Is there a double standard in terms of a man's salary & a woman's salary in dating?

[autumnnight]

Nor does it make them any less false. The women in this thread have done a good job of explaining why they and other women would look for men on similar salaries, or why women would choose men according to social status. Read their posts. As I said earlier who women want to marry is their business but the idea that any woman who has these ideas on status will marry a plumber is nonsense.

 

I don't care about salary. I care about work ethic. I man who works hard, does more than his employer asks, and does his best but makes less than me is fine. A rich man who sits on his butt on his yacht all day bossing people around is not - wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. A man who would work at McDonald's rather than be unemployed is a hero. A man who plays computer games for a year waiting for a job that is not "beneath him" is, IMO, a bum.

[NJ123]

I don't care about salary. I care about work ethic. I man who works hard, does more than his employer asks, and does his best but makes less than me is fine. A rich man who sits on his butt on his yacht all day bossing people around is not - wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. A man who would work at McDonald's rather than be unemployed is a hero. A man who plays computer games for a year waiting for a job that is not "beneath him" is, IMO, a bum.

 

So you genuinely would not care to be with a man that doesn't have a good job, just as long as he's happy there? If let's say their making $9 an hour, but love what they do, you'd have no problems with that?

[Ethan78]

I don't care about salary. I care about work ethic. I man who works hard, does more than his employer asks, and does his best but makes less than me is fine. A rich man who sits on his butt on his yacht all day bossing people around is not - wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. A man who would work at McDonald's rather than be unemployed is a hero. A man who plays computer games for a year waiting for a job that is not "beneath him" is, IMO, a bum.

 

That's fine. As I said earlier in the thread I am not talking about all women.

 

But it is interesting where people have used the word "beneath" elsewhere on this forum. I find it quite a nasty word, but the most of us live in some class system so it shouldn't be a surprise.

[Macattack]

Everyone likes to have nice things, go on good holidays and live in lovely places.

If having a partner can double the incomings or more than double the incomings to that household, then all well and good. Male or female high earners will always be sought after.

 

As for women.

Women not only think of themselves when choosing a long term partner, they also think of kids, so securing a man that is capable of providing for kids is important to a lot of women. She, then with kids, a house, and security in mind, is always going to try and seek out a man with a good earning potential. That is a pragmatic approach.

 

Women also like a good connection with a man, so a man that is on a par with where she is in life is good. ie similar education, similar life style, similar expectations. If she has been highly educated she wants a man who has been highly educated and with education usually comes a bigger salary. Men still make significantly more than women for similar occupations.

As she is unlikely to settle for less, her "equal"(in real terms) will most likely be paid a better salary just because he is a man.

 

It seems to me that men are all so holier than though when it comes to judging women on their earning potential.

"We don't judge, it doesn't matter how much she earns."

Some men do seem to want that lowly woman who they can lord it over or who they can rescue or who they can look after.

But mention single mothers, benefits, SAHM or women down on their luck and most men it seems here, want to flee for the hills.

 

I don't need nice things and go on vacation. Those things don't make people happy, it's only temporary happiness at best, it's like a drug addict getting another hit.

[NJ123]

I don't need nice things and go on vacation. Those things don't make people happy, it's only temporary happiness at best, it's like a drug addict getting another hit.

 

I think women care more about vacations & traveling than guys do.

[Macattack]

So many? Honestly, until I came to LS I had never encountered a single man who continually obsessed over money, height, gold-diggers, women secretly getting off the pil, blah blah etc etc

 

You haven't lived in Toronto.

 

Erin Wotherspoon Serial Dating For Free Restaurant Meals

[DukeNukem47]

And....

THEY are not you, why are you concerned about them?

 

I am worried about people that are afraid of sharks, some of these folk ruin perfectly good beach holidays because they are afraid to go into the water... I am scared it is going to happen to me...

How will I cope?

I would hate to be that person who is afraid of sharks.

Will I turn into a shark hater?

Will I become obsessed with sharks?

Will I try to do something that will destroy my life?...

 

It's called the butterfly effect.

 

I am concerned about how most women think and act because, if they are all feminist man-haters, I will have less dating options. If they are all looking for tall men, I will have less dating options. If they cheat and they are friends with whoever I end up marrying, they may encourage her to cheat.

 

People certainly do have an effect on other people and can certainly impact my life.

[Macattack]

It gets worse in South Korea.

 

?The man must buy the house? Men Protest Marriage Burden ? koreaBANG

[DukeNukem47]

It gets worse in South Korea.

 

?The man must buy the house? Men Protest Marriage Burden ? koreaBANG

 

Even more so in Japan: Herbivore men - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

This is my prediction of where the dating situation is heading in the west.

[Macattack]

I think women care more about vacations & traveling than guys do.

 

You forgot nice things.

