I want to watch my wife have sex with other men.

[ShareHer]

potential loss of her husband and her five children,

 

FIVE children? Are they all of your doing or from a previous marriage/relationship? I now tend to agree with you when you say she won't act on her bi-sexual tendancies. When would she find time!

 

Hmmmmm, quoting the bible, "He who has ears, let him hear" and "Verily, verily I say unto you", Verse 4:, Verse 5:, Verse 6:, Matthew 19:9, etc, etc, etc

 

I hadn't intended my poor little thread to turn into a bible study class. I just wanted women to respond with their feelings on having sexual freedom in a marriage. I suppose I should've worded the question better.

[Moose]

And all five of the kids, 3 boys and 2 girls are of OUR doing, together, we've been married since we were 18 years old, we're both 37 now. And you're right, she is a busy women. But, she's not anchored down to them either. They pretty much take care of themselves anymore now.

 

I'm not trying to make your thread a bible study either.....Iwould took a quote from the bible, that's not a good thing to do in a debate involving a Christian.....would you agree?

 

Try to have a good day today guys.

[HokeyReligions]

Good Grief! Moose & ShareHer---Please, stop making this whole thread a contest between you two. Neither of you will win. There is some interesting information and peeks into different viewpoints here and it keeps getting mucked up with taunts and not-so-subtle put-downs. Those things do not lend credence to either one of your positions!

 

Moose, I'm not a religious person. But I'm trying to see your viewpoint. You accept and acknowledge that you and your wife have feelings and thoughts that are considered wrong or a sin in the Christian God's eyes based on whatever religious sect you follow---is that right so far? You have not mentioned suppression, because that is not what you are talking about. Those feelings or thoughts about bisexuality need to be, or should be, cleansed and not suppressed. The cleansing comes from God--not you, not your wife. God gave your wife the ability to help Him cleanse her by giving her the freedom of choice (free will) and in order for her to help God, she must not act upon the fantasies, or thoughts, or feelings which she (and you) believe to be sinful. Is that right? That's as much sense as I can make out of all of these posts. I do not consider that suppression either because of your faith. Just because another person (not necessarily ShareHer—just any other person or persons) does not, or cannot see it your way, does not invalidate your belief in any way. If you know that its not suppression, then its not. Someone else’s definition does not matter. Just like faith.

 

ShareHer, I don't agree with your lifestyle---but there are a lot of lifestyles I don't agree with and there are a lot of people who don't agree with mine. It's no big deal. If you and your wife are happy with your marriage, and you are not harming anyone, then its no one's business but yours. I think somewhere I said that I would not like to have other men---in answer to your original question. A fantasy? Sure, a MM/W threesome is something I have occasionally fantasized about, but I would NEVER even think about trying to make it happen. The fantasy would be destroyed for me. It’s not something I even think about very often. Over the years I've talked with several women and most said the same thing -- fantasy yes, reality NO WAY. Some people never have, or haven’t yet, fantasized about a three-way.

 

If my husband ever suggested it to me in any seriousness I would feel ill because I attach an emotional significance to our marriage that a three-some would destroy. BTW: I did ask my husband if he had ever thought about it and we discussed it a bit, he said he felt it was sick and perverted. He also said that he felt if a man wanted that he should just buy two hookers, because that is total disrespect and demonstrates a man who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Why get married? A wife that would tolerate that needs serious help because as far as he is concerned, that is abuse pure and simple. That is his view and he is entitled to it. It’s not right for him. He would never do it.

 

Neither of you are wrong nor should either of you try to convince the other to change. If you cannot see or accept the other’s POV by now, quit trying. You are not accomplishing anything except to keep the moderators busy editing posts!

[Fayebelle]

Quite right Hokey- that's why I stopped posting here. It just became too argumentitive.

[Moose]

Hokey, you hit the nail on the head!!! Thanks!!! Now, if they can't catch on with that post.....they never will.

[ShareHer]

I'm not trying to make your thread a bible study either.....Iwould took a quote from the bible, that's not a good thing to do in a debate involving a Christian.....would you agree?

You mis-typed your question (would took) so I can't quite understand what you were asking. If you're implying that it was me quoting from the bible, it wasn't because firstly, I don't know any quotes from the bible and secondly, I only read non-fiction so I wouldn't know any.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

Good Grief! Moose & ShareHer---Please, stop making this whole thread a contest between you two.

