Why do so many older men think younger women want them?

[autumnnight]

LOL - what in the world???

 

Phoe, that is a hard-wired element of grand appeal, whether spoken about at the water cooler, or not (point being that many males might not be aware of the major significance of that appeal).

 

 

So yes, it is without question that men really notice waist-to-hip ratio... (even though, say, nobody ever does a report on the subject in 5th grade, or in grad school)

 

If you study anthropology, apparently this has to do with perceived fertility. And just look at Marylin Monroe. She's still an icon, and most people don't even remember what "Twiggy" looked like

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Why do so many older men think younger women want them?

 

 

I find that most men have this odd believe that they are studs to young women.

 

 

How come exactly nothing in your O.P. made any reference to older men thinking that younger women want them??

 

 

You even referenced porn - do you think that anybody watching some random 20-year-old girl in porn gives a darn who (or what) she wants? Is that what you think is the core draw to porn?

 

(I guess it merits mention that twenty-five is old for porn )

 

 

Twenty-five-year-old women are dotted all around society, and most older men just pass them like ships in the night, occasionally noticing when they wear their C.F.M. attire when flitting about. And almost zero of those men ever give two thoughts of concern about whether or not those twenty-five-year-old women "want them" somehow.

 

"Most Men" (who pass you, everyday on the streets) do not give {a darn} or {a second thought} about you. ('Most' means 51 or more out of every 100 - when in reality there are perhaps about 8 in any 100 who would give you a second thought)

 

Now what on earth would cause you to see otherwise??

[Phoe]

LOL - what in the world???

 

Phoe, that is a hard-wired element of grand appeal, whether spoken about at the water cooler, or not (point being that many males might not be aware of the major significance of that appeal).

 

 

So yes, it is without question that men really notice waist-to-hip ratio... (even though, say, nobody ever does a report on the subject in 5th grade, or in grad school)

 

If you study anthropology, apparently this has to do with perceived fertility. And just look at Marylin Monroe. She's still an icon, and most people don't even remember what "Twiggy" looked like

 

Darn, I think I worded my question incorrectly...

 

I do know that men notice hips. They notice a curve.

 

What I question is whether they notice the actual ratio. Because I just don't really think that is a thing!

 

Are they comparing girls and noticing if one has a larger ratio than the next?

 

I figure as long as a girl has hips, whatever the actual ratio is, is largely irrelevant.

 

Because I actually have a pretty dramatic ratio, but it's never been noticed. It's always just been an inconvenience when I wanna put pants on. I figured if men really were into the actual ratio, I would've heard something!

 

But idk, all in all I don't really know much...

 

Funny coincidence though, I actually have a degree in anthropology and archaeology!

[xxoo]

Yes, they notice the ratio intuitively. I think 0.7 is considered "ideal" by those who research this sort of thing.

[Phoe]

Yes, they notice the ratio intuitively. I think 0.7 is considered "ideal" by those who research this sort of thing.

 

How does one even do the math on that?

 

There's no way that men can intuitively take measurements on a woman's waist and hips, do the math in his head, and come up with a ratio to determine fertility and attractiveness.

 

Men, do you really come up with numbers? What about the men who really are not mathematically inclined?

 

Can men tell how many inches a woman's hips are just by looking?

 

This seems really far-fetched...

[xxoo]

How does one even do the math on that?

 

There's no way that men can intuitively take measurements on a woman's waist and hips, do the math in his head, and come up with a ratio to determine fertility and attractiveness.

 

Men, do you really come up with numbers? What about the men who really are not mathematically inclined?

 

Can men tell how many inches a woman's hips are just by looking?

 

This seems really far-fetched...

 

Researchers provide different silhouettes with different ratios.

 

Men consistently prefer the 0.7 over higher and lower, without ever knowing the numbers. It's just what they like.

[Phoe]

Researchers provide different silhouettes with different ratios.

 

Men consistently prefer the 0.7 over higher and lower, without ever knowing the numbers. It's just what they like.

 

Huh. Weird, but I guess I haven't a clue how the male brain works. Very interesting to say the least.

 

If it's a simple fraction, I'm a .65, so, close enough? lol.

[carhill]

Regarding the male optical measuring tape, we guys in the trades can measure jobs with our eyes and are generally spot-on. I do the same in the shop and I've got a laser and micrometers to verify. It's a 'feel'. The waist to hip ratio is nothing for us, to measure with our eyes. It's second nature. The problem comes in when we are oblivious to our own ratios and think that shapely young lady is ogling us like we're ogling them. Heh....

