Author Jclements00 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Yeah you're right. My wife had blocked me on facebook cause I asked one question about a post she made and her thinking was she didn't want me harassing her on there when I haven't had any contact no commenting or liking anything on her page for a long time. So I told her she can go ahead and unfriend my family cause they aren't her family anymore. She told my brother in law and he said I wasn't his daddy he don't have to not be friends with her just cause I want it. Keep in mind I've known my brother in law for a good 15 years and we always were kinda close and they only know my wife for three years and only talk occasionally on Facebook. That's what upsets me it's like they don't believe when I tell them what she's done and even now her having a girlfriend it seems like they don't care. So I tend to stop caring about everyone and I don't want to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Should I be upset that my brother in law and sister still talk to my wife like they are friends and are giving her advice and support while not taking my side when I tell them the things she did and how she doesn't care about me? I know I can't choose who they are friends with but I kinda feel like if she doesn't want anything to do with me she can go ahead and forget about my family cause it's not her family anymore. I would tell your sister that you don't appreciate her taking sides against you. Tell her if it continues there will no longer be any relationship. Her husband will go with whatever she does. No need to talk to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Yeah you're right. My wife had blocked me on facebook cause I asked one question about a post she made and her thinking was she didn't want me harassing her on there when I haven't had any contact no commenting or liking anything on her page for a long time. So I told her she can go ahead and unfriend my family cause they aren't her family anymore. She told my brother in law and he said I wasn't his daddy he don't have to not be friends with her just cause I want it. Keep in mind I've known my brother in law for a good 15 years and we always were kinda close and they only know my wife for three years and only talk occasionally on Facebook. That's what upsets me it's like they don't believe when I tell them what she's done and even now her having a girlfriend it seems like they don't care. So I tend to stop caring about everyone and I don't want to do that. In order to live a happy life, sometimes you need to extricate yourself from those who do not have your back. For now, until the dust settles, I would step back and just be patient. Don't talk to your sister of BIL for a while. Maybe not even until the D goes through. And why the f_ck are you going to be living in a trailer? I hope that is not your permanent plan in life. Get some schooling, a better job and get a house! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 It sounds like a mess. I still would just talk to your sister. I agree with Life. Sounds like the brother in law has already made his choice. If your sister wants to stay friends with her then maybe your just going to have to cut them out for a while. My brother helped me at times but he was also a huge negative at times. Move on and focus on you. The more friends you make the less you need to rely on people that disrespect you. There are plenty of other faithful decent women out there. Just take your time and heal you. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Why am I living in a trailer? I live in South Louisiana where trailers are very common around here. I have a decent job with good job security and free insurance. The trailer is very cheap $350 a month compared to the $550 I pay for the apartment I'm in now. I would like to get a house but I have bad credit I'm trying to rebuild so buying right now is not an option. Renting a decent house in a decent area will cost me at least $500 a month and I would likely have to buy all my own furnishings. The trailer comes with all appliances even a washer dryer and microwave. The guy who lived in it before was a carpenter and built nice cypress cabinets and dressers and a table plus new flooring, new roof and painting the outside is being done. It has its own small yard with a small shed and it's in a quiet neighborhood far enough from my wife but close enough to my work. No I don't plan on staying there forever but the costs will allow me to save for a house while rebuilding my credit. That's why I would want to live in the trailer for now. As for my sister and brother in law I don't plan on speaking to them about my situation any more. They want to be friends with my wife let them I'll keep my distance from them for now and from all negative people. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 But I don't want to do that at least not until I move out then one day ruin her for all the bad things she's done to me. Part of me wants to go out with my head held up and not do anything at all and I may not. But the more she keeps lying about her girlfriend and not coming home at night to be with her and not her kids, it fuels that fire to watch her burn. I realize you are angry, but you need to focus your energy on moving on and setting up your new life without her. She isn't worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 You know I was kidding about the trailer, right? It actually sounds nice. Going no contact with the sis and BIL would be a good idea I think. Just lay low until it all blows over and the D is final. Then you can tell everyone why you ended it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Should I be upset that my brother in law and sister still talk to my wife like they are friends and are giving her advice