Proof my wife is cheating

[Jclements00]

Yes it stings but I really only felt the worst for the first two weeks. Since then the last month has been a lot better than not. By her obviously not caring about me at all and doing her own thing while being happy with her girlfriend it makes things a lot easier for me. I know I have no reason to feel bad about any of this though my heart still lets me have random short moments of depression that may lasts only a few minutes but still there. I know a better life awaits.

[Jclements00]

At the same time I'm not sitting here all depressed. I have support from friends and guys I work with that help me feel better plus being on here. Going to the gym helps. And my wife not giving a care in the world off being happy really helps me to be a bit excited to be on my own. And the possibility of having this trailer with my own yard and a place I can sort of remodel and make as my own is exciting in itself.

[Jclements00]

I definitely plan on being all around more successful after this. I don't think she will care one way or the other what happens with me once I'm gone. We both know I'll be better off financially which doesn't mean happiness but having more money to be able to buy the things to do what I want will be a tremendous help. One thing I plan on focusing more on is my body and really hitting the weights hard and eating right.

[LifeWasted]

I don't know what to say but I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope the divorce goes smoothly.

 

And don't say she no longer loves you. She probably does, but she loves herself and the OW more right now.

[Jclements00]

Well she tells me she loved me once but no longer does. She even admitted to marrying me so I could pay her rent. I hate being used and all that does is make me want to be vengeful but I'm trying not to. I realized she's just not the type of girl you marry and think she'll be a good wife. She's not even great at raising her own kids spending most of her time with her girlfriend instead of being home with her kids not even cooking or cleaning much. Like her kids aren't here all this weekend so she's staying at her girlfriends which is fine with me but we're still married and living together so she needs to be home sometime. She comes by to get some clothes maybe take a shower and leaves. She's working tonight till 11 so even if she were to come home after she'd go straight to bed.

[Darren Steez]

I paid for the roof over her kids head. She didn't work last year so she won't file a return. She's so worried I'll keep all the taxes. I don't want to cause any problems so she'll get half of the taxes but if I don't pay back the rent I'm behind that will just fall on her to pay.

 

You're about to get kicked to the curb. Stop worrying about making waving and start looking out for number one. If you lost your job and were sleeping in the street she wouldn't care because she's moved on.

 

I suggest you start planning to do the same.

[Jclements00]

I am planning to move out. I'm waiting on a trailer to finish being worked on and once my income tax comes in a few weeks I will have the money to move out and buy the things I need. We both agree I won't leave until then and I'm still paying rent here until then since I'm living here. Then it's her problem and she can pay everything herself. We stay out of each other's way and we may argue through texts every so often but besides that we don't really talk much unless it's tax related really. Kind of both doing our own thing for now.

[sandylee1]

Well she tells me she loved me once but no longer does. She even admitted to marrying me so I could pay her rent. I hate being used and all that does is make me want to be vengeful but I'm trying not to. I realized she's just not the type of girl you marry and think she'll be a good wife. She's not even great at raising her own kids spending most of her time with her girlfriend instead of being home with her kids not even cooking or cleaning much. Like her kids aren't here all this weekend so she's staying at her girlfriends which is fine with me but we're still married and living together so she needs to be home sometime. She comes by to get some clothes maybe take a shower and leaves. She's working tonight till 11 so even if she were to come home after she'd go straight to bed.

 

I don't say this often, but you're much too nice. After admitting she married you to pay her rent, you still don't come across as being bitter or angry or wanting revenge. I really commend you. You have such a good heart. I wish I could be like that sometimes.

 

You sound like a man who has great qualities and will have no problem with love in the future. Your heart is in the right place.

[Jclements00]

Thank you. I try not to be angry about the whole situation and when I look back on the whole marriage I can see that she really didn't marry out of love for me but that she did love me at one point. That's not what I want or deserve from anyone and I know I deserve better. It's my first marriage, we married pretty quick and I actually don't regret it. I learned a lot and got to have the experience even if it wasn't all good a lot of the time. I'm the one who worked hard for three years for what little we do have and she just doesn't appreciate it but maybe she will when I'm gone and it's too late. At times I do want revenge and have it in the palm of my hand but when it comes down to it, i probably won't be worth it. She didn't come home again last night I know she's at her girlfriends and it really doesn't bother me cause it's no surprise. Every relationship she's in ends bad for her mostly because of her and I bet this one with her new girl won't be any different. Just the other night she had some friends over outside, she had her fire pit going and was drinking and I was sleeping after working all day and got woken at 1am by her girl yelling mad at her over something. I asked her what happened and she got upset and asked if I wanted to argue with her too like everyone else was. From experience I know that one argument with that girl is the start of many and she's one to always be right and has to have it her way, she's not able to just make up and forget.