Once he realizes that there are a number of people (not just me) that he is debating with and he stops believing that I am the ONLY person that doesn't see eye to eye with him, this won't seem so much like a one on one debate. I am perfectly happy discussing only the topic subject matter.

 

A fantasy? Sure, a MM/W threesome is something I have occasionally fantasized about, but I would NEVER even think about trying to make it happen. The fantasy would be destroyed for me.

A fantasy to me is no more than a desire. I had a desire/fantasy to go to a topless beach with my wife. We lived that out last year and it was sexy as hell. The fantasy isn't ruined for me. Actually, now it's enhanced and sexier than ever. My opinion is (and notice I did state "my opinion") if you lived out your fantasy, the only way it would be ruined is if somehow the 3way sexual encounter didn't go well. You'll never know how the encounter would work out because you'll never try it and because you think it would be a disaster. I'll bet if you guys tried it and it (somehow) rocked your world, your fantasy wouldn't be ruined.

 

Analogy: Many people say that they would never, ever try sushi because it's disgusting. I was one of those people for a long time. Why would I want to put raw fish in my mouth? I even thought it was just some yuppy fad that would pass. Somehow, I made myself try it just for the hell of it and know what I found? It is fantastic!!! It was nothing like I thought it would be like and now I could eat it 3 times a week and not get tired of it.

 

Sex outside of the marriage is taught. People aren't born with that concept, it is taught to them. No one was ever born knowing what the rules of marriage are supposed to be. Another human being taught them what they thought the rules were. Again, -it is my opinion- that if you were raised in, say, a Mormon community, having multiple partners wouldn't seem so unusual to you. I'm not going to judge you because you choose not to have multiple partners. That is your choice.

[HokeyReligions]

Originally posted by ShareHer

Once he realizes that there are a number of people (not just me) that he is debating with and he stops believing that I am the ONLY person that doesn't see eye to eye with him, this won't seem so much like a one on one debate. I am perfectly happy discussing only the topic subject matter.

 

YOU are making this a contest. In your desire to convince everyone that your way is the best way, you are not following your own advice and trying to understand what others are saying. Can you not accept that your opinion is right for YOU and not for everyone? WHY is it so important for you to 'make people realize' anything? Honestly, what does it matter to you, or to anyone, what others believe? You are arguing with people on the internet for cryin' out loud! What do you hope to gain?

 

A fantasy to me is no more than a desire. I had a desire/fantasy to go to a topless beach with my wife. We lived that out last year and it was sexy as hell. The fantasy isn't ruined for me. Actually, now it's enhanced and sexier than ever. My opinion is (and notice I did state "my opinion") if you lived out your fantasy, the only way it would be ruined is if somehow the 3way sexual encounter didn't go well. You'll never know how the encounter would work out because you'll never try it and because you think it would be a disaster. I'll bet if you guys tried it and it (somehow) rocked your world, your fantasy wouldn't be ruined.

 

That's fine. A fantasy TO YOU is not what a fantasy is to me. You are entitled to your opinion. Your opinion is wrong for me. I have a different moral code than you do. I'm not saying it's better or worse. It is my own moral code and I know what is best for me. I stand firmly by what I said before. You would lose your bet in my case and I'll hazard a guess that you would lose that bet to a LOT of people. Just because its right for you, doesn't make it right for everyone and it doesn't mean you know more than others, or that you know others better than they know themselves.

 

I think it's your argumentative and demeaning way of writing that is turning off some people. You seem to be on a mission to convince others that you are perfectly in the right. Maybe you are trying to convince yourself of something else?

 

Analogy: Many people say that they would never, ever try sushi because it's disgusting. I was one of those people for a long time. Why would I want to put raw fish in my mouth? I even thought it was just some yuppy fad that would pass. Somehow, I made myself try it just for the hell of it and know what I found? It is fantastic!!! It was nothing like I thought it would be like and now I could eat it 3 times a week and not get tired of it.

 

Trying sushi is probably not against anyone's moral code. There is no one else involved except you. You are comparing apples and oranges here. No analogy. If I know something is bad for me, or against my beliefs, or goes against my moral code, or I know I would not like--why would I do it? Because someone else said its great? No, that is a sophomoric reason and I know better than that. Living a fantasy that is in violation of the VOWS I took when I married is wrong. Period. Full Stop. You said your marriage vows were different and your fantasy can be acted upon without violating that contract. A marriage is a contract. So what is the big argument anyway?

