That's all folks..

[darkbloom]

Maybe it's because today was our date day during the semester. I was driving home wondering what she was up to. What is she doing on Thursdays now that she isn't going out on dates with me?

 

I've been flipping back and forth between anger and sadness. It is crazy that I could be sad about losing someone who had no problem leaving me twice, but I still am sad. I think I'll be better once this weekend is over. Valentine's Day and all of that nonsense will drive me mad.

 

I have so much work this semester, and haven't really gotten started on any of it. A lot of it requires reading, and as I'm reading, my mind just wanders towards her and never comes back.

 

Print out her picture. Deface it with permanent marker. Throw darts at it. Repeat.

 

Your mind belongs nowhere near that wench.

[Simon Phoenix]

What I said before was overly harsh. Either way dude, it seems like the first instance one of these thoughts creep into your head you completely shut down and go into a cocoon of self-pity and codependent emo blah. You can't do that dude. You have to actively fight it. You show glimpses of being able to fight, but then you shut down and turn into blubbery, wallowing goo. That can't happen man.

Edited February 13, 2015 by Simon Phoenix

[na49]

What I said before was overly harsh. Either way dude, it seems like the first instance one of these thoughts creep into your head you completely shut down and go into a cocoon of self-pity and codependent emo blah. You can't do that dude. You have to actively fight it. You show glimpses of being able to fight, but then you shut down and turn into blubbery, wallowing goo. That can't happen man.

 

Don't worry about being harsh man. I need to hear the truth.

 

I believe that I do show glimpses of being able to fight. I have moments (like this morning) where I wake up and want to punch something because I am so angry. I want to cuss her and her friends out. I feel motivated as ever to be happy without her.

 

Then... something comes up that brings up a thought about her. That leads to me missing her, which leads to me wondering what she's up to, wonder if she'll come back, etc. I need to find a better way to fight the thoughts, because it's much easier to just sit there and let it beat me than to fight. When I get like that, it's so hard to get motivated to do anything.

[mtnbiker3000]

I'm tellin' you. You, like me and many of us, are 'nice guys'. That has a very specific meaning that I'm guessing you don't really understand. Please read the book I suggested. It will help you start to unravel why this is so tough for you. It's a short read and will really open your eyes and allow you to start to heal properly...

[na49]

I've been fighting the feelings all day today. I have so much work to do, and it is all due around the same time. I can't help but think about her, wonder what she is doing, etc. I'm trying to choose to be happy over allowing it to beat me.

 

I've put up a better fight today than I did yesterday believe it or not. There have been times where I didn't really feel like being happy, but I made myself happy by saying or doing something that made me happy.

 

Tomorrow will be a difficult day for me and everyone else dealing with a breakup. I just know that I will be wondering how she is spending Valentine's Day without me. Is she spending it with her friend's brother (aka her new "prince charming ) Is she spending it with her friends, but will be okay with that because she thinks that she is better off without me? I wonder if she'll try getting in contact tomorrow.. I still have her blocked, so at least I won't be watching my phone like a hawk.

[na49]

I woke up angry this morning. I'm surprised, considering it is Valentine's Day and we had talked about our plans on what we would be doing today. She sounded so excited for our day together, and now... we won't have a day together.

[na49]

I've been doing okay so far, but now that the day is coming to an end, the sun is going down, I'm alone, it's dark, and I can't stop thinking about her. I want to unblock her to know if she's texting me. I want to beg, but also don't want to beg. I can't believe she is actually happy without me but she is. I want her to come back but don't. How do relationships just end like this? Where both people just go off in different directions and act like nothing ever happened after they spent part of their life together? Did I really mean nothing? She never mourned losing me for a second..

 

Gah, f*ck today.

[na49]

I unblocked her number last night.. just hoping she'd reach out to me.

 

No dice. She may have been getting stuffed by her friend's brother, or just enjoying being alone on Valentine's Day while she waits for her new "knight in shining armor". I knew this weekend was going to suck.

[Simon Phoenix]

I unblocked her number last night.. just hoping she'd reach out to me.

 

No dice. She may have been getting stuffed by her friend's brother, or just enjoying being alone on Valentine's Day while she waits for her new "knight in shining armor". I knew this weekend was going to suck.

 

Stop doing stupid stuff like this and reblock the number, and keep it blocked permanently.

