Why do so many older men think younger women want them?

[Robert Z]

A lot of women our own age are only interested in us for a car or what we can provide for them. This has nothing to do with age.

 

 

Many single men I've talked with who are my age and older are extremely leery of the motives of all women. "They just want my retirement money" is a common expression.

[autumnnight]

Many single men I've talked with who are my age and older are extremely leery of the motives of all women. "They just want my retirement money" is a common expression.

 

I've never understood women like this. All the money in the world doesn't make up for lack of love.

[loveweary11]

I've never understood women like this. All the money in the world doesn't make up for lack of love.

 

A lot of people in the world are pretty much incapable of feeling love, or at least opening up to try.

 

For these women, it maakes perfect sense.

[Gloria25]

A lot of women our own age are only interested in us for a car or what we can provide for them. This has nothing to do with age.

 

I'm sorry, but that's not all women...

 

I don't care what you drive, I'm also looking at what's behind the wheel.

 

I had an idiot start up a convo to me and point out to their vehicle and say like 'that's my ride' and I was like 'so what? who gives a f?'

 

What a guy drives is something I consider, but trust me, you can drive a sleek vehicle all day - if I don't like what's behind the wheel, Lady J ain't getting wet.

 

Same goes for his ability to earn a living, having his own stuff....I have my own home, vehicle, etc. I don't plan to have kids, so while he may make six figures, again, I'm not getting horny just cuz of that...I want "him" so if I'm not attracted to "him", he could be a millionaire and Lady J will not get wet in the least.

[seibert253]

I'm almost 50, but look 10 to 15 years younger. I'm a Personal Trainer and Group Fitness Instructor, so I take my own fitness level seriously. My XW left me for her OM in Aug 2013.

 

I live and work in a college town and I've always garnered a lot of attention from college gals at the gym. Being M'd, I never took advantage of this.

 

After my D, I to took a 2nd job as the Security Manager at a larger bar/restaurant at a large beach town. Over the summer, the age range of women I was "with", ranged from 20 to 52, with the average being 25. I've come to the conclusion there are many 20 something gals with daddy issues.

 

A couple of months after my XW moved out, I started dating a 23 year old. I once mentioned to her that I was older than her mom. She responded with that was OK, because her mom thought I was hot too. The gal I'm currently seeing is 35.

 

I'm by NOOOOO means financially stable, so its not about $$$.

[Woggle]

I'm sorry, but that's not all women...

 

I don't care what you drive, I'm also looking at what's behind the wheel.

 

I had an idiot start up a convo to me and point out to their vehicle and say like 'that's my ride' and I was like 'so what? who gives a f?'

 

What a guy drives is something I consider, but trust me, you can drive a sleek vehicle all day - if I don't like what's behind the wheel, Lady J ain't getting wet.

 

Same goes for his ability to earn a living, having his own stuff....I have my own home, vehicle, etc. I don't plan to have kids, so while he may make six figures, again, I'm not getting horny just cuz of that...I want "him" so if I'm not attracted to "him", he could be a millionaire and Lady J will not get wet in the least.

 

Of course it's not all or even most but gold digging is spread out across all age groups. Loyal women who genuinely love you are spread out across all age groups as well.

[Gloria25]

Of course it's not all or even most but gold digging is spread out across all age groups. Loyal women who genuinely love you are spread out across all age groups as well.

 

I wouldn't say "golddigging"...

 

I mean, some women's "attraction" is based on your ability to provide/protect. Like Beyonce...she did not marry Jay-Z for his looks...probably to do with the "image" that comes with being with him and his accomplishments.

[edgygirl]

Yes, really. I trust my intuition based on my life experience. No, it's not survival and reproductive advantages. Women have children pretty late in life these days, and with egg freezing, they can have children at any time.

 

I think old men chasing women half their age - it's about lack of self esteem, having to prove something to themselves, and in the case of younger women, daddy issues. If you want to believe otherwise, it's your choice

 

All these guys here saying it's all about the body... I wouldn't touch them with a 6 foot pole. And I have a perfect body by many people's view 110 lbs 5'4 34C-27-39. I never cared about someone's body, brains matter much more. And that's how I like my men too. So what people who are obsessed with looks say doesn't really matter to me, it just disgusts me.

 

The things Woggle writes - these are the things any normal woman with no daddy issues is looking for. Thanks goodness there are a few normal men out there.

 

Really?

Edited March 29, 2015 by edgygirl

[Woggle]

I wouldn't say "golddigging"...

