If its meant to be they will come back to you.

[djones]

Hey Sundrop and Kodiak,

 

Thanks again for the story...Kodiak and I have been on here for a while dealing with our breakups and think we both needed that. We both been talking about "if its meant to be it will be" idea.....I guess we both are holding a little flame in our hearts for our exs, but both of us have accepted the idea that they may not come back to us. I was hoping that we would get more stories like the one you told us....I think just for some help for the days when people are feeling low. ....hehe take that leap of faith...easier said than done, i taken many leaps in my life and landed on my face.....a song by by sting comes to mind "if I ever lose my faith"....I kind of feel that now....I have to say though I am feeling better.....I hope more people post some stories that this one...

[kodiak]

drjones-

 

Hey brother its like four in the morning and I had gotten up after having a dream about my ex that kinda shook me up, so I decided to come to the shack and read some stories. Look man it kinda seems to me that you are being a little hard on yourself. Sure I know its easy to do, i do the samething. However I truly caused a lot of the problems in my relationship and my insecurites I had really hurt my ex. So its natural to feel down and like a looser but you know my brother im sure that your ex had her own stuff going on too. Its not all your fault, trust me. I know you are tired of getting burned and taking those leaps of faith, but we have to do this in life. Especially when it comes to finding love we had to kinda put our heart out there and see what happens. Just keep you head up. You see I never had a chance to tell my ex all that i wanted too after she broke up with me and Im not sure if you did either. This might sound crazy but I sometimes get in my car and drive around and talk to myself as if im talking to my ex. I tell her all that i want to tell her. Most of the time I end up crying but I do feel better in the end. You should try this it helps me out alot. Things will turn around for the both of us and everyone else suffering from a broken heart. It might seem like an illusion now but it will happen, im sure of it. Remember this, although you and your ex are not talking, or maybe she is dating someone else, or maybe she doesnt love you anymore right now, nomatter what happens or who we date or who they date if it is meant to be, somewhere down the road you too will find each other.. Thats a gurantee....take care...........Kodiak

[djones]

Hey Kodiak,

 

Thanks for the words, I know whats it like to wake up 4 in the morning I did it today as well. I am feeling better...I started to say to myself that its not my fault and and started to forgive myself for the things that I thgouht I did wrong in the pass with my life...I need to forgive myself I did a lot of damage to my self esteem and I need some help in getting it back...so this is a start for me...well you try to get some sleep I will be around if you need to chat...take care

[Soccer2928]

I am in the position right now where I still love my ex so much, and I really hope that we get back together, but if we don't, I think I will be okay. I haven't given up the hope that we will someday be together again, and I think a small part of me will always feel that way. My situation isn't too positive right now, but I do have a few success stories that involve two of my good friends. My first friend was dumped by his girlfriend because she was confused about her feelings and she needed some time to be by herself. My friend was able to move on and get over his girlfriend, and he honestly thought that their relationship was over for good. However, after more than 4 months of being broken up, his girlfriend realized that she had made a mistake, and they are now back together. They are still young but they constantly talk about getting married, and I am sure they will end up married before long. My other friend broke up with her boyfriend at the beginning of her freshman year of college (he was still a senior in high school), and she went off and had the time of her life in college. She partied hard, met a ton of new people, but in the back of her mind, she thought that she made a mistake by breaking up with her ex. She confessed her true feelings to her ex around Thanksgiving time, but he had already moved on and found someone else. So for the remainder of the year she gave up hope, and her and her ex rarely, if ever, talked. Well it turns out that at the beginning of this summer (about a year since they broke up), my friend's ex contacted her, and they began to build a friendship again. One thing led to another, and both of their true feelings were revealed, and now they are together again too. So it definitely is possible to reunite with your ex. My ex has told me that she still loves me and she still has feelings for me, but she is confused about those feelings. I think she is having a great time being by herself and living up the college life, but I am hoping that once that becomes old, she will realize what she is missing in me, and we will get back together. It may never happen to me, but for those who still hold onto that hope, don't ever give that up because true love will find its way home in the end.

[kodiak]

soccer2928-

 

hey thanks alot bro for those stories, it really helps to hear that stuff. I am a firm beleiver that exes do reunite because i have seen it two. It does happen. It may take weeks, months, even years but it does happen. Your second story confirms to others what I posted earlier and what I firmly beleive in. It doesnt matter what we do with other people, who we date, etc if two people are meant to be they will cross even the barren deserts and the roughest seas to be with each other. Thanks again for the replies and stories it si greatly appreciated!!!!! take Care.......Kodiak.

