Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

[Lonely Ronin]

Women, on the other hand, treat their male colleagues the same, regardless of what they look like.

 

Sorry Iris, but I need to disagree with you here. I have seen female coworkers act differently towards me, than they do towards some of my more homely male coworkers. I think the real difference is that women aren't so overtly obvious about it.

[FitChick]

You have two choices:

 

1. Change Society

2. Change yourself.

 

I know which one I would choose.

[FitChick]

#1 reason. Baggage.

#2: How younger women act compared to women in their 40's. Energy level

#3: Body: Wrinkles are a only a fraction of what signifies a woman as older.

Those are the exact reasons women over 40, including me, tend to date younger men. Just goes to show that age is irrelevant when it comes to attraction, for the most part. Breeders are the exception.

Edited January 5, 2013 by FitChick

[PJKino]

This is just descending into another "men have it hard and nobody cares" thread.

 

Elswyth nailed it earlier in the thread and conveniently it got ignored.

 

 

 

I completely identify and sympathize with the guys who struggle in terms of accepting the way they look. But when they constantly whine about it, it gets tiring and people lose sympathy for them. That's why they get no pity. The reason why I don't see it much in real life is because guys generally either hide their insecurity or they aren't insecure at all. Most of the guys I know seem pretty comfortable with how they look and aren't worried at all. They still get women. Don't know a guy who struggles outside of a few.

 

Still, the lack of pity is due to that same pity being exhausted and also its hard to pity a guy who blames women's "shallow standards" for his dating problems.

 

I dont know theyres plenty of threads about how shallow men are and how unrealistic their stadndards of beauty are..starting with well this thread:laugh: its just annoys people more when men do it for some reason

 

Plus factor in most women who complain here about not attracting men have had relationships and some basically are compalinign about lack of male attention and attracting men WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP like an aformentioned legendary female poster

 

The guys here who have trouble attracting women cant seem to get one date!

[iris219]

There is a huge market for it. Just off the top of my head:

 

-bodybuilding supplements

-steroids

-finasteride/dutasteride/minoxidil(hair loss)

-gym memberships... how many women do you see in the gym furiously working out?

-elevator shoes

 

In fact the main reason zyzz got into steroids was because he couldn't get girls

 

http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/7/78/Zyzz-Progress2.jpg

 

I suspect the reason why men don't wear makeup is because it doesn't have nearly the same impact on men. An ugly male face with makeup is still an ugly male face.

 

What you listed above is not common for most men. None of my BFs (and I lived with two of them) had steroids, bodybuilding supplements, or elevator shoes! There may be a market for the stuff you listed but it is nowhere near what the market is for female beauty products.

 

My gym is mostly women, maybe 70%. The classes I do are nearly 100% women. In these classes, I've heard the women talking about how they wish they could get their husbands to come to the gym. I've been the more active one is every relationship I've been in except one. I'm the one in the gym busting my a**, alongside a bunch of other women.

[terlislee]

I think it's the other way round and there's much more pressure on women to look good than on men, it's always been like this. Beauty is one of the most common characteristic when describing an individual woman. They are by definition the "fairer gender" it's just how society is. Girls get compliments and comments on their looks since they are children, boys not so much. I'd always make a compliment about my female friends' appearance when I see them, I almost never do that with the men when meeting them. Even when my boyfriend is hot I hardly go around telling him that, I expect him to know I'm attracted to him and for him being confident with himself, insecurity about one's looks is a turn off in men, we don't want them to be vulnerable about such things. Physical beauty throughout history has been one of the deciding factors based on which woman's desirability was measured and upon which they are being judged every day. Whereas when it comes to males other qualities are much more important, notice how when describing the "real" "perfect" "ideal" man looks are seldom mentioned.

 

It's easier to blame your lack of success with girls on their shallowness and whatnot than to admit it's the absence of the other qualities that's the real reason behind your failure. Hotness, attractiveness, chemistry, charisma, spark, sex-appeal, desirability are all relative and subjective and consist of billion different factors and honestly almost anyone can be that or have that. The same goes for being negative, bitter, lazy, uninteresting, bland, insecure, boring, physically repulsive due to lack of care, arrogant, self-pitying, hateful and judgmental. The first requires action the other passivity and guess what for the most part they are mutually exclusive.

