Age difference... does it matter for guys ?

[Professor X]

Thinking about it in retrospect, he really only wanted me to kiss him on the cheek. Sign of respect or something...

 

If he really wanted to kiss me, he would just do it no ?

 

Not as simple as you make it sound if you're a shy person. Some men need the other side to start the engine before they get the car going (I was like that with my first kiss).

 

Truth is, I can't think why he'd escort you all the way to your car when right before he declared that he wanted to stay finish some work (sounds like he was not thinking clearly cause of emotions) unless of course he's attracted to you, yet is to shy to make a move.

 

Dunno much about you Kamila, but if you're not shy, than I suggest go for it next time you're alone.

[Kamila]

Thanks for the advice guys, next time I'll try to take some initiative for my shy guy.

 

He's maybe really intimidated by me or something.

 

I just jump around all day at the office, I'm making jokes, I'm being loud, I'm being out of character, really.

 

It's like I have energy to blow up this place.

 

[Professor X]

Do tell about the outcome

[TaraMaiden]

Do tell about the outcome

 

Oh hell yeah - ditto that!

[123321]

Well, here's the story. I'm so confused right now, because I never thought I would be posting something like this here.

I was mainly on the break-up and coping section and yeah getting over my heartbreak until I meet someone else...

 

He's a guy from work I've meet a month ago and we work on the same project.

He's 27 and I'm 30. At first he thought I was younger than him but I said I wasn't (without telling him how old I really am).

I know 3 years of difference isn't much.

 

But for you guys ? Is that a problem ?

 

He doesn't know and he's flirting like crazy with me. What should I do ?

 

He once texted me when I was sick and he wished me to get well soon.

And when we go out with the colleagues he's like super enthusiastic around me.

Today was really the icing on the cake, we went to a restaurant with the colleagues and on our way back to the office we kind of grew away from the group.

We talked about what we were going to do in the weekend, about general stuff.

He also slowed his pace just to talk more with me...

 

So confused here ... I'm here with a big grin on my face I can't wash away

 

 

Three years, with you being only 30, isn't a big deal IMO.

[Kamila]

Well, we saw each other again today. Awkward as hell again.

 

I don't know why we keep making us suffering each other like that.

 

We grabbed a coffee together at the vending machine, and we talked about the weekend.

He told me about his family going on holidays and him being left here alone.

Then he started talking about his huge family and that he had a family reunion yesterday.

 

And that someday he'll have kids and such, because all his brothers have a family.

I just stood there nodding and laughing.

He was sooo hinting.

 

And 2 times he looked at my body, that was so uncomfortable.

And that sad look, puppy eyes when I go away. Oh come one !

 

We also had lunch with another colleague, we laughed so much, we had a really good time.

Tomorrow we plan on making a post-it poster on my window.

He's gonna bring green post-its.

 

Waaaah...

[ladyabstrused]

Hi Kamila, just wanted to say that your posts make me smile. It's nice to read about your happy moments whenever you're around this guy. Good luck! I hope things go well for the both of you.

[Professor X]

Well, we saw each other again today. Awkward as hell again.

 

I don't know why we keep making us suffering each other like that.

 

We grabbed a coffee together at the vending machine, and we talked about the weekend.

He told me about his family going on holidays and him being left here alone.

Then he started talking about his huge family and that he had a family reunion yesterday.

 

And that someday he'll have kids and such, because all his brothers have a family.

I just stood there nodding and laughing.

He was sooo hinting.

 

And 2 times he looked at my body, that was so uncomfortable.

And that sad look, puppy eyes when I go away. Oh come one !

 

We also had lunch with another colleague, we laughed so much, we had a really good time.

Tomorrow we plan on making a post-it poster on my window.

He's gonna bring green post-its.

 

Waaaah...

 

Ahhhhhhhh

 

Next post I wanna know you guys kissed.

[Kamila]

Erm, I think I've got a problem here.

 

He's not making a move, at all.

 

I don't know what I should do, what is he thinking ?

 

If I say something, and he responds negatively, what will I do ?

 

I know something's going on, and maybe I'm coming on too strong, I just don't know...

 

Are we stuck or something ?

[Professor X]

Erm, I think I've got a problem here.

 

He's not making a move, at all.

 

I don't know what I should do, what is he thinking ?

 

If I say something, and he responds negatively, what will I do ?

 

I know something's going on, and maybe I'm coming on too strong, I just don't know...

 

Are we stuck or something ?

 

Ye, you are stuck. As I said, he sounds like an awfully shy person. Just make the move yourself, is it so hard?

 

P.S. Let me check my crystal ball and I will tell what he is thinking, BRB don't move!

[Kamila]

How do I make a move ? I'm not a guy ???

 

What should I say, how should I act ???

[TaraMaiden]

Next time he kisses you on the cheek - take his face, hold it, and kiss him gently on the lips.

Hold it for a second longer than you normally would (!) then draw back - and let him speak first.

 

do you need a diagram...?

[Professor X]

How do I make a move ? I'm not a guy ???

 

What should I say, how should I act ???

 

What TM said is a good way to transition into a real kiss. You could also wait for the kiss on the cheek, when your faces are close, switch to a lip kiss right before, that'd be a nice surprise. Don't over react if he jumps or pulls back, just give him the cutest smile ever.

[Kamila]

I should kiss him ? Wow, I've never done that before. Now I know what it's like for guys to make the first move.

 

I wanted to do that during our post-it poster get together, but we weren't alone in the office anymore.

That plan went straight down the drain.

 

He told me earlier that before he weighed a lot and had to lose weight.

So can I conclude that having weight problems in the past made him difficult to kiss a girl ?

 

Could he have never been kissed before ? Or even kissed anyone ?

