My ex has completely blocked me from everything. What would cause her to do that?

[somedude81]

Many, if not most, people in their early 20s are focusing on things other than relationships and don't like to put much work into them. They like to have fun. She's focusing on school and friends and work AND it sounds like she had to drive an hour each way, three times a week to see you? That's a lot for a 20 year old college student. I NEVER would have even considered that when I was in school. She could probably sense that you wanted more and she didn't want to do the work. It's smothering when the person you are with wants more and you don't. You feel as though you can never make them happy and the more you give the more they will take.

 

You didn't do anything wrong. She's 20 years old and that's where people are when they are that young. She has other priorities in life besides having a boyfriend.

She wasn't in school while we were dating. Classes for her wouldn't start again until January 2014. The only thing she had going on was her part-time job.

 

She drove an hour to see me, once a week. Then she would stay two or three nights at my place, then she would drive back. About every other week I made the drive to see her and we did stuff in her city for the day, then I would drive back.

 

To me, I felt that she liked me as much as I liked her. I never felt an imbalance.

[me85]

Somedude, clearly you're hurting and only want to vent.

 

That's what is so great about this site! We can vent like crazy until we are blue in the face.

 

BUT...I've been seeing this thread over the last few days and felt really bad for you but at the same time, you know you're torturing yourself.

 

That girl is doing you a favor. Believe me. Do you honestly want to keep up with her and see or know what she's doing? Who she's possibly dating??? You think you do, but I swear you don't.

 

I only wish my ex would've blocked me from facebook the times he got involved with other girls or "moved on" & was "happy" without me. He was the biggest jerk ever for not sparing me from seeing posts like that. It was a sucker punch. A very low blow. Distasteful. This was someone I lived with for 2 years & gave my everything to. Someone I was completely loyal to.

 

At least your ex is trying to spare you from those things and more. At least she doesn't want to say or do cruel things that REALLY hurt your feelings, more than this. Believe me. She knows she has hurt you enough by BU with you. She doesn't want to make your life a living hell. Thank her for that. Cheese and rice!

 

You clearly have a problem with letting go (SO DO I.) You are a dweller!!

 

I stopped asking why a long time ago. It really doesn't matter why at this point does it??? Those questions will NEVER EVER EVER be answered for you. Not in my case for sure because my ex doesn't even know "why" himself. ERRRR.

 

Keep your composer (as hard as it is) wish them the best (as hard as that is - and mostly just a lie to just be the bigger person lol) AND JUST LET GO.

 

The time you two shared is OVER. You may know her again in the future, who the eff knows??! But you have to consider the present.

 

All that matters is right here, right now, what's in front of us.

 

You are being WEAK. MAKE yourself re-direct your thoughts! Be proactive about it. Stop coming here to vent about it (as it does not seem to be all that beneficial for you.) Get out and live life. Watch movies. Play games.

 

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be ugly. I have been the same obsessive weak little pathetic person too. That's why I am shaking my finger at you with such aggression right now. LOL

 

Please please please do not let this consume you any longer.

 

It's just pointless SD.

 

Pointless, pointless!

 

I'm sure you've given yourself a freaking ulcer for Pete's sake!

[xxoo]

Though isn't that the general problem with male and female communication? The woman just wants to talk and the man wants to fix the problem?

 

Your analogy is way off. She didn't come to you with a problem. She didn't want to talk about it OR fix it. She wanted to break up with you.

 

 

 

 

What I'm having so much trouble understanding was why I suddenly became the wrong person. How can things go from being great, to over when nothing is wrong? We would have had a great life and relationship if she didn't bail on me.

 

We've explained repeatedly. She got a fuller picture of who you are, and how you fit together. The honeymoon and fantasy period faded, and she didn't see a future with you. This fits perfectly with the timing (6 months) and the trigger (visiting your family).

 

You didn't become the wrong person. You always were the wrong person, but she didn't fully "see" who you are until she dated you for a while. This is completely normal, and people either grow more or less interested.

 

Life would have been great for YOU if she didn't leave. Life would have been unsatisfying for her. That's why she broke up with you.

