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Why do so many older men think younger women want them?

Nikki Sahagin

By Nikki Sahagin
in General Relationship Discussion

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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted
You can have a strong opinion about it, and that's fine...Just try not to typecast everyone...Heck, there are people failing miserably and can't get out of their own way when they do everything "right"...

 

There are no guarantees..as you know...

 

TFY

 

 

Regarding the points you made above... Well, maybe you are one of those deluded old guys who think that every time a woman is nice to them, that they are getting hit on.

 

 

I get it that lots of men naturally spin their perception of women's behavior as sexual... when it isn't. That's the point of this thread. How lots of men delude themselves.

 

 

... and even when they may not be deluding themselves... way too many hold themselves to a different or non-existent standard of behavior based on not giving a shyte about the other person and her needs... as illustrated more than a few times just on this thread alone.

 

 

So, tell me again why older men are 'better'?

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
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Thanks for the history lesson. My point was that at the time the attention was being gotten, MM had the more traditionally feminine figure. If you're trying to make some correlation between having an hourglass figure and dying a sad lonely death before midlife, I'm not certain that's 100% scientific.

 

And yeah, as a woman who looks like a woman, I wanted to give a shout out to all those other women with boobs and a butt that it's a GOOD thing NOT to look like Sheldon Cooper with a hoo-ha. lol

 

 

 

That's fine... I'm in favor of everyone being proud of what they are born with. Who are you to say what a woman should look like? 'A woman who looks like a woman'... give me a break.

 

 

I'm NOT in favor of young women (no matter how they are born) being sold a bill of goods about their worth and having to tolerate the misplaced attention of integrity challenged men who really should know better ie so-called older men.

 

 

Twiggy, as skinny as she was, was still a celebrity, and I'm pretty sure had lots of negative attention too, but for different reasons.

 

 

Kind of sick of some guys using the same tired 'boys will be boys' argument and overused 'biology' excuse to rationalize away their ridiculous behavior.

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
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The guy I know through a friend will walk up to a complete stranger and ask for a bj.
That is just super gross :sick::sick::sick: and really any man who would do it is also super gross :sick::sick::sick: whether he is young and hot or a grampa or whatever. Srsly I think it's sexual harassment. Anyway, the guys on here who are in their 30's are not what the OP is talking about I don't think. It is the much older guys who I honestly can't help but associate with my dad or grampa that just make me super uncomfortable when they try to hit on me, I feel like it's just ridiculous. but OTOH I know for sure that some of those guys are with women my age so as always it takes all kinds! But ... just NOOOO!! When I am old myself, that will be my time to be with an old guy!!
  • Like 1
GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

Posted
Posted

So, tell me again why older men are 'better'?

 

It's pretty easy to get our attention. All you have to do is kick our walker or tug on our colostomy bag.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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What I want to know is why some women get so bent out of shape over older men dating younger women. If both people are happy why do you care? It has nothing to do with you. It's like people who get all angry over interracial relationships. Adults have the right to date whoever they want as long as the other person is willing. Why is this such a sore spot? Worry about your life.

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Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
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Good post

 

It goes back to the same things, though...Biology...Men are biologically attracted to the look of a younger female and women are biologically attracted to a mans capability to provide them with the security they need to nest..

I have never been attracted to a mans capability to provide me to nest and all of that, I am attracted by a chemical physical attraction along with wit, smarts and a compelling personality and admirable values. I am really really sure I am not the only girl like me!!
Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted
What I want to know is why some women get so bent out of shape over older men dating younger women.
I am not bent out of shape about that at all ever, but we do read stuff on this place that say things like women lose our "marketability" and older women need to take whatever they can get manwise and I think that is where a lot of this is coming from don't you??:confused::confused:
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GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

Posted
Posted
I am not bent out of shape about that at all ever, but we do read stuff on this place that say things like women lose our "marketability" and older women need to take whatever they can get manwise and I think that is where a lot of this is coming from don't you??:confused::confused:

 

Don't believe any of that crap for a second. Older women are fantastic. If God forbid something happened to my wife or my marriage, I wouldn't be giving younger women a second glance.

  • Like 2
RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
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It's pretty easy to get our attention. All you have to do is kick our walker or tug on our colostomy bag.

 

 

ok, that's funny.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
I have never been attracted to a mans capability to provide me to nest and all of that, I am attracted by a chemical physical attraction along with wit, smarts and a compelling personality and admirable values. I am really really sure I am not the only girl like me!!

 

Fantasy Land talk,..

 

 

When the bills are due and your guy with the wit and compelling personality cant get out of his own way, while all your girlfriends and female relatives are living in nice houses, then talk to me..

 

 

Just like guys and their subliminal attraction for body type , most women want this, yet they may never even be aware of it.....I didn't come up with this theory...its been studied and documented by researchers eons ago...

 

TFY

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
Regarding the points you made above... Well, maybe you are one of those deluded old guys who think that every time a woman is nice to them, that they are getting hit on.