[Selfish]

I think women care more about vacations & traveling than guys do.

 

You guys are so blinded by your prejudices. I know tons of guys who love going to the carribean and vegas. My dad is a travel maniac and my mom prefers being at home... All the time.

 

And then the "nice things"

 

Sure "some" women love knick knacks, shoes and nice clothes. And guess what. So do some guys with their name brands. Or expensive sports or gaming. Oh and cars? Yeah lots of guys are into cars.

 

Seriously though, by hating on and judging women you are not exactly an appealing party or even dateable to a decent girl. Which is probably a good thing!

 

I got friend zoned quite often when I was young. For one big reason.

 

I was a late bloomer and not hot. And I got that. Most guys my age or older didn't want to date someone who looked too young to be dating.

 

And I didn't get bitter over it. Because eventually I looked old enough to date. And then I got out asked out a whole lot more.

[NJ123]

You guys are so blinded by your prejudices. I know tons of guys who love going to the carribean and vegas. My dad is a travel maniac and my mom prefers being at home... All the time.

 

And then the "nice things"

 

Sure "some" women love knick knacks, shoes and nice clothes. And guess what. So do some guys with their name brands. Or expensive sports or gaming. Oh and cars? Yeah lots of guys are into cars.

 

Seriously though, by hating on and judging women you are not exactly an appealing party or even dateable to a decent girl. Which is probably a good thing!

 

I got friend zoned quite often when I was young. For one big reason.

 

I was a late bloomer and not hot. And I got that. Most guys my age or older didn't want to date someone who looked too young to be dating.

 

And I didn't get bitter over it. Because eventually I looked old enough to date. And then I got out asked out a whole lot more.

 

I don't hate women at all. I'm just pointing out that women prefer to travel more so than men. Women are always posting pics of their vacations on Facebook constantly.

[Selfish]

I don't hate women at all. I'm just pointing out that women prefer to travel more so than men. Women are always posting pics of their vacations on Facebook constantly.

 

What women do do more is post on fb. You are right about that.

 

(as a note my husband posts vacations pics more than me. When I'm on vacation I couldn't be bothered... when I'm home, well with all the unpacking and laundry I don't have time to post pics. And then it is just old news after that)

 

also I didn't say hate women. I said "hate on". by having all these judgements and prejudices and post after post.

[DukeNukem47]

I wouldn't care that much about his salary as I do about how he uses his money. If he's greedy to the point of serving me his scraps from yesterday I'm gone. If he spends too much or even "plays around" with it through gambling and betting, I'm out too.

 

Right now money doesn't matter that much for me but it will in the future, no doubt about that. My salary after studying medicine will be pretty high to enormously high (depending on what career I'll choose, a plastic surgeon will of course earn a lot more than your regular city clinic internist) and there are male gold diggers too out there.

 

I'm in medicine too. I hope you're planning on freezing those eggs (especially if you plan on being a surgeon). Many of my female colleagues had difficulties getting pregnant due to their age after they finished residency.

[DukeNukem47]

I think women care more about vacations & traveling than guys do.

 

I agree with this. Most of the women that I know are constantly spending. Constantly shopping, wine tasting, spending $50 on meals just for themselves, buying luxury cars.

 

Many of my male friends do this to a degree just to impress women (though, they will never admit that, it's obvious).

[Phoe]

I agree with this. Most of the women that I know are constantly spending. Constantly shopping, wine tasting, spending $50 on meals just for themselves, buying luxury cars.

 

Many of my male friends do this to a degree just to impress women (though, they will never admit that, it's obvious).

 

I personally am not a spender at all.

 

I am a minimalist and live simply. I don't buy things I don't need and don't buy things that aren't exceptionally useful. I am VERY particular and picky about deciding whether or not to buy something.

 

I own very little. Barring my bed, everything I own could be packed up in my vehicle and I could take off. It's very "freeing" so to speak, living without many things. I am not tied down to possessions.

 

"Things" need to be maintained. They need to be stored, organized, kept clean and safe, they are worried over, they cause guilt over money spent, they collect dust. They add nothing positive to life!

[insert_name]

Women may not only want some elevation of status for themselves but most want to elevate any children they may have too.

Professional careers are seen as cleaner, less arduous and usually provide more comfortable lives. Marrying a professional man means her children will have a better social standing right away. They will most likely be better educated, they will have an opportunity to meet the "right" people and if they do not screw up, are more likely to be successful in their chosen career.

So that choice whether she plumps for mechanic or prosecutor, can impact on many lives not just her own.

 

All that needs to happen now is for a woman to tell the mechanic "its the guy in the mirrors fault!!!1" and this thread will be complete.

[Selfish]

All that needs to happen now is for a woman to tell the mechanic "its the guy in the mirrors fault!!!1" and this thread will be complete.