[Oregon_Dude]

You are strong, dude. You got this. What you need to start doing immediately is catch yourself when you're thinking about her, and any negative thought about your situation. Then you must change it into a self-affirming, positive thought, such as "It's in the past, and I am doing the best I can", or "I am strong and can get through anything".

 

Because you are. Don't let some chick determine your self-worth. There is so much more to you than being someone's boyfriend or ex.

 

We're all pulling for ya.

 

OD

[Oregon_Dude]

Also, what she does or does not do is none of your business anymore. That includes "getting stuffed" by her friend's brother or whatever. Do not even engage that line of thinking. You don't know what she's doing, and you don't want to know.

 

For example, some of my friends are "friends" with my ex on Facebook. Whenever the subject of her comes up, I ask them to not update me on what she's doing - if they know. Even though I'm 99% "over" her, any info could be a setback for me. I do not want to know if she has a new BF, or not, or if her new job is panning out well... or not.

 

In the case of exes, ignorance is pure bliss. Take the focus off whatever you THINK she's doing (because you're never gonna know, because that is how you NEED it to be from here on out), and focus on rebuilding your life in positive ways. Such as renewing old friendships that have inevitably gone to the wayside, exercise, reading, and doing whatever it is that you find truly nourishing to your soul.

 

No more speculation about her. Positive thoughts only about your life.

 

OD

[mtnbiker3000]

Don't let some chick determine your self-worth. There is so much more to you than being someone's boyfriend or ex.

 

^^^Correct!!!

 

Remember. Live a life of abundance. There is as much out there as you want of whatever you want. Period. Forget these ideas of scarcity. Rubbish!!!

[na49]

I blocked her. again. (at this rate it won't be the last time I do this)

 

I'm trying hard to worry about myself, and replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. I am going out with some friends tonight, and hopefully I will be able to keep my composure this time.

 

I read the last words she sent to me over text again. I wrote them in a Word Document. It just reminded me of how things really are. That she said it was "over" and that she "isn't looking back". It's probably silly to do that, but I need to remind myself of what is actually going on. Otherwise, I'll keep having thoughts that she wants me back again, or wants me to reach out. She erased all of our pictures from Facebook, told me it was over, and is living life with her friends. I need to do the same. I deserve to be happy too.

[The Poster]

I blocked her. again. (at this rate it won't be the last time I do this)

 

I'm trying hard to worry about myself, and replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. I am going out with some friends tonight, and hopefully I will be able to keep my composure this time.

 

I read the last words she sent to me over text again. I wrote them in a Word Document. It just reminded me of how things really are. That she said it was "over" and that she "isn't looking back". It's probably silly to do that, but I need to remind myself of what is actually going on. Otherwise, I'll keep having thoughts that she wants me back again, or wants me to reach out. She erased all of our pictures from Facebook, told me it was over, and is living life with her friends. I need to do the same. I deserve to be happy too.

 

That's not silly at all, man. Writing down your thoughts like that are beneficial to your healing. It's like affirmations. Keep repeating them and eventually you'll believe them, and then you will heal faster.

[na49]

I was able to keep my composure last night with my friends. Maybe that's a sign that I'm getting over it a little bit more. While I was with my friends I didn't think about her much if at all. There were times I needed to remind myself that I was dealing with a breakup and everything.

 

I woke up this morning feeling sad though. I can't stop thinking about how she will end up falling in love with someone else, and having sex with someone else. It just makes me sick..

 

I did change the password on the extra Facebook account that I used to stalk her with. It was some random arrangement of numbers that I don't remember. I haven't used it since last week, but I don't need to see anything worse than what I saw. If I ever want to go back onto the account to check up on her, I'll need to get a new password or make a new account. Hopefully I don't ever get those urges though.

[seminoles84]

 

I did change the password on the extra Facebook account that I used to stalk her with. It was some random arrangement of numbers that I don't remember. I haven't used it since last week, but I don't need to see anything worse than what I saw. If I ever want to go back onto the account to check up on her, I'll need to get a new password or make a new account. Hopefully I don't ever get those urges though.

 

Delete the account. Really, just think about it. This is not normal and reminds me of the show Catfish. Let's not be crazy and create new fake personalities to engage in stalker activities. This might come off harsh, but if you read this about another individual you'd agree that they shouldn't be doing this. Only mean what is best for you.

 

Good luck!

