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if you've been broken up with / broken hearted

barky2

By barky2,
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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barky2

barky2

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Just got my 3rd text in 5 days from my ex. She said "how are you? Just wanted to give you a heads up about our gym class, it starts sep 9th now." Is this a other freaking breadcrumb?? All these breadcrumbs tend to keep the hope alive. I don't need hope. I just want to move on now. Sick of it all.... So freaking frustrated! Why is messing with my head?? Either say "I'm sorry" or leave me the hell alone. That's really what I want to say on my reply!! Damn!

 

Do not respond.

 

If your sick of it and are done....block her damn number.

 

She's dangling a carrot to see if ull bite.

 

Take the ego boost she's giving you...and don't give her any back.

 

 

 

 

Barky

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barky2

barky2

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I didn't know where else to post this... But I think I may finally be at the point where I'm ready to move on and give up on feeling sad or connected to her. I deleted her on social media, and she sent me bitchy messages about it, and I stupidly responded, and she hasn't responded to me. At first that was bothering me but now I realize, what does that matter? It's over. We have no connection to each other left, with social media ties severed, that was the last connection. I can move on now... I'm not sure if this feeling is permanent, as I've gotten close to this point temporarily before, but I feel like I may finally be breaking through to the other side..

 

 

The first step is being ready.

 

For me I was sick of being sad and down and out.

 

I'm a really happy go lucky type of dude who's the life of the party.

 

I said screw it.

 

And begun proper nc to move on and get happy again.

 

Sounds like your there...I commend you

 

 

 

 

Barky

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lovesucks76

lovesucks76

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Do not respond.

 

If your sick of it and are done....block her damn number.

 

She's dangling a carrot to see if ull bite.

 

Take the ego boost she's giving you...and don't give her any back.

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

I had a feeling you'd say that. ;) thanks!!

 

I really wish she would just say what's on her mind. I don't like this approach with the breadcrumbs and all. That way we could just move on with our lives and not look back. I've read somewhere that fear and hope are the 2 main reasons we get stuck in life. I need to face my fear and forget about hope!!

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malin819

malin819

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I had a feeling you'd say that. ;) thanks!!

 

I really wish she would just say what's on her mind. I don't like this approach with the breadcrumbs and all. That way we could just move on with our lives and not look back. I've read somewhere that fear and hope are the 2 main reasons we get stuck in life. I need to face my fear and forget about hope!!

 

I'm in the same situation...she is trying to say something but I'm sure I'll never know what is really on her mind. In the meantime, just focus on yourself and don't let it bother you. I had an encounter with my ex yesterday and it proved me I wasn't ready at all.

 

but hey! Life is a....learning experience :cool:

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barky2

barky2

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When they are ready they will make their intentions very clear.

 

Not vague.

 

Better yourself and continue nc .

 

 

 

 

Barky

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reddragon588

reddragon588

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The first step is being ready.

 

For me I was sick of being sad and down and out.

 

I'm a really happy go lucky type of dude who's the life of the party.

 

I said screw it.

 

And begun proper nc to move on and get happy again.

 

Sounds like your there...I commend you

 

Barky

 

Of course half an hour later I feel the opposite and am sad she didn't respond and our lines of communication are mostly severed lol. But it's a roller coaster, there's going to be ups and downs and some of them will be very short and some will be long! But the fact I'm recognizing those feelings of up is good!

 

And to the other poster, I agree, do not respond! There's not really a whole lot to say back to her anyway. Thanks? I'm sure you knew this information on your own anyway. Just ignore it, there's no substance to what she said to you, so don't give her the ego boost! I broke NC yesterday and didnt get a response and trust me it doesn't make you feel good!

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barky2

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^Exactly why you stay nc.

 

Sometimes you need to put your hand in the fire to realise its hot.

 

 

 

Barky

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lovesucks76

lovesucks76

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I'm in the same situation...she is trying to say something but I'm sure I'll never know what is really on her mind. In the meantime, just focus on yourself and don't let it bother you. I had an encounter with my ex yesterday and it proved me I wasn't ready at all.

 

but hey! Life is a....learning experience :cool:

 

That's the thing...we can't even try to guess because we just don't know what they are thinking so it's better just to do your own thing and forget about them. I do well until I guess a damn text!

 

I had a brief encounter with my ex 10 days after BU. I wasn't ready to see her either and I was surprised we ran into one another. She was as awkward as I was. I tried to play it cool but I think it was obvious I was nervous. After the encounter I could barely remember what had just happened. It was like a dream.

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llleonidus

llleonidus

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Wow barky, your words have kept me strong so much, every time i feel like contacting her iread your thread.

 

We basically broke up over an argument, i promised her i would change ect she didnt respond well to that, so ive gone 10 days nc and getting stronger by the day, although she did go out of town saturday and made her way back for closing time at our local i kept it civil and smiled and waved she was still mad and had a go at me and left i didn't respond, that was almost a week ago, im still hoping she will contact me soon, she has always been chased in the past i refuse to be that guy.

