Author D-Lish Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 I'm happy that you realize that you deserve better. That's important because next time, you'll be able to spot these commitment-phobe types before you allow yourself to get too emotionally attached. After you've dated a couple, you learn to recognize the signs which is why these lessons in love are so important, if not painful, considering they come at the expense of getting hurt to learn it. If that makes any sense? Guys like him are hard to spot sometimes -- the walking contradictions. They talk the good talk, as you said, "full of sentiment," to reel you in emotionally, like a fishing lure all bright and shiny and attractive. But when you expect them to walk the talk, well, they show their true colors when they fall down and stumble, failing to follow through on any promise they make...from small to large ones. If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck then it is probably...a wooden duck that resembles the real thing. Sorry, couldn't resist tweaking that popular expression to fit my point. I just hope you won't let this guy be the reason your heart is closed for maintenance . Your country is well populated with eligible men, who are capable of committing to a woman unlike this guy is (and who have a job and will contribute more equally to the relationship with you in the future). At least he admitted to you that he screwed up. That shows he has some self awareness but not enough to really care. If he knew he was meant for the consummate bachelor lifestyle as a semi-pro jock who prefers drinking beer on his couch to cooking dinner for his girlfriend, there'd be a different ending to your story. Thanks WG. Being with someone like this was a true roller coaster ride. I don't doubt that he believed a lot of the sentiment he threw so carelessly at me- because I could see it in his eyes and feel the happiness he felt when we were together. I think that's why I stuck around longer than I should have. At the same time- as his words were inviting me in, his actions were pushing me away. He simply wasn't capable of following through. I could tell a part of him wanted to, but as soon as I gave him a little shove to try and be more considerate- I became a problem for him. I just began to feel that only a crappy person would throw words out so carelessly at a person they know is vulnerable. No job, smoking weed, and playing a sport I don't even believe was at a high level- I think that was a story too. I also don't know where his money came from. It was nice to be able to open up so completely with someone, and it was nice to have those few months of feeling completely adored...but in the end, it wasn't real. He was just a wooden duck, lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Thanks WG. Being with someone like this was a true roller coaster ride. I don't doubt that he believed a lot of the sentiment he threw so carelessly at me- because I could see it in his eyes and feel the happiness he felt when we were together. I think that's why I stuck around longer than I should have. At the same time- as his words were inviting me in, his actions were pushing me away. He simply wasn't capable of following through. I could tell a part of him wanted to, but as soon as I gave him a little shove to try and be more considerate- I became a problem for him. I just began to feel that only a crappy person would throw words out so carelessly at a person they know is vulnerable. No job, smoking weed, and playing a sport I don't even believe was at a high level- I think that was a story too. I also don't know where his money came from. It was nice to be able to open up so completely with someone, and it was nice to have those few months of feeling completely adored...but in the end, it wasn't real. He was just a wooden duck, lol. Exactly! He was just a decoy that resembled a man able to commit to a relationship. He sounds like the y. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 (edited) I'm not on here a ton anymore but D is one of the "oldtimers" so we kind off know each other. She is drop dead gorgeous and the guy wasn't too shabby himself. I think at the level of attractiveness they both possess it makes it even harder and more confusing. Tough to leave a hot guy you connect with, even when the red flags are waving in your face, and I'm sure he was trying really hard to be her prince charming too even if deep down he knew he couldn't pull it off for long. I am immensely impressed D that you were strong enough to reach this conclusion AND follow through. Wow, I truly hope you DON'T shut yourself off over this because you, especially with your new found, hard earned wisdom you are truly the whole package ! Edited August 24, 2014 by melodymatters 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 I'm not on here a ton anymore but D is one of the "oldtimers" so we kind off know each other. She is drop dead gorgeous and the guy wasn't too shabby himself. I think at the level of attractiveness they both possess it makes it even harder and more confusing. Tough to leave a hot guy you connect with, even when the red flags are waving in your face, and I'm sure he was trying really hard to be her prince charming too even if deep down he knew he couldn't pull it off for long. I am immensely impressed D that you were strong enough to reach this conclusion AND follow through. Wow, I truly hope you DON'T shut yourself off over this because you, especially with your new found, hard earned wisdom you are truly the whole package ! Thank you MM, and back at ya;) You're pretty hot yourself. There was an immense amount of physical chemistry between us. He had the most beautiful brown eyes that sparkled when he smiled at me. I'll definitely miss seeing his face light up like a happy little kid when he looked at me. The silly thing is, I didn't ask for much from him- only a little consideration. Just to follow through when he made a date or promised me dinner. He tried to manipulate me into feeling bad for those expectations when I broke up with him, but I was having none of that. Again, I think he was used to dating women that ate the charm and didn't question the lies. I just have a feeling he knew all along that our relationship had a short time line because I was too smart to eat the BS just because he was super sexy. I'm going out with some friends from work tonight. I haven't been out in a while and I think it will be good to be social. The old D would have stayed with this guy. Ultimately though, I'd rather be alone, than be with someone that makes me feel lonely. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 Today was the first day I haven't cried. That's a break through. Two days spent hanging out with co-workers, still hanging on to no contact and doing well with that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Today was the first day I haven't cried. That's a break through. Two days spent hanging out with co-workers, still hanging on to no contact and doing well with that. Right on sister! Keep up the NC and go on with yo bad self! Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 Right on sister! Keep up the NC and go on with yo bad self! NC is the best advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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