 

I mean, some women's "attraction" is based on your ability to provide/protect. Like Beyonce...she did not marry Jay-Z for his looks...probably to do with the "image" that comes with being with him and his accomplishments.

 

I think they married each other for love. She sure doesn't need him to provide for her plus he is an older man. She seems to be one of the people in the celebrity world who has her head on straight. You never hear anything bad or trainwrecky about her and she married an older man so not all women who do this have daddy issues or just want a man's money. Amal is an accomplished lawyer who has been on an international committee to investigate war crimes yet she still married George Clooney. Plenty of normal sane people don't let age get in the way.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes, really. I trust my intuition based on my life experience. No, it's not survival and reproductive advantages. Women have children pretty late in life these days, and with egg freezing, they can have children at any time.

 

I think old men chasing women half their age - it's about lack of self esteem, having to prove something to themselves, and in the case of younger women, daddy issues. If you want to believe otherwise, it's your choice

 

All these guys here saying it's all about the body... I wouldn't touch them with a 6 foot pole. And I have a perfect body by many people's view 110 lbs 5'4 34C-27-39. I never cared about someone's body, brains matter much more. And that's how I like my men too. So what people who are obsessed with looks say doesn't really matter to me, it just disgusts me.

 

The things Woggle writes - these are the things any normal woman with no daddy issues is looking for. Thanks goodness there are a few normal men out there.

 

 

You better get yourself a longer pole then....because guys are very visual and body type is very important to just about ALL men....Its not a bad thing, in fact, its a biological thing...And the fact that you say you don't care about body type just proves my point further...Women aren't as fixated on this as men are...In fact, they (again biology) are often drawn to men with power and money(over say pecs and a six pack), because they know that esp in today's society, a 6 figure paycheck goes further in their eyes and whats important to them...the ability to provide a "nest"....

 

TFY

[elaine567]

I think what a lot of younger women tend to miss when they set their sights on older guys, is the baggage.

The ex-gfs, ex-wives, the kids, and the emotional baggage that the men have accumulated over the years.Whilst that may seem unimportant in the first stages of "love", a young inexperienced, often naive, woman is going to find it hard batting off ex wives and dealing with sometimes unhappy/troubled/disruptive children, some of which may be the same age as herself.

She may find little support in her man either, who has got used to being the centre pin of that family group and who may even treat her more like another kid, than an adult in her own right. He may also have an older man more "traditional" attitude to relationships too.

There is also the issue of her own children and many older men do not want more children and whilst at 20-25, that may not seem like a big deal, at 32 it can be a huge deal.

Being in relationships with older men can all get complicated pretty fast and IMO all aspects need thought about very carefully, before any young women decides to follow that path.

Being in a relationship with an older man, can be more of a project, than simply a love affair between two people.

[autumnnight]

When I am with a man, I have a real desire to look amazing for him (and me of course). However, I wouldn't go to lengths to BECOME something for a man who doesn't want me right now, if that makes sense. Becuase to me that just reveals character. I mean, even if my physical appearance changed drastically, all the character, talent, personality, intelligence, humor will be the same. So if all that pul an hourglass shape that is curvier than it used to be isn't enough today, right now, then I'm not interested in spending six months just making the package "good enough" for him.

 

Honestly, I don't have to. I have plenty of objectively nicely put together men who DO want me just the way I am And let's just say I never get any complaints lol

[nerd]

Recently I learned that a 72 year old man married a woman half his age. This gives me hope. After all, if Patrick Stewart can do it, why can't I?

[loveweary11]

Recently I learned that a 72 year old man married a woman half his age. This gives me hope. After all, if Patrick Stewart can do it, why can't I?

 

Bald and short too. He works out though.

[salparadise]

Yes, really. I trust my intuition based on my life experience. No, it's not survival and reproductive advantages. Women have children pretty late in life these days, and with egg freezing, they can have children at any time.

I'm talking about biological predilections encoded in the dna of every female. That's not a choice or something that changes when you pop a few eggs into the freezer.

 

I think old men chasing women half their age - it's about lack of self esteem, having to prove something to themselves, and in the case of younger women, daddy issues. If you want to believe otherwise, it's your choice

Insightful. Evidence that it's best to at least pick'em after they're old enough to read. Edited March 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed degogatory comment

[Otter2569]

Thanks Autumn!

 

Watch out, this my become my standard response to all posts going forward LOL

[Els]

My observation has been that the majority (not all, but the majority) of women who pair up with very much older men (more than twice their age) are typically doing so out of desire for money or a better life, and not out of attraction. I don't see anything wrong with this choice if both are consensual adults, but it is what it is.