[na49]

Delete the account. Really, just think about it. This is not normal and reminds me of the show Catfish. Let's not be crazy and create new fake personalities to engage in stalker activities. This might come off harsh, but if you read this about another individual you'd agree that they shouldn't be doing this. Only mean what is best for you.

 

Good luck!

 

If I delete it, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to reactivate it by logging in. I don't know the password, so I'm basically locked out of the account now. I know it is stalkerish lol.

 

I love the show Catfish. (we used to watch it together )

[seminoles84]

If I delete it, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to reactivate it by logging in. I don't know the password, so I'm basically locked out of the account now. I know it is stalkerish lol.

 

I love the show Catfish. (we used to watch it together )

 

There's deactivating FB and deleting. If you delete you can't reactivate it.

[na49]

There's deactivating FB and deleting. If you delete you can't reactivate it.

 

Ahh okay.. well I already changed the password, and am basically locked out of it. I guess deleting it would have been a better idea.

[PearTree]

Here is what you do:

1. Write down ten things that you don't like about her (e.g. that she is hurting you so much and doesn't care!)

2. Read your list

 

Would you choose a partner who had all those awful qualities? Would you advise a friend to date someone like that?

[na49]

Here is what you do:

1. Write down ten things that you don't like about her (e.g. that she is hurting you so much and doesn't care!)

2. Read your list

 

Would you choose a partner who had all those awful qualities? Would you advise a friend to date someone like that?

 

I would try that but I know all of her flaws, and still want her anyway.

 

I am having a very hard day today for some reason. I have work to do that I haven't started. I just want to call her or check her Facebook to hurt myself again.

[PearTree]

I would try that but I know all of her flaws, and still want her anyway.

 

I am having a very hard day today for some reason. I have work to do that I haven't started. I just want to call her or check her Facebook to hurt myself again.

 

I would try meditating if I were you - just to clear your head right now. If you Google 'headspace' you can find a series of free 10-minute meditation sessions that really help. It isn't about ignoring pain but accepting it and realising that it is what it is.

 

When you're feeling stronger why not try doing something totally wild and out of your comfort zone? Join a pole dancing class or a pottery class or something! There'll be loads of girls there that you can make friends with (not with thoughts of dating them, but just to remind yourself that other girls exist and are nice). It will give you something else to think about, it will reset your brain a bit and it might be the start of a fun new hobby! Plus you'll be proud of yourself for doing something different.

[na49]

I would try meditating if I were you - just to clear your head right now. If you Google 'headspace' you can find a series of free 10-minute meditation sessions that really help. It isn't about ignoring pain but accepting it and realising that it is what it is.

 

I tried meditating, but my mind wanders too much for it to work. It's so used to going to her, and everything about her, that I can't think of anything else. I'm not ignoring my pain, but I can't fight it off either, so I just feel like I'm stuck. I have no motivation or energy to do anything but think about her. I fight myself on whether or not I should contact her or check her profile. I usually end up winning the fight and not doing it, but I'm sick of these mental battles.

[PearTree]

I would try that but I know all of her flaws, and still want her anyway.

 

I am having a very hard day today for some reason. I have work to do that I haven't started. I just want to call her or check her Facebook to hurt myself again.

 

I tried meditating, but my mind wanders too much for it to work. It's so used to going to her, and everything about her, that I can't think of anything else. I'm not ignoring my pain, but I can't fight it off either, so I just feel like I'm stuck. I have no motivation or energy to do anything but think about her. I fight myself on whether or not I should contact her or check her profile. I usually end up winning the fight and not doing it, but I'm sick of these mental battles.

It's alright if your mind wanders. You can watch your thoughts go by without getting tangled up in them.

 

If I were you I would eat a huge feast and spend a day lying in bed watching TV - treat yourself kindly as if you were ill.

 

Have you tried writing about your feelings in a notebook?

[na49]

It's alright if your mind wanders. You can watch your thoughts go by without getting tangled up in them.

 

If I were you I would eat a huge feast and spend a day lying in bed watching TV - treat yourself kindly as if you were ill.

 

Have you tried writing about your feelings in a notebook?

 

I need to get better at watching the thoughts go by.

 

Also, I am 2 weeks post breakup, I think I am past the spoiling myself stage.

 

I haven't written my feelings in a notebook, but this thread is where I post everything I'm going through. I like to get it out there, and get advice from others.