Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 Then why did he get pissed at me when I said if I meet someone who wants to commit while he's on his business trip I'll go out with that guy? He told me he was pissed I said that Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Then why did he get pissed at me when I said if I meet someone who wants to commit while he's on his business trip I'll go out with that guy? He told me he was pissed I said that Because men that don't want to commit still want to have access and the benefits from having an available woman that can give them the attention they need. If you meet someone he loses a woman that's been feeding his ego and staying on the backburner for him. Why would he want to give up someone that requires so little effort to keep around? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Ok, i"m going to try this again. OP, you think he's being difficult in his communication. He's actually being abundantly clear. Its' just hard to decipher when your emotions are involved. That's why you get an outsider to interpret. He's made it extremely clear that work is very important to him. That it is held in a higher regard than a relationship. You have said that you don't think that way. That is a fundamental difference in life goals. It's not something that is easy to overcome. Secondly, you're asking for a rational explanation for a moment of jealousy. Jealousy is an irrational emotion. It has no foundation in logic. Just because he doesn't want to be with you, doesn't mean he's crazy about you being with anyone else, either. You told him what you wanted, and he is not interested. He's told you several times. If you continue to hang around and try to get him to change his mind, he's just going to assume that you're happy with something casual. Then when you get upset that it's something casual, you'll only piss him off, because he'll retaliate with "But I TOLD you, I was only interested in something casual!" (or words to that affect). If this man can't give you what you want, then move on. He's made it abundantly clear - in the ladder of life priorities, you rank below work. If that's unacceptable to you, that cool - you know what you want, and you shouldn't settle. But don't wait around hoping he'll change his mind, because they never do. Ok? Does that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 Yes it does. I just texted him saying I'm going to go on dates with other guys because he hasn't asked me to hang out in awhile. Is it bad I said that? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Yes it does. I just texted him saying I'm going to go on dates with other guys because he hasn't asked me to hang out in awhile. Is it bad I said that? Yes, because you're just attempting to get a rise out of him. You're attempting to get him to change his behaviour by dropping inflammatory comments, and we've already determined that you cannot make someone change their behaviour, you simply need to let them come to that decision on their own. Don't tell him what you're doing, just do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 Yes, because you're just attempting to get a rise out of him. You're attempting to get him to change his behaviour by dropping inflammatory comments, and we've already determined that you cannot make someone change their behaviour, you simply need to let them come to that decision on their own. Don't tell him what you're doing, just do it. Ok. Thanks. I'm just tired of guys right now. I'm tired of the hurt Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Yes it does. I just texted him saying I'm going to go on dates with other guys because he hasn't asked me to hang out in awhile. Is it bad I said that? Yes. You come off emotionally manipulative and immature. Let me tell you OP, men find women that chase, unattractive. Stop this. You're only digging yourself a bigger hole. This is no different from the sunglasses pic and comment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Omg. A man will move mountains to see a girl he is truly into. If this guy met a girl he was crazy about he would not hesitate to have a relationship with her. He likes you. He just isn't smitten with you. You didn't knock his socks off. You are not on his mind a lot. It is really sad that you're making excuses for him. HE IS NOT INTO YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 (edited) Leigh stop. He might not be right now but you don't know the future. No one does. Stop being negative. Edited April 15, 2014 by girlygirl8 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Leigh stop. He might not be right now but you don't know the future. No one does. Stop being negative Blunt delivery or not, she is correct. He has made it clear that he's not interested. There's not much point hoping that "in the future", he might change his mind. It would be much better to take that energy and put it somewhere more constructive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Yes. You come off emotionally manipulative and immature. Let me tell you OP, men find women that chase, unattractive. Stop this. You're only digging yourself a bigger hole. This is no different from the sunglasses pic and comment. That sunglasses picture made me cringe. If this guy REALLY liked her, he'd be in daily contact, even if it was just a "hi I'm thinking about you" text and nothing more per day. If this guy was head over heels for this girl, he would be with her. He wouldn't pull away, he wouldn't ever pull the "I've got a lot going on" card. This girl seriously needs a reality check. men that say "well maybe he has a lot going on" obviously have never me a girl they were NUTS about. One business man drove me 2 hours to work in the morning only to drive the 2 hours back to HIS work. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 I am sorry if I have upset or offended you. I am sure you have a llot of great attributes that the right man would love. This is really not that man. Look, when a girl melts a man's heart, he will move heaven and earth JUST to watch her sleep. Just for 10 minutes with her he would travel hours if she is "it" for him. I am trying to get you to see reality for what it is rather than try to convince yourself that you are better off with a man who acts like this. You are FAR better off only settling for men who are truly into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 (edited) Also capricorns don't rush relationships. One of my good friends is a cap and she said that this guy sounds like her. Even if she's crazy about a guy she doesn't make things official til at least 6 months of knowing him well. She knows this about other caps too. He does make daily contact with me until I told HIM one week ago I'm moving on. And another time he got mad because I got emotional. Those are the only two times we didn't talk. Edited April 15, 2014 by girlygirl8 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Leigh stop. He might not be right now but you don't know the future. No one does. Stop being negative. Yes, you don't know the future. Things may not change. Best to stay NC and start healing from this. At the rate you have behaved in texting him those messages, you may have pushed him further away. Save yourself and stop contact and move on. Accept he's not interested and focus on the now. Don't put your life on hold because you're hopeful. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Also capricorns don't rush relationships. One of my good friends is a cap and she said that this guy sounds like her. Even if she's crazy about a guy she doesn't make things official til at least 6 months of knowing him well. She knows this about other caps too. He does make daily contact with me until I told HIM one week ago I'm moving on. And another time he got mad because I got emotional. Those are the only two times we didn't talk. Please! Now you're reaching. Two of my friends are caps and they were both dating and went onto being married in a span of two years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 Fine. I guess I'm just not good enough and he'll never realize what I'm worth. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 What do you want from this forum OP? You keep arguing and coming up with your own conclusions. If he's so into you, why are you sending pics, threatening to move on, etc. and he's still not fighting for you or even trying to get you back? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Also capricorns don't rush relationships. One of my good friends is a cap and she said that this guy sounds like her. Even if she's crazy about a guy she doesn't make things official til at least 6 months of knowing him well. She knows this about other caps too. He does make daily contact with me until I told HIM one week ago I'm moving on. And another time he got mad because I got emotional. Those are the only two times we didn't talk. Hon, astrological star signs are not personality tests. What star sign he was born under does not bear any weight into how he makes his decisions. For Christssakes, Virgos are supposed to be tidy. You should see my desk at work. My boss, who was born on the same day as me, you should see his! Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 You're right. I'm wrong. I guess he'll never be completely into me. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 You're right. I'm wrong. He'll never be completely into me. And that's fine. There's no law written that we must like everyone in our lives. The image you've portrayed to him, is that you're someone full of drama. Some people feed off that. Others don't. He's in the latter camp. I get it, because I'm like that too. So next time, take on board what you've learned with this guy. Sending passive aggressive snarky "I don't need you" messages isn't going to make a guy fall for you. They're just going to think they've dodged a bullet. Instead, just make it clear, once, what is important to you and what you want (after a reasonable amount of time, of course), and then if they don't step up, that's ok, because you have plenty more options. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 I'm not full of drama. I only get bitter if someone hurts me. You don't know what's going to happen. No one does. I don't like how most of you think that if someone isn't into you 100 percent now they won't be later on Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 I'm not full of drama. I only get bitter if someone hurts me. You don't know what's going to happen. No one does. I don't like how most of you think that if someone isn't into you 100 percent now they won't be later on No one said that. What we're saying is, if he's not into you now, don't you think it's best to move on, and if he decides he's into you later on, you can make a decision that best benefits you? The passive aggressive texts certainly need to stop. You don't need retribution because someone hurts you, you just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 I'm not full of drama. I only get bitter if someone hurts me. You don't know what's going to happen. No one does. I don't like how most of you think that if someone isn't into you 100 percent now they won't be later on OP, the thing is your behavior has made you unattractive to him already. He remembers you as being emotionally manipulative and immature. If he's not into you now, you've pushed him even further away by your behavior. And if he comes back one day with a changed mindset, great. But for now, move on and stay NC. You can't make someone feel attracted to you or see your worth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlygirl8 Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 Ok. I'm just hurting right now so much. My ex of two yrs cheated on me then he cheated on two girls after me. I thought this new guy wouldn't hurt me but he did. He said when he came back from his trip he'd put me near the top of his priorities. He talked to me every day when he came back from his trip but never asked to hang out. It just really makes me feel horrible. I know he's at least physically attracted to me. He said he got excited even just by hugging me and sometimes seeing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 You're right. I'm wrong. I guess he'll never be completely into me. Sweetheart, my friend is a model and a podiatrist; she can't find men who are that into her. You ARE good enough. A man won't just be into every woman he meets, even if she is good looking and awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
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