Edited January 5, 2013 by terlislee

[mesmerized]

I think it's the other way round and there's much more pressure on women to look good than on men, it's always been like this. Beauty is one of the most common characteristic when describing an individual woman. They are by definition the "fairer gender" it's just how society is. Girls get compliments and comments on their looks since they are children, boys not so much. I'd always make a compliment about my female friends' appearance when I see them, I almost never do that with the men when meeting them. Even when my boyfriend is hot I hardly go around telling him that, I expect him to know I'm attracted to him and for him being confident with himself, insecurity about one's looks is a turn off in men, we don't want them to be vulnerable about such things. Physical beauty throughout history has been one of the deciding factors based on which woman's desirability was measured and upon which they are being judged every day. Whereas when it comes to males other qualities are much more important, notice how when describing the "real" "perfect" "ideal" man looks are seldom mentioned.

 

It's easier to blame your lack of success with girls on their shallowness and whatnot than to admit it's the absence of the other qualities that's the real reason behind your failure. Hotness, attractiveness, chemistry, charisma, spark, sex-appeal, desirability are all relative and subjective and consist of billion different factors and honestly almost anyone can be that or have that. The same goes for being negative, bitter, lazy, uninteresting, bland, insecure, boring, physically repulsive due to lack of care, arrogant, self-pitying, hateful and judgmental. The first requires action the other passivity and guess what for the most part they are mutually exclusive.

 

Ok now this is bit too much on the other side. looks are often if not not always mentioned when describing a "perfect" male. Let's just be realistic.

[somedude81]

I think it's the other way round and there's much more pressure on women to look good than on men, it's always been like this. Beauty is one of the most common characteristic when describing an individual woman. They are by definition the "fairer gender" it's just how society is. Girls get compliments and comments on their looks since they are children, boys not so much. I'd always make a compliment about my female friends' appearance when I see them, I almost never do that with the men when meeting them. Even when my boyfriend is hot I hardly go around telling him that, I expect him to know I'm attracted to him and for him being confident with himself, insecurity about one's looks is a turn off in men, we don't want them to be vulnerable about such things. Physical beauty throughout history has been one of the deciding factors based on which woman's desirability was measured and upon which they are being judged every day. Whereas when it comes to males other qualities are much more important, notice how when describing the "real" "perfect" "ideal" man looks are seldom mentioned.

 

It's easier to blame your lack of success with girls on their shallowness and whatnot than to admit it's the absence of the other qualities that's the real reason behind your failure. Hotness, attractiveness, chemistry, charisma, spark, sex-appeal, desirability are all relative and subjective and consist of billion different factors and honestly almost anyone can be that or have that. The same goes for being negative, bitter, lazy, uninteresting, bland, insecure, boring, physically repulsive due to lack of care, arrogant, self-pitying, hateful and judgmental. The first requires action the other passivity and guess what for the most part they are mutually exclusive.

Who puts pressure on women to look good?

 

Why are men expected to know they look good (and don't need compliments) while women need them? Why are women allowed to be insecure?

Ok now this is bit too much on the other side. looks are often if not not always mentioned when describing a "perfect" male. Let's just be realistic.

Holy hell, I actually agree with mes on something

[somedude81]

We are just like most animals in that the males are much more ornate and in a sense "beautiful" than the females. Human females are pretty plain compared to males, and it is the females who select the males with the most ornate features.

 

Just look at this comparison of two aesthetically very attractive faces:

 

http://www.picvalley.net/u/2623/195630730216289507311357426665qPnjkcxtLFUevvLxJWMi.PNG

Disagree.

 

Lips, eyes, cheeks, nose. Those are the features of a woman's face that make her attractive.

 

Then women have hair which is nothing more than a huge decoration.

 

Women's body, the hourglass figure is considered attractive and appealing to both men and women.

 

Lastly, the clothing. Watch any movie with a formal event and all men are basically wearing the same tuxedo suit while women wear amazing dresses.

 

Men are the plainer sex.

[KungFuJoe]

I actually think men have more to work with when it comes to making their appearance better. Women have make up but for make up to really work, you have to already have good features.

 

Men on the other hand...they can hide a weak jawline with facial hair. A low or high brow with their hairstyle (women can do this, too but I think to a lesser extent). A mustache can "shorten" a long face, etc.

 

Men also have more clothes than can compliment a body size. Women pretty much need to be VERY fit to be able to wear sexy, tight clothing.