[rester]

She wasn't in school while we were dating. Classes for her wouldn't start again until January 2014. The only thing she had going on was her part-time job.

 

It was the holidays. People are busy during the holidays.

 

She drove an hour to see me, once a week. Then she would stay two or three nights at my place, then she would drive back. About every other week I made the drive to see her and we did stuff in her city for the day, then I would drive back.

 

That's a lot of time for her to be away from home, man! She's doing all the work, staying at your place two or three nights a week, and you do a day trip with her every other week? I know she lived with her parents, but that's an imbalance right there. And then she cooks for you, helps you buy stuff for your apartment. Sounds like a lot of work for her.

 

What you keep missing is that you DID have issues in the relationship. Those issues were hidden inside her head. For whatever reason, she was unable to bring them up with you. They were there, but she felt it was easier to end the relationship than bring up the issues and deal with them. You don't want to be with a woman like that. You want someone that is able to communicate to you what her issues are, and you want to cultivate an environment where she is comfortable doing so. It's not easy. You don't just get a girlfriend and live happily ever after. You need to work through stuff. She didn't have the energy for it. Why would she? She's only 20.

 

She is not the prize you are making her out to be. She could not communicate to you what her issues were. That is not a partner you want to be with. You need to recognize this flaw in her to help you move on.

 

To me, I felt that she liked me as much as I liked her. I never felt an imbalance.

 

Didn't she tell you that she felt that you liked her more than she liked you?

[xxoo]

To me, I felt that she liked me as much as I liked her. I never felt an imbalance.

 

I'm not at all surprised that you didn't notice it.

 

You know how we say women can "tell" things? Men can, too. You seem to personally struggle with reading these unspoken communications.

[somedude81]

Somedude, clearly you're hurting and only want to vent.

 

That's what is so great about this site! We can vent like crazy until we are blue in the face.

 

BUT...I've been seeing this thread over the last few days and felt really bad for you but at the same time, you know you're torturing yourself.

 

That girl is doing you a favor. Believe me. Do you honestly want to keep up with her and see or know what she's doing? Who she's possibly dating??? You think you do, but I swear you don't.

 

I only wish my ex would've blocked me from facebook the times he got involved with other girls or "moved on" & was "happy" without me. He was the biggest jerk ever for not sparing me from seeing posts like that. It was a sucker punch. A very low blow. Distasteful. This was someone I lived with for 2 years & gave my everything to. Someone I was completely loyal to.

 

At least your ex is trying to spare you from those things and more. At least she doesn't want to say or do cruel things that REALLY hurt your feelings, more than this. Believe me. She knows she has hurt you enough by BU with you. She doesn't want to make your life a living hell. Thank her for that. Cheese and rice!

 

You clearly have a problem with letting go (SO DO I.) You are a dweller!!

 

I stopped asking why a long time ago. It really doesn't matter why at this point does it??? Those questions will NEVER EVER EVER be answered for you. Not in my case for sure because my ex doesn't even know "why" himself. ERRRR.

 

Keep your composer (as hard as it is) wish them the best (as hard as that is - and mostly just a lie to just be the bigger person lol) AND JUST LET GO.

 

The time you two shared is OVER. You may know her again in the future, who the eff knows??! But you have to consider the present.

 

All that matters is right here, right now, what's in front of us.

 

You are being WEAK. MAKE yourself re-direct your thoughts! Be proactive about it. Stop coming here to vent about it (as it does not seem to be all that beneficial for you.) Get out and live life. Watch movies. Play games.

 

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be ugly. I have been the same obsessive weak little pathetic person too. That's why I am shaking my finger at you with such aggression right now. LOL

 

Please please please do not let this consume you any longer.

 

It's just pointless SD.

 

Pointless, pointless!

 

I'm sure you've given yourself a freaking ulcer for Pete's sake!

 

 

 

No, I absolutely do not want to see if she's with a new guy.

 

I think after enough posts in this thread it should be obvious why I wanted access to her page.

 

We're not in the same social circle, she doesn't go to my school anymore, and we live an hour apart from each other. Unless some strange twist of fate happens, we will never accidentally run into each other.