 

 

Drjones-

 

See my brother it does happen. Just let it go but like I always have told you from the beggining keep that candle of hope flickering in your heart. How have you been doing lately???

[djones]

Hey Kodiak,

 

You are right sometimes they do happen...I still have that little flicker of light in my heart for her..if its meant to be I guess it will be...I am doing good...the odd time I still think about her and then I begin to miss her...I know she knows I miss her, I dont know what she is up to and if this new guy is working out or what ever...I would like to call her but I am going to wait till she calls me...Today was good, i did not get too depressed so its a small step for me....how are you holding out?.....

[kodiak]

Drjones-

 

Well im hanging in there I guess just like you are Im sure. Its tough and somedays are harder than others. I hate holidays like today because I know my ex is probably having her family barbecue like they always do. She might have her new guy there, if she has one. I dont know. Im working so its kinda depressing. My friends and family have been pushing me to call my ex so atleast I keep the lines of communication somewhat open. My mom says that she has that gut feeling in her tomach that I definately should call her and just be short and friendly. So yesterday I left her a message when i knew she would be at work and it was quick and brief. I havnt heard back from her so that kinda sucks. I think she might be angry at me and I will tell you why later and you can give me your thoughts. Its time to eat dinner so I will catch you later........kodiak

[djones]

Kodiak,

 

Yeah, I know what your are going through with the holydays and thinking that she may be with someone else....I have been thinking about that too about my ex. I think your mom is right about calling her, its been a while with the NC and I think it maybe time to keep the communication lines open....hehe my mom said the same and I e- mailed and got he odd messages from her..nothing too detailed just "doing fine etc"....I am still just going forward and living, I still miss her....dont read too much into her not calling you back, maybe she did not get her messages yet or shes just trying to figure out what to say to you...give it a couple of days or a week...yeah let me know why she is angry with you..maybe I can help...take care

[kodiak]

drjones-

 

 

Thanks for the advice about not worrying about her calling me back right away. The ball is in her court now so we will see what happnes. Well this is why i think she might be mad at me. You see she lives in a place where by buddies and i like to go alot so they were all talking about a trip down there. Anyways I sent my ex a stupid text message when i was out partying saying " I was in your town and it was weird not be able to see you" Well I got no reply so I was thinking it was kinda weird. Anyways I went back and read the text message and thought " Oh #$@*&" What I meant to put was "I might be in your town and it would be weird not seeing you" I think that I might have really hurt her feelings because she thinks that I was in town and didnt even bother calling her. Like I said before we still care for each other and endin things on a very good note. I put myself in her shoes and if the roles were reversed I would feel horrible and very angry too. I think that might be the case but I dont know. My mom seems to think that it might have really hurt her feelings. Now that I sit back and think about it, it probably really sucked.. What do you think??

[djones]

Kodiak,

 

I read what you said, I am not clear on when was the text message sent, was it before the break up? or just after? In either case I would think that she would not get mad...perhaps if she sends you a reply from your phone call the other day I would ask her and just explain yourself. If that does not happen ie she calls you....lets try something....next week ie friday send her an e-mail just saying hi how you are doing blah, blah and just say hey I phoned you last week and I got your answering machine and I was not sure if you got it....and leave it at that...at least you know that she got the e-mail (it has to go through)....whereas a message on a answering machine does not work all the time (I remember a few times I had sent my ex when we were together on her answering machine and it did not go though)....I know its wishfull thinking but if you guys left on good terms, I think its worth the effort to send the e-maill. p/s explain in the e-mail just saying hey I dont know if you were angry with the text message just say you were out with the guys and you were not sure if it offended her...

[kodiak]

drjones-

 

 

I hear ya bro. The text message was sent just the other day. I think she would get mad because of the fact that I didnt even call her and say that I was in town. The thing is I wasnt even there but the text made it sound like i was. I mean if she came to my town about 4 hours from her and never let me know that sshe was here or asked if I would wanna grab some casual lunch I would feel bad, like she must hate me. You see we are still very close to each other and the break up hurt us both. She made it a point that I would see her if I ever was in her town. So i dont know, I just think that iy might have hurt her feelings. I will take your advice about the email. I dont know man, I hate all this stuff so much.. Hang in there brother...Kodiak

[djones]

Kodiak,

 

I would send the e-mail...explain your self, if you guys are very close, she will understand, tell her that you wanted to see her, but you were not sure if it was ok with her...you never know.....the worst that can happen is that you lose her...well right now you dont have her...I know its tough my ex and i send the odd e-mails...and it hurts that we are not together...you cant read into someelses emotions...maybe she is not mad at you...I would just tell her that this is hard on you and you were not sure if you should have met up with her at the time you texted her...what you have to lose??.....GOd this does suck I know how you feel man...i am going though the same thing...take care and send the e-mail...atleast you will have a peace of mind that you explained yourself and if she does not reply well you just keep on doing what you have been doing since the break up...