[edgygirl]

Here: Waist to Hip Ratio Calculator

 

Yay me: "You have a Waist to Hip Ratio of 0.71"

 

Men don't have to do it. It's instinctual and follows evolution apparently:

 

Waist?hip ratio - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

How does one even do the math on that?

 

There's no way that men can intuitively take measurements on a woman's waist and hips, do the math in his head, and come up with a ratio to determine fertility and attractiveness.

 

Men, do you really come up with numbers? What about the men who really are not mathematically inclined?

 

Can men tell how many inches a woman's hips are just by looking?

 

This seems really far-fetched...

[autumnnight]

I don't think getting hung up on math is really the point. Bottom line, men want a woman who is shaped like a woman. A beach ball isn't shaped like a woman. Neither is someone with a prepubescent boy's figure. Though apparently anorexia is becoming more attractive to some younger men.

 

Basically, like it or not, sorry Gloria Steinem....feminity is what attracts most men.

[carhill]

IDK, I could easily tell (clothes on) when my exW gained some inches due to 'water' during particular parts of her period. I generally used this information to stay out of her way!

[Phoe]

I don't think getting hung up on math is really the point. Bottom line, men want a woman who is shaped like a woman. A beach ball isn't shaped like a woman. Neither is someone with a prepubescent boy's figure. Though apparently anorexia is becoming more attractive to some younger men.

 

Basically, like it or not, sorry Gloria Steinem....feminity is what attracts most men.

 

That's what I was trying to say!

 

That I doubt men are comparing numbers between women's hips, but that they're simply noticing hips.

 

But then people posted saying that yes, they actually DO notice a specific ratio. That it's more than "yep. she has hips."

 

But apparently there are specific ratios that men will like more than others, and they can actually tell! Which astounds me... I sure wouldn't ever notice such a thing!

[Hawaii51]

Thankfully, Mothernature has math tuned so tight I know a nice fertile ass when I see one.

[xxoo]

It's not about the number. It's proportion that can be observed with the eye. Just like we don't need a tape measure to see if someone has a long or short torso in proportion to their legs, we can observe proportional waist to hip ratio on women,and shoulder to waist ratio on men.

[RedRobin]

I think what bugs a lot of women is not necessarily the idea that some men TRY to get younger women, but it's the sense of entitlement that goes along with it...

 

 

... that, and the fact that so many men seem to have zero concept of boundaries and, well, empathy. Being in a field of all men, I've had at least three professors and two bosses hit on me (all much older)... not to mention my much older chiropractor when I was 19 who had seen me nearly naked since I was 15 (gross!!).

 

 

The reason why there are vastly more male pedophiles and serial killers than women... It's not about sex to lots of these guys... it's about power and they only get that from women they feel superior to in some way. There was a time when I blamed myself for that attention, but not anymore. Society condones a lot of it, and these men get back slapped for picking up the youngest piece of *ss they can find to go along with it. That has to stop.

 

 

... and no, I don't think they do it because it 'works' sometimes... I think they do it because they aren't thinking at all... famous last words for lots of men...

 

 

"Watch this!"

 

 

As for me, I refuse to go to movies that feature much older leading men with a much younger woman as something 'normal'... The average age gap IS only a few years... not the 10+ years that Hollywood promotes by guess who? Male writers and directors.

 

 

I am happy to see lots more women in Hollywood letting their faces age naturally or at least using a light touch with the plastic surgery...

 

 

... as far as Madonna goes... I'm sure she is reacting to the fact that she is treated like cr*p for being 50 something and still rocking... yet people like Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp are the same age and making movies that hide or don't project their real age... but Tom and Johnny aren't fooling me. I don't think they need to feel bad about their age... but for crissakes, don't try to pass yourself off as a 30 something.

[RedRobin]

As far as OLD goes...

 

 

They have email filters that screen out people you don't want. I screen out smokers and a few others too... after 30 days, the email box automatically deletes those emails, so no need to even look at those emails...

Every once in awhile, I'll take a peek in that folder... yea, I've got a couple from guys who are a lot older and a lot younger too... Neither is what I'm looking for, so in the junk mail folder it goes... easy peezy.

 

 

Anyway, I wouldn't take it personally, ladies, when those guys email you. Cast net fishing is all they are doing. Do what I do and set your folders up so that you don't even have to be bothered with them.