 

Realizing that I'm blocked on her Facebook as well has shown me the finality of it all.

Edited May 30, 2014 by somedude81

[AnyaNova]

I had already known that she blocked my phone number, as that's pretty much standard procedure. For a brief time we communicated through email, then she told me in one email that it would be the last thing she would respond. I tried to send her a couple emails after that but she didn't respond. Most likely she marked me as spam. The last time I tried to contact her was at the start of April.

 

Today I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to look at her Facebook, which honestly, seeing how she's doing would just torture me but whatever. Yet I couldn't access her page. Then I did a thing to find out if I was blocked from her Facebook and, yup I was. I haven't sent her a Facebook message in about a year, since before we became a couple, and I never posted on her page, but I guess at one point she thought I would try to contact her that way. I was actually the one to unfriend her. So she had to go out of her way to block me.

 

Finding out I was blocked from her Facebook made me feel a little sick. How could she hate me so much? I did not cheat on her, I was never abusive to her, physically, verbally, or emotionally to her. I never lied to her or disrespected her, or stole from her. The only thing I did to her, was annoy her by trying to get closure, and trying to get her to explain why she dumped me. Was that enough to garner the same response as if I'd cheated on her with three women?

 

I know you're in pain. Before you start catastrophizing and assuming that she hates you, here might have been other reasons.

 

I don't hate my ex. I wish him well.

 

But havin hope that he would respond to the FB messages I sent him was killing me. It is hard to say why she did it, but don't assume it had anything to do with hating you.

 

I think at his point it might help to remember that when you're in her head. No one is taking care of yours.

 

Please. Find a way to distract yourself and get back into your own head. She did it for what ever reasons are no longer any of your business.

 

And believe me, I know how sour and awful those words taste in the mouth. My ex spore fly, I that site was right, moved for whatever reasons he moved and it doesn't matter how much or how little I still do of dont care about him, he made it clear that he doesn't ever want it to be my business ever again.

 

Out feelings may b and probably are different, but I know how viscerally that pain was for me.

 

I am sorry you are hurting. How are you doing right now?

[somedude81]

We've explained repeatedly. She got a fuller picture of who you are, and how you fit together. The honeymoon and fantasy period faded, and she didn't see a future with you. This fits perfectly with the timing (6 months) and the trigger (visiting your family).

 

You didn't become the wrong person. You always were the wrong person, but she didn't fully "see" who you are until she dated you for a while. This is completely normal, and people either grow more or less interested.

 

You may be right.

 

This is one of those things I will probably never be able to understand.

 

At this point in my life, I can't even imagine being the dumper. Of course that may change.

 

 

Life would have been great for YOU if she didn't leave. Life would have been unsatisfying for her. That's why she broke up with you.

I have no idea what more she wanted from me, what I wasn't providing to her, and she would have been unsatisfied.

 

To me, those all look like things I could have tried to fix. Aside from having her do most of the driving, I can't think of anything she would have been unsatisfied about.

 

Aren't people supposed to work on relationships? Or do they break up right away if things aren't perfect?

I'm not at all surprised that you didn't notice it.

 

You know how we say women can "tell" things? Men can, too. You seem to personally struggle with reading these unspoken communications.

Chalk it up to a lack of experience.

 

I don't have any sisters, I was never that close to my female cousins, I never had any female friends growing up. I simply don't have much experience understanding women on a deeper level.

[me85]

No, I absolutely do not want to see if she's with a new guy.

 

I think after enough posts in this thread it should be obvious why I wanted access to her page.

 

We're not in the same social circle, she doesn't go to my school anymore, and we live an hour apart from each other. Unless some strange twist of fate happens, we will never accidentally run into each other.

 

Realizing that I'm blocked on her Facebook as well has shown me the finality of it all.

 

 

I HATE how FB has become the be all/end all of relationships.

 

Or any social network for that matter.

 

Look, it is so hard saying goodbye to someone you care so deeply about but be thankful it isn't any worse of a situation. It very well could be.

 

I have a feeling this girl will reach out to you in the distant future.

