, many its not. the lot of them seem to want a man they can change or fix. that has nothing to do with a connection.

[Vercetti]

Looks and whatever might start things off. Yet if you're emotionally dull that will fade fast, perhaps before end of first date fast. Emotion is all the interaction. Not reading cues = fail.

 

Read Michio Kaku physics of the future. The chapter on AI development. Emotion is far more important.

[elaine567]

"they just want to be loved and appreciated" might be true of some women, many its not. the lot of them seem to want a man they can change or fix. that has nothing to do with a connection.

 

Most of the women I have ever known want to be loved and appreciated and have a connection with their man.

If they do want to change him, it is usually into someone who will love and appreciate them, someone they can have a connection with.

[preraph]

True. Though once you start getting into the older ages (i.e. mine- lol!) then you start getting the “old age, can’t keep up, might end up a nurse” issues too.

 

One of my friends who married a guy 30 years her senior- when she was 30 and he was 60- divorced him in his 80’s because he had dementia and was becoming increasingly violent toward her. He had also opposed her working during the marriage because he was retired when they married, so she didn’t work and they had a prenup that kept his premarital assets for him. Therefore, at 54, she was divorcing a violent man with dementia and she had very little money and has worked full time at $12 per hour since.

 

Moral of the story, I guess, is: regardless of who you marry, you have to think through how it could play out 10, 20, 30+ years down the road.

 

Which also makes me think of how many people- men and women- are quick to call a young woman a gold digger when she dates or marries an older man. That’s what my friend was called. It’s another one of those catch-22’s. You often see men who date much younger women promoting their income and assets as something attractive about them, and yet if the woman considers that, some people call her a gold digger.

 

Anyway, people say judgey things. Have to live to your own standards and what’s best for you.

 

There's got to be easier ways to make money! No. Marrying old farts is no guarantee you'll hit the lotto. Too many complications. Number one, medical costs could use up his pile. But more often than not, you'd have his children sneaking around trying to get guardianship over him and influencing him to change his will. And you never know if you're in the Will or not really anyway, because a Will can be changed at any time without anyone else knowing about it. So - diamonds are a girl's best friend to have any security at all in that situation.

 

He sounds like my poor dad. He got dementia 15 years before he died and he threw a walker at his in-home nurse and we had to stop getting him private care for safety reasons. Plus, there's another thing that can happen to their money. There are a lot of roaches out there who really prey on old people. A guy my dad rented to offered to "help" him pay bills and wrote himself about $10,000 in checks. My dad wasn't cognizant enough to really even notice it. I remember in his last days in his house having to go up there and sneak his rifle out of the house. Took his car keys, and he ran off to the liquor store for 3 days on his riding lawnmower.

 

I'd have gladly paid a golddigger to take him off my hands during that time.

[Buddhist]

I think it's all going to become a moot point soon anyway. Give it another decade and you can go and buy your very own forever attractive mechanical partner guaranteed to never cheat, love you forever and cater to all your needs. I don't doubt it is coming. And frankly I don't think it's all that bad an idea.

[hotpotato]

I think it's all going to become a moot point soon anyway. Give it another decade and you can go and buy your very own forever attractive mechanical partner guaranteed to never cheat, love you forever and cater to all your needs. I don't doubt it is coming. And frankly I don't think it's all that bad an idea.

 

Realdoll is pretty close...

[preraph]

I think it's all going to become a moot point soon anyway. Give it another decade and you can go and buy your very own forever attractive mechanical partner guaranteed to never cheat, love you forever and cater to all your needs. I don't doubt it is coming. And frankly I don't think it's all that bad an idea.

 

I'm gonna get one of those and make it wear turtlenecks and boxy clothing and clean house. I might even stand in line at Best Buy for it. Seriously, if they actually makes one that can DO anything, the men are going to fighting the housewives for it. Because as Alice Cooper once said, "I have other uses for you, Darling." And those huge boobs will only be in the way.