[thefooloftheyear]

I think what bugs a lot of women is not necessarily the idea that some men TRY to get younger women, but it's the sense of entitlement that goes along with it...

 

 

... that, and the fact that so many men seem to have zero concept of boundaries and, well, empathy. Being in a field of all men, I've had at least three professors and two bosses hit on me (all much older)... not to mention my much older chiropractor when I was 19 who had seen me nearly naked since I was 15 (gross!!).

 

 

The reason why there are vastly more male pedophiles and serial killers than women... It's not about sex to lots of these guys... it's about power and they only get that from women they feel superior to in some way. There was a time when I blamed myself for that attention, but not anymore. Society condones a lot of it, and these men get back slapped for picking up the youngest piece of *ss they can find to go along with it. That has to stop.

 

 

... and no, I don't think they do it because it 'works' sometimes... I think they do it because they aren't thinking at all... famous last words for lots of men...

 

 

"Watch this!"

 

 

As for me, I refuse to go to movies that feature much older leading men with a much younger woman as something 'normal'... The average age gap IS only a few years... not the 10+ years that Hollywood promotes by guess who? Male writers and directors.

 

 

I am happy to see lots more women in Hollywood letting their faces age naturally or at least using a light touch with the plastic surgery...

 

 

... as far as Madonna goes... I'm sure she is reacting to the fact that she is treated like cr*p for being 50 something and still rocking... yet people like Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp are the same age and making movies that hide or don't project their real age... but Tom and Johnny aren't fooling me. I don't think they need to feel bad about their age... but for crissakes, don't try to pass yourself off as a 30 something.

 

Not totally disagreeing with everything you are saying, but what of the women who willfully and happily pursue this type of relationship...??

 

While its not something that I particularly think works well., I personally think this is a trend that will gain steam...Primarily due to the fact that there is a severe shortage of serious and strong younger men...Its about as bad as ever..So, I think you are going to see more and more of these younger women pulling higher quality older men..because they arent gonna go for the fat and bald dumbass with the shytty career..

 

And I think this is why the older women bottle throw and shame at the mere mention of these relationships...Despite the fact that there are many of these that go along successfully as any other, they crap on every one of them...Its killing their already thin pool of quality guys...

 

TFY

Edited March 30, 2015 by thefooloftheyear

[MrNate 2.0]

Thankfully, Mothernature has math tuned so tight I know a nice fertile ass when I see one.

 

Yep.

 

I know a nice ass when I see one.

[Anela]

Not totally disagreeing with everything you are saying, but what of the women who willfully and happily pursue this type of relationship...??

 

While its not something that I particularly think works well., I personally think this is a trend that will gain steam...Primarily due to the fact that there is a severe shortage of serious and strong younger men...Its about as bad as ever..So, I think you are going to see more and more of these younger women pulling higher quality older men..because they arent gonna go for the fat and bald dumbass with the shytty career..

 

And I think this is why the older women bottle throw and shame at the mere mention of these relationships...Despite the fact that there are many of these that go along successfully as any other, they crap on every one of them...Its killing their already thin pool of quality guys...

 

TFY

 

Actually, I have friends who are happily involved with younger men. Good quality, decent, loving, strong men. One just gave birth to their second child. When she met him, she thought it would be a one-night stand, and he's the one who pushed for more. No Mrs Robinson fetish, just to have a bit of fun - he's in love with her, and they've been together for maybe eight years now.

 

Anyway, these threads remind me: as much as I loathe the insults that are popular towards any woman over 35, or even 30 with some - we're the ones dodging the bullets.

[thefooloftheyear]

Actually, I have friends who are happily involved with younger men. Good quality, decent, loving, strong men. One just gave birth to their second child. When she met him, she thought it would be a one-night stand, and he's the one who pushed for more. No Mrs Robinson fetish, just to have a bit of fun - he's in love with her, and they've been together for maybe eight years now.

 

Anyway, these threads remind me: as much as I loathe the insults that are popular towards any woman over 35, or even 30 with some - we're the ones dodging the bullets.

 

Good for them....(shrug)...I know a gay couple that's happily married as well..

 

But if you don't believe what I am saying, then just peruse the threads on this very site where there are young women constantly complaining about younger guys being too immature, too irresponsible, and not commitment minded, etc..