[LifeWasted]

Thank you. I try not to be angry about the whole situation and when I look back on the whole marriage I can see that she really didn't marry out of love for me but that she did love me at one point. That's not what I want or deserve from anyone and I know I deserve better. It's my first marriage, we married pretty quick and I actually don't regret it. I learned a lot and got to have the experience even if it wasn't all good a lot of the time. I'm the one who worked hard for three years for what little we do have and she just doesn't appreciate it but maybe she will when I'm gone and it's too late. At times I do want revenge and have it in the palm of my hand but when it comes down to it, i probably won't be worth it. She didn't come home again last night I know she's at her girlfriends and it really doesn't bother me cause it's no surprise. Every relationship she's in ends bad for her mostly because of her and I bet this one with her new girl won't be any different. Just the other night she had some friends over outside, she had her fire pit going and was drinking and I was sleeping after working all day and got woken at 1am by her girl yelling mad at her over something. I asked her what happened and she got upset and asked if I wanted to argue with her too like everyone else was. From experience I know that one argument with that girl is the start of many and she's one to always be right and has to have it her way, she's not able to just make up and forget.

 

This kind of crap is no way to live.

 

First of all, if I had been working my butt off all day and was bone tired, I would have walked out in that yard with my double barrel shotgun or called the cops to have everybody kicked out. i would have told your thing (not wife) to go home with her girlfriend. Do not let people disrespect you in your own home.

[Jclements00]

I told her she's lucky I didn't go out there and kick that fire pit over. She had her friends over hanging out and it was right outside our bedroom window but I was able to sleep through most of it. That's until I was woken up to her girlfriend yelling at her at 1am. By the time I got up everyone was gone and my wife was leaving and told me everyone was arguing with her. Part of me laughed. The fire pit was a gift to her for this past Christmas from my parents which she doesn't deserve to have now but it's hers not mine. I pay the rent here and will not let that happen again. She can do what she wants when I leave.

[LifeWasted]

Thing is...your wife has never grown up, nor does she understand what it means to be a wife. A wife doesn't stay up all night partying while her mate goes to bed.

 

Next time you marry, make damn sure marry a chick with some semblance of morals and family values. Okay?

[Jclements00]

That's what I plan on doing if I even decide to marry again. She is not a grown up. She spends all night at her new girlfriends house even when her three kids are home. She hardly spends time with her kids since she got with the girlfriend and her kids see they are together they don't like the girl and it's just sad. She only cares about herself. But soon enough when I'm gone reality will slap her in the face when she's doing this all on her own. And one day her kids will be smart enough to tell their mother how they really feel. Even her oldest daughter who's 14 tells me her mom deserves what she gets.

[Jclements00]

Yeah well she did cheat on me early on in the marriage and I forgave and we worked it out to where it slowly became a non issue. But now she has a girlfriend who she constantly denies to me when I saw facebook messages she sent to a friend saying she's enjoying her new girlfriend. Plus I saw texts where the girlfriend said they were girlfriends just without the title. My wife claims when she started working two months ago she would want to leave but it wasn't until she caught up with her girlfriend that any mention of separation was made. It just makes me not care anymore as well and whatever happens to her when I leave is her problem.

[LifeWasted]

So tell us your plan of action other than finding that new trailer.

[Jclements00]

My wife knows more about divorce since she went through one 10 years ago. She said she'll take care of all the filing and paying for it cause I said I'm not paying for a divorce I didn't want. What I'm doing is moving out as soon as I get my taxes and the trailer is ready. We have to live apart for six months before filing since we're in Louisiana where they don't have a legal separation. We have no children together, own no property no house or anything. We both want this to go smoothly and just be over, she doesn't want alimony so unless she tries for that I don't need an attorney and she won't get one either. This should go smoothly based on us not owning anything having no kids and only married three years. When she actually files for divorce she lets me know and we sign whatever papers we need and be through with it.

