Author Jclements00 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 I only have a checking account no investments or anything else. Her name is not and never was on my account. Her credit is bad like mine. She has a credit card she doesn't use and I have one I recently got and am paying on. We don't own any property no house no children together nothing. We both have student loan debt but we had that before we ever met. We just talked tonight about being civil. She wants to trust that I won't screw her over somehow and I say I don't see why she cares to trust me. She doesn't care about me or love me, doesn't want me here any longer than I have to be and just wants me out and the marriage over. Yet I tell her I can be a real jerk if she wants such as telling her to stop watching my TV every time she does cause I pay the bill I paid for the TV before I met her. I could tell whoever comes here to get out, I pay the rent here no one of her friends comes here. Same with the internet she uses I pay for it. But I don't do any of that I stay away from her I let her do what she wants when she's here. I could also stop paying rent and move anywhere with nothing but a sleeping bag and let her figure out the bills here but I won't do that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Well she's already got Medicaid and getting insurance through her work soon so she won't need to be on mine. I told her I wasn't paying for the divorce since I'm not the one who wanted it. She wants me gone more than I want to go right now so she will handle the divorce stuff. That money will be well spent - Paying for your divorce. It'll be the best thing you did and I think if you don't file first, this is gonna drag out for a long time. You want to be in the same place a year or two from now? My guess is no. Borrow the money if need be, from a trusted friend or family member. Get it done, you'll feel much more in control if you take the bull by the horns here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 My main concern at the moment is moving out. Once I do that in the next month or so I have to wait six months to file for divorce. I'm in Louisiana where we have no legal separation, we just have to live apart 180 days before filing for divorce. After that I can see about filing if I'm financially able to. She said she would file when she can afford it but I'm guessing I could afford it before her. The main thing is moving out. Divorce should go smooth with no property no house no kids together no money together nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 My wife has some nerve. Wants to trust me and be all civil. Yet sends me a text saying one thing she's not is a liar. I asked many times if she has a girlfriend and she denies it. Yet tells a friend on Facebook she enjoying her new girlfriend and even says who she is. And she wonders why I get aggravated when I see her. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 My wife has some nerve. Wants to trust me and be all civil. Yet sends me a text saying one thing she's not is a liar. I asked many times if she has a girlfriend and she denies it. Yet tells a friend on Facebook she enjoying her new girlfriend and even says who she is. And she wonders why I get aggravated when I see her. Stop talking to her. We tell you to stop talking to her and you just keep on doing it. Why? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 I don't have a 401k. The student loans we have were made before we knew each other. I don't talk to her unless I have to. I asked her questions in the past but now we rarely speak to each other and I stopped caring to talk to her. I do have to see her. But I keep to myself and do my own thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 How much longer until your new place is ready? Still going to be a PITA having to wait 180 days before you can even file. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 I'm not sure when the new place will be ready. I asked about it a week ago and it's still being worked on. I'm still waiting another month for my income taxes to be able to afford things but I'm hoping it comes sooner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 She was home last night for awhile. I fell asleep for a while woke up and she was gone, her kids were going to bed. She didn't come home until after I had left for work this morning. I just informed her how sad and pathetic it is she can't be home when her kids have school the next morning. And that doing stuff like that makes me want to screw her. But she says she does everything for them when in the last two months she cleaned once and cooked maybe three times. She's always with her girlfriend or has her with her anytime she does stuff with her kids and it's sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Those are not your kids right? I would call child protective services on her and tell them what she is doing. Those kids are being neglected, despite what you are doing to help. Call CPS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Now that's something I thought about but I can't do that to her. She doesn't spend the time she should with her kids but I do believe she still loves them she just is warped up with this girlfriend she got. I still want the divorce to go smooth and not cause any problems while I live there. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Those are not your kids right? I would call child protective services on her and tell them what she is doing. Those kids are being neglected, despite what you are doing to help. Call CPS. Go ahead and call and see what they say. I know what they will say in my state: the kids are being taken care of by a responsible adult. Next case. In other words, they don't take sides (mother vs. father) in something like this. In fact, they don't care WHO is taking care of the kids as long as that person is a responsible adult. Grandfather, aunt, uncle, lesbian girlfriend, gay boyfriend - any responsible adult providing for the basic needs of the kids is find with them. They can only get involved when the children are being neglected. Again, in my state, they won't even investigate until the police make the request due to probable cause to suspect the kids could be in danger. CPS is not what most of us think it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Now that's something I thought about but I can't do that to her. She doesn't spend the time she should with her kids but I do believe she still loves them she just is warped up with this girlfriend she got. I still want the divorce to go smooth and not cause any problems while I live there. Who is more important? Who needs to be taken care of more? Her or the children? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Her children but my intentions are not to have cps involved in it its not at that level of neglect. In other news she kinda coyly texted me that maybe she's trying to figure out her sexuality. Now I know she's going or already gone lesbo and she won't admit having a girlfriend but to me I'd rather her be with another chick than have a dude touching her you know. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Her children but my intentions are not to have cps involved in it its not at that level of neglect. In other news she kinda coyly texted me that maybe she's trying to figure out her sexuality. Now I know she's going or already gone lesbo and she won't admit having a girlfriend but to me I'd rather her be with another chick than have a dude touching her you know. If you are not willing to do anything about it then quit complaining about it. She's doing it and you aren't going to stop her. Concentrate on the things you can do, like getting out of that apartment post haste. She has already figured out her sexuality. Shes at least a bi-sexual if not a lesbian who has been in denial. Tell her to quit texting you unless it has something to do with the kids or the divorce. You're not her friend.l Quit caring. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 Yes sir I shall do as you say. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Yes sir I shall do as you say. I don't mean to be harsh but the only action that gets the attention of users like your WW is tough love. You have to be strong and resolved if you are to get out of this with any shred of self respect, because women like her know how to emasculate a man who wont put up with their crap. Her mom probably did it to her dad, and probably most of the women she grew up with were abusive towards their men. You have painted us a pretty good picture from her. Women just like her are a dime a dozen and can be found at any local Dollar Store. You can do much better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 So sorry this is happening, OP. Keep your head up. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 Thank you. It isn't so bad for me anymore, I'm just pretty much doing my own thing until I move out and move on. Just for example I'd rather be with a woman who will clean up my dog's poop on the carpet rather than let it sit there till I come home and do it while complaining theirs poop on the carpet. She bought the dog but the dog likes me a lot more and my wife hates that it's funny but she will let dog poop sit there all day and expect me to clean it soon as I walk in from working hard all day. Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 JC- What are you going to do with all of that stress free time once you move into your new place? Can you imagine how nice and peaceful it's going to be, not having to deal with her crap anymore? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Thank you. It isn't so bad for me anymore, I'm just pretty much doing my own thing until I move out and move on. Just for example I'd rather be with a woman who will clean up my dog's poop on the carpet rather than let it sit there till I come home and do it while complaining theirs poop on the carpet. She bought the dog but the dog likes me a lot more and my wife hates that it's funny but she will let dog poop sit there all day and expect me to clean it soon as I walk in from working hard all day. Classy. What part of the living room does she like to work on an engine block at? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 It's a very small female dog she has two spots one by the window and one closer to the hallway. But she always runs to the door if I'm home to take her out. She poops inside once a month maybe when no ones here all day. And yes it will be quiet and peaceful, hopefully I will spend some time remodeling my place at first and then I will have time to just do what I want might pick back up on my old guitar hobby since I stopped playing years ago and wanna pick that back up. On another note we had an actual talk last night face to face and got her to admit her friend is her girlfriend. She's so afraid of what her parents will think as she has a younger sister who's been lesbian for years and her parents pretty much don't accept it don't talk about it. My wife says every guy she's with she's never really happy and was only truly happy when she has in a relationship with another girl before. I told her the fact she's lesbian doesn't bother me, it's lying about it and that we're still living together that's BS. She thinks her kids are just jealous and afraid she'll move her gf in when I leave but I talked to her kids after and the youngest doesn't care either way, the two older ones don't like it and don't think she needs to date anyone and instead spend time with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 So now that my wife has told me she has a girlfriend and I have pictures of texts and messages saying she did from the last month can I use that in any way when getting the divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 My thing I mean wife didn't come home last night and still isn't here this morning. Her kids slept here though. That's so aggravating if her kids sleep here she needs to sleep here. Sick and tired of her doing what she wants with no care for her own kids it's so pathetic. She says she does everything for them. I said it's BS she only cares about herself and her girlfriend. Which the other night when we talked she wanted it to work out with her girlfriend so bad and the next morning she says her girlfriend was with her other girlfriend and she didn't care. So why in the world would my wife date a girl and hope it works out when the girl has another girlfriend? She makes zero sense and she has a lot to figure out. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Take the jealousy out of it for a moment. That's the emotion above the others you need to control at the moment. You're trying to rationalize what she's doing as she's doing it to you right? Wrong, what she's doing has nothing to do with you. If you can imagine two people at opposite ends of an empty room facing each other, nothing in their direct line of sight. Suddenly you're popping up in the middle obscuring their view. It's harsh, but that is what you are at the moment. All she's thinking about is her GF, you're just getting in the way. You've only got a limited amount of time in the house before you move out. You've accepted she's with her GF and you can't control her movements. Bite the bullet for now until you move out because baby sitting the kids is going to be her problem once you have gone. Stop the texting, she comes home don't ask where she was. She tries to engage you in conversation be polite and answer but don't get dragged into petty squabbles or let her provoke you. Let go. You're feeding her ego kibbles every time you ask about the affair. She could care less if it hurts you or not. Detach. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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