 

How about if I said to you that celibacy is absolutely the best. All that sexual tension and the hormones can be channelled into such higher pursuits of happiness. That the sheer and total completeness that I feel goes so far beyond the most powerful orgasm that I ever had, I will never go back to having sex again. There is no getting bogged down is useless physical activity and sweat when I can think clearer, be happier, be more fulfilled on a spiritual (not religious, I'm agnostic) level. My husband and I are closer then we ever thought possible. We have connected on a level that most people probably never reach---if they did, they would never divorce. Try celibacy for a few years and you'll see. Would you try it?

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

YOU are making this a contest. In your desire to convince everyone that your way is the best way,

Where do I specifically say that my way is the best? I may have said I like it but I never said it was the best.

 

Can you not accept that your opinion is right for YOU and not for everyone? WHY is it so important for you to 'make people realize' anything? Honestly, what does it matter to you, or to anyone, what others believe?

So what you're saying is that I should keep my opinion to myself. I should keep all my thoughts to myself. Everyone should keep their opinions to themselves. They should keep all their thoughts to themselves. That would make for a pretty boring forum if you ask me. ooops, no one asked me. I forgot.

 

 

You are arguing with people on the internet for cryin' out loud!What do you hope to gain?

Last time I checked YOU were arguing with people(me) on the internet as well. You were trying to make YOUR point. Am I here telling you to stop making YOUR point? Hell no. You're entitled to make your point or restate your point as often as you like as long as you don't break the forum rules. If my thread and my posts bother you so much, why bother reading and responding? It wouldn't be so difficult for you to ignore it/me. You yourself have a desire to argue and prove your point so you keep responding.

 

 

 

I think it's your argumentative and demeaning way of writing that is turning off some people.

It is your opinion that my writing style is argumentative and demeaning. That is the way you choose to interpret it. Those people that are turned off by my posts aren't being forced to read them. I'm not starting dozens of threads about this lifestyle and forcing people to scroll down the screen forever to get to the ones they want to read.

 

Maybe you are trying to convince yourself of something else?

And by continuosly responding to my posts, maybe YOU are trying to convince yourself of something else.

Trying sushi is probably not against anyone's moral code. There is no one else involved except you. You are comparing apples and oranges here. No analogy.

If you were taught that it was against your moral code it probably would be. Masturbation involves no one else except you but there are a number of posters here that would tell you it's not right. If you were taught that masturbation was morally incorrect, I suppose you would never ever try that either. Someone else said its great but you of course think that listening to anyone else's advice/opinions/thoughts is sophmoric.

 

 

How about if I said to you that celibacy is absolutely the best. All that sexual tension and the hormones can be channelled into such higher pursuits of happiness. That the sheer and total completeness that I feel goes so far beyond the most powerful orgasm that I ever had, I will never go back to having sex again. There is no getting bogged down is useless physical activity and sweat when I can think clearer, be happier, be more fulfilled on a spiritual (not religious, I'm agnostic) level. My husband and I are closer then we ever thought possible. We have connected on a level that most people probably never reach---if they did, they would never divorce. Try celibacy for a few years and you'll see. Would you try it?

 

My answer? No, I wouldn't try it. There ya go. I answered the question. Did I tell you to stop trying to convince me of anything? No. Did I get all in a huff because you spent a whole paragraph praising the virtues of celibacy? No. Will I be upset if you try to convince me or others in future posts? No. Would I waste my typing skills and try to place a guilt complex back on you by writing "Maybe you are trying to convince yourself of something else?" No again.

 

Oh, and if most of the people in my world constantly praised celibacy, yeah maybe I would consider finding out what all the excitement was all about.

[Iwould]

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

 

Just because another person (not necessarily ShareHer—just any other person or persons) does not, or cannot see it your way, does not invalidate your belief in any way. If you know that its not suppression, then its not. Someone else’s definition does not matter. Just like faith.

 

I think I also acknowledged his right to his religion and opinions, but denial just doesnt seem to me like a good way to deal with problems, only a way of trying to avoid them. Again, his first statement was "she better keep them to herself", then it changed to "she should share them with me and God". He doesnt know with any more surety than anyone else what she should do. I hope she can figure that out for herself and not let him try to lead her.