and support while not taking my side when I tell them the things she did and how she doesn't care about me? I know I can't choose who they are friends with but I kinda feel like if she doesn't want anything to do with me she can go ahead and forget about my family cause it's not her family anymore. The more you can let go of what other people do, the happier you will be. They may have a connection, and they may keep the connection...not within your control. Just tell them you don't want to talk about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 She's the one who wants to end it. She's been unhappy and while she denies it I do believe her meeting her girlfriend had a big part in her decision. They grew up around each other and had a fling when they were younger. Then they met up again at a softball game which one of my wife's kids plays and they started hanging out going to movies eat out which she denies aren't dates but I saw she wrote first date down in a calendar she has. This happened maybe a week at most before she said she was done with the marriage and wanted a separation. Personally Id rather it be a girl than a guy it just doesn't hurt that much and it makes me happier this is ending. I'll still talk to my family just not about my divorce or problems. I tried to fix it tried to work it out asked to go to marriage counseling everything I could do and she just didn't want so okay time to move on to bigger and better things. I like her kids and while they can be very messy and disrespectful at times they aren't bad kids but I don't know if I was really cut out to play daddy to three girls after being single with no kids either. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 You cant make someone want to be with you. Your best to just walk away. Its good at least she is telling you this. Imagine all the broken BH or BW's over in the OM and OW section that don't even have a clue they are being cheated on. There lovely cheating spouse just keeps them around like a security blanket. I know it hurts but it sounds like your best far away from her as possible. My xW played that game of you will never guess just what the truth is. I would have paid for her to just say it was over. The pain we go through shouldn't have to relived on a daily basis. Just be thankful your finally getting away from her. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 She's the one who wants to end it. She's been unhappy and while she denies it I do believe her meeting her girlfriend had a big part in her decision. They grew up around each other and had a fling when they were younger. Then they met up again at a softball game which one of my wife's kids plays and they started hanging out going to movies eat out which she denies aren't dates but I saw she wrote first date down in a calendar she has. This happened maybe a week at most before she said she was done with the marriage and wanted a separation. Personally Id rather it be a girl than a guy it just doesn't hurt that much and it makes me happier this is ending. I'll still talk to my family just not about my divorce or problems. I tried to fix it tried to work it out asked to go to marriage counseling everything I could do and she just didn't want so okay time to move on to bigger and better things. I like her kids and while they can be very messy and disrespectful at times they aren't bad kids but I don't know if I was really cut out to play daddy to three girls after being single with no kids either. Okay...well, maybe you should stay away from bisexual women in the future? Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 I plan on living far enough away from her to probably not see her at all. I am glad she told me she's unhappy but I know she's lying about not dating her girlfriend and I can't wait to one day just send her pics of the proof of her saying she is. Even then she'll want to deny it but she said clear as day the girl is her girlfriend. I plan on staying away from bisexuals crazy women and any woman that needs to take a bunch of meds for anxiety and depression. And single moms with three kids are single for a reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 I plan on living far enough away from her to probably not see her at all. I am glad she told me she's unhappy but I know she's lying about not dating her girlfriend and I can't wait to one day just send her pics of the proof of her saying she is. Even then she'll want to deny it but she said clear as day the girl is her girlfriend. I plan on staying away from bisexuals crazy women and any woman that needs to take a bunch of meds for anxiety and depression. And single moms with three kids are single for a reason. There you go. Aller vivre votre vie. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Well at first things were great. Then after we got married her true self came out. The self that has this nasty attitude about everything when drinking. Destroys the whole place at times cause she goes into this mad drunken rage and admits she used to do that sort of thing a lot more often. Come to find out not long before I met her she contemplated suicide cause it has so hard to pay her bills. She has issues but she slowed down her drinking a lot since she started working two months ago but she doesn't stay home too much these days for me to really know ow much she's drinking when I'm not around. Its at the point now she says she had to take more meds for the anxiety I give her from bugging her so much asking where she's at and being upset a lot. It's like she expects me to be all okay with this and just let her go off and do whatever she wants. We are still married still living together and her kids ask where she is when she's not home yet she thinks it's none of my business. She even blocks my texts a lot now and only texts