 

If she is really a nice girl with no intentions of hurting you, she certainly just might, to see how you are and wish you well and maybe even apologize for avoiding contact with you for so long.

 

People with souls/morals/hearts generally do this. Not to be mistaken for a breadcrumb though!

 

Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Don't count on it either way.

 

Build your confidence. Get back on track. You will be dating again in no time, I'm sure.

 

Good luck!

[xxoo]

I have no idea what more she wanted from me, what I wasn't providing to her, and she would have been unsatisfied.

 

To me, those all look like things I could have tried to fix. Aside from having her do most of the driving, I can't think of anything she would have been unsatisfied about.

 

Aren't people supposed to work on relationships? Or do they break up right away if things aren't perfect?

 

She didn't want a better relationship with you. She didn't want to work on a relationship with you. She wanted to not be dating you.

 

People work on things when they feel a strong desire to be together despite problems, or when splitting up has huge negatives (for example: breaking up the family when kids are involved). She had no desire to stay, and she had no need to fix things.

 

This is the reason for the dating period. You try out the relationship and see if you want to build a future with this person. Do you want to hitch your wagon, or not? You have to admit that you have a lot of issues and things to work on. You are a work in progress, and well behind your peers. All of those factors would give a young woman pause about hitching her wagon to yours.

[somedude81]

She didn't want a better relationship with you. She didn't want to work on a relationship with you. She wanted to not be dating you.

 

People work on things when they feel a strong desire to be together despite problems, or when splitting up has huge negatives (for example: breaking up the family when kids are involved). She had no desire to stay, and she had no need to fix things.

 

This is the reason for the dating period. You try out the relationship and see if you want to build a future with this person. Do you want to hitch your wagon, or not? You have to admit that you have a lot of issues and things to work on. You are a work in progress, and well behind your peers. All of those factors would give a young woman pause about hitching her wagon to yours.

 

To me, it's irrelevant that I was behind my peers. She wasn't dating my peers. She normally does not date older guys. Also, when we were dating, I had believed that I would be graduating in May of this year, while she would be entering two years of nursing school. She has no idea what's going on with my school situation and may actually believe that I graduated already.

 

I do want to point out that if I was caught up with my peers, we never would have gotten together.

 

My biggest issue is why many women stay in bad relationships and I get dumped when the relationship was nowhere close to bad.

 

What was it about me that she realized I wouldn't have been a good long term match for her? I realize that, that is a question that she may not even be able to answer.

Edited May 30, 2014 by somedude81

[Itspointless]

I also completely disagree that the two of us weren't meant to be together. I've repeatedly written that we were very compatible and never fought. Our relationship did not have any issues at all.

Life does not work like this. I would say the same about my situation, with the exception that I would put even more accents and I have to forgot about the fact that she got ill again and stressed (also due to some other reasons). Fact is she broke up with me just as your girl did (she was 15 years older than your girl btw). If We were meant together why the hell havent I seen her for more than half a year? Logic is a construct our brains have invented through the centuries, life simply does not work like that. People act on impulses. She somehow felt uncomfortable, due to a myriade of things and despite the fact that she said that I was perfect. If you two were meant you would be together. it is as simple as that. Sometimes we are perfect for each-other, but not meant to be. I know, it sucks. And think about this, if she can make such a decision, is she that perfect than?

[KathyM]

It's not that she hates you, or anything like that. It's very typical that people block their ex on their FB page after a breakup for privacy purposes, since they don't want you to be privy to what is happening in their life, who they are seeing, what they are doing, and they also don't want to be reminded of what is happening in your life as well.

[xxoo]

To me, it's irrelevant that I was behind my peers. She wasn't dating my peers. She normally does not date older guys. Also, when we were dating, I had believed that I would be graduating in May of this year, while she would be entering two years of nursing school. She has no idea what's going on with my school situation and may actually believe that I graduated already.

 

I do want to point out that if I was caught up with my peers, we never would have gotten together.

 

My biggest issue is why many women stay in bad relationships and I get dumped when the relationship was nowhere close to bad.

 

What was it about me that she realized I wouldn't have been a good long term match for her? I realize that, that is a question that she may not even be able to answer.