 

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

I think somewhere I said that I would not like to have other men---in answer to your original question. A fantasy? Sure, a MM/W threesome is something I have occasionally fantasized about, but I would NEVER even think about trying to make it happen. The fantasy would be destroyed for me. It’s not something I even think about very often. Over the years I've talked with several women and most said the same thing -- fantasy yes, reality NO WAY. Some people never have, or haven’t yet, fantasized about a three-way.

 

I find it hard to believe that anyone who has ever enjoyed sex hasn't at one time or another thought "gee, if one is so much fun, I wonder if two would double my pleasure!"

 

I understand what you mean if at this point in your life you only like fantasizing about it, but obviously your husband wouldnt accept it. If he was open to it, and you could be COMPLETELY assured that his feelings for you wouldnt change, would you entertain the possibility of trying it?

 

 

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

 

If my husband ever suggested it to me in any seriousness I would feel ill because I attach an emotional significance to our marriage that a three-some would destroy. BTW: I did ask my husband if he had ever thought about it and we discussed it a bit, he said he felt it was sick and perverted. He also said that he felt if a man wanted that he should just buy two hookers, because that is total disrespect and demonstrates a man who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Why get married? A wife that would tolerate that needs serious help because as far as he is concerned, that is abuse pure and simple.

 

Did you consider that he might have said it was sick and perverted because you might not want to hear any other answer? Of course, again, I dont know your husband, but lots of people keep their fantasies secret from their mates because they fear the sort of "hellfire and damnation" reactions they would get from Moose.

 

How did you feel about your husband saying he thinks a man should pay a prostitute?

Dont most women think its unacceptably exploitive for a man to go out paying for sex?

 

It seems theres a problem (IMHO, no offense intended as I do NOT know your husband) if your husband thinks having a threesome can only be about a mans selfish desires. As we've already established, women can want that too!

 

See, this is what I'm talking about, its just plain dysfunctional if a woman wants to do something kinky, and her husband wants to do something kinky, and they can't do something kinky together because he feels it would only be for him, or he feels he must go out and hire a prostitute for crying out loud!

 

To me, its a "no wonder" why alot of women feel betrayed by their husbands going out and soliciting sex from a prostitute. If he locks up the woman he supposedly loves and cherishes in some chastity belt and denies her access to her natural sexuality while he goes out and fulfills his fantasy with harlots, why shouldnt she be livid!? And men as well. If your wife fulfills her fantasies without you because you cant handle them, wouldnt you be angry?! (not YOUR wife, Moose, as you've already established that it is definitely not even in the realm of the remotest margin of earthly possibility)

 

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

That is his view and he is entitled to it. It’s not right for him. He would never do it. Neither of you are wrong nor should either of you try to convince the other to change. If you cannot see or accept the other’s POV by now, quit trying. You are not accomplishing anything except to keep the moderators busy editing posts!

 

You are right, I'm not really trying to convince Moose to do anything other than state his reasoning (a mighty task sometimes) and I realize that I wouldnt stand a ShareHers chance in hell at convincing him to let his wife have an experience with another woman. The opposing viewpoints are hopefully presented to the folks who read this to consider their own opinions and reasons for endorsing or favoring one over the other. Of course that reasoned sort of discussion of opposing views doesnt usually sit well with conservative christians, so I cant say I'm suprised by much of what Moose says.

 

I've heard it all before, and it just doesnt hold water to me. But then, this discussion isnt supposed to be about me, or about Mooses religious beliefs, or about what I would or wouldnt do.

 

If I can be so bold as to restate ShareHers initial question to get this (hopefully) back on topic:

 

Wouldn't you think that most wives would love to have a husband that could accomodate their deepest, most secret sexual fantasies and still feel like he loved and adored her and only her?

 

 

As for a busy moderator, LS is a profit making entity, correct? When in business, being busy usually translates into making money, so I I think maybe the moderator is ok with being busy, having a busy board, and a busy thread as well.

 

Care to comment on that moderator?

[Iwould]

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

YOU are making this a contest. In your desire to convince everyone that your way is the best way, you are not following your own advice and trying to understand what others are saying. Can you not accept that your opinion is right for YOU and not for everyone? WHY is it so important for you to 'make people realize' anything? Honestly, what does it matter to you, or to anyone, what others believe? You are arguing with people on the internet for cryin' out loud! What do you hope to gain?