 

Oh man, now I'm even doubting if he likes me. I don't even know if I should pursue this.

[TaraMaiden]

Aaaaand.... where is the 'bashing frustrated head against the wall" emoticon when you need it....

 

Oh come on girl - this is the 21st century!! go for it!!

 

You have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

If it backfires, but you get on that well, you can say "sorry it was awkward, but you don't know until you try, do you? Oh well, best buddies works really well for me!"

 

If it DOESN'T backfire - HAPPY DAYS!!!!!

 

if all else fails - play him this!

Edited May 8, 2012 by TaraMaiden

[Professor X]

I should kiss him ? Wow, I've never done that before. Now I know what it's like for guys to make the first move.

 

I wanted to do that during our post-it poster get together, but we weren't alone in the office anymore.

That plan went straight down the drain.

 

He told me earlier that before he weighed a lot and had to lose weight.

So can I conclude that having weight problems in the past made him difficult to kiss a girl ?

 

Could he have never been kissed before ? Or even kissed anyone ?

 

Oh man, now I'm even doubting if he likes me. I don't even know if I should pursue this.

 

He likes you, trust me. He's just insecure, probably, as you said, because he used to be over-weight. Just go for it, be his first (maybe), make it fire.

[Kamila]

Okay, maybe I'm just too impatient and jumped the gun too early.

 

Today we did talk alot, but there were so many colleagues and work and stuff, that we maybe both got tired.

We also exchanged a lot of awkward looks, so yeah. I got the signals.

He also teased me, that means that he wanted me to punch him or something.

We never ever got physical with each other, like touching arms, hands or stuff. That means that he wants that... mmmm.

 

He also came back to me with the fact that I sent him a mail with nice humouristic videos and we did talk at his desk for a long time this evening.

Everytime I wanted to go away he held me back to show me something else.

 

To end this evening I sent him a text message that we 'forgot' about our post-it drawing, aha... that will keep him guessing.

 

Okay, tomorrow, plan of attack:

- I'll great him with a nice kiss on the cheek

- I'll touch his arm a bit (gesture to show him that he shouldn't be afraid of me...)

- I'll invite him with coffee and a big smile on my face

[Professor X]

Okay, tomorrow, plan of attack:

- I'll great him with a nice kiss on the cheek

- I'll touch his arm a bit (gesture to show him that he shouldn't be afraid of me...)

- I'll invite him with coffee and a big smile on my face

 

Or... Just kiss him and find out

[ladyabstrused]

Oh Kamila, just do it already! We're all waiting for you to make the move. Maybe he is too? Someone told me before that life is too short not to make the move when you're really interested. So go!

[Kamila]

Okay, a little update.

 

We greeted this morning and he seemed very happy to see me. Awkward of course.

 

Before lunch, he gives me a dvd that he promised to gave me a couple of days ago.

He barely can't look me in the eyes. And I'm smiling like a stupid teenager. Then we wait together at the elevator for our colleagues.

Awkward again.

 

Luckily we manage to talk about stuff and we go eat.

 

Yeah, I got his vibe, he's also hooked.

 

Problem is we're at work and it's impossible to know how to proceed, what to say, where, ...

 

Patience.

[ladyabstrused]

According to science a male and a female when they get married, should have not more 15 yrs age difference.

 

According to science? Not more than 15 years age difference? Could you tell me more of the reasons why this was concluded that way?

[TaraMaiden]

I doubt there is any genuine, scientific authenticated reliable 'study' anywhere that stipulates this to be the case. "According to Science" in this case, is probably about as reliable as "I hear they say that....."

[Professor X]

Okay, a little update.

 

We greeted this morning and he seemed very happy to see me. Awkward of course.

 

Before lunch, he gives me a dvd that he promised to gave me a couple of days ago.

He barely can't look me in the eyes. And I'm smiling like a stupid teenager. Then we wait together at the elevator for our colleagues.

Awkward again.

 

Luckily we manage to talk about stuff and we go eat.

 

Yeah, I got his vibe, he's also hooked.

 

Problem is we're at work and it's impossible to know how to proceed, what to say, where, ...

 

Patience.

Patience will only make you doubt (as you showed here once). Seize the moment. Kiss him.

[Kamila]

Patience will only make you doubt (as you showed here once). Seize the moment. Kiss him.

 

I don't think so. We're both growing to each other at a slow pace.

He's trying to show me that he's not pushing me.

It's a love tango, push and pull.

He's a very clever guy.

 

Today he saw I wasn't at ease at dinner and to break the ice a bit he showed me some vacation pictures on his cellphone.

We were so close together, touching fingers and he just looked at me.

If we were alone, we would have kissed, that's for sure.

Of course you can't kiss in the full crowded mess hall at our office.

What would people say !

But we just knew.

 

Tomorrow evening, we'll be alone, because most of the colleagues leave early.

I know he's gonna make a move then.

Otherwise I will.

[Kamila]

That's the problem when you're colleagues, you can't start anything at the office. You're just too afraid.

 

 

Today, he was hesistant to greet me, he even didn't look at me.

While other colleagues were eager to speak with me, about the coming weekend. Meh.

 

When we wanted to go out for dinner, he kept looking outside of the window and he wasn't at ease at all with me.

We almost didn't talk. He couldn't let himself go a bit. As a result, I shut down and almost ignored him.

 

Luckily, in the evening, we talked with a colleague about... ironing... he laughed very loud. I felt very uncomfortable.

 

He left early, I didn't even got the chance to have a one on one conversation. Luckily, he wished me good weekend with a wicked look in his eyes.

 

Is he acting like this because he's afraid or something ? I don't know what to make of it all.

 

I'm going to send him a mail with some humoristic videos, I know he asked me if I knew some good ones, maybe that will break the ice a bit...