 

To you. What is relevant and irrelevant to you doesn't matter.

 

I'm not going to go through it again. She had plenty of reason to be less than thrilled about getting serious with someone in your situation. Fix your situation, and you'll have more luck with women and relationships. Women will see you as a catch, rather than a potential burden.

[KaliLove]

To me, it's irrelevant that I was behind my peers. She wasn't dating my peers. She normally does not date older guys. Also, when we were dating, I had believed that I would be graduating in May of this year, while she would be entering two years of nursing school. She has no idea what's going on with my school situation and may actually believe that I graduated already.

 

I do want to point out that if I was caught up with my peers, we never would have gotten together.

 

My biggest issue is why many women stay in bad relationships and I get dumped when the relationship was nowhere close to bad.

 

What was it about me that she realized I wouldn't have been a good long term match for her? I realize that, that is a question that she may not even be able to answer.

 

The most likely explanation is that she is 21 years old and doesn't want to be in a long term relationship yet, and that her feelings for you were not strong enough to overcome her desire to be single. If you're looking for a long term relationship, you should go a little older..mid-late 20's at least.

 

But gently..she doesn't actually owe you an explanation. All you need to know is that she doesn't want to be with you. I know that sucks but that's life. We cannot force others to do what we want them to do, and we cannot force them to explain why they don't want to do those things. We can only control how we ourselves handle it.

 

Going around in circles and trying to figure out why she did what she did is not going to help you move on, nor is it going to help you meet other women. I would strongly recommend that you try to refocus your energy on school and meeting new people instead.

[somedude81]

The most likely explanation is that she is 21 years old and doesn't want to be in a long term relationship yet, and that her feelings for you were not strong enough to overcome her desire to be single. If you're looking for a long term relationship, you should go a little older..mid-late 20's at least.

When I met her, she was in a three year relationship. She actually left him to date me. So I know that she is the type of woman to do the serious long term relationship thing.

 

But gently..she doesn't actually owe you an explanation. All you need to know is that she doesn't want to be with you. I know that sucks but that's life. We cannot force others to do what we want them to do, and we cannot force them to explain why they don't want to do those things. We can only control how we ourselves handle it.

Yes I'm starting to understand that.

 

If I get dumped by next GF, I'm not going to pester her for reasons. All I have control of is how I act.

Going around in circles and trying to figure out why she did what she did is not going to help you move on, nor is it going to help you meet other women. I would strongly recommend that you try to refocus your energy on school and meeting new people instead.

No, it's not helping me move on. But it's still the dominating thing in my mind.

 

I can be very obsessive.

[KaliLove]

When I met her, she was in a three year relationship. She actually left him to date me. So I know that she is the type of woman to do the serious long term relationship thing.

 

 

Yes I'm starting to understand that.

 

If I get dumped by next GF, I'm not going to pester her for reasons. All I have control of is how I act.

 

No, it's not helping me move on. But it's still the dominating thing in my mind.

 

I can be very obsessive.

 

So she had been in relationships since she was 18. No wonder she needed a break. All the more reason for her NOT to want to be in one now.

 

I'm sure she will eventually be the type of woman who wants to be in a long term relationship, but for now she's probably just a very young girl who wants her freedom.

 

I still think (and I'm sure others will agree with me) that you should aim for older women..26 and up. That's around the age where many women start actually considering their romantic futures.

 

As for being obsessive..you need to learn to control that about yourself. It's not good for you.

[Imajerk17]

My biggest issue is why many women stay in bad relationships and I get dumped when the relationship was nowhere close to bad.

 

 

She wasn't feeling that you were the one. She probably saw how much you needed her or how miserable you were alone--deal-breakers for many women. (Otherwise, why did she say that she felt you were into her far more than she was into you--how did she know?) Even if she did feel you were taking the career/school thing seriously enough, it doesn't really matter. YOU might have been happy in the relationship and thought it was perfect, but she did not.

 

Has she made the right decision, for her? Well, 6 months later she has moved on with her life, while you're still coming on here saying how miserable you are alone. Going round and round in circles with your analysis. No real signs that you are moving on. Or making an effort to.