 

Actually, he asked a question about other peoples opinions. I'd BET (boy, sure is a lot of betting going on around here!) thats exactly what he expected to gain... other peoples perspectives.

 

Originally posted by HokeyReligions

How about if I said to you that celibacy is absolutely the best. All that sexual tension and the hormones can be channelled into such higher pursuits of happiness. That the sheer and total completeness that I feel goes so far beyond the most powerful orgasm that I ever had, I will never go back to having sex again. There is no getting bogged down is useless physical activity and sweat when I can think clearer, be happier, be more fulfilled on a spiritual (not religious, I'm agnostic) level. My husband and I are closer then we ever thought possible. We have connected on a level that most people probably never reach---if they did, they would never divorce. Try celibacy for a few years and you'll see. Would you try it?

 

You know, if you made a convincing enough argument for it, I probably WOULD try it.... I'm experimental like that.

[Paul]

Hello,

 

Originally posted by Iwould

As for a busy moderator, LS is a profit making entity, correct? When in business, being busy usually translates into making money, so I I think maybe the moderator is ok with being busy, having a busy board, and a busy thread as well.

 

Care to comment on that moderator?

 

This thread has been the subject of numerous moderation actions over the course of the past few days because of violations to our long-standing Community Guidelines. I ask that you please review those guidelines before participating further. While we do not want to prevent further discourse on this subject, if this continues to be a problem, we will be forced to close the thread and/or restrict access to violators.

 

LoveShack.org is not profitable at this time and we rely on donations from our community to maintain the costs associated with keeping this site available to those who wish to utilize it. You may read more about our donation campaign efforts at http://www.loveshack.org/donate/.

 

Please ensure that future posts are on-topic with the first post of the thread.

 

Best wishes,

Paul

[madisonriley]

I have read every single comment on this topic and seem to disagree with everyone. It's obvious that shareher's wife likes the idea of being with another man. Hello? She did the other guy for 2 months. I think maybe she's a little shy to screw another man in the same room with you, though. She's uncomfortable and should be eased into it. I think she'll come around. Maybe you could track down that guy that she screwed for 2 months and invite him over for a weekend. She's obviously into this kinky sex game but maybe not to the extent that you are. And if she's not...will you be ok with that?

For those of you out there who keep posting back and forth...please stop. Nobody wants to read about wether or not you believe in God or wethere or not this is immoral. Stick to the subject. Either give advice or just don't post. Geez!!!!

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by madisonriley

...

 

madison, Thank you for your reply!

 

It's obvious that shareher's wife likes the idea of being with another man. Hello? She did the other guy for 2 months. I think maybe she's a little shy to screw another man in the same room with you, though. She's uncomfortable and should be eased into it. I think she'll come around.

 

Excellent point! Obviously (obvious to you and me anyway)she must be into it at least a little bit if she did it for 2 months. I might've been able to "force" her to do something she didn't want to do one time maybe but for 2 months? She may be uncomfortable screwing another man in front of me but we'll never know unless she does. This is not something I harp on her about every day or even every week. I'll go months and months before I mention it in and even then, it's in a round about way. I'll never come right out and say "I want you to have sex with another man NOW!" I might simply bring up an aspect of her 2 month visit that I found very sexy, like what she wore one night while with him or something they did together. I brought this up during sex a month ago and when she saw how turned on I was getting, she started volunteering a few more details until I ummm ... completed.

 

I think she'll come around. Maybe you could track down that guy that she screwed for 2 months and invite him over for a weekend.

They talk on the phone every few months or so. Not about sex though, just general stuff. When he does call, it's usually her cell phone but he has called the house a couple of times. Maybe next time if I get to the phone first I'll invite him up. When they were both in Florida 2 years ago, I did speak to him on the phone. It was an interesting conversation to say the least. Basically I was trying to give him some subtle hints on how to help her orgasm. She has a tough time having an orgasm during sex and it was no different while she was screwing him. He finally got her to during the last week she was there.

 

She's obviously into this kinky sex game but maybe not to the extent that you are.

Exactly right. She definitely enjoyed her 2 months of getting serviced by another man but it had to be the right circumstances and the right person before she did it. She's very picky and she doesn't want to sleep with just any guy, nor do I want her to.

 

And if she's not...will you be ok with that?