[kodiak]

drjones-

 

 

Thanks again for the reply my brother. Its funny we are like the only two ones posting on this site except for a few others here and there, I think thats cool though. I know buddy this stuff sucks big time. Its like 2 in the morning and Im having one of those miss my ex and cant sleep nights. Sometimes I get really anxious and get so worked up that I get that nauseous feeling in my stomach, do you ever get that? It was really bad at first but now it only happens once in awhile. You know when I called my ex the other day and left her a message I "said that you dont have to call me back because I know you have been really busy looking for a new job and working overtime right now" Now im pissed at myself because I wish I would have said for her to call me when she got a chance. I was just afraid if I did say that and she never called i would feel worse, you know what I mean. Im so confused, part of me wants to call her and have a talk every once in awhile and the other part of me doesnt want to feel hurt when I do talk to her. Its a double edged sword!!!!! Anyways I just hope that it all passes soon, its been three months today and she still occupies my thoughts alot. Talking to that new girl has really helped me out I think, who knows??? Well I guess whatever happens it is for a reason and it is meant to happen that day, just like this thread says. Hey drjones, how long have you been broken up for now and how long did you too date for, I dont remember.. Take Care....Kodiak

[nikkicam71]

couldn't remember where you guys were, so I posted under another thread. Maybe if you have time you can look at my link, and give me your thoughts?

 

Thanks

 

~Nikki

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t47253/

[djones]

Hey Kodiak,

 

I know what you mean about the sleepless nights and the nausea you feel...I had them during the day, I could not eat....I would eat something and them if I get a thgouht of her I would have dry heaves...it was hard I dont get them often now..but I just that I miss her and it happens...We had been togther for about close to 6 months....and broke up with be close to 2 months now...we do the e-mail thing the odd time the last one she sent me she said she misses me and would like to meet me for coffee...I did not know what to say about coffee, so I told her after my exam (which is tommorw) that we could meet up for lunch/coffee then...this e-mail was like 2 weeks ago....so we will see.....yeah I know what you mean about the doulbe edge sword thing I was thinking the same when she asked me for coffee....lucky i had an excuse that she knew I had my exam soon....but I dont know I am thinking I will still meet up with her....I dont know I still miss her and I know she does too...the distance is what killed us...but I dont know about the guy she is seeing...i dont thik its serious,, and the only thing this guy has up on me is that he lives close to her...well I am not going to give too much hope in it, just play it by ear....

for you now that i know what you said...i think you can call her this week...you kind of told her not to call you...so now you still have to make the first move again....for the other girl keep talking to her...its helping you...take care

 

 

p/s nikkicam71...i will read your post and let you know what i think

[Butterfli]

Okay, I need an opinion from the guys. I just broke up with my BF. The reason was because I felt he was cheating on me. He moved and wouldn't tell me where he lived because he felt that I would come over with drama and since he supposedly stays with his bosses brother, he didn't want that to happen. he also has never taken me to see his family, which live in Kansas, stating that he was afraid that I would embarrass him or something.

 

I reminded him that the only drama I gave him was when his roommate told me he was cheating on me and I found evidence by email that he was. Yes, I did throw his stuff on the doorstep, and leave crazy messages on his pager and phone, but he was cheating on me. He denied it, but I had caught him in so many lies that I couldn't believe that.

 

He says that the cause of the trouble in our relationship was my insecurites about his faithfulness. That it cause him to pull away from me and seek other women. I gave him that. And I changed. But his behavior is still the same. Secrets, evasive behavior about what he is doing with his time. He goes out of town every weekend and wont take me.

 

The list goes on. he became hurtful in his words to me, insulting almost. I just want to know that I am justified in not feeling bad about breaking up with him. I do believe that love should not be this emotional roller coaster. And I am glad to be off.