 

Where I live heavy duty mechanics, plumbers and gas fitters make a lot of money. Maybe not executive bucks but more than even lower management. And most of them are married or dating. So I think maybe demographics play a roll on this attitude. Perhaps people should try moving if they can't find anyone?

[Selfish]

To add to this I know to single guys over 30. And by single I mean , almost always single for the one (three girlfriends in the last ten years) and never has had a girlfriend.

 

The almost always single guy is very kind. But has only just started to get morivation to something with his life. He worked in a grocery store for 8 years where he complained about his job and turned down many oppurtunities dor advancement. Basically despite being nice he is lazy, and lazy isn't attractive. Nor was his moping. But he seems to be doing better.

 

The always single guy is still in a job he hates and complains about (to give an idea of this job he makes $11 an hr). He also is socially akward and an a hole when he thinks he is funny. He could be more attractive but doesn't want to try to be. He lives with his mom because he doesnt make enough to afford rent here. And he whines about no girls liking him and never finding himself a family.

Oh and he is waiting for a 8-10.

 

There is a reason sometimes why some people are single.'

[xxoo]

I couldn't care less about fancy restaurants, extensive travel, social class, etc.

 

But is it really surprising that a professional woman would? Consider what motivated her to pursue an education in that field in the first place. There is absolutely nothing surprising, or wrong, about a professional man or woman wanting to enjoy the finer things in life. Different strokes for different folks.

 

Instead of insulting these women and criticizing them for not wanting to date more down-to-earth guys, why not accept the incompatibility and pursue down-to-earth women? I wouldn't criticize a highly professional man for not wanting to date me. I'm not refined in the slightest, and I'm perfectly happy that way. I have no interest in entering into a social lifestyle that I don't enjoy. Give me flip flops on the beach, a surf board, and a lifeguard

[autumnnight]

I personally am not a spender at all.

 

I am a minimalist and live simply. I don't buy things I don't need and don't buy things that aren't exceptionally useful. I am VERY particular and picky about deciding whether or not to buy something.

 

I own very little. Barring my bed, everything I own could be packed up in my vehicle and I could take off. It's very "freeing" so to speak, living without many things. I am not tied down to possessions.

 

"Things" need to be maintained. They need to be stored, organized, kept clean and safe, they are worried over, they cause guilt over money spent, they collect dust. They add nothing positive to life!

 

I'm not a spender either, but that is not the point.

 

The point is to amass enough strikes against women to block the mirror some men should spend more time looking into.

 

I am very frugal and basically never travel.

[Timshel]

I'm not a spender either, but that is not the point.

 

The point is to amass enough strikes against women to block the mirror some men should spend more time looking into.

I am very frugal and basically never travel.

 

Apparently.^^ IMO, success is dynamic. Some men underestimate an intelligent woman's ability to appreciate many attributes and not be of singular or simple mind.

[Got it]

I know there's gold diggers out there of course, but women in general, do they seem less inclined to date a man with a low salary even if he can take care of himself on it? While men don't care as much & wouldn't eliminate her if she doesn't make that much money.

 

I have made more than my husband when we were dating, and technically my bring home pay is still much more but our total comp is equal.

 

I think you need to do some research on this, women making more is still an issue for many men.

 

I think it does depend on the difference and what it entails. I am very heavily involved in my career so I appreciate/want a man who is similar. This was a bone of contention in my previous marriage as his was more of a "punch the clock" type even though the pay was in the six figures.

 

I appreciate my husband has a very involved career, we both deal with similar level pressures, traveling, etc.

 

So, for me, it isn't so much about pay but about levels in one's career. I don't see, and my experience has shown, many men do not handle well a woman with a very intense career and the demands it requires.

[NJ123]

I have made more than my husband when we were dating, and technically my bring home pay is still much more but our total comp is equal.

 

I think you need to do some research on this, women making more is still an issue for many men.

 

I think it does depend on the difference and what it entails. I am very heavily involved in my career so I appreciate/want a man who is similar. This was a bone of contention in my previous marriage as his was more of a "punch the clock" type even though the pay was in the six figures.

 

I appreciate my husband has a very involved career, we both deal with similar level pressures, traveling, etc.

 

So, for me, it isn't so much about pay but about levels in one's career. I don't see, and my experience has shown, many men do not handle well a woman with a very intense career and the demands it requires.

 

I wouldn't care if the woman made more than me just as long as she doesn't resent me for not making as much as her. Also, if she has a very demanding career, I'd have no problen with it as long as she has time to spend with me. I wouldn't want someone to have the mentality of career first, & everything else is second.

[autumnnight]

 

The above is a very legitimate gripe. A lot of times the people who gripe about their partner not making enough are also more committed to THEIR jobs than they are their partner. These two traits often go together.