[crude]

 

Lastly, the clothing. Watch any movie with a formal event and all men are basically wearing the same tuxedo suit while women wear amazing dresses.

 

Men are the plainer sex.

 

Don't women have to paint their faces and dress fancy BECAUSE they're so plain to begin with?

[somedude81]

Don't women have to paint their faces and dress fancy BECAUSE they're so plain to begin with?

I believe that makeup is unnecessary for the vast majority of women.

 

If a woman is hot without makeup, she's hot with it. If a woman is unattractive because she's too overweight, makeup isn't going to help.

[KungFuJoe]

Facial structure, especially jawline is very important in men/women.

[Mrlonelyone]

I think we are overlooking one obvious fact about what attracts women to a man.

 

Women are attracted as much by a mans status with other people as by his physical qualtities.

 

This has always been the case. Probably going back well into our evolution as this is the way it is with Chimps. The man/men who were able to marshall the other members of their group had power. Power is a well known Aphrodisiac.

 

While being big and strong and a bully was one road to power.

 

Having the political ability, or hard to acquire skills was another. Time and again in human evolution the species/ groups with more skills survived. Even if that simply meant being able to invent a better spear/ bow&arrow with which to hunt prey and people.

 

Men can control how attractive they are to women by becomming more succesful and powerful than other men. Gain education, gain money, gain experience, and wise women will choose you.

 

Unwise women will choose men based on spur of the moment consideration and how hot they look. Remember gents evolution not only chooses the best men, but it chooses the best women by the man they pick.

[xxoo]

It sounds like some of the men here aren't attracted to the softness female facial features

 

That would explain a LOT of the dating issues.

[Necromancer]

Confidence only makes you act and use opportunities.

 

It does not make you "sexy", unless in rare cases. After all most people are average joes, that high level of confidence that it would change your dating life would have to be ridiculous.

 

Confidence= success.

 

People with acne have lower self esteem than those who don't. Looks = affects mostly how your self esteem will be. Ugly people are way more depressed than beautiful people.

 

Lack of looks = low confidence.

 

Looks = Confidence.

[Treasa]

Then how have I dated guys who weren't very good looking who had amazing personalities?

[Treasa]

None of what you said makes any sense unless you allow it to control how you feel. If I'm ugly (by whose standards, by the way?), I love myself. If I'm pretty, I still love myself. I always have. Even when I looked like I got beaten with the ugly stick.

 

By the way, who is in possession of this mythical scale that gives us all a rating on how we look? Because there are men and women out there that others go nuts for, and I raise an eyebrow and say, "I don't get it." And vice versa. Clearly I am missing something super important because I make my own decisions...

 

My happiness doesn't reside within how I look. Or what others think of how I look.

[Anela]

Well, not that I'm one of the beautiful people, but this isn't true. There are insecure people out there who are very good-looking; my sister is one of them. She's very pretty, but is also socially-phobic and doesn't have a lot of people in her life. She knows that she's pretty, but she lacks confidence in other ways; she puts a lot of work into maintaining how good she looks.

 

She's told me in the past that people seem to like me more than they do her, which is untrue. I can be very shy, but I'm more easygoing than she is.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My brother looks like male model and he is incredibly insecure about his looks. He thinks that any pretty girl would cheat on him and dump him, so he deliberately goes for girls that have few options...

[Mrlonelyone]

Personality no.

 

Power, prestige, money, accomplishments, status yes.

 

Take a look at Bill Clinton's goofy looking face and ask yourself would he have been half as big a womanizer if he wasn't the President of the United States of America?

[phineas]

Personality no.

 

Power, prestige, money, accomplishments, status yes.

 

Take a look at Bill Clinton's goofy looking face and ask yourself would he have been half as big a womanizer if he wasn't the President of the United States of America?

 

To be fair to billy boy, he did most of his womanizing BEFORE he became president.

[phineas]

Then how have I dated guys who weren't very good looking who had amazing personalities?

 

cataracts? LOL!

 

My buddy is fat yet gets with super hot women & dresses like a slob.

He also in smart, has a great personality,lot's of friends, is tall, & makes good money.

[Mrlonelyone]

To be fair to billy boy, he did most of his womanizing BEFORE he became president.

 

When he was merely the governor of a state. The next best thing to president of the nation.

[PogoStick]

Good looks don't make up for lack of personality either. Women constantly turn down hot guys who are lacking upstairs.