[Buddhist]

Actually I'm highly interested in this application of AI, I think it would solve a lot of problems in the world and ultimately free people from negative perceptions and expectations on both sides. But I also wonder how much of love is actually the push pull of differing values, ideals and cognitive processes. Would a custom lover who looks exactly as you wish, does exactly as you wish and holds all interests in common with you be satisfying at all? It would be a case of being careful what you wish for I think.

 

And then I can the ridiculous side of it with robot lovers complaining on the internet that their owners have left them for real people....

[Auspecial]

OMG, this particular idea is so exhausting! Yet morbidly intriguing.

 

I have a quote I want to put on here tomorrow, when I find it.

[Vercetti]

You will long be dead and your tombstone under the sea before any substantial AI let alone robotics approachs anything in the same universe as " weird science." Better off trying monarch beta kitten programming.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Now, if I had inadvertantly come across a mid-20's woman, and I was talking NOT knowing she is in her mid-20's and she's a:

 

1. A homeowner

2. In a nicely established career

 

I wouldn't know the difference between her and a woman MY age, so I'd likely make an exception and ask her out.

[veggirl]

I might LOOK at a sexy older guy and find him attractive but date? Not a chance. Only interested in guys in similar stages of life, guys from the same GENERATION as me...not someone who has more in common with my parents than with me!

[loveweary11]

Exactly!

 

 

I wouldn't 'ridicule' anyone who has a significant age-gap relationship with someone else. It's NO ONE'S business.

 

Most of my relationships that I've had in my life have been with younger guys. Most of the guys that I've dated have been younger than me. Idk, there probably are guys my age who are with it, who keep up on current trends, who are ACTIVE, who look GOOD for their age, who are FIT, who have um, a lot of ENERGY and who are into the things that I'm into (gaming, d&b and paintball being some of those things). But, in my experience...and with the guys that are in my area...and who are around my age....they are um, BORING, uninteresting, inactive, and...did I say BORING?! They act like they're senior citizens or they're just into things that I'm so NOT into.

 

So, because of what society in general thinks and because of what a lot of people might "think" (*gasp!*) about me dating a guy that's younger than me (or wayy younger than me), I'm supposed to adjust HOW I date, WHO I date or WHO I end up in a relationship with - because I'm supposed to 'care' about what a bunch of STRANGERS think?? No way!

 

I understand where Loveweary is coming from, in addition to some of the other posters on this thread. Even if I think it's weirdish that a 40 something guy is interested in dating a 20 something woman, it's NONE of my damn business - just like it's NONE of anyone ELSE'S business if I like dating guys who are younger than me. I just have way more in common with guys who are younger than with guys who are my age. Also, a LOT of guys my age look...weathered and...OLD. They either don't take care of themselves or, they do, and it's just in their genetics. Either way, I'm just NOT attracted to guys who LOOK old - physically. Sorry. Even though I'm older, I do take care of myself and because of my genetics (which I can thank my Mom for!) I don't look as old as the guys who are my age. I'm not going to feel bad (or ashamed) for being attracted to younger guys emotionally and physically. It is what it is.

 

So, to the OP...just know that it works BOTH ways, bro. There are guys who 'fault women' for 'flirting with/dating/being in relationships with/being intimate with' younger guys as well as the reverse. I mean really, WHO CARES?!?!? To each his/her OWN.

 

 

 

.

[loveweary11]

Actually I'm highly interested in this application of AI, I think it would solve a lot of problems in the world and ultimately free people from negative perceptions and expectations on both sides. But I also wonder how much of love is actually the push pull of differing values, ideals and cognitive processes. Would a custom lover who looks exactly as you wish, does exactly as you wish and holds all interests in common with you be satisfying at all? It would be a case of being careful what you wish for I think.

 

And then I can the ridiculous side of it with robot lovers complaining on the internet that their owners have left them for real people....

 

 

Right?

 

Basically, it would be the ultimate dormat, not the "alpha."

[Buddhist]

You will long be dead and your tombstone under the sea before any substantial AI let alone robotics approachs anything in the same universe as " weird science." Better off trying monarch beta kitten programming.