I mentioned before that I certainly wouldn't love her any less if she never does it again. I'm sure many men enjoy their wives wearing sexy clothes and when the wives get older and dress conservatively, the husbands don't love them any less. I adore my wife. That's not going to change.

 

 

For those of you out there who keep posting back and forth...please stop. Nobody wants to read about wether or not you believe in God or wethere or not this is immoral. Stick to the subject. Either give advice or just don't post. Geez!!!!

I am somewhat guilty of falling into the religion debate and also of getting into it with people that can't comment civilly, regardless of whether they find our lifestyle repulsive or not. I'm trying to do better!

 

Thanks again for your reply!

[VivianLee]

ShareHer...it's me again....the sheltered and a bit naive chick.....I just wanted to ask....

 

 

Don't you feel just a itty, bitty, tiny, mili-semi-quasi bit jealous????

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by VivianLee

ShareHer...it's me again....the sheltered and a bit naive chick.....I just wanted to ask....

 

 

Don't you feel just a itty, bitty, tiny, mili-semi-quasi bit jealous????

 

Vivian, you are just too cute! I don't know diddly about you but the image you paint of yourself is that of a real sweetheart!

 

Ok, now to answer your question. When my wife (then fiancee) left for Florida to work and I suggested that she could fulfill her sexual needs with someone else, her reply was "Yeah right". Her meaning was, "Other men aren't going to be falling at my feet so it probably will not happen." When she got there she found out differently. A number of men were hitting on her and finally, one very hot looking guy. When she called me to tell me how they had been dirty dancing, groping and kissing, I had butterflies in my stomach. If you could cut me open and identify what I was feeling, it might have been a little bit of jealousy. It felt like some sort of sexual excitement. I might have been partially envious that I couldn't be there to see her dressed in what she and her friends called "whorewear". I honestly can't tell you exactly what I was feeling but I know I was sexually excited and probably felt a little bit of danger as well. Ever ride in a rollercoaster? They're supposed to be fun and most of the time they are but isn't there a moment or two that you're scared out of your mind? If you weren't, the ride probably wouldn't be nearly as exciting. This was exactly like being on a rollercoaster ... it was terribly exciting at times and felt dangerous at others. Like being on a rollercoaster, in the back of your mind, no matter how dangerous the ride seems, you know it's not going to crash and no one will get hurt. (Most times)

 

I was/am very secure with my wife but the mind can play unusual tricks at times. There were nights when she wouldn't call me until 4am and I had been up all night wondering what she was doing. Lack of sleep can also make the mind have doubts but all the doubts would be erased once she called and told me she loved me. It was like being on that rollercoaster. I was so sexually charged up that when she would tell me the details of her night, I wouldn't last more than a minute. Then, when she finally came home 2 months later, it was almost like she had had a total makeover. Her confidence level soared. She spent a little extra time on her makeup, her hair and her tan was stunning. She oozed sex appeal. We went back to our usual life but I hung on to the sexual memories.

 

Soooo, was I a tiny bit jealous? Well, I guess I was a little bit at times but I'm a logical person and whenever I felt a twinge of jealousy, I reasoned it out of my head. ie: What did I have to be jealous about? Was she leaving me for another man? No. Did the sex he gave her make her not want to have sex with me? No. Was she having fun and excitement and getting a ton of attention from another man without worrying about hiding anything from her fiancee? Yes! That was the basis of my original question... Wouldn't women want to have a little guiltfree sex and at the same time have a loving husband waiting for them when they got home? Aren't there some aspects of being single and dating that women(as well as men) really like? ie: the excitement and newness of dating and yes, having sex with someone different. My question basically was, who wouldn't want having the best of both worlds?

 

So Vivian, is this more than you really wanted to know? You called yourself a sheltered and a bit naive chick. It would be interesting to learn a little more about you and your relationships, experiences or lack of and your thoughts. Even sheltered, naive chicks have interesting thoughts, urges, and fantasies tucked away.

 

Thanks for writing!

[HoldOn]

Ever ride in a rollercoaster? They're supposed to be fun and most of the time they are but isn't there a moment or two that you're scared out of your mind?

 

Hey man, you're not riding a roller coaster, you're jumping off a high rise building.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by HoldOn

Hey man, you're not riding a roller coaster, you're jumping off a high rise building.

 

Let's discuss the portion of your post that wasn't deleted for being inappropriate. (I didn't see that part)

 

Most people survive riding a roller coaster.