 

And as far as insults go, you cant see someone older with a younger woman and get insulted...That's their deal, for whatever reason..As long as they aren't pissing in your Cheerios, then there is no reason to feel insulted or slighted by it...Life isn't always laid out the way we want and nothing is ever really "equal"...You do the best you can and accept the hand you are dealt...

 

TFY

[RedRobin]

Not totally disagreeing with everything you are saying, but what of the women who willfully and happily pursue this type of relationship...??

 

 

Those women are in the extreme minority... and not in the numbers that these optimistic older men would like to imagine. I think that is what the women here are complaining about... that these men's beliefs are irrational and annoying.

 

 

I also believe that society for the most part doesn't give a shyte about women's emotional health... up to and including shipping them off to older men whose only real value to them (long term) might be financial. We are still treated as commodities.

 

While its not something that I particularly think works well., I personally think this is a trend that will gain steam...Primarily due to the fact that there is a severe shortage of serious and strong younger men...Its about as bad as ever..So, I think you are going to see more and more of these younger women pulling higher quality older men..because they arent gonna go for the fat and bald dumbass with the shytty career..

 

 

I think there is a shortage of serious and strong younger people of either gender.

 

 

Also, I think you'll find that younger women with their acts together these days don't look to men to be their 'providers' and are looking for men to be partners... not cash cows, so your assumption that they are necessarily looking for the workaholic older men doesn't hold true.

 

 

I don't consider men who date/marry much younger women to be 'quality' anyway... but I can see why you'd say that.

 

And I think this is why the older women bottle throw and shame at the mere mention of these relationships...Despite the fact that there are many of these that go along successfully as any other, they crap on every one of them...Its killing their already thin pool of quality guys...

 

TFY

 

 

Oh, here we go again... older men are automatically considered 'quality'... why exactly? Because they are older? yes, yes, that is the cr*p women are fed starting at a fairly young age. Who does it benefit? Not women, that's for sure. Unless you are talking financially, and I'm dubious about that these days, what with prenups and all that.

 

 

If they are treating much younger women as sexual objects, by definition, they can't possibly be 'quality'... It's only our social constructs that have allowed/encouraged women to be bartered off and brainwashed into thinking it's an ok arrangement for them.

 

 

Sure, maybe it made sense once upon a time when all the youngest men were shipped off to war or whatever and women had to accept what was left, but that's not the case anymore.

[RedRobin]

That wasn't the point. The point was that there is a difference between wanting a relationship and essential physical attraction.

 

 

Chasing young women is one thing. But to deny that the fundamental attraction exists for almost all men was be fallacious. And as evidence I offer several million nudey calendars found in male-dominated shops all over the country. The next bit of evidence is internet porn, which is popular with older men as well as younger men.

 

 

I think if the world constantly told women it was not only ok, but preferable to hook up with men young enough to be their children, you'd see women doing the same.

 

 

You'd see women doing the same if the world told them that men have no intrinsic value other than their looks, and that they were there mostly to service women in whatever way those women saw fit. If women controlled most of the world's resources, they could afford to treat men just as disposably as lots of men treat women.

 

 

Your examples are built on a culture that routinely diminishes women's value as human beings. Plain and simple. It isn't biology at all. Except maybe some men's biological lack of empathy. There IS a gene for that, apparently.

 

 

The fact that so many men (even on this thread) don't give a cr*p about the feelings and boundaries of the relative children they chase is a perfect example.

[thefooloftheyear]

Those women are in the extreme minority... and not in the numbers that these optimistic older men would like to imagine. I think that is what the women here are complaining about... that these men's beliefs are irrational and annoying.

 

If an idiot like me can be fairly regularly hit on by sub 30 year old women(and I am completely off the grid), then I highly doubt your claims of "extreme minority" hold.....I'm OK, but I am not that special..

 

I also believe that society for the most part doesn't give a shyte about women's emotional health... up to and including shipping them off to older men whose only real value to them (long term) might be financial. We are still treated as commodities.

 

 

I dunno...,I think you are being dramatic...Its not as bad as you say,,,Ive never treated a woman as a commodity and I care very much for all people in general...But Ill accept that I cant speak for everyone...

 

 

 

I think there is a shortage of serious and strong younger people of either gender.

 

Agreed, but women are killing the men....Prob 5 good women to one good guy..among the youngsters..

Also, I think you'll find that younger women with their acts together these days don't look to men to be their 'providers' and are looking for men to be partners... not cash cows, so your assumption that they are necessarily looking for the workaholic older men doesn't hold true.