 

I wouldn't be so sure. What I've witnessed in just my adult life, in terms of technology has been astounding. The rate of technological advancements is also accelerating. As more resources are put on the job the discoveries come thick and fast. I actually think it's highly likely that AI will become ubiquituous in my lifetime.

[preraph]

I can only imagine the panic when women get a male robot they can recharge and have do everything including housework.

[barcode88]

I can only imagine the panic when women get a male robot they can recharge and have do everything including housework.

 

Lol give it 10 years and there will be sex dolls so advanced that there won't be any point for guys to go out to get laid. Imagine the panic with Women.

 

They're already quite impressive from what I googled.

[SmartDude]

I do fault men for flirting with younger women because I think it is gross. Always have. They are supposed to be mentors and adults. Not brainless, knuckle dragging Neanderthals that stick their dick into anything that has a pulse. But ok, if that's how some of you guys prefer to appear, go ahead. I'm sure there are some unbalanced or naive young woman out there willing to give you a toss. *shrug*

 

You are speaking from your past trauma when an older guy took advantage of you. This is not the case for every one.

 

Suprise, Suprise...Sometimes an older man is a SEXUAL mentor to a younger woman. It has nothing to do with dating. It is a temporary situation, not designed to last ,nor would it be beneficial to either party if it did.

 

And indeed there is also the non-sexual, farther type of mentor.

Both roles can be positive. It depends on the needs of the woman, and what she is seeking at that moment in her life.

[empresario]

Flirting is designed, biologically, to figure out if someone is interested in you. There is nothing wrong with two people of legal age flirting, regardless od sociological differences.

 

 

What IS wrong Is being an (explicative) about it. Your FB post doesn't give a lot of context. Is he following her acting desperate? If so, age has nothing to do with it. It's pathetic to witness any dude flat on his face. Was she into it? Then tell the poster to shut up and stop being a judgmental, nosey narcissist.

 

 

My opinion.

[Vercetti]

I wouldn't be so sure. What I've witnessed in just my adult life, in terms of technology has been astounding. The rate of technological advancements is also accelerating. As more resources are put on the job the discoveries come thick and fast. I actually think it's highly likely that AI will become ubiquituous in my lifetime.

 

Do more research. The issues are just about as profound as thinking will break the speed of light with space travel cause have flashlight apps on our smartphones. AI around the level of insects sure. Beyond that one is takeing how we process the world for granted. Pattern recognition one example, you take for granted can tell what a cloud chair dog is instantly. Takes a robot an hour to figure out a chair might be a chair, does it have emotional reaction of what can do with chair, is it self aware and wonder if the chair would be comfortable to sit in, if a girl robot rolls in does it debate pulling the chair out for her.

 

Then the thing of we have ran similations of human brain activity on super computer's recently. The result, 45 minutes to simulate 1 second of 1% of activity.

 

Even people with lacking social skills, lack of risk reward, that are completely clumsy, suffering from mental illness and physical disability...are graceful gods next to what science can offer. Hell slugs, insects are graceful gods. It's not a forgone conclusion of Moore's Law it's not lacking of funds that's the bottle neck.

 

Technology think is so advanced, is not smart. It's glorified data storage and retrieval spinning on a Victorian era platter or on a SD electronic punch card. Will we have AI that does simple tasks or abstract in simple abstract forms, yes. Will we have HAL blade runner and weird science...

[empresario]

I wouldn't be so sure. What I've witnessed in just my adult life, in terms of technology has been astounding. The rate of technological advancements is also accelerating. As more resources are put on the job the discoveries come thick and fast. I actually think it's highly likely that AI will become ubiquituous in my lifetime.

 

Bill Gates would agree. And I trust his opinion. He fears the ethical dilemma of emerging machine learning and AI technologies more than he fears other world problems. He is an advocate for placing moral precedents sooner than later. If anyone is in the position to know things we don't...it's him. Remember, he's the man that has a warehouse full of every seed in the world on an Island someplace in case the world goes to ****.

[preraph]

Lol give it 10 years and there will be sex dolls so advanced that there won't be any point for guys to go out to get laid. Imagine the panic with Women.

 

They're already quite impressive from what I googled.

 

I don't think women are going to panic about it.