 

The men who are hitting on very much younger women have seen that happen, so they believe that if someone else can do that, they can too. Some of them understand the women's reasons and don't care that they are being desired for money, and some are naive and don't realize that.

 

Either way, it doesn't usually bother me as long as the guy is polite and is able to take no for an answer.

[TheGuard13]

I think old men chasing women half their age - it's about lack of self esteem, having to prove something to themselves, and in the case of younger women, daddy issues. If you want to believe otherwise, it's your choice

It very much can be about these things on some level, and daddy issues is probably a major reason a lot of young women end up with older men, but I would imagine that most of the time for the men...it's about the men finding young women attractive and desirable, period. There have been studies. Men tend to find women the most attractive from 16-20 something or other.

[xxoo]

It very much can be about these things on some level, and daddy issues is probably a major reason a lot of young women end up with older men, but I would imagine that most of the time for the men...it's about the men finding young women attractive and desirable, period. There have been studies. Men tend to find women the most attractive from 16-20 something or other.

 

There's base appreciation for form, and then there is attraction to a person on the whole as a partner.

 

Women, too, may find a 20 year old male to be the ideal in beauty and form, but relationships are far more complicated than that for most of us (men and women). Hence 20 year old women who date older men.

[thefooloftheyear]

My observation has been that the majority (not all, but the majority) of women who pair up with very much older men (more than twice their age) are typically doing so out of desire for money or a better life, and not out of attraction. I don't see anything wrong with this choice if both are consensual adults, but it is what it is.

 

The men who are hitting on very much younger women have seen that happen, so they believe that if someone else can do that, they can too. Some of them understand the women's reasons and don't care that they are being desired for money, and some are naive and don't realize that.

 

Either way, it doesn't usually bother me as long as the guy is polite and is able to take no for an answer.

 

Good post

 

It goes back to the same things, though...Biology...Men are biologically attracted to the look of a younger female and women are biologically attracted to a mans capability to provide them with the security they need to nest..So these things meet in the middle, and you wind up with these types of unions...

 

Think of it this way...

 

There are a lot of successful and intelligent men with attractive and unmotivated(dumb?) women that may have that very attractive look/body...and they are willing to overlook the fact that she brings little else to the table, because that part of it is enough to satisfy a lot of men...

 

Now, take a good looking guy that's a loser, sit at home pot smoking dope that cant hold down a job...Women who have their shyt together aren't going to be able to look past the fact that the guy is a loser and be happy that he has cute dimples and is taller than 6'...She'll eventually show him the door..Its not enough...

 

Im not saying this pertains to me, you, or anyone else..Just that its interesting how these things play out...Its not always that the person is dysfunctional..They are just satisfying their core needs in any way they can..

 

TFY

[carhill]

Oh, another potential reason.... we old farts sometimes forget that we're old until we look into the mirror. IOW, in our brain, at the level which views and covets, those young women we think want us, for those of us who think that, are the same young women (as a demographic) we thought wanted us when we were 20 or whatever age 'young' is.

[Anela]

Recently I learned that a 72 year old man married a woman half his age. This gives me hope. After all, if Patrick Stewart can do it, why can't I?

 

I learned of a 60 year old woman who did the same.

[NGC1300]

They are wrinkly, losing their hair.

 

People age.

 

Using your logic you'll be trying to score 20-something men when you're 60.

[Vercetti]

Wait a sec. So women don't care that much about how a man looks, then they wonder why older men think they can have younger women. Least that's some of the fuzzy logic and statements encountered here.

 

Anyhow people are people and can all be different. Personally when I was single for a month at 35 younger girls were completely off my radar. Why deal with girls in school or with roommates that have little mature connections or ties to community. I did not establish myself simply to regress cause someone was born after 1990. Don't like younger, don't like peers, so older. What can get and what want, two different things. Takes more then being born late to impress me.

 

On topic, yeah my perspective many women do want older men. Given my likes had to contend with guys decades older then myself...good thing those decade older men enjoy mismanagement of finiances to fund youthful stupidity. Girl in school or woman that got out of college when I was playing Nintendo...hard call there. Hah so young girls can get older men that want to pay them like an street walker.....real flattering of both parties.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Do men really notice hip:waist ratio? I always felt that it wasn't really a thing that men noticed.

 

 

 

LOL - what in the world???

 

Phoe, that is a hard-wired element of grand appeal, whether spoken about at the water cooler, or not (point being that many males might not be aware of the major significance of that appeal).

 

 

So yes, it is without question that men really notice waist-to-hip ratio... (even though, say, nobody ever does a report on the subject in 5th grade, or in grad school)