 

Somedude, truth is, relationships end, even in cases where the dumped party did "everything right". You can't control another person. You need to stop wallowing as you are.

Edited May 30, 2014 by Imajerk17

[MidwestUSA]

,.ws

I do want to point out that if I was caught up with my peers, we never would have gotten together.

 

My biggest issue is why many women stay in bad relationships and I get dumped when the relationship was nowhere close to bad.

 

What was it about me that she realized I wouldn't have been a good long term match for her? I realize that, that is a question that she may not even be able to answer.

 

As to the bolded, if you were caught up with your peers, you may have ended up with someone more age appropriate for you. Not a bad thing.

 

As for not being a good long term match. Hmmm, IF and when you graduate, you've got a lot of work ahead of you to establish yourself in a career. You'll be in your forties, and maybe still paying off debt. Meanwhile, she's full swing into nursing, and IF marriage and babies are on her mind, she needs a qualified partner to pull it off. While nurses are generally great nurturers, she probably couldn't picture herself nurturing a husband as well as children.

 

She definitely showed that nurturing side - buying basic kitchen supplies, and decorating for you. She got a good glimpse of what was ahead, more of the same, but with much bigger stakes. She tried to get you on a path (into the kitchen, cooking, eating healthy). IIR, wasn't it her who ended up doing the cooking anyway (on top of traveling to you)?

 

We work from nursing care plans, which consist of three stages. Diagnose, plan, and implement. She probably ran thru it in her head.

 

I'll speak for myself and most of the nurses I know. We don't put up with slop - unhealthy habits (eating, sleeping, exercising), lack of motivation, lack of follow through. Nursing is goal and outcome based. You were a bigger project than she wanted to take on at such a young age (and yes, nurses are guilty of taking on projects, often forgetting the basic principle 'people don't change').

 

Maybe you'd fare better with someone who's more artsy/go with the flow than clinical/outcome based?

[Simon Phoenix]

Six months removed and are you are still trying to clumsily insert logic into feelings. Her feeling was that you weren't right for her for a variety of reasons (lack of career track, lack of experience, lack of any sort of base understanding about women and their feelings, etc.) and she didn't feel enough of a draw to you to navigate through those red flags.

 

Either way, you are stuck in an obsessive loop that is completely harmful. Be obsessed with getting your life on track, not some girl who decided that life was better without you. Everything you've done since then, from badgering her to obsessing, has confirmed her instincts about you. It's time to evolve, and you can't evolve if you keep ruminating about a past event that has long run its course. I'm not telling you to be recovered, but you still mired in an early stage of grief six months removed.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Six months removed and are you are still trying to clumsily insert logic into feelings. Her feeling was that you weren't right for her for a variety of reasons (lack of career track, lack of experience, lack of any sort of base understanding about women and their feelings, etc.) and she didn't feel enough of a draw to you to navigate through those red flags.

 

Either way, you are stuck in an obsessive loop that is completely harmful. Be obsessed with getting your life on track, not some girl who decided that life was better without you. Everything you've done since then, from badgering her to obsessing, has confirmed her instincts about you. It's time to evolve, and you can't evolve if you keep ruminating about a past event that has long run its course. I'm not telling you to be recovered, but you still mired in an early stage of grief six months removed.

 

Sorry Dude but I gotta agree with Simon Phoenix on this one. Wise words.

[organizedchaos]

When I met her, she was in a three year relationship. She actually left him to date me. So I know that she is the type of woman to do the serious long term relationship thing.

 

Right, and after spending 3 years with a guy, then jumping immediately in to something with you, she decided she wanted out for whatever reasons. She wants to be single, she wants casual dating, whatever. She's 21. She's most likely NOT looking to settle down for the rest of her life with you or anyone for that matter for a long time.

[AnyaNova]

When I met her, she was in a three year relationship. She actually left him to date me. So I know that she is the type of woman to do the serious long term relationship thing.

 

 

Yes I'm starting to understand that.

 

If I get dumped by next GF, I'm not going to pester her for reasons. All I have control of is how I act.