 

The one reason why I kinda feel bad, because I think what if my drama did drive him away and he was trying to make it work. I don't know. I just don't think I am the type of person that is difficult to love. I did everything for him. Bent over backward in some cases, but he still had that complaint. What women do you know that doesn't get emotional when she is upset???

 

Anyway, I think he was cheating and just wa using those excuses to cover it up

 

What do you think???

[nikkicam71]

Drjones...I'd really appreciate it :-) I spoke with him again this afternoon. I caved in and called him. I guess part of me wanted to see if he "meant it," even though he didn't come out and say it. He seemed much more casual. I think maybe he was just having a moment the other night. In the meantime, I've sunk into that horrible, lonely space again...just missing him and feeling so empty.

 

Leave it to the new guy to go into his hole for a week, ,just when the ex barges back in and throws me into emotional turmoil! I can't remember feeling so lonely -yes I can, right after he broke up with me :-(

 

I hate him.

 

~Nikki

[djones]

Hey nikkicam71,

 

Just hang in there and take care of yourself, thats one thing I was told here and I have been doing that and I am getting better, I dont hurt as much as i did before, it is true give it time and you will be better and hopefully we find happiness soon...take care

[ojibwaywmn]

Originally posted by Butterfli

 

Anyway, I think he was cheating and just wa using those excuses to cover it up

 

What do you think???

 

You hit the nail on the head gf. Learn from the experience and take care of yourself.

[djones]

Hey Butterfli,

 

I totaly agree with ojibwaywmn, I think you were right in thinking he is cheating on you. The way I see it if you are in a reltionship you dont have keep secrets from your other half, you should have nothing to hide. For example if I was going out with the guys and she asked me where I would tell her, I dont care I am not going out to look for someone else, the way I see it is I found the right girl for me and why should I make her feel insecure by not telling her things...that just the way i am...take care

[ziggue]

My Ex from about a year ago and his girlfriend broke up for a while. (They were together 4 years). Then he met me. Went out and it was great. Then he started having feelings for his Ex again.

 

Left me heartbroken and went back to her again. (They have a baby daughter). I reckon for good now. Funny how he being with me helped their relationship get better. . That was the first time I ever had a broken heart and been dumped. It was awful.

 

Doesn't matter now because I've got someone who has no attatchments, kids as well to anyone else and is totally mine. .

 

Guess that is one twisted happy ending.

[NatoPMT]

here's a happy ending for you...

 

My sister met her husband in 1989, in 1992 he slept with her best friend, they were going through problems and he behaved badly. She found out 2 months later, packed her bags and left London for Australia, lived in the outback for 2 years. He flew over to see her twice but she was so busy trying to get over him she didnt have space for him, so he left her in Oz. She came back to london, they met up to collect some belongings off each other and by that time they were 'over' each other, but they still felt attraction. They got drunk, slept together and since all the resentment and anger had dissipated in the 2 year absence, they were able to start aagain. They got married in '99, when i see them together now they are an inspiration to me, they treat each other so well, they are the most in love i have ever seen a married couple. I hope i am that lucky, but without what took them there.

 

BB

[djones]

Hey BigBelm and ziggue,

 

Thanks for posting those nice stories, it helps to know that good things do happen....I have been doing good, my ex contacted me and just wants to be friends she siad this is all that she can do for me now...so I am not expecting much more and I am just fixing my self up...it hurts though I still miss her and want her back so bad...some times I feel empty..

[djones]

Hey Kodiak,

 

How have you been doing, I have not hear from you in a while....I hope all is well, I am ok, Ihad a talk with the ex today I wanted to get back with her...she called me to say hi....well all she said is that all she can be is my firend now...so I guess thats all that will happen with us...she is "seeing" someone but she has not talked to him in couple of days...I dont think is interested in him, but she will not let up that she is seeing someone what I mean is I think she is just using it as an excuse...but I dont know....I know she does not like him, but I cant change her mind...so I guess I just have to let it be....it sucks...I hate being like this......

[nikkicam71]

Yo..just a hint, if she is "seeing" someone, that means she is SEEING someone. She tries to downplay it to keep you hanging, but she is INVOLVED. honestly, just let it go. It is someone she likes, but isn't sure about yet...so she wants to keep you hanging on until she figures it out. it's like a security blanket....whether you do or don't, nothing is going to change her mind but HER. just let it go. if she really has feelings for you, she will be back.if she doesn't, better to know now, right?

 

~N