All people die jumping off a high rise building.

My wife had sex with another man and all 3 of us survived.

 

Thus, this was a very poor analogy. Try again.

 

 

Here's a better analogy for you...

 

Car wrecks and this thread. People are appalled by them but both must be interesting enough that they keep looking.

[lnichols]

Wow! Something that's finally got more posts than Michael Moore!! Or Cosby! I'm proud.

 

There's all kinds of stuff that my husband wants me to do, and if I say I'm not comfortable with it, then it is okay. Same thing for him. That is between us as a married couple.

 

If it okay with them, then okay. I just don't see the reason for the original post. I wonder whether Shareher is just trying see what kinds of emotions he can bring out by being outlandish.

 

Whatever, dude.

[HoldOn]

Oh, I can't believe that part was deleted. I didn't think it was too attacking! And I didn't even use any curse words.

 

I am just saying that your behavior is more dangerous than a roller coaster. Sorry my analogy wasn't good enough for you. Gawd. Your posts are so mean. It's dangerous to the health of your relationship, the health of your bodies and the emotional health of all 3 of you. Just because you have survived so far, just means you are lucky.

 

Even if you weren't married, you must admit that having a woman sleep around is dangerous to her health....wouldn't you?

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by lnichols

There's all kinds of stuff that my husband wants me to do, and if I say I'm not comfortable with it, then it is okay. Same thing for him.

Oh, so for example, if you wanted him to take the trash out and he doesn't want to, it would have absolutely no impact on you whatsoever and you'd wander off happilly like June Cleaver? Are you telling me that whenever you don't get what you want, there is not even an iota of disappointment within you? Remarkable! Taking the trash out might not be the best analogy on my part but I guessed that if I used a sexual analogy you wouldn't answer because of your comment: "That is between us as a married couple."

 

I just don't see the reason for the original post.

What's the reason for any post? Some are for asking for advice although mine wasn't. It was to ask a question. But, instead of getting answers, I get a lot of snide remarks that eventually get deleted anyway.

 

I wonder whether Shareher is just trying see what kinds of emotions he can bring out by being outlandish.

The key word here is trying. I haven't even tried but some of these responses make it obvious that my thread ruffled a few feathers. And the reason my post is outlandish is because it doesn't fit your lifestyle, right?

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by HoldOn

Gawd. Your posts are so mean.

I don't think my posts are mean. Is it at all possible that you're overly sensitive or more likely, that you interpret different meaning from written text than what was intended? Happens all the time in this world of emails and PM's.

 

It's dangerous to the health of your relationship, the health of your bodies and the emotional health of all 3 of you. Just because you have survived so far, just means you are lucky.

 

Even if you weren't married, you must admit that having a woman sleep around is dangerous to her health....wouldn't you?

I've probably tried to make the following point 3 or 4 times already but I'm willing to try again. Ok, what's your definition of "sleeping around"? Sleeping with one other person? 2? 3? 15? And how often? Once a week, once a month, once a year? Would you suggest to your single girlfriends that they should not sleep around because it is dangerous to her health? I'm guessing you might and that's ok. Again, depends on what your idea of sleeping around is. Would you tell her to never have sex with another man because it is dangerous to her health? Well, it is isn't it? You can't know who he's been with. He may look perfectly fine but you never know what he's carrying. If your husband died in a car accident tomorrow, once you had grieved, moved on with your life and began dating again, would you avoid sexual contact the rest of your life? Is it possible that you dated a man, had sex with him a couple of times, broke up, eventually met another man, dated, and had sex with him too? Is that sleeping around?

 

Do you or anyone you know smoke? I don't know what I think is more stupid, the actual act of smoking or the people doing it. It's bad for their health but they keep doing it anyway because they enjoy it. How about eating fatty foods? How about sky diving? White water rafting? Driving? Maybe we should all lock ourselves in our houses to avoid any dangerous situations that we might enjoy.

[sinner]

Yeah, its been entertaining. You've been an articulate and, for the most part, persuasive advocate of outside-the-mainstream sexual behavior. As I've said before, if it involves truly consenting adults, safe sex and no tissue damage go for it.

 

Life is short.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by sinner

You've been an articulate and, for the most part, persuasive advocate of outside-the-mainstream sexual behavior.

 

Good morning Sin,

 

Persuasive? Are you saying what I think you're saying? I've persuaded you to take the plunge?