 

 

I get it that lots of men naturally spin their perception of women's behavior as sexual... when it isn't. That's the point of this thread. How lots of men delude themselves.

 

 

... and even when they may not be deluding themselves... way too many hold themselves to a different or non-existent standard of behavior based on not giving a shyte about the other person and her needs... as illustrated more than a few times just on this thread alone.

 

 

So, tell me again why older men are 'better'?

 

Yeah..,maybe....:laugh:

 

TFY

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

For the women I have known who dated older men besides the gold digging which is another story it is because these guys seems more worldy and mature. They have lived life and they are also smarter. They are men instead of boys. Also many women do like alphas and there are very few alphas amongst gen y men. It's a very neutered generation.

  • Like 1
Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted
Fantasy Land talk,..

 

 

When the bills are due and your guy with the wit and compelling personality cant get out of his own way, while all your girlfriends and female relatives are living in nice houses, then talk to me..

it's really rude of you to discount my personal experience, I promise you I don't care about a "nice house" and I'm not going to ever, I guess the family I was raised in has different values than you do, that's ok, but I'm not suddenly going to go after an old rich guy and ditch my love so I can get a house for heaven's sake!!

 

 

Just like guys and their subliminal attraction for body type , most women want this, yet they may never even be aware of it.....I didn't come up with this theory...its been studied and documented by researchers eons ago...

 

TFY

Oh you better call my parents and talk to them then!! My grand parents too, they must have missed out on these lessons and raised us all wrong!
RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted
What I want to know is why some women get so bent out of shape over older men dating younger women. If both people are happy why do you care? It has nothing to do with you. It's like people who get all angry over interracial relationships. Adults have the right to date whoever they want as long as the other person is willing. Why is this such a sore spot? Worry about your life.

 

 

I don't get bent out of shape about older men dating younger women.

 

 

I get bent out of shape about 'society' giving me and lots of other young(er) women the message that this is somehow good for me (and them)...

 

 

I get bent out of shape about 'society' giving men the message that it is ok to hit on anything that walks, regardless of age or situation (as long as they are over 18)... that they aren't obligated to develop boundaries... and that it is up to women to deal with their advances (oh, and graciously too, I might add), rather than supposedly ADULT men dealing with their life situation as the grown ups they supposedly are...

 

 

People smoke cigarettes. I don't necessarily rant about that. If the cigarette industry were still trying to sell the idea that cigarettes were health promoting or not bad for people, then damn straight... I'd say something about that too...

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
it's really rude of you to discount my personal experience, I promise you I don't care about a "nice house" and I'm not going to ever, I guess the family I was raised in has different values than you do, that's ok, but I'm not suddenly going to go after an old rich guy and ditch my love so I can get a house for heaven's sake!!

 

 

Oh you better call my parents and talk to them then!! My grand parents too, they must have missed out on these lessons and raised us all wrong!

 

Just relax...

 

 

Who said anything about going for an old and rich guy?:laugh:

 

Its a proven fact that the aspect of nesting is an important part of being an adult woman...there isn't anything wrong with it!!..Its just human nature...If you want to argue to the contrary, what can I tell you?? (shrug)

 

TFY

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted
For the women I have known who dated older men besides the gold digging which is another story it is because these guys seems more worldy and mature. They have lived life and they are also smarter. They are men instead of boys. Also many women do like alphas and there are very few alphas amongst gen y men. It's a very neutered generation.

 

 

That's interesting. All the men I've met who married/dated much younger women were usually stuck in their adolescence... emotionally stunted... trying to escape reality... control freaks... and using their money to hide that fact.

 

 

'Alphas'... pfft.

 

 

All the real 'alphas' I know are married to strong, similar age women... Real 'alphas' don't need young twinkies to prop up their egos.

  • Like 1
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted
I don't get bent out of shape about older men dating younger women.

 

 

I get bent out of shape about 'society' giving me and lots of other young(er) women the message that this is somehow good for me (and them)...

 

 

I get bent out of shape about 'society' giving men the message that it is ok to hit on anything that walks, regardless of age or situation (as long as they are over 18)... that they aren't obligated to develop boundaries... and that it is up to women to deal with their advances (oh, and graciously too, I might add), rather than supposedly ADULT men dealing with their life situation as the grown ups they supposedly are...

 

 

People smoke cigarettes. I don't necessarily rant about that. If the cigarette industry were still trying to sell the idea that cigarettes were health promoting or not bad for people, then damn straight... I'd say something about that too...

 

In our society men are expected to the approaching. There are even a number of threads and articles from women lamenting the fact that today are afraid to approach. If this is going to be the case then it is just a given that sometimes men will approach a woman who is not interested. As long as he graciously accepts a no for an answer I don't see a problem. Men can't read minds and tell ahead which women are interested and which are not.