[harrybrown]

hope she follows thru so that you are not tied to her anymore.

[Popsicle]

My first thought upon reading your opening post, was if you've only been married for 3 years, how has she been unhappy for a "long time"?

 

After reading the rest of the thread, I can definitely tell who has and has never been through a divorce.

 

In divorce, you and your wife will be required to split all assets and all debts 50/50. So, yes, you will have to give her half of the tax money, and yes, you will still owe half of the past due rent. Even if you try to keep all of the tax money and not pay the rent the courts will come after you for it anyway, so I say just give it to her now to prevent undue headache for your both, and like others have said, follow through with the D. You are probably unhappy in the M too if you're honest with yourself.

[Jclements00]

I say she's been unhappy for a long time by that I mean the last year and a half or so. She used to drink alcohol almost every night and at first it was okay but a couple months into the marriage her attitude changed to where she would yell and come down on me for no reason when I'd be doing something simple like relaxing watching tv. She would get in drunken fits where she would start breaking things like dishes and destroy rooms in the house. That made me back off and stay to myself in another room when I'd come home from work and she's drinking. She didn't work for three years until recently so I paid the bills.

 

As for assets we own nothing we have no money together no children no house nothing. We rent an apartment which she was in before I moved in so the lease is in her name. She's afraid I wouldn't give her the taxes that'll be deposited into my bank account but we agreed to split it in half. I did file married filing separately but received a letter from the IRS saying I didn't provide a form that was needed and they were unsure of my filing status since I was claiming my wife as a dependant. So we redid my taxes filing married filing jointly and found we get double the amount plus we amended last year's taxes to change the status and get some back from that as well. Now her name is on my taxes so I don't think I could keep all the taxes even though I worked and she didn't. Yes she knows more about divorce she's been through it before and all we want is for this to go smooth as possible.

[LifeWasted]

You married an alcoholic.

 

It's all starting to fall into place. Do you have anyone other than friends to talk to about this? A chaplain or a mentor who you go to for advice? It helps to talk to a real person sometimes.

[Popsicle]

 

As for assets we own nothing we have no money together no children no house nothing. We rent an apartment which she was in before I moved in so the lease is in her name. She's afraid I wouldn't give her the taxes that'll be deposited into my bank account but we agreed to split it in half. I did file married filing separately but received a letter from the IRS saying I didn't provide a form that was needed and they were unsure of my filing status since I was claiming my wife as a dependant. So we redid my taxes filing married filing jointly and found we get double the amount plus we amended last year's taxes to change the status and get some back from that as well. Now her name is on my taxes so I don't think I could keep all the taxes even though I worked and she didn't. Yes she knows more about divorce she's been through it before and all we want is for this to go smooth as possible.

 

It doesn't matter whose name is on the taxes or the lease. You will still have to split the tax money (an asset) and the rent (a debt) until you file for D.

[Jclements00]

I talk to friends and co workers all the time about it and it does help to have that advice. She says she knows she will have to pay the rent once I move out and I won't be paying on it anymore since I won't live here. I will give her half the taxes but she believes if I fail to pay the rent I'm behind she will just have to pay it. I should be able to pay it back with the tax money it's only maybe $400 I'm behind on rent and until I move out I'll continue to pay an extra $25 or $50 every two weeks on it.

[Jclements00]

I don't have a problem giving her half the taxes since half will be about $4000 or so I'm getting. The rent won't be a problem then. I just want this to go smooth and move on with my life. Her constant not caring isn't worth anything at all anymore.

[Jclements00]

Should I be upset that my brother in law and sister still talk to my wife like they are friends and are giving her advice and support while not taking my side when I tell them the things she did and how she doesn't care about me? I know I can't choose who they are friends with but I kinda feel like if she doesn't want anything to do with me she can go ahead and forget about my family cause it's not her family anymore.

[Clay]

I would sit your sister down and tell her how you feel. Tell her what she is doing is hurting you. If she chooses to continue her friendship with your stbx then you know where you stand.

 

Clay