 

Keep them coming buddy, i wish i had a friend close by who gives advice like you do :

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barky2

barky2

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I'm glad my words have had some impact on you.

 

I am close bro, I'm always a post away.

 

Stay strong, ull thank yourself later for it

 

 

 

Barky

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reddragon588

reddragon588

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I just saw an awesome quote that has really inspired me today and I thought I would share.

 

"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."

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shanethewolf

shanethewolf

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This is a really helpful thread and even though I know it to be true, it helps to read it again and again, especially as well written and as concise as this.

 

One thing I have learned is that No Contact is the best solution to all break ups. Pretty much every girlfriend I have done this with has got back to me at some point wanting to re-establish a connection. In some cases, it was 3 weeks. In other cases it was 3 years.

 

After the break up I simply wished them well, went no contact and left them with a dignified memory of me.

 

Of course, I didn't take them all back. In fact, only once did I ever try again. By the time they got back to me I'd lost interest or had moved on with someone more suitable and who I was more in love with.

 

In the break ups where I argued, begged or tried to guilt trip them, or when I tried to be friends, they disappeared forever. And I felt worse for it.

 

Right now I'm going through a recent and painful break up. Although my emotions tell me to chase, beg and get mad at her, my experience tells me to walk away with my head held high.

 

I just thought I'd add my own experience to this thread.

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barky2

barky2

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As is true in my experience

 

Had exs from when I was 14 try and come back..12 years later.

 

Sick sick world. :)

 

 

 

Barky

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barky2

barky2

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Hey guys, if you post your own thread I'll be sure to give my 2 cents aswel as the rest of the community.

 

 

Barky

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William

William

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Hey guys, if you post your own thread I'll be sure to give my 2 cents aswel as the rest of the community.

 

 

Barky

Due to another alert (the preferred method of handling these things), two posts have been moved to their own threads to continue discussion. Thanks.

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barky2

barky2

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Due to another alert (the preferred method of handling these things), two posts have been moved to their own threads to continue discussion. Thanks.

 

Thank you mod, as I'm sure they do aswel.

 

 

 

Barky

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Balance

Balance

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Hey guys, if you post your own thread I'll be sure to give my 2 cents aswel as the rest of the community.

 

 

Barky

Barky, hi,

 

I've been reading your posts for a while, and they're very helpful for those mourning their relationship. You seem like a very sensible guy, and you have a beautiful style: very straightforward and honest.

 

Would you please see my thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/421919-i-met-guy-dating-site-who-lives-600-km-me and share your opinion?

 

I'd appreciate it very much.

 

Balance

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Petunia20

Petunia20

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WOW! Best post I've read so far. Exactly on point!! Made my day!!! I also have This too shall pass tattoed. You're absoluetely right...he wont have the same connection that he did with me because of one simple reason....she is not me!!!

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nasc88

nasc88

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Your post is really helpful. I'll throw one at you quickly. I dated a guy for a year and a half. Never really had a huge blowout fight, got along really well and really enjoyed the same things. He broke up with me because he wasn't sure if he was in it for the long term. I FORCED him into this conversation. He then messaged me every day after - the same day to apologize for being a jerk the night before but everything was weighing on him. Sunday to see how Dexter was etc. He told me I was the most important person in his life and he wanted me to be a part of it - so I said as what you're friend? I can't. So about 5 days after he said he had taken a half day - did I want him to come over? I said why? Will that change anything? He didn't really respond. So I said I had plans that night and we shouldn't speak for a few days. So like clockwork Sunday night he sends me a message "hi." I didn't respond. I sent him a message the next day saying it was the hardest thing I ever did but he didn't to stop contacting me so I could heal. He was the one who ended the relationship and I couldn't take the false hope and the ups and downs. He responded that he was sorry he let me down, he couldn't feel any worse, that his door was always open and he would always care about me. (breadcrumb right?) So I sent him a message by accident the other day - I was screwing around on FB and sent him the "Like" thumbs up. Then a message apologizing for sending it - it was an accident. I mean who would send a Like to his response. So he said "No, worries. Hope all is well." Of course I lost it because it was so cold. So my question for you - 3 weeks of no contact (except for the blunder) and 4 weeks since he broke my heart - do I lick my wounds and move on or is there any chance that he gets over his phobia and we end up together? We literally we best friends for a year and a half and I just miss him. I keep playing the what if game: what if I didn't make him talk to me...what if he had come over that day...it's terrible.

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barky2

barky2

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First off, if you start your own thread, you could get more advice.

 

But since I'm typing, l give you mine.

 

After a breakup you should immediately lick your wounds and heal and let go and move on.

 

Easier said than done, I know ..believe me.

 

What he's doing is relieving his guilt.

 

What you need to do is stop all communication with him

 

Stop responding.

 

If he wanted you in his life, you'd be there.

 

That hurt I know.

 

So if there's any chance of getting back together, like I said LET GO AND MOVE ON, IF AND WHEN THEY WANT YOU BACK IT WILL ONLY HAPPEN WHEN YOU COULDNT CARE LESS.

 

 

 

barky

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