  • Like 1
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted
That's interesting. All the men I've met who married/dated much younger women were usually stuck in their adolescence... emotionally stunted... trying to escape reality... control freaks... and using their money to hide that fact.

 

 

'Alphas'... pfft.

 

 

All the real 'alphas' I know are married to strong, similar age women... Real 'alphas' don't need young twinkies to prop up their egos.

 

I am just going by what younger women have said to me and what I have heard.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
I don't get bent out of shape about older men dating younger women.

 

 

I get bent out of shape about 'society' giving me and lots of other young(er) women the message that this is somehow good for me (and them)...

 

 

I get bent out of shape about 'society' giving men the message that it is ok to hit on anything that walks, regardless of age or situation (as long as they are over 18)... that they aren't obligated to develop boundaries... and that it is up to women to deal with their advances (oh, and graciously too, I might add), rather than supposedly ADULT men dealing with their life situation as the grown ups they supposedly are...

 

 

People smoke cigarettes. I don't necessarily rant about that. If the cigarette industry were still trying to sell the idea that cigarettes were health promoting or not bad for people, then damn straight... I'd say something about that too...

 

 

No one is saying its good for you...The way you talk, its as if there are billboards and PSA's advertising the benefits of this arrangement...its obviously not for you-great....But if its good for Donna down the street, why all the bottle hurling? Makes no sense to me or anyone else...

 

I've never hit on a woman in my entire lifetime...That's me...Others do..Women hit on men as well....its not just a one sided deal..

 

I just dont get it...I know you are intelligent - so its not that..

 

TFY

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted
I am just going by what younger women have said to me and what I have heard.

 

 

Ive heard the same things...But wait...we are all delusional in our old age...:laugh:

 

TFY

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted
Ive heard the same things...But wait...we are all delusional in our old age...:laugh:

 

TFY

 

I am actually married to an older woman so I have no real stake in this but to me it is just another attempt to shame men. I am actually an advocate of dating older women. It's a great way to avoid the perpetual GIGS of a lot of younger women.

  • Like 3
RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted (edited)
No one is saying its good for you...The way you talk, its as if there are billboards and PSA's advertising the benefits of this arrangement...

 

TFY

 

 

Actually, there are.

 

 

Most movies feature leading men that are much older than their female counterparts. That's the equivalent of a billboard and PSA.

 

 

It is very rare to see a movie featuring any man... especially over 30... who is paired with a woman that is within the 3.5 year average that reflects reality... not fantasy.

 

 

That's what I mean about women (and men) being sold a bill of goods. It happens so often, that people don't even notice. Until you do, then it's like... WTF?!

 

 

So, here, TFY... I offer you (and anyone else here) a challenge... next time you are thinking about seeing a movie, any movie, with a male/female romantic pairing, go check out their real ages on Google or IMDB. Not that you care... but if you are curious.

 

 

It annoyed my last BF a bit when he suggested 3 or 4 movies for us to go see, and the age gap of every single one was 8+ years (in favor of the guy, of course). Hell, he took his 17 year old daughter to see St. Vincent... where Bill Murray his paired up romantically with Naomi Watts. Um, great.

Edited by RedRobin
  • Like 1
StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

Posted
Posted
For the women I have known who dated older men besides the gold digging which is another story it is because these guys seems more worldy and mature. They have lived life and they are also smarter. They are men instead of boys. Also many women do like alphas and there are very few alphas amongst gen y men. It's a very neutered generation.

 

I have a few guys in their early twenties, or right out of college, that I work with from time to time. They give off a really feminine vibe, like they are gay. I don't know how else to explain it. Maybe the women of that demographic like that sort of thing, I don't know, I just know that when I was part of that peer group, guys like that were not having any success with the ladies. Not in the circles I ran in anyways.

 

Also, why don't we lay off the whole bit about movies and TV? Anyone who lives their life based on Hollywood as an example to live by could probably do a lot worse than chasing young, fresh tail. It is pretty much guaranteed that they would do so anyway, and I don't know anyone who would take them seriously if they said "Well George Clooney did it in that one movie".

  • Like 2
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

The media reinforces stereotypes and influences how people think.

So sure it is very important.

 

We do not as a society think that 50-60 year old women hitting on 20 year men is a good idea, because that is not a situation that is often seen in the media and if it is portrayed, it is often accompanied by disgust or some message that shows it is in poor taste.

But we have old male stars hitting on 20 year old females young enough to be their children/grandchildren, and no-one bats an eyelid.

 

It's incredibly unfair. You don't see a lot of 60-year-old women with 20-year-old men onscreen.

George Clooney

 

  • Like 1
GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

Posted
Posted

I don't take my cues from Hollywood, especially romantic comedies, so I can't really address that point.

 

I will say that it's one thing to attack Hollywood or "society", whatever the hell that is, and another to attack older men.

 

Like Woggle, I'm married to a woman my age so I don't have a dog in this fight, but I'm not going to attack any adults in a consensual relationship with other adults.

  • Like 3
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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