 

Seriously, although I'm sure that most people have the same feeling of repulsiveness toward this concept (watching their spouse with another man) as they did before reading the thread, I wonder if it aroused even the slightest curiousity somewhere deep inside of any men as to what it might be like.

 

When I was 25, I placed a personal ad in a local newspaper looking for "friendship, relationship or whatever." A woman originally from California responded. When chatting with her on the phone the first time, I asked her to describe herself and she said, "I'm 30 years old, 5'7", 125lbs, blue eyes, blonde hair, happilly married..." I cut her short and asked, "Happilly married???" She explained that she was very happilly married and that her husband liked to watch her have sex with other men! I was shocked, embarrassed, and I couldn't get off the phone with her quick enough! Later, when I told a buddy about it, he practically yelled, "GIVE ME HER NUMBER! I'LL DO IT!" My buddy who was a normal person, wasn't weirded out by it and maybe that's what made it ok enough with me that I called her back and set up a meeting. I met her alone first and she was beautiful, professional and well spoken. We had a nice conversation and everything was going great...then her husband walked in. He too was professionally dressed and seemed like a regular guy off the street. He was friendly and made me feel comfortable. They talked about how people in California were more open-minded and tolerate of the lifestyle than people from the east were. He never flatout asked if I wanted to have sex with his wife but only asked if I'd like to come over to their house the following night. The thought made me nervous but I agreed to come over. The next night when I knocked on their door, it opened a bit and she stood there in a sexy teddie. She led me to their family room where her husband was waiting. We had a few drinks and then she suggested watching a porno movie. During the movie she worked her way over next to me on the sofa and before I knew it, here I was kissing and groping a guy's wife while he's sitting there watching. I was enjoying her but the thought of him watching was still really weird to me. A short time later, we moved to their bedroom and I began doing things to her that I had only previously done with girlfriends and all the while he watched. When we were done, they ushered me out the door and I drove home wondering how any man could be excited about watching someone else having sex with his wife. Weird! They called me a few times in the upcoming weeks but I always conveniently had plans. I gave them my buddy's number and he eagerly serviced her a few times too.

 

When did my feelings change? I honestly can't say for sure. I do remember years later seeing a buddy give my girlfriend a friendly, albeit extended hug and feeling aroused by it. That may have been the start of it.

 

Anyway, my point is, there was a time in my life when I also thought this lifestyle was really strange and couldn't imagine why any couple would want to do it.

[VivianLee]

Vivian, you are just too cute! I don't know diddly about you but the image you paint of yourself is that of a real sweetheart!

 

LOLOL!! Yeah, I'm so precious, I scare myself sometimes!! Nawww...I was raised in a "Jerry Falwell Fundamental Mama Hated Sex" household (preacher's daughter) plus I was raised to be a "proper southern belle" which goes almost as far as not even acknowledging that someone has gas let alone sexual desires. I'm also a minister's wife and even though I was a bit of a "wild child" in highschool (isn't that what they expect out of preacher's kids?)....my husband was the only man I'd been with....I was so naive and stupid about sex....I loved it from day one but I felt guilty because my Mama gave me the idea that I shouldn't like it....

 

After my husband had an affair....I really started going on websites to see what I could do to learn about sex! Although I learned tons of techniques and such....my husband wasn't/isn't interested. Soooo after being a stay at home and having no contact except with kids and church people....I started getting on a forum about something I had always been interested in....well...then I met someone and had an affair.....so I'm not as innocent to a certain point, yet I'm still naive in alot of ways and still sheltered to a degree....

 

Thanks for taking time to explain to me what you were feeling concering your wife...

 

That was the basis of my original question... Wouldn't women want to have a little guiltfree sex and at the same time have a loving husband waiting for them when they got home? Aren't there some aspects of being single and dating that women(as well as men) really like? ie: the excitement and newness of dating and yes, having sex with someone different. My question basically was, who wouldn't want having the best of both worlds?

 

I know some people on here will just feel total moral indignity at the thought but even as someone that was raised in a Christian home and has tried (not very well) to live as a Christian...I think it's safe to say most people would like to have the best of both worlds (especially if it wasn't morally wrong), maybe not so much if they are happy in their marriage but for sure if they were unhappy but loved their spouse and didn't want to leave....

 

Matters of the heart and life can be so dang confusing!!