me if she's coming home for something. It's all good cause I have the proof she has that girlfriend and she has no clue at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 The things I see my wife call me on Facebook is really aggravating me. She's called me donkey, just her roommate, that thing. And I don't like it but can't tell her I see what she puts. Its just fuel to the fire that I wanna screw her over any way possible when I'm trying not to but it would be good to see her get what she deserves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cgiles Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 How much you did with the 180 lists ? The 180 | AFFAIRCARE Did you got "No more mr nice guy" by robert glover, as Jsmart adviced you ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 I never heard of the 180 but will look into it. I'm at a point now where I get aggravated over little things and am trying not to let that affect me. It's hard when my wife is pretty much doing what she wants. Maybe if I would just back away completely just pretty much ignore everything she does then it'll help me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Now I may have a problem getting my wife off my work insurance. I'm with Blue Cross and they usually don't let you take someone off until open enrollment which is in December. My wife should be getting insurance from her work soon so that's the reason I'm giving as hopefully they allow to remove her. My insurance is free but I pay $80 a week for her that I could be using or saving instead. Link to post Share on other sites
Akheron Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Now I may have a problem getting my wife off my work insurance. I'm with Blue Cross and they usually don't let you take someone off until open enrollment which is in December. My wife should be getting insurance from her work soon so that's the reason I'm giving as hopefully they allow to remove her. My insurance is free but I pay $80 a week for her that I could be using or saving instead. Most employers Allow you to change your health insurance for "life changing events". Divorce qualifies as such an event. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 The things I see my wife call me on Facebook is really aggravating me. She's called me donkey, just her roommate, that thing. And I don't like it but can't tell her I see what she puts. Its just fuel to the fire that I wanna screw her over any way possible when I'm trying not to but it would be good to see her get what she deserves. She's not worth your time. Shes cheap and trashy and no class. Wipe her dust off your feet and move on. Quit looking at her FB. All that is going to do is bring you more pain. Anyone who agrees with what she says on FB isn't your friend anyway so what do you care? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Now I may have a problem getting my wife off my work insurance. I'm with Blue Cross and they usually don't let you take someone off until open enrollment which is in December. My wife should be getting insurance from her work soon so that's the reason I'm giving as hopefully they allow to remove her. My insurance is free but I pay $80 a week for her that I could be using or saving instead. Most judges are going to require you to keep her on your insurance until the D is final. Check with your lawyer. By the way, you should be the one filing, not her. Be the leader and get it done. Do something proactive for once. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I never heard of the 180 but will look into it. I'm at a point now where I get aggravated over little things and am trying not to let that affect me. It's hard when my wife is pretty much doing what she wants. Maybe if I would just back away completely just pretty much ignore everything she does then it'll help me. The 180 definitely will help you move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 Well she's already got Medicaid and getting insurance through her work soon so she won't need to be on mine. I told her I wasn't paying for the divorce since I'm not the one who wanted it. She wants me gone more than I want to go right now so she will handle the divorce stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Well she's already got Medicaid and getting insurance through her work soon so she won't need to be on mine. I told her I wasn't paying for the divorce since I'm not the one who wanted it. She wants me gone more than I want to go right now so she will handle the divorce stuff. Do you understand that if she goes and gets a credit card, or any kind of credit, while the two of you are married, YOU will be on the hook for whatever she runs up? If she buys a car, puts a down payment on an apartment with a credit card...even if you are not on the card... you could get stuck with rental payments if she bails on her lease? Both her credit and bad credit are shared with YOU as long as you are man and wife. You need to understand that a marriage is not just a symbolic, publicly sanctioned union between two people...it is a business arrangement... a contract which you are held to legally. It carries legal ramifications. At the very least, go get a legal separation, that way you are protected from any financial entanglements her and her luvr get themselves into from this point onwards. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I haven't read this whole thing but I think you need to file and quick. Dragging out the risk of someone who has contempt for you using a giant financial club on you is something to avoid! When the marriage is over it's over! You would be safer giving a stranger on the street access to your bank accounts, credit, investments and other assets. Link to post Share on other sites
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