 

I never said workaholic, but if you think because women earn that they'll settle for a lazy, weenie type of guy with a shytty career you are dreaming...

 

I don't consider men who date/marry much younger women to be 'quality' anyway... but I can see why you'd say that.

 

Quality people exist in all forms and at all ages....Even though I don't think it's for me, I wouldn't immediately label each person of a younger/older pairing as damaged goods or dysfunctional just based on that....that's just sillyness.

 

 

 

Oh, here we go again... older men are automatically considered 'quality'... why exactly? Because they are older? yes, yes, that is the cr*p women are fed starting at a fairly young age. Who does it benefit? Not women, that's for sure. Unless you are talking financially, and I'm dubious about that these days, what with prenups and all that.

 

Who said all older men are automatically considered quality? I certainly didn't...There are quality older men and there are older aszholes...Same for women..

 

If they are treating much younger women as sexual objects, by definition, they can't possibly be 'quality'... It's only our social constructs that have allowed/encouraged women to be bartered off and brainwashed into thinking it's an ok arrangement for them.

 

Why does it have to be "sexualized" just because of this dynamic??...Thats your own characterization...And that's fine....but note that its your opinion..I don't happen to agree in every case, but so be it..

 

 

Sure, maybe it made sense once upon a time when all the youngest men were shipped off to war or whatever and women had to accept what was left, but that's not the case anymore.

 

You can have a strong opinion about it, and that's fine...Just try not to typecast everyone...Heck, there are people failing miserably and can't get out of their own way when they do everything "right"...

 

There are no guarantees..as you know...

 

TFY

[Els]

 

Im not saying this pertains to me, you, or anyone else..Just that its interesting how these things play out...Its not always that the person is dysfunctional..They are just satisfying their core needs in any way they can..

 

Yeah, I agree that they aren't necessarily dysfunctional. IMO choosing someone primarily based on money isn't any better or worse than choosing someone primarily based on their looks. Personally, I think that both of the above are a bad idea if one is desiring a happy LTR - it's natural for career and looks to play a part, sure, but it should be a small slice each, not the majority/entirety of the pie. Then again, that is based on my definition of a happy LTR, and if someone else's definition of a happy LTR is just being with a rich/hot person, who am I to tell them no?

 

But I also do think it's sad that some men who are with women less than half their age are naive enough to deny that money is likely to be a big factor. It's fine if they accept this and decide that it's not a problem for them, but it's the denial that makes me facepalm.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Darn, I think I worded my question incorrectly...

 

I do know that men notice hips. They notice a curve.

 

What I question is whether they notice the actual ratio. Because I just don't really think that is a thing!

 

Are they comparing girls and noticing if one has a larger ratio than the next?

 

I figure as long as a girl has hips, whatever the actual ratio is, is largely irrelevant.

 

Because I actually have a pretty dramatic ratio, but it's never been noticed. It's always just been an inconvenience when I wanna put pants on. I figured if men really were into the actual ratio, I would've heard something!

 

But idk, all in all I don't really know much...

 

Funny coincidence though, I actually have a degree in anthropology and archaeology!

 

 

OK, if, say, we were sitting at a baseball game... deep into our batting averages and slugging percentages, and pick-off attempts, and ERA (no, not the Equal Rights Amendment)... and Phoe walked by...

 

We would NOT, quickly, calculate and update her waist-to-hip ratio to account for the hot dog she had along with her tub of popcorn (in the way they do with batting averages from inning to inning).

 

However... a "dramatic" waist-to-hip ratio right near the wheelhouse of .70 is bound to get our attention and, well, take our minds off of baseball for a short time - (the time it takes Phoe to disappear over the horizon)

 

In the absence of being able to sit near to your cubicle and/or work station every day... when you tell of your 40-inch hips... my mind immediately pondered/imagined/contemplated the chance that your mentioned small waist is somewhere near to the (relatively) ideal-seeming "28".

 

For it is a distant joy to at least continue to recognize your exceptional appeal even if you so helplessly continue to be unable to recognize the magnitude of it yourself.

 

 

It should be mentioned/perceived that because of millions of years of (watching the likes of Phoe approach the horizon) the effects of calculating those waist-to-hip ratios (and their appeal) as the day wears on, is rather instinctive...

 

... AND the nearer they are to " .70" ... the more lust-inducing the wearer tends to be (all other things being equal).