 

No, it's not helping me move on. But it's still the dominating thing in my mind.

 

I can be very obsessive.

 

I feel like you and I are in similar circumstances. I too can be obsessive (my response to losing my graduate career to my health apparently involves furious cleaning of every nook, cranny, corner and floorboard. My dining room looks fabulous. I think I'll focus on one room a day. But my point is,

 

I broke NC a gazillion times. I messaged Tim over email, Facebook. Everything. But he wanted nothing to do with me.

 

So since you have a hyper vigilant mind, what things can you do when you want to contact her or when you start focusing hard on the Facebook blocking to wrest its attention away... cook a fabulous dish? Clean to the floorboards? Redo orate a room? Learn a new instrument? Try and be able to play a consisten slap with both hands on the djembe? What would work to draw your mind into something other than its favorite familiar path regarding the ex?

[me85]

Ok, I just realized what this is really about.

 

Foolish me!

 

This is NOT about HER. No sir, not at all. This is about YOU and your own insecurities.

 

You want to know why she left YOU, what's so bad about YOU...

 

So, no matter what you say or how wrong you think I am, you are searching for a deeper purpose my friend. & now that we know this here's what I can do to help!

 

"Why do women stay in bad RSs but break up with me when it's no where near bad?"

 

First, stop assuming. This is preposterous! Be broader in your perceptions.

 

Secondly, I hate to say it but a lot to do with your misfortune with women is probably your pessimistic attitude, Somedude.

 

Thirdly, you need to dive into the things you are good at doing, do them & applaud yourself for doing them! (unless they are bad things of course-I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you know good from bad LOL I'm only joking)

 

Your life will start to improve tremendously the moment you start thinking more positively.

 

"I AM, I CAN, I WILL."

[somedude81]

As to the bolded, if you were caught up with your peers, you may have ended up with someone more age appropriate for you. Not a bad thing.

Eh, that's an issue for a different thread.

 

As for not being a good long term match. Hmmm, IF and when you graduate, you've got a lot of work ahead of you to establish yourself in a career. You'll be in your forties, and maybe still paying off debt. Meanwhile, she's full swing into nursing, and IF marriage and babies are on her mind, she needs a qualified partner to pull it off.

I think you're a little confused.

 

My major is Business Administration with a concentration in Information Systems. It would not take me ten years to get established in my career as an IT professional. I'd pay off all my debt in two years tops. Hell, I'm getting job offers right now for once I graduate.

 

Conversely, she is going to a private nursing school and the amount of debt she's entering into is crazy. Last I heard it was going to be $150,000 or more. That is far more debt than I have.

 

While nurses are generally great nurturers, she probably couldn't picture herself nurturing a husband as well as children.

 

She definitely showed that nurturing side - buying basic kitchen supplies, and decorating for you. She got a good glimpse of what was ahead, more of the same, but with much bigger stakes. She tried to get you on a path (into the kitchen, cooking, eating healthy). IIR, wasn't it her who ended up doing the cooking anyway (on top of traveling to you)?

Nurturing me?

 

She bought the basic cooking stuff because she wanted to cook and I didn't have the tools she needed. She loved to cook. The reason she cooked more than I did was because she flat out did not let me cook.

 

Usually she'd cook one night, then we went out the next.

 

She did not decorate for me. I wanted to make my apartment look better so I took her shopping with me for her input. She was happy to come along and probably enjoyed it more than I did.

 

 

We work from nursing care plans, which consist of three stages. Diagnose, plan, and implement. She probably ran thru it in her head.

 

I'll speak for myself and most of the nurses I know. We don't put up with slop - unhealthy habits (eating, sleeping, exercising), lack of motivation, lack of follow through. Nursing is goal and outcome based. You were a bigger project than she wanted to take on at such a young age (and yes, nurses are guilty of taking on projects, often forgetting the basic principle 'people don't change').

None of the bold describe me.

 

OK, my eating habits weren't the best and she tried to get me to change, especially eat more vegetables, but I was doing it and not complaining.

 

I was most certainly not lacking in motivation. I wanted to impress her.